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My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years - Family - Nairaland

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My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Nobody: 9:40pm On Sep 01, 2017
I've dated my fiancee from my year 1 in the university that's 9years now, she stood with me through thick and thin, never left me for ready made guys, she trusted and supported me and I promised myself no woman will make me happier than her so I proposed to marry her....

So I took her to see my parents for the first time, but I got the shock of my life when my mum rejected her at 1st sight for no particular reason her word was "my spirit just don't accept her" my dad was cool about my choice as long as I'm happy, I've been begging my mother to reconsider but she has made it clear she won't have anything to do with her or me if I go ahead and marry her.

I'm just confused,the last person I'll leave is my fiancee but my mum too is very special to me.
what should I do??


MOD please help forward this to FP

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Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by greatmarshall(m): 9:52pm On Sep 01, 2017
my brother you know what is good for you and what you want... Your mum can not choose a wife for you... Wife her man...she's been with you for nine good years through thick and thin...

273 Likes 12 Shares

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Stevengerd(m): 9:53pm On Sep 01, 2017
E get as e be ooo.. am sure u mom saw something. just tok to her bro!

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Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Nobody: 9:55pm On Sep 01, 2017
greatmarshall:
my brother you know what is good for you and what you want... Your mum can not choose a wife for you... Wife her man...she's been with you for nine good years through thick and thin...


thanks bro...I appreciate

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Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by zealblinks(m): 9:55pm On Sep 01, 2017
this one strong gan.... put God first on this issue pray to God... go and meet her family I mean your mom or her pastor explain everything to them and how the lady mean to you. make them help you talk to her. I hope she go change....

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Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by YungRichG1: 9:55pm On Sep 01, 2017
Iya ni wura........i rest my case.

3 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Lewaluv(f): 9:57pm On Sep 01, 2017
Ignore your mother.

87 Likes 5 Shares

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Nobody: 9:58pm On Sep 01, 2017
Stevengerd:
E get as e be ooo.. am sure u mom saw something. just tok to her bro!



I've been asking her for days now....she wouldn't say anything
Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Learnstuffs: 9:59pm On Sep 01, 2017
Your mum should not decide your life. The worst is that she don't even have tangible reasons for her objections.

164 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Nobody: 9:59pm On Sep 01, 2017
zealblinks:
this one strong gan.... put God first on this issue pray to God... and go and meet her family I mean your mom or her pastor explain everything to them and how the lady mean to you. make them help you talk to her. I hope she go chance....



So many ppl have talked to her but she wouldn't bulge
Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Stevengerd(m): 10:01pm On Sep 01, 2017
Passy089:




I've been asking her for days now....she wouldn't say anything
Haa! Is she the churchy type?

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Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by chukagates(m): 10:02pm On Sep 01, 2017
Lewaluv:
Ignore your mother.
am not surprised i knew a lady will say what u jst said ...no be una again?? pple wy dey find man wey im mama don die..

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Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Nobody: 10:03pm On Sep 01, 2017
Stevengerd:
Haa! Is she the churchy type?


Not really...we re catholics

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Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Stevengerd(m): 10:06pm On Sep 01, 2017
Passy089:



Not really...we re catholics
Bt bro still tok to her about it

3 Likes

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by BlackDBagba: 10:08pm On Sep 01, 2017
I'm coming

1 Like

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by mofeoluwadassah: 10:09pm On Sep 01, 2017
you dated her for nine years and you have not for one day taken her to your house? then it means you dont love her

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Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Divay22(f): 10:14pm On Sep 01, 2017
Ask your dad to talk to her...

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Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Nobody: 10:21pm On Sep 01, 2017
Dont make me insult u... Are u one of those mummy boys... Ur mother cant choose a woman for u neither can she dictate for u without a logical reason. My frien, as long as am concern u have no problem abeg

56 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by gratefulheart(m): 10:26pm On Sep 01, 2017
Do mind the people that asked. You to ignore your mum o if you want to be happy and you want it to be well with you and your marriage.

Pray about it and tell you Dad to talk to her or any of her closed sister.

12 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by EmyLeo(m): 10:32pm On Sep 01, 2017
this situation is really tight bro,


##mehnn, just try and talk to your mum, don't do it alone, use your dad or any of your siblings that your mum loves too, at least even if she doesn't want you to marry the girl, you deserve to know why...


###PS: Make sure you don't marry to satisfy anyone apart from you, yourself and yourself..I pray God will help you to touch your mum's heart..

24 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Tapout(m): 10:36pm On Sep 01, 2017
mofeoluwadassah:
you dated her for nine years and you have not for one day taken her to your house?

the thing weak me join o... No be small thing

23 Likes

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Olanrefront3355(m): 10:38pm On Sep 01, 2017
greatmarshall:
my brother you know what is good for you and what you want... Your mum can not choose a wife for you... Wife her man...she's been with you for nine good years through thick and thin...

Op If you actually follow this, Ure dull, sorry.

So dude told u ur gals has been thr for 9yrs, so u offend ur mum cos of her, what abt ur mum that has been thr for 20+ yrs? Ao old d fvck are u sef?

I'm not against marrying her, Buh be sure ur parent approves... Keep begging ur Mum.

And if I were you, I'd wear dis Sad look all around d house like I'm dying, no 'Good' mother will ignore that.


Thank you.

57 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by zealblinks(m): 11:11pm On Sep 01, 2017
Passy089:




So many ppl have talked to her but she wouldn't bulge
it will be very hard to go on with your partner without your mom's permission because she sees something in that lady.
tell your partner to give u a month space And see maybe your mom would tell you the reason why she hate your partner...
something is wrong somewhere..

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Next2Bezee(m): 11:23pm On Sep 01, 2017
Spirit? Please don't lose a woman whose supported you for 9 years because your mother's 'spirit' does not agree with your woman.

18 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by sobastical: 11:39pm On Sep 01, 2017
mofeoluwadassah:
you dated her for nine years and you have not for one day taken her to your house?

This is a very valid point

this is were he missed it...at least he should have let her be familiar and acquainted with his family even without saying she's your wife to be yet that would have given then a prior notice before time. It's one issue I had with someone in time past and some always want a complicated and never disclose relationship maybe cos there's someone else that do come to their home

@Op just pray and tell people older than your mum to talk to her on your behalf.

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Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by OkunrinMeta: 11:42pm On Sep 01, 2017
Which kind of woman is your mum. Is she intuitive or is she the type that likes drama. You may have known your babe for 9 years buts you've known your mum for thrice as long.

So this is not a decision about your fiance persey. Its about whether you trust your mum's instincts or judgement. For example, if i want to marry someone and my mum says no, i will just find a way to manage the drama and still go ahead. However, if my dad says no, i will have reevaluate and reconsider to be sure i am accurate in my assessment. At the end, it is YOUR decision

Just think deep, you know the answer you are looking for.

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Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Olami90: 12:25am On Sep 02, 2017
I will implore you to be a bit more patient.
Whatever patience can't solve would be grounded.

Op, I personally hate when an individual is rejecting/condemning something without proffering solution or alternative or close substitute.


You can't be totally angry with your mum.
Ask her to give you close substitute/alternative if she doesn't want your choice for you or come out clear why she is against it (this is to make her realise she is going extreme, just to tease her because I won't accept such too).
Ensure you exhaust all options and carry people she respect along.

If it is not working, stay away from the family house for a long time. Till they care about your whereabout. By then, they will know you mean business to defend your choice/woman no matter what.

The waiting will eventually worth it. You may have more revelations during the waiting period.

In all, be prayerful. God owns everyone's heart and can control it how he likes. He can humble her.

7 Likes

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Deefuray(f): 12:39am On Sep 02, 2017
You love your fiancee...


She has shown you what a good woman is and should be like...


your mom isn't giving any cogent reason why two of you shouldn't be together


Your dad is cool with her(one out of two)

Marry that girl, you are old enough to make decisions for yourself, your mom will come around

13 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by greencard: 12:57am On Sep 02, 2017
Sorry to ask pls, what kind of woman is ur mum..i mean her temperament, is she the pushy type ..intuition savvy, or spiritual woman?

I'm asking this because I need those fact to analyze her reasons ..since u said she show disapproval on sight...she may have her cogent reasons

On another note if u believe in spiritual gifts on visions u may contact a trusted prophet or pastor..although this days fake don cast the good ones but if u can u may seeek help on ur partner personality

Until then keep begging your mum till her hrt softens

4 Likes

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by Vikky014(f): 1:12am On Sep 02, 2017
mofeoluwadassah:
you dated her for nine years and you have not for one day taken her to your house?
I tire ooo

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Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by IamEmem(m): 3:50am On Sep 02, 2017
OP u mean u dated a girl for 9 years and never took her home to meet ur family!! You are the architect of ur troubles now, I only pity the poor lady who stood by you and u must marry her cos her world is built around you. Just find a way to persuade ur mum cos u need her now than never before.
Goodluck.

19 Likes

Re: My Mother Rejected My Fiancee After Dating For 9 Years by mofeoluwadassah: 4:03am On Sep 02, 2017
sobastical:


This is a very valid point

this is were he missed it...at least he should have let her be familiar and acquainted with his family even without saying she's your wife to be yet that would have given then a prior notice before time. It's one issue I had with someone in time past and some always want a complicated and never disclose relationship maybe cos there's someone else that do come to their home

@Op just pray and tell people older than your mum to talk to her on your behalf.
it means he never loved her....cos if he does he would av taken her home b4 now

6 Likes 1 Share

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