Nerdg:


Did you read the part I said all our break-ups were because she refused sex with me. Why do she do this? My problem is why we had issues because of sex and she's getting it somewhere else?

This one that u are hammering too much on sex are u sure u don't want to use this girl for money ritual?

BiggyB242:



Walk away, after she said no sex to you. She gave it up for someone else, meaning she didn't love you enough. Now she has run out of option she fell back to you.

This is what I tell guys if a girl loves you she will do almost everything to see you happy. Girls let their guards down for the ones they truly love.

better talk

OP, that girl doesn't love you...neither does she feel any sexual attraction towards you and sexual attraction is very important in marriage. The only problem here is, you don't have the right moral standing to judge her...but I get your grievance.

I think you're just a back up plan.
My opinion

from your write up, you have committed more abracadabra than her.. I mean compared to you, the girl is Saint, and obviously you love each other so why not marry her?

If i were you i will examine her carefully if truly those things she mentioned actually happened to her. but if those things are true, seriously i can not marry because when she was still tight she refuse u, now she loose to the extent of even got pregnant for someone, na wao. you av gotten a job,it is now she wants u.. What if na only one picking God say she go born, and that one picking has already gone tru stillbirth. I begggii, make she go sit down

darlenese:
I know the Op pain, she has given her condo to a school boyfriend and a man she got pregnant for, how come she didn't allow the Op to have a taste?

when it comes to the Op it becomes a no-sex relationship but it involves other men, she allows them enjoy her. Pls Op dnt be in a rush to get married to her , do some more investigation, try and introduce yourself to her family so she can freely spend more time with u.

Blessings fall on you... Pon Pon.

See our fellow girls supporting the girl upandan. Chaiiii! How come she didn't open up to him about her secret until he revealed his... That girl is devilishly smart.

Nerdg:
She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were teens and have always loved her. She refused me sex and along the line, her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.
We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and settled with a condition that there would be no sex. This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs. I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go on with this marriage?

Hmm she didn't give u sex buh she gave a guy for 4yrs
Hmm
She didn't get pregnant for d guy buh for anoda man an elderly man at dat , I presume while she was still dating d oda guy
So now u k ow of 2 guys who have slept with her but still want to marry her?
Hm
She even had an abortion buh u haven't tasted the waters yet)
??
Hmmm
Let me consult amadioha on this one

Sex bfore marriage is better than those pretenders who will end up breaking up ur family when they give u a male child

enigmatic741:

To be quite blunt, for someone like me.. I'll end it at the moment..Not because of her story particularly, but because she turned me down, while sleeping with others..If probably have slept with her already and we broke up and that happened while we weren't together...I might forgive her..But she instilled a misguided personality of herself..That I can't let go..

now someone made sense this is very reasonable no sentiments

The song of regret is very unpleasant so if u cant deal with it for the rest of your life then quit!

whitebeard:
Op u also aborted a pregnancy, abeg both of u are the same, I don't know if u should marry but the way u guys are revealing secrets to yourselves is also a good sign.

lol.so they are birds of same feather...

Sterope:
What is 'exposing' about having a stillbirth?

You are the one to judge. You are a bloody hypocrite! I wouldn't normally say this but most people would consider you more morally bankrupt than a person who chose to keep a baby. You aborted a baby for goodness sake. You have no standing to feel somehow or think anyhow of someone who chose to keep a baby.

And if it is sex that makes you think that she is exposed, you have personal issues you really need to deal with. You have no moral high ground to an opinion on this issue. Walk away if you can't take it. She definitely doesn't deserve to be subjected to your 'thoughts'.

why you dey carry the matter for head like gala?

AntiWailer:
Leave her alone.

You are lucky she told you.

I met a wonderful sister of God back then. We were talking about secrets and relationship.

She told me it is not wise for a lady to tell a guy any past.

That she has lost a lot of potential suitors cos of her body count that is over 150. (Yes u heard me right) she wrote their names.

She is married now. The guy she married she told me she said she was raped twice and that was all.

150 kwanu? Na freak she be be that OO. Shooo

The issue is not about sex but the fact that she prefers other guys to him. He is obviously a last resort for her. According to Witney Houston 'where do broken hearts go? they go to a love that has always been there' thats d case here...she knows the guy has always loved her!

lovelygurl:


Where I can protect the lady

Do I know the lady or do I seem to be playing your ridiculous childish gender play. I am a boy so I defend boys or I am girl, so I defend girls

The issue here is all about SEX. He should have made that crystal clear instead of talking about the abortion and stillbirth because how are those topics even related to each other.

And where the hell did he in his whole write up claim she gave SEVERAL men sex. She came back quite loose, so what? Does that mean it's a must for her to have sex with him. How is love even equal to sex?

My problem with the op is, he is talking about a super super secret, whining about a stillbirth and an abortion when his real problem is "sex"

You see, my problem here is she denied him sex each time he asked for it but she gave it to some persons even up to 4yrs and then another for pregnancy. Please, let us call a spade its name.

I don't understand, are some of these threads real or are people seeking attention or even trying to get feed back for some movie idea they had? Some of the information shared out here are extremely specific. If someone has the courage to share something sensitive like that with you, I doubt they pictured it being front page on nairaland.

Solve personal issues personally. If you can't then I dnt think anything serious should be a priority for you right now.

Nerdg:
She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were teens and have always loved her. She refused me sex and along the line, her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.
We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and settled with a condition that there would be no sex. This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs. I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go on with this marriage?

[color=#990000][/color]

FAM. The 1st sign that this is a bad idea is that, you're here on nairaland doubting yourself. Asking if its going to work out or not. Bro, if I were u i'd just call the while thing off. She didn't tel u until u talked about ur own experience. And all this while she was getting D outside after telling u No! She still come back day tell u NO on top pussy way she don unlock? My brother! She was now asking u if she we no regret it. But she didn't think of dat wen anoda guy was laying pipe for her. Bros move on. Grow up.

cococandy:
How exactly do you imagine yourself better than her or in a position to judge her?
Please explain your thought process to me.

She didn't even have an abortion. She had a still birth. so you're judging her for having had sex before she met you meanwhile you've been a hoe about town? Explain yourself sir.

Simple comprehension is elusive to you only to be passing sentimental judgement upadan.

The guy confusion is this : This same lady that has denied him SEX for like aeon, how come she has had multiple of sex partners and even pregnant to the point of giving birth?

Now that's the riddle in the confusion state of the Op. He's not passing judgement but apprehensive of the future. Is there ANYTHING he's lacking that made his woman sexual preference to other men. What are the likely consequences in a marriage state?

Learn to respond with open mind not bias indiscretion

Op na learner sef .. he dont know how to get what he wants ... How come d girl was sharing love and u didnt recieve yours ... forget grammer it still hurts u . And i still believe the girl might have also told you all she did just to hurt and taunt you the more ... My advice is not even to you anymore its the girl ... If you eventually get married to her you would revenge .. its sounds childish but sex is a very powerful thing

Nerdg:
She told me of being pregnant and later had a stillbirth at the 7months.

The background.
I met her when we were teens and have always loved her. She refused me sex and along the line, her neighbor gave me (who is her relation). She learnt about this and we had our first break up.
We both got admission into different universities and couldn't see again.
We later met again and settled with a condition that there would be no sex. This didn't go down well with me and I called it off. This repeated and there was even a time I walked her out of my house because of this issue and didn't give her tfare. My house is like 1hr drive from where she lives.
The issue:
I love this girl to the extent that anytime I thought of getting married, she will come to mind.
Now I have a good job and she's done with school. I proposed to her and she accepted it.
Is about 3 months now, she came on my birthday 3 months ago. That was all. She doesn't come always because she stays with her elder brother and can't leave house just like that.

Note, we haven't had sex till now.

About 2 weeks ago, I told her about how I got a girl pregnant and we had to abort it and that since then I haven't been myself. That it pains me to this day. We talked about it and she was sorry over it.

Yesterday, we had a very deep discussion and she revealed to me that she had a relationship at school. They were together for 4yrs. I then asked her if she had ever missed her period. She said yes. But not to this school boyfriend but another man. She wanted to keep the pregnancy but her parents refused because the guy is not a good person. The guy wanted the pregnancy but her family didn't want the guy to marry her. She finally had a stillbirth at the 7th month.

I was stunned. I know she's not a virgin, she told me but I was confused. Sex had always been our problem and I never expected that she had experienced something like this. Now she asked me that she hope she won't regret telling me this. I told her no that she won't regret but I'm stunned.

Please should I still go on with this ?

It seems you really love the lady yet here you are asking a question you ought to ask her.
Simply ask her why she refused your sex advances despite getting it elsewhere.
Only her cam answer the question correctly and all people may do here is to postulate.

DMerciful:
The issue here is the girl said no sex to him while dating but after their breakup, she was giving several men sex! does it mean she doesnt love him enuf to have sex with him like the others after him? she came back to him insisting no sex yet she has been quite loose. U decided to pick the part where you can protect the lady...hmmmm..women liberation!
Now that he is well-to-do, its convenient for her to say yes....she is a manipulator!

Ur head dey there. U 2 much.

Maybe she wasn't ready for sex it then.

ritababe:


how? so you mean she can have sex with other guys and deny her own boyfriend sex, now when he propose she confess everything meaning she didn't love him initially before.

ritababe:


oh well from Adam she denied him of sex claiming Virgin Mary and now she just explode.
honestly if am in his shoe I wont take it lightly, we broke up many times because u don't want sex and me on the other hand think u are a Virgin that's why u don't want sex not knowing you've been doing it from my back, so why claim holy all this while?
now that she heard marriage she has started confessing.

@Ritababe.. you are a darling.

Nerdg:


Did you read the part I said all our break-ups were because she refused sex with me. Why do she do this? My problem is why we had issues because of sex and she's getting it somewhere else?

My point too. No sex before marriage usually means the lady is a virgin. But when someone have gone this far and still saying no sex before marriage, what is that based on. Has she suddenly become born again ?

zed7:
You don't love her. You are just longing for what you are yet to taste. Marriage is not a game. If you can have a sexual relationship with her before marriage and you still feel like marrying her, then go for it!

Exactly my thoughts.
The guy is just curious to taste the girl.
Worse is, if her story was true, she doesn't love the guy.

This is a case of if the desirable was not available, the available becomes desired(on the side of the girl)

The guy no get drive. Na just pu**y im wan sample.

cococandy:
How exactly do you imagine yourself better than her or in a position to judge her?
Please explain your thought process to me.

She didn't even have an abortion. She had a still birth. so you're judging her for having had sex before she met you meanwhile you've been a hoe about town? Explain yourself sir.

comprehension have eluded some people. Guy its obvious you are a back up. The lady is not naturally attracted to you. If you believe she has good character forget about being deceived, she will love you more.

DMerciful:
The issue is not about sex but the fact that she prefers other guys to him. He is obviously a last resort for her. According to Witney Houston 'where do broken hearts go? they go to a love that has always been there' thats d case here...she knows the guy has always loved her!

You don't know what she knows, you can only ASSUME.

And this is all about SEX, forget the story.

"We broke up because she didn't have sex with me, then she got pregnant and now that we're back together, she still refuses"

That's his problem . He shouldn't come here talking about stillbirth and stuff if it's the sex that's hurting him.

The tilted is even "She told me a very dark secret, should I still marry her?"

Is that REALLY his problem, from the write up? Definitely not

SirVintageCock:
She hates you for sleeping with her neighbour abi relation. That stinks, man!! To the fvcking high heavens damn it. You broke a fvcking dating code which I don't believe you've apologized for.

She is accepting you now because both of you stinks to the fourth hell. Ewww Put a ring on her finger and fvck her and be done with it, but going by what you wrote up there you won't get tired of fvcking her in fifty years.

The man she got pregnant for,did he put a ring on her finger? Abeg jawey

Nerdg:


Did you read the part I said all our break-ups were because she refused sex with me. Why do she do this? My problem is why we had issues because of sex and she's getting it somewhere else?

Maybe, she was seeing u like somebody that wanted sex from her or she knows of ur sexcapades and she doesnt wamt to fall a victim. To me,Op go on with ur marriage plan unless u have doubt.

madridguy:
From your write up I think she's trying to test you and see how you will react to her dark side too. She might as well be hurt to hear the dark side of you and maybe she cooked something up to see your reaction too.

My observation though.

on point bro . I fear this gals.. Dey have tested me wella I jump and pass

Its important u have that sex with her before u go ahead with d marriage so that you know exactly what you are paying for. You don't want surprises and she too.