Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? - Family (2)

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Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? - Family (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by TR1212: 3:36pm On Oct 10, 2016

Drdreyy:

Pray and Start being more devoted/committed to church activities, you will definitely find a single brother in church who is also committed and patiently waiting for God to give him the right partner.

You can also inform your pastor about it, and lastly, if you are still putting on that ring for camouflage, stop it because it will also scare potential and serious suitors away especially in church.

Thank you, I will pray, but unfortunately, I don't believe in going to church for the purpose of 'finding a single brother'. For me, its not a good reason to go to church. yes, anything can happen and anywhere too, but to have such a motive in joining groups and attending services will make me more self conscious than God conscious in the presence of God. no nah. Inform my pastor you say? To pray for me or get a husband? cheesy

bros, I'm not that desperate nah. If not for pressure around me, I could actually tell all suitors now to give me some more time to stand on my feet so I can have something substantial to offer in marriage. But the pressure sha...thanks anyway

1 Like

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by jamalchance(m): 3:51pm On Oct 10, 2016

Could be that u are unintentionally scaring single men away with ur attitude or personality or unintenionally attracting married me with ur attitude and personality

1 Like

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by TR1212: 4:05pm On Oct 10, 2016

jamalchance:
Could be that u are unintentionally scaring single men away with ur attitude or personality or unintenionally attracting married me with ur attitude and personality

I could ask HOW but since u don't know me, I wont argue this. But then, would I have the ability to INTENTIONALLY attract men yet use it on the married ones instead of the singles?

1 Like

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by Nobody: 4:18pm On Oct 10, 2016

TR1212:

bros, shey na office i dey tie the wrapper dey go? besides, where is he indirect message in tying wrapper except maybe at home(which i still don't do. And if that was the case, i would be complaining about my neighbors not some random clients and acquaintances who barely see me in casuals. 2016 complaint mode of dressing? Abeg, teach me

I asked two of my colleagues, on separate occasions why they do that knowing they are married. They said that they want extra children and unmarried and working women were just perfect because their children will not need their financial help.

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by jamalchance(m): 4:21pm On Oct 10, 2016

TR1212:

I could ask HOW but since u don't know me, I wont argue this. But then, would I have the ability to INTENTIONALLY attract men yet use it on the married ones instead of the singles?

U are right I don't. Know you so I just guessed not statin a fact also I said UNINTENTIONALLY

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by Acidosis(m): 4:38pm On Oct 10, 2016

TR1212:
Dear family section members,

I really do need a reply/ies and I believe in the maturity of some of the posters in this section. So I'd appreciate if insults and abuses are kept to the minimal because I know they will come.

Please, I believe I have a problem with men and I need help. I am a single lady in my early 30s and I live and work in Abuja. Don't get me wrong, I don't sleep around, and I am not an "Abuja babe" if you guys know what I mean; but my problem is with married men. I don't know what is wrong with that institution called MARRIAGE or the people in it, but it really is affecting me that is not in it. 99% of the men that ask me out are married and I am tired, frustrated and with no clue as to how to stop this. I am not pretty . I don't dress provocatively. I don't go to some 'strategic' places, hell I haven't even been to a club before, so I cant say I attract them, my job alone places me in their line. but I don't know what I do wrong or why this is happening to me.

Worst is, some of these are very young and newly married men. Shey they no see me before they marry? At over 30, instead of them single suitors to be coming, the Agbayas wont let me be. I have had ALL of the most daring temptations of my life from married men. You have no idea. PLs tell me people, Am I cursed?? If yes, what prayers do I need to lift it ?? Are there characteristics inherent in some women that make men to perceive them as "Potential play thing/side chick". I'd really like my sanity and peace of mind. its enough to be single and fighting through life's ishes alone, so this kind of complication isn't welcome at all.

NL is the last place I'd have thought to take my issues to, but the last friend I confided in, a young married guy whom I attended his wedding o, turned around to make passes too. I know some will say "go and Marry", but I wont marry myself nah and even at that, I doubt if it will change anything because I have even gone as far as moving about with a ring on my finger. Please, people, married men and women here, and single ladies in similar shoes, tell me what to do, because to me, giving in is not an option but then, I am not so strong to be the biblical job of my generation because that's what it's beginning to feel like.

That's the problem in bold.

Let me explain:

1. Men naturally see " not-so-pretty" ladies as easy to get.

They believe women who are not so pretty crave for attention, and want to be around men all the time. They think they're doing you a favour by coming to "play" with you.

Married men don't have the time to chase extremely beautiful women. They know it's a hard job to "play" with a goddess, they don't have that time to waste especially as they have to return home to act like the decent husband their wives know them to be. They only want to visit and exit asap, reason they consider "not-so-pretty" women as great option to pass time. Again, married men do not want to compete with other men (singles especially), they believe the beautiful ones are highly competitive and attract lots of single and ready men, so they make their tent on the readily-available option.

2. Secondly, I believe that line in bold was wrongly used. I don't know you, but I'm 100% sure I will find you highly attractive when I meet you, but that line indicates esteem issues. This brings back the issue I raised in 1. Men see women with low self esteem as easy to catch. Esteem is solely a psychological issue, and got nothing to do with pan-caked face.

What you can do?

Believe in yourself that you are a beautifully and wonderfully made lady. You do not need the recommendations of any man to survive. Say these to yourself, and watch how serious single men will locate you.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by sisisioge: 4:45pm On Oct 10, 2016

Acidosis:

That's the problem in bold.

Let me explain:

1. Men naturally see " not-so-pretty" ladies as easy to get.

They believe women who are not so pretty crave for attention, and want to be around men all the time. They think they're doing you a favour by coming to "play" with you.

Married men don't have the time to chase extremely beautiful women. They know it's a hard job to "play" with a goddess, they don't have that time to waste especially as they have to return home to act like the decent husband their wives know them to be. They only want to visit and exit asap, reason they consider "not-so-pretty" women as great option to pass time. Again, married men do not want to compete with other men (singles especially), they believe the beautiful ones are highly competitive and attract lots of single and ready men, so they make their tent on the readily-available option.

2. Secondly, I believe that line in bold was wrongly used. I don't know you, but I'm 100% sure I will find you highly attractive when I meet you, but that line indicates esteem issues. This brings back the issue I raised in 1. Men see women with low self esteem as easy to catch. Esteem is solely a psychological issue, and got nothing to do with pan-caked face.

What you can do?

Believe in yourself that you are a beautifully and wonderfully made lady. You do not need the recommendations of any man to survive. Say these to yourself, and watch how serious single men will locate you.

Amen bro!

1 Like

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by Nobody: 4:50pm On Oct 10, 2016

You have said that your job places you in their line of vision so please don't take it personally. Its nothing that you have done/doing

It just shows the moral decadence that has taken over our society.
it should also give you more zeal to ensure that you don't rush and make sure that you pick a man that will respect and love you.

Spare a thought for the wives of these randy men and the nonsense that their husbands will bring back home to them; because even if you say no, some immoral women will still say yes to them.

Hold your head high, you have done nothing wrong

Dont let their issues rub off on you

Take off the wedding ring and be just you.
The right man will come, you will be surprised that it will be when you least expect it
((hugs))

2 Likes

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by Nobody: 4:51pm On Oct 10, 2016

TR1212:

bros, shey na office i dey tie the wrapper dey go? besides, where is he indirect message in tying wrapper except maybe at home(which i still don't do. And if that was the case, i would be complaining about my neighbors not some random clients and acquaintances who barely see me in casuals. 2016 complaint mode of dressing? Abeg, teach me

let any matured lady come on this thread and testify she doesn't get proposals from married men at different times in their lives , something that is common practice amongst black people from time immemorial, Nigerians even respect women cus she is married try and cross over to S/A where no one gives a fv*k for your marriage status

your case is that the nature of your job gives them easy access to try their luck on you if you work in an organisation dominated by women that wouldn't be happening as well as a lady who is self employed

Don't think it is peculiar to you it's a face many single and matured ladies go through in life but as soon as you start discussing my husband this, my husband that bra bra bra...or even clutching your child upandown in that alone men knew that this lady isn't available that stage will becomes history

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by Drdreyy: 4:58pm On Oct 10, 2016

TR1212:

Thank you, I will pray, but unfortunately, I don't believe in going to church for the purpose of 'finding a single brother . For me, its not a good reason to go to church. yes, anything can happen and anywhere too, but to have such a motive in joining groups and attending services will make me more self conscious than God conscious in the presence of God. no nah. Inform my pastor you say? To pray for me or get a husband? bros, I'm not that desperate nah. If not for pressure around me, I could actually tell all suitors now to give me some more time to stand on my feet so I can have something substantial to offer in marriage. But the pressure sha...thanks anyway

Wrong interpretation!!!

I didn't say you should start going to church for the purpose of finding a single brother. That's a wrong motive. And it shows a terrible/poor interpretation/understanding of the advice i gave you.

I mean you should pray and dedicate more time to work for God,. By being more devoted and committed to church activities. God can quickly answer your prayers through those little efforts. And the man can come from anywhere, not necessarily your church.

For the latter part, I see no big deal in telling your pastor about it, it doesn't show desperation. Just tell him to pray for a good and God fearing husband. I don't think there is anything desperate in that comment.

At times, some Pastor's do ask the congregation to pray for those looking for life partners, and other things like that, so it's no big deal or desperation.

Maybe you are the shy type and your church has a large congregation so meeting with your pastor one on one is very difficult. But if you are attending deeper life, then i don't think you will see the issue of telling your pastor about it a big deal.,

in short If you bring any brother, the pastor well ask if God revealed him to you and the same will be asked from the brother and both of you will be told to go and pray about it before you can be joined together after further interrogations must have been made. So there is nothing to hide from your pastor.

2 Likes

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by metallisc(m): 5:31pm On Oct 10, 2016

TR1212:
@ jibril659 thank you.
but I'd cut down every single tree in the forest if I knew at least which forest is housing the tree he is stuck in.

come and cut down the tree i'm in and let's solve this problem once and for all, we will both benefit from the solution! grin

on a serious note though, let's talk in private!

1 Like

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by Nobody: 5:51pm On Oct 10, 2016

metallisc:

come and cut down the tree i'm in and let's solve this problem once and for all, we will both benefit from the solution!

on a serious note though, let's talk in private!

Her auntys are here o! grin

We are here to protect her
enhennnn Firstly are you married?
What do you do?
what are your qualifications?
what do you bring to the table?
introduce yourself pls cool

3 Likes

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by metallisc(m): 5:56pm On Oct 10, 2016

tearoses:

Her auntys are here o!
We are here to protect her
enhennnn Firstly are you married?
What do you do?
what are your qualifications?
what do you bring to the table?
introduce yourself pls

ayam not married!

bring to the table now now??

even if na mafia

1 Like

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by Nobody: 6:03pm On Oct 10, 2016

metallisc:

ayam not married!

bring to the table now now??

even if na mafia

Our sister is very precious to us

2 Likes

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by metallisc(m): 6:07pm On Oct 10, 2016

tearoses:

Our sister is very precious to us

1 Like

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by metallisc(m): 6:08pm On Oct 10, 2016

tearoses:

Our sister is very precious to us

i am also precious to myself and my people grin

, when i have a chat with her, then we will see how it goes...

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by metallisc(m): 6:12pm On Oct 10, 2016

TR1212:

Thank you, I will pray, but unfortunately, I don't believe in going to church for the purpose of 'finding a single brother'. For me, its not a good reason to go to church. yes, anything can happen and anywhere too, but to have such a motive in joining groups and attending services will make me more self conscious than God conscious in the presence of God. no nah. Inform my pastor you say? To pray for me or get a husband? bros, I'm not that desperate nah. If not for pressure around me, I could actually tell all suitors now to give me some more time to stand on my feet so I can have something substantial to offer in marriage. But the pressure sha...thanks anyway

hhmmmm... your head is actually screwed on tight.. plus for you.. me likey! kiss

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by TR1212: 8:00pm On Oct 10, 2016

Muafrika2:

I asked two of my colleagues, on separate occasions why they do that knowing they are married. They said that they want extra children and unmarried and working women were just perfect because their children will not need their financial help.

And then we think the less educated men and women in ther rural areas are over populating the country.

In my case though, just a few weeks ago, someone told me: "just carry my child and I will send you to Canada". He already has 4kids. So tell me what this man is looking for since he is more than willing to take responsibility.

1 Like

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by TR1212: 8:02pm On Oct 10, 2016

jamalchance:

U are right I don't. Know you so I just guessed not statin a fact also I said UNINTENTIONALLY

I'm sorry, I didn't read well I'm sure. No vex

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by TR1212: 8:07pm On Oct 10, 2016

Acidosis:

That's the problem in bold.

Let me explain:

1. Men naturally see " not-so-pretty" ladies as easy to get.

They believe women who are not so pretty crave for attention, and want to be around men all the time. They think they're doing you a favour by coming to "play" with you.

Married men don't have the time to chase extremely beautiful women. They know it's a hard job to "play" with a goddess, they don't have that time to waste especially as they have to return home to act like the decent husband their wives know them to be. They only want to visit and exit asap, reason they consider "not-so-pretty" women as great option to pass time. Again, married men do not want to compete with other men (singles especially), they believe the beautiful ones are highly competitive and attract lots of single and ready men, so they make their tent on the readily-available option.

2. Secondly, I believe that line in bold was wrongly used. I don't know you, but I'm 100% sure I will find you highly attractive when I meet you, but that line indicates esteem issues. This brings back the issue I raised in 1. Men see women with low self esteem as easy to catch. Esteem is solely a psychological issue, and got nothing to do with pan-caked face.

What you can do?

Believe in yourself that you are a beautifully and wonderfully made lady. You do not need the recommendations of any man to survive. Say these to yourself, and watch how serious single men will locate you.

My brother, shey wetin make I talk na? I didn't mean to sound low really, I only meant to imply that I don't have all those bazookas that attract men like flies to dead rat. So I still don't get why. In any case I read you well and will take your advice to heart.

Thanks for the complement too.

3 Likes

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by TR1212: 8:14pm On Oct 10, 2016

tearoses:
You have said that your job places you in their line of vision so please don't take it personally. Its nothing that you have done/doing

It just shows the moral decadence that has taken over our society.
it should also give you more zeal to ensure that you don't rush and make sure that you pick a man that will respect and love you.

Spare a thought for the wives of these randy men and the nonsense that their husbands will bring back home to them; because even if you say no, some immoral women will still say yes to them.

Hold your head high, you have done nothing wrong

Dont let their issues rub off on you

Take off the wedding ring and be just you.
The right man will come, you will be surprised that it will be when you least expect it
((hugs))

I quit that job and recently relocated. The instance I sited for acidosis just happened in a new town. Few days ago I went for a seminar and someone I met there, a fellow participant is at it again. And this man's children are older than I am. These two instance actually made me create this post.

The wedding ring is off, thank you, and I have sometimes don't more than sparing thoughts for the wives of these men. I've had to go some counselling job that no one asked me to to get some of them to stop what they do. Thanks a lot

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by TR1212: 8:22pm On Oct 10, 2016

Drdreyy:

Wrong interpretation!!!

My bad sire, I get you perfectly now. Thank you!!

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by Acidosis(m): 8:25pm On Oct 10, 2016

TR1212:

My brother, shey wetin make I talk na? I didn't mean to sound low really, I only meant to imply that I don't have all those bazookas that attract men like flies to dead rat. So I still don't get why. In any case I read you well and will take your advice to heart.

Thanks for the complement too.

lol @bazookas

Nice one my sister

Ermm, one more thing! How's your dream life? Any recurring strange dream?

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by TR1212: 8:26pm On Oct 10, 2016

tearoses:

Her auntys are here o!
We are here to protect her
enhennnn Firstly are you married?
What do you do?
what are your qualifications?
what do you bring to the table?
introduce yourself pls

tearoses:

Our sister is very precious to us

I am blessed! Thank you ma'am. You are more precious.

Oga metallisc, shey you hear?

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by TR1212: 8:29pm On Oct 10, 2016

Acidosis:

lol @bazookas

Nice one my sister

Ermm, one more thing! How's your dream life? Any recurring strange dream?

Nah... No such things sir. And my dream life is fairly OK. I actually understand it better than my worldly or physical or whatever-word-it-is life.

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by TR1212: 8:36pm On Oct 10, 2016

metallisc:

come and cut down the tree i'm in and let's solve this problem once and for all, we will both benefit from the solution!

on a serious note though, let's talk in private!

But you haven't told me which forest is housing the tree na shey you heard me say I don't know? Don't tell me the forest is sambisa o shocked

metallisc:

ayam not married!
bring to the table now now??
even if na mafia

Before nko? Even me in looking for what to bring nah, shey make we sit for the table dey look ourselves?

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by Acidosis(m): 8:39pm On Oct 10, 2016

TR1212:

Nah... No such things sir. And my dream life is fairly OK. I actually understand it better than my worldly or physical or whatever-word-it-is life.

I like

1 Like

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by Nobody: 8:52pm On Oct 10, 2016

Acidosis:

That's the problem in bold.

Let me explain:

1. Men naturally see " not-so-pretty" ladies as easy to get.

They believe women who are not so pretty crave for attention, and want to be around
men all the time. They think they're doing you a favour by coming to "play" with you.

Married men don't have the time to chase extremely beautiful women. They know it's a hard job to "play" with a goddess, they don't have that time to waste especially as they have to return home to act like the decent husband their wives know them to be. They only want to visit and exit asap, reason they consider "not-so-pretty" women as great option to pass time. Again, married men do not want to compete with other men (singles especially), they believe the beautiful ones are highly competitive and attract lots of single and ready men, so they make their tent on the readily-available option.

2. Secondly, I believe that line in bold was wrongly used. I don't know you, but I'm 100% sure I will find you highly attractive when I meet you, but that line indicates esteem issues. This brings back the issue I raised in 1. Men see women with low self esteem as easy to catch. Esteem is solely a psychological issue, and got nothing to do with pan-caked face.

What you can do?

Believe in yourself that you are a beautifully and wonderfully made lady. You do not need the recommendations of any man to survive. Say these to yourself, and watch how serious single men will locate you.

Your comments re always precise. 10/10.

3 Likes

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by Ishilove: 9:27pm On Oct 10, 2016

The society is so messed up.

Op you said 90% are married? No single guys?

Sister, pray out that thing in your life that attracts only married men to you. It is a waster. The single guys are not blind so why must it only be married men? Attack it with holy violence and you will see a change

3 Likes

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by metallisc(m): 9:32pm On Oct 10, 2016

TR1212:

But you haven't told me which forest is housing the tree na shey you heard me say I don't know? Don't tell me the forest is sambisa o

Before nko? Even me in looking for what to bring nah, shey make we sit for the table dey look ourselves?

my dearest precious! cheesy

the tree is in the jungles of lagos cheesy

don't worry about the table, it is very movable and can be filled in good time with dedication... shikena! cool

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by metallisc(m): 9:38pm On Oct 10, 2016

Ishilove:
The society is so messed up.

Op you said 90% are married? No single guys?

Sister, pray out that thing in your life that attracts only married men to you. It is a waster. The single guys are not blind so why must it only be married men? Attack it with holy violence and you will see a change

Re: Am I Cursed? Where Did I Go Wrong?? by Nobody: 9:46pm On Oct 10, 2016

Acidosis:

That's the problem in bold.

Let me explain:

1. Men naturally see " not-so-pretty" ladies as easy to get.

They believe women who are not so pretty crave for attention, and want to be around men all the time. They think they're doing you a favour by coming to "play" with you.

Married men don't have the time to chase extremely beautiful women. They know it's a hard job to "play" with a goddess, they don't have that time to waste especially as they have to return home to act like the decent husband their wives know them to be. They only want to visit and exit asap, reason they consider "not-so-pretty" women as great option to pass time. Again, married men do not want to compete with other men (singles especially), they believe the beautiful ones are highly competitive and attract lots of single and ready men, so they make their tent on the readily-available option.

2. Secondly, I believe that line in bold was wrongly used. I don't know you, but I'm 100% sure I will find you highly attractive when I meet you, but that line indicates esteem issues. This brings back the issue I raised in 1. Men see women with low self esteem as easy to catch. Esteem is solely a psychological issue, and got nothing to do with pan-caked face.

What you can do?

Believe in yourself that you are a beautifully and wonderfully made lady. You do not need the recommendations of any man to survive. Say these to yourself, and watch how serious single men will locate you.

You have done a really good job here. I hope she will feel uplifted by this contribution. 100 000 likes!

OP, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. Michelle Obama is not considered to be the most beautiful woman but she is attractive enough to be the wife of a man who is the president of one of the most powerful countries in this world and many women would give their all to be in her place. It's not all about the way you look, it's also about how you move, feel, talk, smile. And like Acid has rightly said, it's important how you see yourself. Learn to focus on the things you like about yourself and you will feel better. Confidence goes a long way. wink

It's not your fault that married men approach you. You are single and many men think it's their birth right to cheat. You know that line 'Men are polygamous by nature'. Ignore their kind. These men have never come past the pubertal stage. There are great men out there who have more important things to do than cheat and who hold values such as honesty and loyalty in high esteem.

1 Like

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