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How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells - Family - Nairaland

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How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by QuestSeeker: 2:30am On Aug 17, 2017
Dear Nairalanders,

Your pieces of advice will be very much appreciated. Married members, are kindly encouraged to make their contributions.

I am a young man in my mid forties and i have been married to my dear wife for 11 years. Between us, we are blessed with wonderful children.

However, I have an history of high blood pressure which I have been managing for about 5 years now.

Sometimes, at the peak of this high BP episodes I experience excruciating headaches that makes me to groan in pain, unconsciously.

These groans are now the cause of this post. My wife has said severally that she does not understand why I groan when I'm in pains.

I had explained to her that my groaning whenever I had the pain is an unconscious act that is fuelled by the pain I felt and those groans were not to scare anybody. Actually, if I could, I would rather bear the pain without my wife or children knowing I was going through pains.

This night, we had this discussion again and she said I was the only one she knew that groaned whenever in pains. This shattered me as I feel I can't be the only one who does this.

I reminded her that women in labour often groaned in pains too but she retorted that pains from headache induced by high blood pressure cannot be compared to pains during child birth. It is not my intention to contest her assertion.

However, I honestly need to know if I'm the only one who groans when in pain, if other wives on this forum share my wife's sentiments and how would you deal with this situation as the husband in my shoes.

Medical practitioners' comments as well as the comments of people who have experienced headaches induced by high blood pressure will be appreciated.

Note, my wife is a Nairalander and I intend to let her know that I created this post. We all can learn something new everytime. Thanks.
Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by baby124: 3:10am On Aug 17, 2017
When you go for a doctors appointment, take her with you. So that she can observe and ask the doctor any questions she may have. So she understands the seriousness of the condition. Sorry. Also, try to get some BO medication to prevent all this groaning. I know people with high BP and they are on medication. I have never witnessed them in pain.

5 Likes

Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by QuestSeeker: 3:46am On Aug 17, 2017
baby124:
When you go for a doctors appointment, take her with you. So that she can observe and ask the doctor any questions she may have. So she understands the seriousness of the condition. Sorry. Also, try to get some BO medication to prevent all this groaning. I know people with high BP and they are on medication. I have never witnessed them in pain.

Thanks. Like I explained, it is not the high b.p that causes the groaning; it is the headache that comes with the b.p bout. Note, that this does not happen always but only when the headache is much.

Thanks. We have been to the clinic together. As a matter of fact, she drove me to the clinic on one of such occasions.

Thanks and God bless.
Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by Nobody: 4:04am On Aug 17, 2017
You don't need to compare your pain to anyone else's. Besides, headaches can be excruciating. Your BP must be extremely high for it to be causing these headaches, which must be really severe for u to be groaning in pain each time. U might have other problems too associated with this high BP or other problems that're contributing to ur headache. Someone like u would be a good candidate for an MRI. Your wife should be empathetic towards you. Each time you're groaning she should be feeling ur pain and comforting you, not complaining at all at all. It's not as if u are groaning intentionally.

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Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by elektra(f): 4:38am On Aug 17, 2017
Your wife is being highly insensitive (to put it lightly)
She should be worried about your HBP and headache. She should care for you any way she can during the bouts of headaches.
Does she show any concern at all?

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by QuestSeeker: 4:50am On Aug 17, 2017
elektra:
Your wife is being highly insensitive (to put it lightly)
She should be worried about your HBP and headache. She should care for you any way she can during the bouts of headaches.
Does she show any concern at all?

She has driven me to the clinic/ pharmacy on one or two occasions. But, the fact that she does not seem to acknowledge groaning comes with pain is the painful aspect.

And, it is not as if these things happen too frequently. Maybe, once in a while when I stay off my drugs and exert myself too much.
Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by QuestSeeker: 4:54am On Aug 17, 2017
WiredLeggings:
You don't need to compare your pain to anyone else's. Besides, headaches can be excruciating. Your BP must be extremely high for it to be causing these headaches, which must be really severe for u to be groaning in pain each time. U might have other problems too associated with this high BP or other problems that're contributing to ur headache. Someone like u would be a good candidate for an MRI. Your wife should be empathetic towards you. Each time you're groaning she should be feeling ur pain and comforting you, not complaining at all at all. It's not as if u are groaning intentionally.


Thanks for stopping by. I consider my wife an adorable person, even though we have little differences like most couples.

That said, I guess she doesn't understand how painful some headaches can get. On one occasion when we had this argument, I told her I wouldn't wish her or anyone to experience that kind of headache.

God bless you.
Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by EmeeNaka: 6:52am On Aug 17, 2017
WiredLeggings:
You don't need to compare your pain to anyone else's. Besides, headaches can be excruciating. Your BP must be extremely high for it to be causing these headaches, which must be really severe for u to be groaning in pain each time. U might have other problems too associated with this high BP or other problems that're contributing to ur headache. Someone like u would be a good candidate for an MRI. Your wife should be empathetic towards you. Each time you're groaning she should be feeling ur pain and comforting you, not complaining at all at all. It's not as if u are groaning intentionally.
There surely must be a co-morbid condition in his situation. What kind of HBP comes in bout, save he is reacting to his drugs.
Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by QuestSeeker: 7:35am On Aug 17, 2017
EmeeNaka:
There surely must be a co-morbid condition in his situation. What kind of HBP comes in bout, save he is reacting to his drugs.

I might have used the word 'bout' out of context. But I meant this painful headaches sometimes (not always) accompanied the high BP.

Previous medical checkups had precluded comorbodity and my doctor had told me that the occasional headaches are symptomatic of very high blood pressure.

I only experience these spikes in the blood pressure when I skip my drugs. Thanks.

All helps are highly appreciated.
Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by yomi007k(m): 8:14am On Aug 17, 2017
QuestSeeker:


I might have used the word 'bout' out of context. But I meant this painful headaches sometimes (not always) accompanied the high BP.

Previous medical checkups had precluded comorbodity and my doctor had told me that the occasional headaches are symptomatic of very high blood pressure.

I only experience these spikes in the blood pressure when I skip my drugs. Thanks.

All helps are highly appreciated.
Then dont skip your drugs
Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by teemy(m): 8:14am On Aug 17, 2017
questseeker, people find it hard to believe those they see as liars or as liars themselves do not have trust for other people's words. if the former applies to you, it is better to stop those small lies or jokes that could make wifey not believe you.
Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by Oyindidi(f): 8:18am On Aug 17, 2017
She should be worried about what you're going through not mere groan. Madam bear with him and don't make him feel like an alien cos he groans when in pains. Your husband is suffering from hbp and your constant complains can worsten it.
Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by QuestSeeker: 8:19am On Aug 17, 2017
yomi007k:

Then dont skip your drugs

Thanks. Sometimes one just wishes never to live a life where you would need to use medications everyday.
Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by QuestSeeker: 8:20am On Aug 17, 2017
Oyindidi:
She should be worried about what you're going through not mere groan. Madam bear with him and don't make him feel like an alien cos he groans when in pains. Your husband is suffering from hbp and your constant complains can worsten it.

Thanks for your thoughtful contribution.
Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by Oyindidi(f): 8:24am On Aug 17, 2017
QuestSeeker:


Thanks for your thoughtful contribution.
You're welcome sir, may God heal you ijn
Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by QuestSeeker: 8:24am On Aug 17, 2017
teemy:
questseeker, people find it hard to believe those they see as liars or as liars themselves do not have trust for other people's words. if the former applies to you, it is better to stop those small lies or jokes that could make wifey not believe you.

She is aware that the B.P issue is not a joke. Like I mentioned somewhere, she has driven me to the clinic and the pharmaceutical store on at least 2 occasions.

What she says is that she doesn't know anyone who groans when in pains. Nonetheless, thanks for your time.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by QuestSeeker: 8:26am On Aug 17, 2017
Oyindidi:
You're welcome sir, may God heal you ijn

Amen. May God bless you abundantly.
Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by maclatunji: 8:30am On Aug 17, 2017
You need to be mindful of your groaning and try to reduce it, your wife needs to be quiet about this and be supportive by knowing what to do to help manage your condition or ease the pain.

Madam, you are adding to your husband's health complications, do you understand that his condition is life-threatening?

1 Like

Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by yomi007k(m): 8:40am On Aug 17, 2017
QuestSeeker:


Thanks. Sometimes one just wishes never to live a life where you would need to use medications everyday.

Food is drugs and drugs is food.

If u want to solve this issue, use ur drugs daily and adopt other lifestyle measures.


If u continue wt d way ur thinking, u may not be happy wt d noncompliance results.
Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by QuestSeeker: 8:43am On Aug 17, 2017
maclatunji:
You need to be mindful of your groaning and try to reduce it, your wife needs to be quiet about this and be supportive by knowing what to do to help manage your condition or ease the pain.

Madam, you are adding to your husband's health complications, do you understand that his condition is life-threatening?

Thanks for the contribution. I will try as much as I can. I don't even pray to have such headaches. It is bad enough to have HBP not to talk of when it is accompanied by headache.
Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by Prognose: 8:43am On Aug 17, 2017
QuestSeeker:
Dear Nairalanders,

Your pieces of advice will be very much appreciated. Married members, are kindly encouraged to make their contributions.

I am a young man in my mid forties and i have been married to my dear wife for 11 years. Between us, we are blessed with wonderful children.

However, I have an history of high blood pressure which I have been managing for about 5 years now.

Sometimes, at the peak of this high BP episodes I experience excruciating headaches that makes me to groan in pain, unconsciously.

These groans are now the cause of this post. My wife has said severally that she does not understand why I groan when I'm in pains.

I had explained to her that my groaning whenever I had the pain is an unconscious act that is fuelled by the pain I felt and those groans were not to scare anybody. Actually, if I could, I would rather bear the pain without my wife or children knowing I was going through pains.

This night, we had this discussion again and she said I was the only one she knew that groaned whenever in pains. This shattered me as I feel I can't be the only one who does this.

I reminded her that women in labour often groaned in pains too but she retorted that pains from headache induced by high blood pressure cannot be compared to pains during child birth. It is not my intention to contest her assertion.

However, I honestly need to know if I'm the only one who groans when in pain, if other wives on this forum share my wife's sentiments and how would you deal with this situation as the husband in my shoes.

Medical practitioners' comments as well as the comments of people who have experienced headaches induced by high blood pressure will be appreciated.

Note, my wife is a Nairalander and I intend to let her know that I created this post. We all can learn something new everytime. Thanks.

Lol, be like say na your wife dey give you d bp grin

You shouldn't be having headaches if you are adhering to your antihypertensive drugs. This is not a good sign at all. Please take your medications regularly and go for your blood pressure check at least once a month. If despite taking your bp drugs your blood pressure still is not under control then I advice you change your health care provider.

Another thing you should do as a matter of urgency is a CT-scan of the brain. Persistent painful headaches may be due to a space occupying lesion or even a berry aneurysm. Both are not good news. Please do a CT-scan of the brain at least in the next two weeks after reading this message, don't delay further than that. I would have said do it immediately but it's a little costly.



Madam, tension/stress/bp headaches can be terrible! The only reason your husband is not crying instead of groaning is probably because he is trying to be macho. Please try and be understanding. I know you think he is disturbing your sleep or something but you should be more concerned about your hubby's health than annoyed. Please ensure he gets checked up it is very important.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by QuestSeeker: 8:46am On Aug 17, 2017
yomi007k:


Food is drugs and drugs is food.

If u want to solve this issue, use ur drugs daily and adopt other lifestyle measures.


If u continue wt d way ur thinking, u may not be happy wt d noncompliance results.

I appreciate your contribution and your advice is taken. Thanks and stay blessed.
Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by QuestSeeker: 8:49am On Aug 17, 2017
Prognose:


Lol, be like say na your wife dey give you d bp grin

You shouldn't be having headaches if you are adhering to your antihypertensive drugs. This is not a good sign at all. Please take your medications regularly and go for your blood pressure check at least once a month. If despite taking your bp drugs your blood pressure still is not under control then I advice you change your health care provider.

Another thing you should do as a matter of urgency is a CT-scan of the brain. Persistent painful headaches may be due to a space occupying lesion or even a berry aneurysm. Both are not good news. Please do a CT-scan of the brain at least in the next two weeks after reading this message, don't delay further than that. I would have said do it immediately but it's a little costly.



Madam, tension/stress/bp headaches can be terrible! The only reason your husband is not crying instead of groaning is probably because he is trying to be macho. Please try and be understanding. I know you think he is disturbing your sleep or something but you should be more concerned about your hubby's health than annoyed. Please ensure he gets checked up it is very important.

Thanks a million. I will work on your suggestions. Like I admitted earlier, i sometimes skip my drugs once I feel I'm okay. I am however trying to deal with that.
Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by nursennenny(f): 10:17am On Aug 17, 2017
Am a nurse and I understand how severe the pains are .Next time u go to see ur doctor ,take her along .
And then plsss stick to ur treatment regimen religiously and know when to take rest ,watch the food u eat in fact monitor all aggravating factors.
Better to prevent the pains than explain them .
Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by QuestSeeker: 10:38am On Aug 17, 2017
nursennenny:
Am a nurse and I understand how severe the pains are .Next time u go to see ur doctor ,take her along .
And then plsss stick to ur treatment regimen religiously and know when to take rest ,watch the food u eat in fact monitor all aggravating factors.
Better to prevent the pains than explain them .

Thanks nursennenny. I appreciate your contributions.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by eyinjuege: 10:43am On Aug 17, 2017
If your high blood pressure still causes you so much pain, it may not be well controlled or the bp medicines may even be causing the pains.
If your bp is not well controlled, your Dr needs to review your medicines as you're joking with a sudden stroke.
If your bp is fine, it may be a particular bp medicine causing the headaches.
The headaches may not even be related to your bp!

You could have a brain tumour for all you know, or it could just be a migraine or tension headaches.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by QuestSeeker: 10:50am On Aug 17, 2017
eyinjuege:
If yoir high blood pressure still causes you so much pain, it's either it's not well controlled or the bp medicines are causing the pains.
If your bp is not well controlled, your Dr needs to review your medicines as you're joking with a sudden stroke.
If your bp is fine, it may be a particular bp medicine causing the headaches.
The headaches may not even be related to your bp!

You could have a brain tumour for all you know, or it could just be a migraine or tension headaches.

Thanks. I intend to discuss all the issues you raised on the next visit to my doctor.

However, I have not followed the usage of drugs tenaciously as I admitted earlier. Besides, the headaches are very far between and they usually subside once I use my b.p drugs.

Thanks once again for reminding me to stick religiously to my prescriptions.
Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by obicentlis: 10:58am On Aug 17, 2017
Op, you are really at risk with this BP.

My comment now is not about your wife but about this BP, because I know how dangerous it can be.
Firstly, you should have a BP Checking Kit to always check your BP every day, Morning and Night, when you notice any changes , you rush to hospital or with Doctors advice, you should have a particular medication that you normally control it with.
N. B: BP is very dangerous . Don't give room for any chances ooo.
Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by Nobody: 10:58am On Aug 17, 2017
nursennenny:
Am a nurse and I understand how severe the pains are .Next time u go to see ur doctor ,take her along .
And then plsss stick to ur treatment regimen religiously and know when to take rest ,watch the food u eat in fact monitor all aggravating factors.
Better to prevent the pains than explain them .
I like this bolded statement. Good one.
@ op, your bp must be very high probably systolic above 180/110 to be giving you this type of headache, unless otherwise factors are responsible. If you are drink alcohol, pls stop it and take much time in worry less. Take your medicine serious too and do good follow up . all the best.
Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by QuestSeeker: 11:35am On Aug 17, 2017
priceaction:

I like this bolded statement. Good one.
@ op, your bp must be very high probably systolic above 180/110 to be giving you this type of headache, unless otherwise factors are responsible. If you are drink alcohol, pls stop it and take much time in worry less. Take your medicine serious too and do good follow up . all the best.

Thanks my brother. Much love for your time and concerns.
Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by QuestSeeker: 11:41am On Aug 17, 2017
obicentlis:
Op, you are really at risk with this BP.

My comment now is not about your wife but about this BP, because I know how dangerous it can be.
Firstly, you should have a BP Checking Kit to always check your BP every day, Morning and Night, when you notice any changes , you rush to hospital or with Doctors advice, you should have a particular medication that you normally control it with.
N. B: BP is very dangerous . Don't give room for any chances ooo.

Thanks bro. BP is indeed a silent killer. I have a digital kit and I am paying close attention to the stuff.

I urge all people above 40s to start monitoring their B.P too.

Looks like there are lot of factors that make people more predisposed to it now more than ever. Fast paced life styles, diets and other stuffs.
Re: How Do I Make My Wife Understand My Pains During My High BP Spells by Edemaya: 12:40pm On Aug 17, 2017
I pray your wife or anyone close don't have such headache!! I am a living witness, I once had headache with which I was groaning, seriously, it is very possible.

Dear wife (OP), your husband is not exaggerating, some could have pain which makes someone to groan.

OP, please take your drugs accordingly, don't skip it anymore. May God heal you.

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