...Hey I am in a fix right now. The summary of the very long story is this girl who lives with me an carrying my son now was somehow in my life by parental influence.We are living together but not wedded. I assisted her to gain admission and was a family friend but along the line, she surreptitiously endeared herself to my parents. It was obvoius to both of us that there was no love between us but our parets, I mean my Dad and her Mum really wanted us together. I broke up with a lovely friend just to please my dad and relief the subtle pressure from this girl. I went and paid her bride price before we ever had sex. During marriage course, it was clear that marriage built on pity and parental influence was bound to fail. We stopped meanwhile she was already pregnant for me... I made a mistake by trying to please people at the detriment of my happiness. Please how do I wriggle myself out of this situation?

D deed has been done. U av to accept responsibility for ur actions nd learn to love her as ur wife for d sake of ur unborn child.

Don't worry, you would sing a different song once your son is here. Meanwhile, take care of your wife the best you could...you have paid bride price. The rest na ceremony.

Mumben:
[s]D deed has been done. U av to accept responsibility for ur actions nd learn to love her as ur wife for d sake of ur unborn child.

sisisioge:

Don't worry, you would sing a different song once your son is here. Meanwhile, take care of your wife the best you could...you have paid bride price. The rest na ceremony.

...the deed is done? I am ready to forfeit the bride price o, if it is not church wedding, I am not married o!

...When my child comes, I will take full responsibility sure, but I think we have to separate for good.

Dking99:


...the deed is done? I am ready to forfeit the bride price o, if it is not church wedding, I am not married o!

...When my child comes, I will take full responsibility sure, but I think we have to separate for good.

Aren't you Igbo? In my understanding, Igbos actually have to collect it back to be properly divorced. Relax, you might be feeling the pregnancy blues too. It usually passes in no time.

You must begin to love her.

bro. End this misery for yourself.
Stop the marriage nd cater for your kid
Marry the woman you love

NevetsIbot:
bro. End this misery for yourself.

Stop the marriage nd cater for your kid

Marry the woman you love

This is why you shouldn't bring your problems to nairaland, there are so many selfish people in this world.

OP, you impregnated a girl after paying her pride price and she is carrying your baby. What were you thinking before now? Consider the two other lives involved in this mess and make a commitment to make things right and work things out for the good of all involved

Pidgin2:



This is why you shouldn't bring your problems to nairaland, there are so many selfish people in this world.

OP, you impregnated a girl after paying her pride price and she is carrying your baby. What were you thinking before now? Consider the two other lives involved in this mess and make a commitment to make things right and work things out for the good of all involved

so you had to quote me and tag me selfish?

You must be so awesome.

Op. Marrying that lady might not even help your kid. You might become a wife beater simply cos you married her out of pity.

Needless to say, you'll be unhappy all your life cos you don't love your wife.

Marrying that woman might make you a complainant,sadist,grouchy,depressed fellow.

Ive seen kids whose parents are not together turn out good. Even better than those with flawless parents.

Moreover, the woman will lead a sad life.... Yu married her outta pity,you dnt love her... She'll knw

NevetsIbot:
so you had to quote me and tag me selfish?

You must be so awesome.

Op. Marrying that lady might not even help your kid. You might become a wife beater simply cos you married her out of pity.

Needless to say, you'll be unhappy all your life cos you don't love your wife.

Marrying that woman might make you a complainant,sadist,grouchy,depressed fellow.

Ive seen kids whose parents are not together turn out good. Even better than those with flawless parents.

Moreover, the woman will lead a sad life.... Yu married her outta pity,you dnt love her... She'll knw

Hey, this is why I said nairaland is full of people that keep thinking of themselves alone.

Ask your grand mother if she was in love with your grandad before they got married, it's not likely because then the emphasis was not on falling in love. It was more on making things work and learning to live and love each other. And most times it worked out for them hence the fewer number of divorces back then

Pidgin2:


Hey, this is why I said nairaland is full of people that keep thinking of themselves alone.

Ask your grand mother if she was in love with your grandad before they got married, it's not likely because then the emphasis was not on falling in love. It was more on making things work and learning to live and love each other. And most times it worked out for them hence the fewer number of divorces back then

you are a bif foool to include my grandparents in this.

Your type only get married to procreate.

Dnt quote me again

Mumben:
D deed has been done. U av to accept responsibility for ur actions nd learn to love her as ur wife for d sake of ur unborn child.

Abi o my sista, People be asking stupid questions on social media, After she don carry belle, you come dey ask question.

Love or not, ! When he was entering her unprotected & she was shouting..Ouch ouch ! Oh baby! .....He didn't know.

NevetsIbot:
you are a bif foool to include my grandparents in this.

Your type only get married to procreate.

Dnt quote me again

Did I insult them? I only lectured you based on their experience. OP, see the type of people you want to base your future as well as the future of your family on. Be careful, if you need advice visit a professional counselor.

Dking99:


...the deed is done? I am ready to forfeit the bride price o, if it is not church wedding, I am not married o!

...When my child comes, I will take full responsibility sure, but I think we have to separate for good.

You are getting it all wrong. Marriage is when the grooms family fulfills all the requirements made by the brides family(most times it's the bride price). Marriage in the church or mosque or court is just a social event and for documentation.
On the other matter, I think you should give yourself chance to love this girl(woman). Forget about that one you left. Their is a good reason why you left her. Focus on your wife & unborn child. You will sing a different song soonest.

Pidgin2:


Did I insult them? I only lectured you based on their experience. OP, see the type of people you want to base your future as well as the future of your family on. Be careful, if you need advice visit a professional counselor.

their experience is not in your knowledge. They got married cos thy love eachother.

Before you start doing I too sabi, be sure of your facts.

Ion need no counselor. You do. Your thinking is warped and myopic. You're having the wrong perception abt marriage.. Frankly, you need help.

Dking but you claim you don't love her so how were you able to have an erekshon for a lady you don't love and even when you did why didn't you quickly stand up from on top her before you open your well and pour all the water inside her. Ok so the deed has been done. You caused the problem by allowing your family manipulate you left right and centre.

Solution allow her to born and send money for your son's upkeep and keep checking on him but you don't have to marry her even if she has your baby. Marry the lady you really love before you regret your life

This is a lesson to foolish ladies that think sex with a man or having a baby with a man will make him love you OR be going to his parents house to be doing pepefuru when you know he clearly doesn't love you or wants be with you

You don't love her, yet you broke up with your ex because of her.

You don't love, yet you paid her bride price.

You don't love her, but you slept with her on more than one occasion and got her pregnant.

You don't love her, but she is now your live-in lover.

Mr Man, you're a threat to all good women out there. Tweh!!

Op, you love her o
If you didn't you wouldn't have gone this far.
The only thing worrying you now is confusion.
Better forget your ex and start loving your wife right.

NevetsIbot:
their experience is not in your knowledge. They got married cos thy love eachother.

Before you start doing I too sabi, be sure of your facts.

Ion need no counselor. You do. Your thinking is warped and myopic. You're having the wrong perception abt marriage.. Frankly, you need help.

What is Ion?

I hope others are reading this. Never marry someone out of pity or pressure.


It's unfortunate that she's pregnant, I wouldn't want a kid in this mess.

@op your selfishness is disgusting.

You remind me of my husband.
I'm in a similar situation as your wife but our parents didn't introduce us.

We met in school and dated for 4 years.
My husband chased me like a possessed person.
We've done trad and I got pregnant and that was when he realized he doesn't love me.

I've been carrying my pregnancy alone but with love from his family and mine.
I'm not sure I can forgive him if he eventually comes back for reconciliation.

We don't live together and I haven't seen him for like 5 months.
I'm 8 months gone, have a good job can take care of myself and my baby.

My God spare us from devilish men like you and my husband.

Both of you knew/know one important fact: you do NOT love each other.

Right now you need to stop thinking about yourself and how you're going to "wriggle" out of a situation that you knowingly went into. You need to support her through this pregnancy and when she gives birth you need to be there for your son/be a daddy to your son.

If, after she gives birth, you still do not love her and can't imagine spending the rest of your life with her, then both of you should find your own individual happiness, separately. BUT you still need to be in your son's life and fulfill your responsibilities as a father.

Toor, whatever dat rocks ur boat... all dis while u didnt call it quit, it's now dat she's preg dat u realized u made a mistake trying to please ppl... Don't u think it might b as a result of d pregnancy? All d same u both shuld talk over it and reach an agreement,
U don't judge by hearing one side of d story, until I hear ur wife's version, keep marrying her I wish her safe delivery.

wapu:
@op your selfishness is disgusting.

You remind me of my husband.
I'm in a similar situation as your wife but our parents didn't introduce us.

We met in school and dated for 4 years.
My husband chased me like a possessed person.
We've done trad and I got pregnant and that was when he realized he doesn't love me.

I've been carrying my pregnancy alone but with love from his family and mine.
I'm not sure I can forgive him if he eventually comes back for reconciliation.

We don't live together and I haven't seen him for like 5 months.
I'm 8 months gone, have a good job can take care of myself and my baby.

My God spare us from devilish men like you and my husband.

Ahn ahn, why did he wait till after trad before realising he didn't love you??

wapu:
@op your selfishness is disgusting.

You remind me of my husband.
I'm in a similar situation as your wife but our parents didn't introduce us.

We met in school and dated for 4 years.
My husband chased me like a possessed person.
We've done trad and I got pregnant and that was when he realized he doesn't love me.

I've been carrying my pregnancy alone but with love from his family and mine.
I'm not sure I can forgive him if he eventually comes back for reconciliation.

We don't live together and I haven't seen him for like 5 months.
I'm 8 months gone, have a good job can take care of myself and my baby.

My God spare us from devilish men like you and my husband.

If both of you did trad, then there is more to it than what you said. May be you should be praying for him.
.
.
Your husband go don chop am for mama put.

You don't love her but you put a baby in her?
Paid her bride price and you claim to be in a fix?

Yeah you do need a hammer to fix your head..
You guys are fuc..ck.ing piss takers!!

Get a legal divorce....

Berbierklaus:
[b]I just fed up for this [size=25pt]SPERM DONORS[/size] in the name of men roaming d*cks,you claim your family pushed you into impregnanting a woman and paying her bride price,are you confessing to be a dunce I wonder how a grown ass man will say he was manipulated into whatever (this habit of men not taking responsibility for their actions Is something I'm yet to understand in Nigerian Sperm donors)

Mr you Berra start loving that woman,you want to abandon her now that she is heavy with pregnancy,let any man dare that with me,he will never set his eyes on that kid

Lesson to ladies out there,don't go and be entering the family way with any man that has not done all the marriage required,do court wedding join sef,these Sperm donors are just confused people.

mtchwwwww,see what he even wrote sef,I know the Nairaland chauvinists will soon come and type what you want to hear,i hope your own sisters don't go thru what you want to put this lady thru.


Quote Me with sense o,I dey para[/b]

It's best they don't do court and white.

I was about to do white but had to pause it cos he was saying I forced him into marriage.

Someone that proposed 7 months before the trad.

It's easier to divorce traditionally compared to legal battles and church will keep asking you to pray and will never divorce you.

If you suspect you have a confused man please don't go further to yoke yourself with him.

I'm waiting for my child to be born I'll ask his parents to come and take their brideprice.

Berbierklaus:
[b]I just fed up for this [size=25pt]SPERM DONORS[/size] in the name of men roaming d*cks,you claim your family pushed you into impregnanting a woman and paying her bride price,are you confessing to be a dunce I wonder how a grown ass man will say he was manipulated into whatever (this habit of men not taking responsibility for their actions Is something I'm yet to understand in Nigerian Sperm donors)

Mr you Berra start loving that woman,you want to abandon her now that she is heavy with pregnancy,let any man dare that with me,he will never set his eyes on that kid

Lesson to ladies out there,don't go and be entering the family way with any man that has not done all the marriage required,do court wedding join sef,these Sperm donors are just confused people.

mtchwwwww,see what he even wrote sef,I know the Nairaland chauvinists will soon come and type what you want to hear,i hope your own sisters don't go thru what you want to put this lady thru.


Quote Me with sense o,I dey para[/b]

you this misandrist. Men matter go soon make you faint

Exponental:
Get a legal divorce....

What kind of legal divorce when he's just married customarily?
*zoomsoff *

wapu:


It's best they don't do court and white.

I was about to do white but had to pause it cos he was saying I forced him into marriage.

Someone that proposed 7 months before the trad.

It's easier to divorce traditionally compared to legal battles and church will keep asking you to pray and will never divorce you.

If you suspect you have a confused man please don't go further to yoke yourself with him.

I'm waiting for my child to be born I'll ask his parents to come and take their brideprice.

You are a strong woman