This one is not small wedding, it is not a wedding sef. It is exchange of vows. There is nothing wrong in it.

cochtrane:

Isn't it quite neat that though you feel others shouldn't use this to judge a good wife material, you can conveniently judge the man's pocket by being "disturbed about how a man who organises such wedding for your sister would be able to take care of your sister"?

Bro, I'm a realist and let's be real. If someone is coming to marry your sister and can't afford to do things the way it should be, and all he can give you guys is doughnuts and zobo, wouldn't you be worried? I'm not saying his fortunes cannot change later in life but the truth is that, I'd be very very disturbed. Nigeria of today is hard and we are all struggling. The last thing anybody wants, is to allow his/her child or sibling to suffer. I'd rather want them to wait till things pick up, rather than stress themselves... Anytime I'm broke and cash strapped, I know how depressing I get when I can't meet up needs at that moment. Not to talk of people who are married.

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I think I should lean from that

chronique:
Nobody truthfully wants to wed this way; let us tell ourselves the truth sometimes. If they had the money, they would have done like every other person. I must commend them for their courage to damn what anybody says, and do this but this sole act should not be used as a yardstick to judge everybody, neither should it be the benchmark for testing if a lady is loyal or a wife material. We don't get married everyday. My younger sister got married recently and everyone was happy cos the wedding was lit! Yeah, it costs some good millions and I felt proud and was happy it went that way. It was classy and what every bride would want... Years down the line, she and her hubby would look back and still be proud of themselves. Banky and Adesuwa just had theirs and we're all talking about it. Years to come, they would look at themselves and be proud of what they did.

If you have the means, go for what you want and make your wedding as classy and lit as it can be. Weddings don't happen everyday. The harsh reality is that if my sister wants to do this kind of wedding, I don't know if I'd ever be a party to it cos I'd be disturbed about how the man in question would be able to take care of her. We all wanna be happy. Brides wanna be happy on their wedding day... The fact that there are leeches everywhere, doesn't mean we should use poverty as a standard for judging a good wife material. If I want to get married, I'd love it to be as lit as it can.

Moreover, the fact that they got married like this, doesn't mean they would not break up if devil surfaces in their union. Poverty and lack of money, destroys so many homes and that's why it is good for one to be financially ok to a reasonable extent before getting married.

It doesn't have to be poverty. The way I plan to do mine is to have a good enough trad, then go for church blessings. No cliché "white wedding." Different strokes for different folks.

chronique:


It did not crash because it was big and celebrated. It crashed due to other factors. I don't like when people start saying "Malta guiness is bitter" just because they can't afford it.

Mr. too know
Did I give the reason

idu1:
You are like wedding and you like to show off and you are indirectly saying people that have low key wedding are broke....

No. I'm not saying people who have low key weddings are broke. I have noticed that a lot of guys are gradually trying to set the standard for judging a good wife material, by the level of poverty and struggle they can take with a man. But that is absolutely not correct cos people have been raised with different standards and it isn't very easy to cope. It would be unfair to every lady out there, to judge her loyalty and virtue by the level of financial struggle she can take. I have been in a position where an ex politely told me she couldn't marry someone who isn't financially ok cos she's not sure she can cope with struggling as she would get depressed. I understood her very well cos I'd known her for a lot of years and her dad was well to do. Of course, my own dad was doing well then. But at the time we had this discussion, I didn't have a job or business that could provide steady income. All I had was my dreams and of course, she couldn't wait. I reasoned well with her and today, we are still good friends despite the fact that she is married. As a matter of fact, I'm currently chatting with her.

People who do low key weddings, do what is supposed to be done in a small way without noise. What we have in this picture up there, isn't a low key wedding. They basically took the risk of getting married like that despite not having. Like I said, I admire their courage but nobody should use it as a standard to judge good women. If a lady refuses such from her fiance, he shouldn't take it that it means she isn't a good wife material.

ArmadillopgpA:
Nigerians sha,those in attendance go dey talk am for their mind"OLOSHI LAWON ELEYI SHA ESHA SHELEYI TEMA SHE KEMA KO ORIBURUKU YIN LO JARE"

at the end of the day Iran awon eke l'oju ma ti

Donald7610:

Mr. too know
Did I give the reason

Sorry.

PrimadonnaO:


It doesn't have to be poverty. The way I plan to do mine is to have a good enough trad, then go for church blessings. No cliché "white wedding." Different strokes for different folks.

That's fair enough.

yhemster:

When the realities of a family life kicks in, the last thing couples remember is how big/small/flamboyant wass their wedding.

Well, I haven't been married and as such, I can't argue with you. But personally, I'd love something that I can always look back to, smile about it, and be happy about it.

but why marry when you are not financially capable/bouyant

I love and envy their courage. I appreciate their sincerity.
They saw the reality and they are not living a fake life
They did not put themselves in debt because of a day wedding
and use first 3 years of marriage to pay debt
God bless your union in Jesus Name.

fake news, this is just a pics from a drama rehearsal, how wedding program go be like this? we aren't all mumu nah. guys wise up pls.

chronique:



Bro, I'm a realist and let's be real. If someone is coming to marry your sister and can't afford to do things the way it should be, and all he can give you guys is doughnuts and zobo, wouldn't you be worried? I'm not saying his fortunes cannot change later in life but the truth is that, I'd be very very disturbed. Nigeria of today is hard and we are all struggling. The last thing anybody wants, is to allow his/her child or sibling to suffer. I'd rather want them to wait till things pick up, rather than stress themselves... Anytime I'm broke and cash strapped, I know how depressing I get when I can't meet up needs at that moment. Not to talk of people who are married.

If someone wants your sister's hand in marriage, examine the person's head and heart, not his pocket.

FlySly05:
If you can afford, go for it. But if not just don't do something that will make you lose sleep for months after the wedding. The wedding itself is just a one day event, be focused on the marriage, it's a life term contract

Only a blind person will call marriage a contract. Marriage is not a contract. It is a covenant

nairamaniac:

U lack education.
U never heard of the word sarcasm?

ur comment does not sound like sarcasm especially the Musa example u gave

chronique:



No. I'm not saying people who have low key weddings are broke. I have noticed that a lot of guys are gradually trying to set the standard for judging a good wife material, by the level of poverty and struggle they can take with a man. But that is absolutely not correct cos people have been raised with different standards and it isn't very easy to cope. It would be unfair to every lady out there, to judge her loyalty and virtue by the level of financial struggle she can take. I have been in a position where an ex politely told me she couldn't marry someone who isn't financially ok cos she's not sure she can cope with struggling as she would get depressed. I understood her very well cos I'd known her for a lot of years and her dad was well to do. Of course, my own dad was doing well then. But at the time we had this discussion, I didn't have a job or business that could provide steady income. All I had was my dreams and of course, she couldn't wait. I reasoned well with her and today, we are still good friends despite the fact that she is married. As a matter of fact, I'm currently chatting with her.

People who do low key weddings, do what is supposed to be done in a small way without noise. What we have in this picture up there, isn't a low key wedding. They basically took the risk of getting married like that despite not having. Like I said, I admire their courage but nobody should use it as a standard to judge good women. If a lady refuses such from her fiance, he shouldn't take it that it means she isn't a good wife material.

don't mind those low mentality Nigerians.... Agbani dare got married to a man from one of the richest families in Nigeria, nobody knew... She only invited 35 ppl

cochtrane:

If someone wants your sister's hand in marriage, examine the person's head and heart, not his pocket.

It's a total package. You don't leave one out for the other. There is the level of "I don't have much" that everyone can take.

martineverest:
don't mind those low mentality Nigerians.... Agbani dare got married to a man from one of the richest families in Nigeria, nobody knew... She only invited 35 ppl

Exactly. That is a true example of low key.

livingg:
Let Weddings Be Done With In Our Power

And yesterday I had an awesome experience at Church, a couple got married during church service. No wedding gown, no Cake, rice, wine, chicken, soft drinks or chinchin.... We drank Kunu zaki, ate doughnut and licked sweets. Yet the atmosphere was filled with joy and happiness, we praised God and danced With all excitement. The bride was even more excited than the groom and I saw her as the strongest among the two.
The lessons learnt are as follows:
1. Tell yourself the truth.
2. Cut your coat according to your shirt
3. Do not compare yourself with others; weddings are not competitions.
4. Ladies let's be like today's bride; lets be understanding; we should be contented with the love and efforts of our men and not push them into debt.
5. Most young men are not married today, not because they cannot afford to provide the woman with her day to day upkeep but because they cannot afford a wedding.
6. A simple wedding like this is far more honourable than 'zo mu zauna'.
7. Let us stop this wedding ceremony palavas and make life easy for ourselves.
P.S: I am not against glamorous weddings; all I say is let all be done within our power. #selah#

Source: I was there live

Now that's a serious couple who know what life is, they will build, not like tonto and her squad of home breakers, and as for the man he should never forget the sacrifice she made for him, he should make it up to her when things look up and life is better

chronique:


Exactly. That is a true example of low key.

most Nigerians belive low key wedding is poverty /greed

NICE ONE SHA

There is option for blessing of marriage, it used to be common when I was alot younger, I don't see why this is strange to some people

martineverest:
ur comment does not sound like sarcasm especially the Musa example u gave

Mumuni? U mean?


Well moral to my story is that even the low budget weddings do not guarantee long happy marriage.

Your man gave example with tai solarin and I gave mine with iya basira and papa mumuni.

Truth I'd reason why most of you men are scared of having fun-filled days that may turnout to become elaborate/extravagant is because you are scared of expectations that may follow it.

Scared of having elaborate weddings cause your wife would expect same standard of living for the rest of ur lives after the wedding.

Scared of buying her expensive gift (occasionally/when due) cause it may spoil her like a kid.

Do you now see that the psychological problem Is in man's head.

To me, nothing stops a man from reverting to his own average life with his wife&,family after such a loud occasion.

If her family & friends puts pressure on your wife to maintain the safe lifestyle as the wedding portrayed, AND THEY SUCCEED, then you the man should be blamed.

Guys, marriage is like a dance. Go with the flow. Don't go into it expecting/planning to maintain one particular standard/living.
Be a man and be the DJ all thru.
Be in charge of your wife.
Make her love you enough to agree with you even if it doesn't favour her.
A wise man would see all the signs in a loyal-woman before getting married to her.
A wise man would know the one he could take to the best place in the world and give her garri to soak, but she would still stay happy & faithful.
Why? Because she loves him, she trust him. He's her friend and her king. He is the only captain on her ship.

Cause end of the day, its you, your wife and children.

emeijeh:
Question is
:Will the average Nigerian girl agree to do this kind of wedding?



We all know the answer

Who is the 'all' that know the answer? Ask yourself, will the average Nigerian man agree to do this kind of wedding? Or will he be worried and ashamed that his colleagues, friends, family, in-laws and enemies sef, will think he is 'poor, cheap, never-make-am' and all that crap? I am sick of the way you guys especially in Nairaland keep dumping on Nigerian women when you're no better. Humans can never be a homogenous group, because we have different characters, habits, likes and dislikes and all other things that help to shape us into the people we become. If you guys really detest Nigerian girls, that's your call. You have a right to your choice. Look for a foreigner and marry since y'all are perfect, foreign women are perfect and we are beneath you. But the next time any foreigner calls all Nigerian men violent, scammers, thieves, promiscuous, irresponsible, liars and bad marriage material, like they have recently been doing (a lot), please don't expect your countrywomen to support you since we're so bad! ("hoes ain't loyal, right"?)
Ok rant over. Thanks for listening.

[quote author=Gluhbirne post=62546671]I'm all for simple weddings, but I know everyone's different sha.[/quoted]

You know.... bankyw and his wife said the same right? but ended up doing the opposite!!!

ImaIma1:
I feel smaller weddings are more classy.
People just like to show off and want people to keep talking about how lit their wedding was. When you are the type that cares a lot about what people think or what they say, you will definitely do more than your level.

This is it.... you ladies always will end up pushing ur men to make it BIG!!!

chronique:



Bro, I'm a realist and let's be real. If someone is coming to marry your sister and can't afford to do things the way it should be, and all he can give you guys is doughnuts and zobo, wouldn't you be worried? I'm not saying his fortunes cannot change later in life but the truth is that, I'd be very very disturbed. Nigeria of today is hard and we are all struggling. The last thing anybody wants, is to allow his/her child or sibling to suffer. I'd rather want them to wait till things pick up, rather than stress themselves... Anytime I'm broke and cash strapped, I know how depressing I get when I can't meet up needs at that moment. Not to talk of people who are married.

What's suffering?

We have classes... and many people find it easy surviving within their class...Many people have it all but are still suffering..emotionally or mentally...

Somewhere in Delta state, there is a family that have nothing except farming for people but send their kids to school and feed's three times a day!!

If your siblings end up with a man who plans his life very well...she'll enjoy him...

Wedding don't happen every day. After d wedding ceremony, every other year becomes anniversary.
So do wat makes u happy forever.
Personally I would love a nice wedding dress because I will only get to wear it once
But I admire their courage.

chronique:
Bro, I'm a realist and let's be real. If someone is coming to marry your sister and can't afford to do things the way it should be, and all he can give you guys is doughnuts and zobo, wouldn't you be worried? I'm not saying his fortunes cannot change later in life but the truth is that, I'd be very very disturbed. Nigeria of today is hard and we are all struggling. The last thing anybody wants, is to allow his/her child or sibling to suffer. I'd rather want them to wait till things pick up, rather than stress themselves... Anytime I'm broke and cash strapped, I know how depressing I get when I can't meet up needs at that moment. Not to talk of people who are married.

We are struggling because we overreaching ourselves with unnecessary flexing to impress neighbours who are just as nonetity as we are compared to those who MAKE the things we flex with.
We are our own worst enemies.


www.nairaland.com/attachments/4207170_fbimg1469018943096_jpeg2e87af2b28b00dc62a4dbf71ba6f4cf7


www.nairaland.com/attachments/4160987_image_jpeg_jpeg6f95b5e7a24ad4fc0808d6698fd37362

Gluhbirne:
I'm all for simple weddings, but I know everyone's different sha.

Hmmmm, Banky W and Adesuwa said similar things oh but.......