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How To Escape The Friend Zone: From Friend To Girlfriend Or Boyfriend - Romance - Nairaland

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How To Escape The Friend Zone: From Friend To Girlfriend Or Boyfriend by Onyemadonald(m): 11:33am On Apr 21, 2017
How do you motivate a friend to be "more than friends"? How do you move forward from "just friends" to girlfriend, boyfriend, partner, or lover? How do you escape the friend zone?

What is "THE FRIEND ZONE"?
For those who don't know the term, "the friend zone" refers to a situation where one individual in a friendship develops more intense feelings and wants to become "more than friends" with the other person. More often than not, the other person is unaware of the friend's desires and quite happy in the friendship-only arrangement. As a result, the person is "stuck" in the "friend zone", unable to transition from just friend to girlfriend or boyfriend.
Being stuck in a friendship and wanting more can be a frustrating position. Sometimes this frustration is sexually-motivated, with one friend desiring a physical relationship with the other. On other occasions, the friends are already sexually involved (i.e. friends-with-benefits), but there is a motivation to transition into a "relationship" as a committed girlfriend or boyfriend. In other instances, both motivations play a role. Nevertheless, in any case, wanting more than you are currently getting is a heart-wrenching situation. The "friend zone" is not an easy place to live!

Why Does "The Friend Zone" Happen?
Before I help you get out of the friend zone, we first need to discuss why people get stuck there in the first place. Essentially, all relationships are social exchanges (for more, see here). This means that people set up give-and-take agreements, usually without discussion, to get what they want from the other person and give what they are willing to give.
When someone gets stuck in the friend zone, they have entered into an exchange friendship that isn't even. The other person is getting everything he/she wants...but the person stuck in the friend zone isn't. In a nutshell, the friend zone person sold himself or herself short. They gave their "friend" everything, without making sure they got everything they wanted in return.
Let's look at some examples to make this point clear...
*Emeka and Jenny are friends. As "friends", Emeka pretty much does everything for Jenny. He takes her places, buys her things, listens to all of her problems, and helps her out of trouble. Emeka, however, wants to be Jenny's boyfriend. Jenny, though, isn't interested because she's having all of her "boyfriend" needs met by Bob, without having to meet his. She can be free, non-committed, and still have all of Bob's effort. That is why Bob is in the friend zone.
*Sally and Pat are friends-with-benefits. They hang out and hook up. Sally, however, wants to be in a real relationship with Pat. Pat, in contrast, is happy to just hook up. Pat is being sexually fulfilled, without having to meet Sally's commitment needs. The exchange isn't in Sally's favor and she has nothing left to bargain with. Therefore, she's stuck in the friend zone.

How to Escape the Friend Zone:
To escape the friend zone, you must first realize that all relationships involve negotiation - and you are attempting to "re-negotiate" the current exchange. Essentially, you want "more" from the other person. Most likely, you are already giving too much and what you really want is for them to balance the scales.
Fortunately, there are a few influence principles that do indeed balance the scales. Using those principles, we can devise a few steps to get you out of the friend zone:

1) Be Less Interested:
The relationship is already imbalanced because you value it more than the other person. Take a step back. Being "needy" is no way to negotiate. Desperate people end up with what others give them, not what they want. So, be less interested and ready to walk away if you don't get the relationship you want. Those who are more willing to walk away have the power to guide the relationship
2) Make Yourself Scarce:
Spend some time away from your "friend" and do less for them. If they truly appreciate you, then your absence will make them miss you and want you more. This is the principle of "Scarcity" - where people value something more when it is rare or taken away from them. When you are no longer around as much or tending to their needs, they will most likely feel the loss. This will increase their desire for you and their willingness to meet your needs back. If it doesn't, then they are just "not that into you"...and don't value you. In that case, find another "friend". READ THE FULL ARTICLE HERE: http://onyemadonald..com/2017/04/how-to-escape-friend-zone-from-friend.html
Re: How To Escape The Friend Zone: From Friend To Girlfriend Or Boyfriend by MrAwePresident: 11:38am On Apr 21, 2017
SUMMARY

Never become her friend
If you like her,introduce yourself to her
Spend time together
After less than a week of calls and hangouts
Ask her out

Dnt o wait longer than a week
Re: How To Escape The Friend Zone: From Friend To Girlfriend Or Boyfriend by SirL0neWolf(m): 12:04pm On Apr 21, 2017
I've been making home runs in the friendzone...its not a nice place sad

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Re: How To Escape The Friend Zone: From Friend To Girlfriend Or Boyfriend by firstking01(m): 12:21pm On Apr 21, 2017
In one sentence....let your intentions and motives be known to her from the onset and you would 've saved yourself from having to read this apostle paul's kinda epistle to the church in ephesus.
Re: How To Escape The Friend Zone: From Friend To Girlfriend Or Boyfriend by ghostmember(m): 1:30pm On Apr 21, 2017
You get friendzoned if the other person is not into you. Not because you're a friend.
Re: How To Escape The Friend Zone: From Friend To Girlfriend Or Boyfriend by chiraqDemon(m): 7:04pm On Apr 21, 2017
firstking01:
In one sentence....let your intentions and motives be known to her from the onset and you would 've saved yourself from having to read this apostle paul's kinda epistle to the church in ephisus.
What if they were not there from the onset
And they developed with time
Talking from experience

1 Like

Re: How To Escape The Friend Zone: From Friend To Girlfriend Or Boyfriend by Alphamale2017(m): 7:37pm On Apr 21, 2017
firstking01:
In one sentence....let your intentions and motives be known to her from the onset and you would 've saved yourself from having to read this apostle paul's kinda epistle to the church in ephesus.
hahahahah madman
Re: How To Escape The Friend Zone: From Friend To Girlfriend Or Boyfriend by Alphamale2017(m): 7:38pm On Apr 21, 2017
ghostmember:
You get friendzoned if the other person is not into you. Not because you're a friend.
exactly bro,

1 Like

Re: How To Escape The Friend Zone: From Friend To Girlfriend Or Boyfriend by firstking01(m): 7:47pm On Apr 21, 2017
Alphamale2017:
hahahahah madman
Is it that funnycheesy
Re: How To Escape The Friend Zone: From Friend To Girlfriend Or Boyfriend by Alphamale2017(m): 8:05pm On Apr 21, 2017
firstking01:
Is it that funnycheesy
yea. Becos apst paul really wrote alot of epistles, it was funny and correct
Re: How To Escape The Friend Zone: From Friend To Girlfriend Or Boyfriend by firstking01(m): 8:09pm On Apr 21, 2017
Alphamale2017:
yea. Becos apst paul really wrote alot of epistles, it was funny and correct
Yes, esp the book of acts, romans and corinthians....nigga go school well and he read law...one of my best characters in the bible.
Re: How To Escape The Friend Zone: From Friend To Girlfriend Or Boyfriend by Alphamale2017(m): 9:05pm On Apr 21, 2017
firstking01:
Yes, esp the book of acts, romans and corinthians....nigga go school well and he read law...one of my best characters in the bible.
he probably never saw jesus face to face while jesus was on earth but he thought other disciples who even listened to the word from the mouth of jesus, they saw and walked with christ and he had more knowledge than the oda because of his passion and education , peter was a fisherman maybe that explains why the book of first and second peter were short and just a few pages, sometimes ur knowledge level can affect ur delivery, even when u really know about the topic. Example, if u want to read about "grace" which is the crux of the new testament then u have to read apst paul's epistle, he explained it better than some of the oda disciples. this shows why someone who prays for 5min and studies hard for an exam will likely score higher than someone who blasted in tongues for 3 hours but didnt open a single page of the book, because in the sight of God, knowledge has the same power as prayer, this goes to those nairaland girls who attends church 5 times a week when the begin to approach 30yrs, thinking that is what will bring the rich dude who will propose in a private jet , dont be suprised when u see one small girl getting married to the kind of man u slay queens dream of , u have becomee so spiritual to the point of forgetting to work on ur wack minset about relationship, while u were attending church 5 times a week U FORGOT TO WORK ON URSELF, in the sight of God knowledge has the same power as prayer, gracias,

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Re: How To Escape The Friend Zone: From Friend To Girlfriend Or Boyfriend by firstking01(m): 9:21pm On Apr 21, 2017
Alphamale2017:
he probably never saw jesus face to face while jesus was on earth but he thought other disciples who even listened to the word from the mouth of jesus, they saw and walked with christ and he had more knowledge than the oda because of his passion and education , peter was a fisherman maybe that explains why the book of first and second peter were short and just a few pages, sometimes ur knowledge level can affect ur delivery, even when u really know about the topic. Example, if u want to read about "grace" which is the crux of the new testament then u have to read apst paul's epistle, he explained it better than some of the oda disciples. this shows why someone who prays for 5min and studies hard for an exam will likely score higher than someone who blasted in tongues for 3 hours but didnt open a single page of the book, because in the sight of God, knowledge has the same power as prayer, this goes to those nairaland girls who attends church 5 times a week when the begin to approach 30yrs, thinking that is what will bring the rich dude who will propose in a private jet , dont be suprised when u see one small girl getting married to the kind of man u slay queens dream of , u have becomee so spiritual to the point of forgetting to work on ur wack minset about relationship, while u were attending church 5 times a week U FORGOT TO WORK ON URSELF, in the sight of God knowledge has the same power as prayer, gracias,
You don preach the whole bible finish na, wetin remain againgrin.
Re: How To Escape The Friend Zone: From Friend To Girlfriend Or Boyfriend by Alphamale2017(m): 9:34pm On Apr 21, 2017
firstking01:
You don preach the whole bible finish na, wetin remain againgrin.
E remain to pay ur offering cheesy abi u nor wan make i fly private jet and build my own university cheesy , u can pay to lala , he is the head usher, he will pass the bowl to u. I know these nairaland girls will come for my head for the other comment i made. I never see them since this evening. Make somebody make post about broke guys na, lol cc safiaa
Re: How To Escape The Friend Zone: From Friend To Girlfriend Or Boyfriend by firstking01(m): 9:45pm On Apr 21, 2017
Alphamale2017:
E remain to pay ur offering cheesy abi u nor wan make i fly private jet and build my own university cheesy , u can pay to lala , he is the head usher, he will pass the bowl to u. I know these nairaland girls will come for my head for the other comment i made. I never see them since this evening. Make somebody make post about broke guys na, lol cc safiaa
Because your intentions are ulterior i no go come your church with offering and i go carry my tithe go give daddy G.Ogrin.....As for your later comment, only the guilty ones will quote you.
Re: How To Escape The Friend Zone: From Friend To Girlfriend Or Boyfriend by Alphamale2017(m): 9:54pm On Apr 21, 2017
firstking01:
Because your intentions are ulterior i no go come your church with offering and i go carry my tithe go give daddy G.Ogrin.....As for your later comment, only the guilty ones will quote you.
chai , how i go take buy my private jet now . sad sad
Re: How To Escape The Friend Zone: From Friend To Girlfriend Or Boyfriend by firstking01(m): 9:59pm On Apr 21, 2017
Alphamale2017:
chai , how i go take buy my private jet now . sad sad
Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all other things shall be added unto you(matt 6:33)grin
Re: How To Escape The Friend Zone: From Friend To Girlfriend Or Boyfriend by Alphamale2017(m): 10:09pm On Apr 21, 2017
firstking01:
Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all other things shall be added unto you(matt 6:33)grin
yea i have been seeking since 7pm so i am through now, am through with my own seeking so when will they deliver the ferrari plus 2 private jet , 2 oh , red and black smiley cheesy

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