report to her family immediately,thereafter move your family to your new location if you still love your wife and family.,if you dont have money pls go and borrow,please never ever use food money to settle scores even if you catch her red handed.

if not properly handled you can loose your children.my 7.years baby reports everything seen,heard or inferred when i go out hustling.

women are fickle and conniving. they would turn your children against you.talking based on 7years marriage experience and 2years of joblessness.this are the period a man really knows the wife she married

This is beyond you now, it is obvious you can't handle the situation again.
It's time you involve her parents and maybe yours. They are all need to be aware to prevent stories that touches.
Please help save Anu...
https://www.nairaland.com/4239439/please-save-sisters-life/1

You're right, i remember the post. Not up to six months

AnodaIT:
One guy was telling us how his married neighbor always come and do beverages for him and she likes taking things from his fridge which of course he has no issue

He asked whether to make a move since she was already giving him all the green signs
Mind you, this was 6 months ago here on nairaland

So people still marry in this generation? Marriage was for the days of chauvinism!

xtivin:
You have no business with the guy @ o.p, the problem is between you and your wife, you probably have not corrected your wife in love. Women are very weak and they could lack reasoning most times, as a man come to their level by becoming weak also and try to make things work. She might not be cheating but am very sure you did not handle this issue well from the beginning.Of a truth, her attitude is annoying, call her and apologize if you have spoken rudely she will reason with you and listen let her know the guy is the problem in your marriage and try to be a fool even when you are not one all for your children and for your own self because the christ forbids divorce.

Abeg, no be by force. Marriage doesn't have to be a PRISON. I wonder what he's even gaining from it, that he'll have to be acting foolish and slaving himself just to preserve it. That doesn't make any sense.

His wife doesn't work. He's the one fending for her and the children. She flirts around with some bloke nextdoor (and probably has been fücked by that nigga). He probably has a dream for his own life, a goal in which he seeks fulfilment, yet he stresses himself to cater for a parasite, who still HURTS him despite that, and you're asking him to keep the marriage by all means?

Makes zero sense. Of what value is it? Why should he make that the most important thing in his life?

If it doesn't work, it doesn't work! Why man go stress himself for nothing. It's completely meaningless. Any woman who tries this with me is gone. That's the end.

One can't be struggling with life and still be struggling to keep a marriage. Life shouldn't be that hard. It's not compulsory.

alfredo4u:

Im a father of two......my daughter is four this while my son is one...

DNA DNA DNA
Pls do this

Jibbie28:
1) Is your wife working? If no you are starving her already which is not fair
2) dropping money for provision in your neigbours place is totally out of it....you are subjecting your wife to ridicule. She is a mother and knows what the children wants.
3) since you are ok now, relocate your family to your side since distance is part of your problem.
God will save your HOME....

A cheating wife will always be a cheating wife no matter what the husband provide to her she will still miss behave

The only solution to this is..... Try and relocate u wife and kids to the location u working now . When married couples live apart because of some kind of job it's always dangerous. The home gets divided and the children suffer the more.
It will be some nice excitement for ur kids relocating to ur new place of work. It's part of education in another form, the get to learn new cultures and make new friends whom in turn may be great friends of the future.
Also if u want ur children to be well disciplined the better be close to u cos a mother can hardly train a child alone. Sometimes the presence of the father in house alone keep the kids cool headed.

alfredo4u:


Sincerely is not everything I will say here. I have gone through a lot just because of both of them. More than two neighbours have complained about two of them to me. If not for the sake of God and because divorce is not encouraged in my place i would have divorce her now that God have bless me.

Please bro,

I advice that you separate from the woman (yes, divorce her) and move on... Else you are heading to your grave

Never compromise your future with a promiscuous and uncontrollable woman.

Sir, I'll try and be brief as well - Life is damn to short to be unhappy or be held down by low lifers; with all what you'd narrated here, i see her as a kinda lady that doesn't need to be corrected due to her egocentric nature. It's evident she relishes the guy's company more than her marriage - more than you as well. If i were to advise my elder bro as well; this is what I'm gonna tell him... Those precious kids future are very important; relocate your kids to your place or your parents' before they stumble upon what they ain't mature to see yet someday, then channel that energy you've been wasting thinking about how your marriage gon' reform towards achieving more better goals than you've achieved already - let that your so-called wife enjoy her God forsaken company/ fling and lets see who laughs last... Shalom.

Bro, take a day or two off work, go home send that adulterous woman packing. What rubbish? Did you say she's your wife?

She should go and live that useless life of hers elsewhere

Proudlyngwa:
Sorry but, you are not acting like a man but a wussy, you are not married but in a civil partnership with kids, the day your wife told you she has her life to live was the day it ended for both of you.

Its high time you make destiny changing decisions

My brother, I don't know why some men would want to die on top of woman matter

Bro, take a day or two off work, go home send that adulterous woman packing. What rubbish? Did you say she's your wife?

She should go and live that useless life of hers elsewhere.

If you decide to stay on, bro I can assure you that you will die young thinking of all the rubbish she may have done with that guy.

Yes I said it, your wife is cheating. What baffles me more is the confidence with which she confronts you with it.

nairaland always gives me 1001 reasons not to marry.... if marriage will temper with my happiness..... seriously I won't think about it.... can't trade my peace of mind and happiness for anything else..... mbanu

filuka:
DON'T MISS IT

How much?

@op I will make this brief....Just place Magun on her....Thank me later. #begood

TonyeBarcanista:

My brother, I don't know why some men would want to die on top of woman matter

I wonder if some men have testicles,
This idea of equality in marriage is a scam, marriage is meant to compliment each other, not cancel out the other person, Heaven knows ,I will never mistake infatuation for love.

CaptainJeffry:
This case is delicate and requires maturity when handling. By your actions, you have simply pushed your wife into the arms of that dude.

his wife was more than willing and ready to go into the man's arms. She didn't need any push from her husband, all she needed was the freedom she seems to have gotten now!

Aren't there good wives anymore??

Where do these ones come from?

I dont understand o

Freeman59:
Bro, take a day or two off work, go home send that adulterous woman packing. What rubbish? Did you say she's your wife?

She should go and live that useless life of hers elsewhere.

If you decide to stay on, bro I can assure you that you will die young thinking of all the rubbish she may have done with that guy.

Yes I said it, your wife is cheating. What baffles me more is the confidence with which she confronts you with it.

This is the simple truth.

Bros, I understand your predicament and feel for you. It is most unfortunate. Way forward: relocate your family to your new location, this is the very first thing you should do. A woman's infatuation is difficult frustrating to deal with. Talk to her heart to heart. This one no be by gra gra oh. Otherwise you will loose her completely unless you don't mind. Remember if black fly perches on your abunna na cwondastanding you go take slap am commot.

hopeforcharles:
Sincerely speaking I wonder if some women actually think at all, because It baffles me how you are married and still yet can openly disrespect your husband like this, I know all the talks about been partners and not a kid but this woman's attitude towards her husband request is not it,
Report her to your Spiritual head and her parents also tell the guy you don't want him around your wife and if she refuses then it's obvious she is cheating on you just look for ways to relocate them to your new location or outrightly suspend her
It seems she has forgotten that they are the reason why you are out there looking for a work, a way to better their life.

Very baffling
So careless and immature

Op, I've been in a similar situation, the painful aspect is the audacity with which your wife is carrying on, as if you don't have a say in her life. She's your wife and you must stamp your authority. She either obeys you or leave. There can't be 2 captains in a ship. Don't be surprised that someone close to her e.g her mum, sister or friend is/are the ones encouraging her. By the time you give her the expulsion option, she'll come back to her senses. Remember the only action that warrants divorce from the Bible is Adultery.

alfredo4u:
I will try and make it brief...few month before I got my new job that took me out of my former location. During that period, I do all I can to make sure me and my family feed well and manage the way we can.

During that period, there is this guy in my neighborhood that my wife always confide in, at times she goes to his place to collect whatsoever she want in the guys fridge to eat. Which I warned her to stop doing and always manage what we have in the house with the children.

One night around 10:30pm, I caught her carrying things in her hand coming from the guys room, with that annoyance I slapped/kick her not minding the same guy coming at her back. Although, me and this guy do help each other whenever we do need each others help.

After that incident, I seriously warned her to stop entering any single guys apartment and to stop allowing guys into my apartment whenever I'm not around.

Just last two weeks, I called her around 10pm to wish her a wonderful night rest, during that call, I heard a voice in the background, I ask her who was that, only for her to tell me is the guy I asked her to stop entering my place whenever am not around. That he is watching match in my parlour. Immediately I banged the call.

The next morning, I called her and was correcting her of what she did, I asked her just one question 'what did she think the neighbours will say if they see him coming out of my place by that time of the night?......She started nagging on the phone and said she have her life to live, and I have mine and I can't stop her from the way she live her life....I now reminded her that I'm her husband and she should live to my expectations and abide by my rules, she said never. With that annoyance, I told her I will never send her feeding allowance to her again, that whenever she needs the children food, she should go to the supermarket across and collect their food. Although I do deposit cash for the children provisions up front.

Since that day, I stopped calling her and she never calls. Right now, I'm thinking of pulling my children away from her before she will corrupt the children.

House, pls kindly advise......pls if you don't have any useful advise, pls jump and pass ohhhhh. No insults pls

Simple solution.

Lace her with Climb and gum! May be available in Kenya.

Or better, magun.

/

agbarisocket:
i swear if na me that guy go die with that my woman because i go lace her with powerful MAGUN thunderbolt

Oshey! Powerful one!! Haven't you heard of anti-MAGUN? I was like... wtf the day I heard it exists!!! Still in doubt though.

Proudlyngwa:


I wonder if some men have testicles,
This idea of equality in marriage is a scam, marriage is meant to compliment each other, not cancel out the other person, Heaven knows ,I will never mistake infatuation for love.

Lol my brother, I wonder sef o...

alfredo4u:
I will try and make it brief...few month before I got my new job that took me out of my former location. During that period, I do all I can to make sure me and my family feed well and manage the way we can.

During that period, there is this guy in my neighborhood that my wife always confide in, at times she goes to his place to collect whatsoever she want in the guys fridge to eat. Which I warned her to stop doing and always manage what we have in the house with the children.

One night around 10:30pm, I caught her carrying things in her hand coming from the guys room, with that annoyance I slapped/kick her not minding the same guy coming at her back. Although, me and this guy do help each other whenever we do need each others help.

After that incident, I seriously warned her to stop entering any single guys apartment and to stop allowing guys into my apartment whenever I'm not around.

Just last two weeks, I called her around 10pm to wish her a wonderful night rest, during that call, I heard a voice in the background, I ask her who was that, only for her to tell me is the guy I asked her to stop entering my place whenever am not around. That he is watching match in my parlour. Immediately I banged the call.

The next morning, I called her and was correcting her of what she did, I asked her just one question 'what did she think the neighbours will say if they see him coming out of my place by that time of the night?......She started nagging on the phone and said she have her life to live, and I have mine and I can't stop her from the way she live her life....I now reminded her that I'm her husband and she should live to my expectations and abide by my rules, she said never. With that annoyance, I told her I will never send her feeding allowance to her again, that whenever she needs the children food, she should go to the supermarket across and collect their food. Although I do deposit cash for the children provisions up front.

Since that day, I stopped calling her and she never calls. Right now, I'm thinking of pulling my children away from her before she will corrupt the children.

House, pls kindly advise......pls if you don't have any useful advise, pls jump and pass ohhhhh. No insults pls

Hmmmmm.... Bros this ur story make belle turn me n also make me feel really bad for u n angry at the same time.... N if I can feel all this I can't begin to imagine how u feel. The bitter truth is this your wife is already having a romantic affair with the guy in other words they are already having sex.... Because from Wat u wrote it's obvious, n it's like she is more attached to the guy than u.... N she is willing to let u go for him.... That's the reason she has not bother calling u ...n that's the reason she doesn't careif the neighbors see them together or not... As I am typing this sef I dey vex for ur wife abeg make I stop here

Ganjafama:
That guy is already fvcking your wife and you are here saying this. I hate saying this but you have moral standing to divorce that woman. She has no iota of respect for your manhood. Take your kids to mum or sister and send the idiot away.

take your kids how ? Their kids not his ! When will you guys learn that women now have rights and you can’t take kids away like your wife has no right to her own kids ?

First go for parternity check to ascerain d two kids na ur own to start with, after dat u gats call off dat marriage coz d fire is dead already before one of go kill d other

Donald3d:
Not again , person come dey fear to marry na , una wey don marry just dey make person fear everyday .Shey I go marry like this sha ,chei
Anyway.....
Situations like this to be honest would be very hard to solve(she is unwilling to do anything about it) , this is why you should always make it clear the things you like and the things you dont like before marrrying your partner .

Your madam was very very very very wrong on all levels ,
1.She is not supposed to go to a single guys room and vice versa
2.She is not supposed to collect anything from him , You should be the one to go to him if your family needs his assistance.
3.The height of it is her inivting him to your house at night to watch match by 10pm !!!!, like what the ....

Now to your own part
-If she has not always being like this, then something is wrong , and its at the foundation
-How often do you and your wife do things together ?, because from the look of things , if you observe critically and psychologically , its not just about collecting things from him , and she also might not be cheating on you, the koko here is SHE ENJOYS HIS COMPANY.Thats why she finds it hard to stop .
-Is your wife your best friend ? , how do you correct her when she is wrong (by shouting or in a loving manner)
-How well do you tell her sweet words and comment on her beauty
-How well do you give her time just to listen to her
-I know its hard creating time for all these with work and everything but you have to try .
-Women love someone who makes them feel safe and alive, someone who listens to their fears and worries and anything they have to say -Be her friend !
-Have a heart to heart talk with her, tell her calmly why what she is doing is wrong .
-Never stop telling her you love her , even when you are angry with her
-Try and get her busy , so she would have less time to even think he exists
-Bring back respect into your home , not just her respecting you , but you also respecting her .She has obviously lost respect for you
-Above all while you take actions talk to God about everything .

Act fast , because that guy na sharp guy, he knows where you are lacking and he is capitalizing on it , thats the advantage side chicks and side guys always have over the main partner "filling the empty spaces"

No matter what you do ,use wisdom and be calm and loving about it
God bless your marriage


MODIFIED : Women please stop assuming your husband would automatically know what you are thinking or feeling , talk to him if you feel he is not doing something right , not all men are mind readers biko, sometimes he honestly has no clue what you need until you open up,same goes for men too

Abeg make una check my signature

hello. this is the studyprofessor guy. can we have a chat? do u still ve my number?