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9Ebisco:
BBNaija: I'm In Love With Denrele Edun -- Alex Reveals


Alex who is a housemate in the ongoing big brother Nigerian has spoken out on people that inspire her and those that are disappointing.

During a honest question and answer session last night in the house, when asked if anyone inspires her, she said Missy Elliot, Cynthia Morgan regarding her style and hair color.

When she was going on mentioning these names, she quickly mentioned Denrele Edun which she corrected saying he was a disappointment.

According to her Denrele disappointed her prior to her coming to Big Brother Nigerian house.

After she found out she was going to be on Big Brother Naija, she reached out to Denrele, and after they talked, he refused to be there for her. She said he stopped answering her calls and DMs and totally avoided her.

Despite all of this, she said she is still in love for him and loves the way he expresses himself fashion wise.

Alex has said that since coming to the BBNaija house the only thing she did that she has regretted doing is crying when Leo was evicted in the house.

http://www.mcebisco.com.ng/2018/03/bbnaija-im-in-love-with-denrele-edun.html

Wagasigiungu:


Orisirisi something!!! Wonders shall never end. My people say who get cap no get head and who get head no get cap!!! Pls OP desist from using that word- despise- on your parents. There are literally millions of people desperately wishing they could have the love, attention and care (albeit suffocating according to you) of their parents, but alas, this can never be!!!!

Some don't even know their parents, some have lost theirs to the cold hands of death, some were never shown such love by their parents. The list is endless.

What am i driving at- appreciate what you have and look for a nice way to let them know how you feel. They obviously want the best and are looking out for you. How would you feel if you become a parent in future and your kids say such things about you?


[Addition] How would you feel if your future husband you love so much stays out very late into the night and you voice out your concerns for his late nights (out of love and care of course), but he sees it as you nagging and suffocating him with your actions (note that a spouse's love is very very minimal compared to that of parents IMO)

You are a very lucky person, you just don't realize it yet. As humans, we never appreciate what we have until we loose it (i pray this isn't your portion though)

A word, they say is enough for the wise!!!

You only say this to 11 - 25 years old lady not a 30years . What the parents are doing is showing control not love. My sister suffered same even at 24 and I had to call my mum attention to allowing her stay out a little at least 7pm or 8pm. What if she gets a job in Abuja and they supposedly stay in Lagos won't she get a house of her own? Take note of their fears, what will people think of a single lady staying alone...My dear man that will marry you will marry you even you like sleep in a hotel...That's how a mother used witchcraft to deny the daughter from marriage because she works in an oil and gas firm in PH with the fears that she will forget her and focus on her husband and children.

Today's parents wants to correct their mistakes with their children. Please, it better to have head or cap than have head or cap that will surpress you.

Desirae:
Hello everyone.

I come from a very overprotective and irrational family. I just turned 30, I’m gainfully employed and doing so well in my career.


However, my social life is suffering. Most times I want to spend weekends with friends, or just hang out with colleagues after work, but by 7:00 I’ll already have over 15 calls from my parents asking if I’m on my way home. Yeah, I live with my parents.

Presently, I’ve been searching for an apartment so I would move out of their house. I need my freedom and independence. I feel like I can’t breathe!

Even weekends, when I decide to go out and chill with friends, they ask all manner of questions “who are you doing with, where are you going to, hope you’ll be back before 5”. Seriously! I’m 30 years old! And they’ll be the ones asking why I haven’t brought a husband. Where will I find him? In my office? Or in my bedroom?

The last straw was last week. My best friend lost her mum. When I told my own mum, her response was “oh she has finally died? Ehn, shey she’s been sick. Why do you now want to spend the weekend with her? For what”

I was furious, but I didn’t say a word so I won’t regret anything. How would she feel if her husband died and someone said “oh he’s finally dead?” Even my dad doesn’t help matters! How insensitive could people be?! They seem to forget death is inevitable. And anyone can go at anytime.

I’ve made up my mind to move out this month. I love them, I wish them well, but I can’t do all of this madness with them. I’m done being controlled and told what to do and what not to do. I’m not a kid. Most of my mates have more than 2 children.

I love them, but I’m done!

Pardon them they won’t be around forever and trust me then you will miss that from them. One day they will be in a cemetery and you will be the only one they will visit just be straight with them for now ignore if you can. I’m the only girl so you can imagine how my Mum views me she doesn’t call me like yours does because I tell her where I’m going and when I’m coming back.

She is right you could be attacked living alone move in with a room mate if you absolutely have to or manage till a man marries you on your wedding day na you sef go cry pass!
For my Mum and I it took a cruise lol where we both couldn’t run away so we faced our issues square on and it deepened our bond

Desirae:
Hello everyone.

I come from a very overprotective and irrational family. I just turned 30, I’m gainfully employed and doing so well in my career.

However, my social life is suffering. Most times I want to spend weekends with friends, or just hang out with colleagues after work, but by 7:00 I’ll already have over 15 calls from my parents asking if I’m on my way home. Yeah, I live with my parents.

Presently, I’ve been searching for an apartment so I would move out of their house. I need my freedom and independence. I feel like I can’t breathe!

Even weekends, when I decide to go out and chill with friends, they ask all manner of questions “who are you doing with, where are you going to, hope you’ll be back before 5”. Seriously! I’m 30 years old! And they’ll be the ones asking why I haven’t brought a husband. Where will I find him? In my office? Or in my bedroom?

The last straw was last week. My best friend lost her mum. When I told my own mum, her response was “oh she has finally died? Ehn, shey she’s been sick. Why do you now want to spend the weekend with her? For what”

I was furious, but I didn’t say a word so I won’t regret anything. How would she feel if her husband died and someone said “oh he’s finally dead?” Even my dad doesn’t help matters! How insensitive could people be?! They seem to forget death is inevitable. And anyone can go at anytime.

I’ve made up my mind to move out this month. I love them, I wish them well, but I can’t do all of this madness with them. I’m done being controlled and told what to do and what not to do. I’m not a kid. Most of my mates have more than 2 children.

I love them, but I’m done!

Thank God you even have parents who care! Some people have been living almost as orphans since they were born under the roof of their parent.

This is simply happening because you are a lady and nothing more
If you were a young man, your situation would have been slightly different.

I sometimes get paranoid over my girls too. Why? The consequence of "mistakes" or "accidents" are almost exclusively one sided with the female bearing almost all the repercussions
Like:
Men rarely gets raped: I want to be sure they are not going to dangerous places
Men don't get pregnant: I especially reinforce my "lectures" on celibacy till marriage
Women suffer more in failed Marriages: I begin my "preaching" on recognizing playboys and bad husband materials
etc

Interestingly, I can predict with 95% certainty that you will be like that to your own children. Hold on. In 2-3 years, you would be out of the house forever if you desire to marry.

The syndrome your parent are exhibiting is called "Over-Love". They mean well and that's the best way they know how to protect and care for their lovely daughter.

deathwing:
Ignore your parents for a bit. I grew up like this, and the instant I moved out, I nearly stopped speaking to them. Now they beg me to come visit at my own time. My younger sister would have been like you, but she has more mind, got a good job and now finds different excuses to not visit because they nearly babied her to death. They'll keep us inside and it's not like they'd even give us money. It's been months she last saw them. I have no regrets, what you sow is what you reap. They oveeprotected us for the first two decades of our lives, it's now time for us to show our independence for another two decades.

Do yourself a favour and break out and become independent on your terms before they baby you to depression and eternal singlehoodor a bad marriage. You should have done this at 28 sef. Take your life back!

Please not saying you should break contact with your parents o. Naturally, I don't miss people or have a compulsion to visit people, so it's natural for me to not call or visit my parents. I don't even have more than one friend I have ever visited because I like my privacy and peace too much. If I were the lovey dovey romantic time, I'd be visiting them more, but im not and they know this.

You perfectly described me in your last paragraph.

We share exactly the same personality type

Desirae:


I’m expecting a lengthy speech from my mum... “what will people say? A single unmarried woman living alone... you’ll chase men away”

What will be, will be. But I’m done.

Stay there and be thinking of what people will say while your life passes by.
Since you have the money move out, your parents and everyone will begin to respect you.

Desirae:
Hello everyone.

I come from a very overprotective and irrational family. I just turned 30, I’m gainfully employed and doing so well in my career.

However, my social life is suffering. Most times I want to spend weekends with friends, or just hang out with colleagues after work, but by 7:00 I’ll already have over 15 calls from my parents asking if I’m on my way home. Yeah, I live with my parents.

Presently, I’ve been searching for an apartment so I would move out of their house. I need my freedom and independence. I feel like I can’t breathe!

Even weekends, when I decide to go out and chill with friends, they ask all manner of questions “who are you doing with, where are you going to, hope you’ll be back before 5”. Seriously! I’m 30 years old! And they’ll be the ones asking why I haven’t brought a husband. Where will I find him? In my office? Or in my bedroom?

The last straw was last week. My best friend lost her mum. When I told my own mum, her response was “oh she has finally died? Ehn, shey she’s been sick. Why do you now want to spend the weekend with her? For what”

I was furious, but I didn’t say a word so I won’t regret anything. How would she feel if her husband died and someone said “oh he’s finally dead?” Even my dad doesn’t help matters! How insensitive could people be?! They seem to forget death is inevitable. And anyone can go at anytime.

I’ve made up my mind to move out this month. I love them, I wish them well, but I can’t do all of this madness with them. I’m done being controlled and told what to do and what not to do. I’m not a kid. Most of my mates have more than 2 children.

I love them, but I’m done!

Going out to live on your own is not an automatic way of getting married ok. Believe me if you come from a good family then someone might be monitoring you good. Socializing is good though but it can also leads to pain and heart break.

Do you stay in lagos?

If yes lets hook up..

Hi me on 080.51.69.1231

Desirae:


I’m expecting a lengthy speech from my mum... “what will people say? A single unmarried woman living alone... you’ll chase men away”

What will be, will be. But I’m done.

MrNigeria2018:


You are wrong on this

A lot of parents don’t hold on to their children out of love but selfish reason of having that child around them all the time due to few people in the house.

Some parents are controlling and ll do everything to control their children lives.

This is not love but selfishness.

Parents who loves you ll respect you at certain age and let you have your freedom too.

Very true, They always feel the need to express their dominance over another and who else if not their children. We mistake this psychopathic expression for love, it's far from Love. As kids they beat and forcefully imbibe fear and submission into us so that when we grow they can easily control us at their will. If they truly love her they would care about her happiness and no sane 30yr old living with parents can be happy(under normal circumstances)

Wagasigiungu:


I can't bring myself to give a grown-ass-man like you approval. That would be tantamount to being disrespectful. I wouldn't want you to drag me in the mud. If you could address your parents in such manner, then who i be wey you no go finish me with "one blow, seven die". Lolz

Good! i am glad you Acknowledge that, so next time stay in your lane!

My advise may sound funny, but you can try this, if they don't agree
1) Ask your Company to Transfer you to another state
2) Travel out of the country
3) Get a Travelling Job where your not stable
4) Declare yourself missing..
5) Arranged Marriage

Donjazzy12:

Lesbianism loading......

Am curious to know how??

Op, if I were u, I won't even think 2ce abt my decision, I will move ASAP! I admire u sha, u have a good career, keep it up.

Ops! Ops!! Ops!!! How many times did I call you? Please try to manage the situation. If you have the freedom, definitely friends and others will always come around especially when there is no one to caution them. Even you will see fake men pretending they love you, they may even put up with you, PLS BE CAREFUL! Let your parents still do there duties. You will always meet the right guy at the right time. It is not even good for a lady to live alone. It is good as your parents are watching over you. All the best.
Thank you.

Dear, u just need to take things easy so as not to fall victim of regret. What elderly sees sitting, children might not see even clamping tree. U do not need to go wide or stay away all day or weekends to get ur man. My question is, how mature do u relate with ur parents, do they see independence in u, suppose u r them, can u freely leave a daughter like u? it is good to have freedom,but freedom can be dangerous at some point in life. My advice, get more maturity and understanding, get closer and become friend to ur parents and let them see what u r seeing that they are not seeing, by that, they will also tell u what they are seeing that u r not seeing. best of God dear.

Find a way to tell dem, dats all... Tell dem because der wil b a time u will go dat house to stay and de may want to continue from where they stop,(not to pass time outsde) For me, after saying it jokingly for a while my mum begin they adjust bt my dad neva change... Den sometimes wen I com home cause I work far away so I stay at my work place, sometimes I decide to stay somewhere 2 days bfor I com hom, sometimes I passed d night at a hotel and der e begin to see dat I can take care of my sef and he has now reduced d call to my taste maximum 3ce a day except for an important issue

In as much I understand where you are coming from and understanding you need your freedom. Your choice of the word Despise on your parents, to me it's no no no. Honour your father and Mother that your days may be long. You have to be very mindful of the choice of your words. You said you are 30yrs old, definitely you must have spent larger part of your yrs under their roof. Definitely you will not spend another 3/2 again under their roof again.You need to be a bit patience, what an elders see why seating, definitely the Children wouldn't see even if they are on top of Mongo tree. Don't listen to all these indomie generation as I quite sympathy with your situation, you definitely take a solace in a few yr/ yrs you will definitely marry and have their blessings to leave under your husband.

Wagasigiungu:


Orisirisi something!!! Wonders shall never end. My people say who get cap no get head and who get head no get cap!!! Pls OP desist from using that word- despise- on your parents. There are literally millions of people desperately wishing they could have the love, attention and care (albeit suffocating according to you) of their parents, but alas, this can never be!!!!

Some don't even know their parents, some have lost theirs to the cold hands of death, some were never shown such love by their parents. The list is endless.

What am i driving at- appreciate what you have and look for a nice way to let them know how you feel. They obviously want the best and are looking out for you. How would you feel if you become a parent in future and your kids say such things about you?


[Addition] How would you feel if your future husband you love so much stays out very late into the night and you voice out your concerns for his late nights (out of love and care of course), but he sees it as you nagging and suffocating him with your actions (note that a spouse's love is very very minimal compared to that of parents IMO)

You are a very lucky person, you just don't realize it yet. As humans, we never appreciate what we have until we loose it (i pray this isn't your portion though)

A word, they say is enough for the wise!!!

wise words from a decent man

oruma19:
I am an adult, 40 years Feb 19th this year. I have a wife and 3 children (2 girls, 1 guy ages between 4-8, I own my own house built by me (by aGod's grace) I am and an engineer working in a foreign land but live n Nigeria. I'm all these my parents still call me and my wife whenever I am in town and say "where u de?, no waka for night o, pls go home, my grandchildren nko?, dont go to any party tgis weekend in case u have plans for one, wake up 12 midnight make we do prayer on fone, don't open ur gate ooo, be careful how u do good o, dont go out today, etc etc. For those of us who are blessed to have caring parents let's celebrate and stop Misyearning on Nairaland. Appreciate what u have and communicate ur dislikes instead of spewing trash like " despising parents " . when u finally loose them to death, u will realize what a blessing u had that u didn't appreciate and u will cry. Repent now and loosen up to be their friend instead of keeping to urself. Akpa. Lollzzzz

You said it all. God bless you.

Desirae:
Hello everyone.

I come from a very overprotective and irrational family. I just turned 30, I’m gainfully employed and doing so well in my career.

However, my social life is suffering. Most times I want to spend weekends with friends, or just hang out with colleagues after work, but by 7:00 I’ll already have over 15 calls from my parents asking if I’m on my way home. Yeah, I live with my parents.

Presently, I’ve been searching for an apartment so I would move out of their house. I need my freedom and independence. I feel like I can’t breathe!

Even weekends, when I decide to go out and chill with friends, they ask all manner of questions “who are you doing with, where are you going to, hope you’ll be back before 5”. Seriously! I’m 30 years old! And they’ll be the ones asking why I haven’t brought a husband. Where will I find him? In my office? Or in my bedroom?

The last straw was last week. My best friend lost her mum. When I told my own mum, her response was “oh she has finally died? Ehn, shey she’s been sick. Why do you now want to spend the weekend with her? For what”

I was furious, but I didn’t say a word so I won’t regret anything. How would she feel if her husband died and someone said “oh he’s finally dead?” Even my dad doesn’t help matters! How insensitive could people be?! They seem to forget death is inevitable. And anyone can go at anytime.

I’ve made up my mind to move out this month. I love them, I wish them well, but I can’t do all of this madness with them. I’m done being controlled and told what to do and what not to do. I’m not a kid. Most of my mates have more than 2 children.

I love them, but I’m done!

https://www.nairaland.com/4337568/leave-home

Read the thread above. I left home @ 23. I'm a guy though.

I will give the OP a piece of advice. The best way to tackle domineering parents is by using the ELEMENT OF SURPRISE!!! Use a week or two to set up your apartment, then let them return home from work to meet an empty room. Return in the evening and drop their house key, then wave goodbye. That's what I did @ 23. That was in February. This March made me 24. Last Friday, I paid my MSc school fee worth N109,650 (1 full academic session) from my own pocket and I'm extremely proud of myself!!!

Desirae:


I’m expecting a lengthy speech from my mum... “what will people say? A single unmarried woman living alone... you’ll chase men away”

What will be, will be. But I’m done.

I once met a young lady on admission I the psychiatric ward for severe depression from a domineering mother .

The psychiatrist insisted that she be let to leave to her personal place from the mother's home as part of the treatment regimen. I remember the mother agreeing and the girl smiling and dancing in the corridors.

Parents have no idea the pressure they put thier children through.

Honestly you should ha e moved out immediately you could stay in your own. It's not healthy to be around your parents for too long.

In pidgin English.. see finish go enter

Desirae:
Hello everyone.

I come from a very overprotective and irrational family. I just turned 30, I’m gainfully employed and doing so well in my career.

However, my social life is suffering. Most times I want to spend weekends with friends, or just hang out with colleagues after work, but by 7:00 I’ll already have over 15 calls from my parents asking if I’m on my way home. Yeah, I live with my parents.

Presently, I’ve been searching for an apartment so I would move out of their house. I need my freedom and independence. I feel like I can’t breathe!

Even weekends, when I decide to go out and chill with friends, they ask all manner of questions “who are you doing with, where are you going to, hope you’ll be back before 5”. Seriously! I’m 30 years old! And they’ll be the ones asking why I haven’t brought a husband. Where will I find him? In my office? Or in my bedroom?

The last straw was last week. My best friend lost her mum. When I told my own mum, her response was “oh she has finally died? Ehn, shey she’s been sick. Why do you now want to spend the weekend with her? For what”

I was furious, but I didn’t say a word so I won’t regret anything. How would she feel if her husband died and someone said “oh he’s finally dead?” Even my dad doesn’t help matters! How insensitive could people be?! They seem to forget death is inevitable. And anyone can go at anytime.

I’ve made up my mind to move out this month. I love them, I wish them well, but I can’t do all of this madness with them. I’m done being controlled and told what to do and what not to do. I’m not a kid. Most of my mates have more than 2 children.

I love them, but I’m done!

Staying alone is not the solution, when the time for your rightful husband to come, he will, so many men takes advantage of single ladies staying alone, they will always like to use your apartment as a getaway . free food, comfort and sex loading, you just have to be principled enough to stand your ground when living alone, because most men will perceive you as a vulnerable lady who no matter how strong she exhibits will always need a male around her. I am talking from experience because I started living alone since I was 18, your parents knows what they see.

Stallion93:
Very true, They always feel the need to express their dominance over another and who else if not their children. We mistake this psychopathic expression for love, it's far from Love. As kids they beat and forcefully imbibe fear and submission into us so that when we grow they can easily control us at their will. If they truly love her they would care about her happiness and no sane 30yr old living with parents can be happy(under normal circumstances)

You're a fountain of wisdom bro. There is a difference between Love and Selfishness. Most Nigerian parents are selfish!!!

Desirae:
Hello everyone.

I come from a very overprotective and irrational family. I just turned 30, I’m gainfully employed and doing so well in my career.

However, my social life is suffering. Most times I want to spend weekends with friends, or just hang out with colleagues after work, but by 7:00 I’ll already have over 15 calls from my parents asking if I’m on my way home. Yeah, I live with my parents.

Presently, I’ve been searching for an apartment so I would move out of their house. I need my freedom and independence. I feel like I can’t breathe!

Even weekends, when I decide to go out and chill with friends, they ask all manner of questions “who are you doing with, where are you going to, hope you’ll be back before 5”. Seriously! I’m 30 years old! And they’ll be the ones asking why I haven’t brought a husband. Where will I find him? In my office? Or in my bedroom?

The last straw was last week. My best friend lost her mum. When I told my own mum, her response was “oh she has finally died? Ehn, shey she’s been sick. Why do you now want to spend the weekend with her? For what”

I was furious, but I didn’t say a word so I won’t regret anything. How would she feel if her husband died and someone said “oh he’s finally dead?” Even my dad doesn’t help matters! How insensitive could people be?! They seem to forget death is inevitable. And anyone can go at anytime.

I’ve made up my mind to move out this month. I love them, I wish them well, but I can’t do all of this madness with them. I’m done being controlled and told what to do and what not to do. I’m not a kid. Most of my mates have more than 2 children.

I love them, but I’m done!

it should be a personal decision

Dear. There Is An Ancient Saying, "that What Your Parents Can See Sitting,if You Like Climbup To The Highest Mountain You Wont See It!! Justifying Wisdom With "Age" Is Totally Wrong, Your Parents Wishes You Well But You Got Alil Work To Do, Try Call Mum And Dad Sit Them Down In A Well Mannered Tone And Air Out Your Opinions To Them.Make Them See Reasons And Assure Them Its For The Betterment Of Everyone. And Please Dont Despise Your Parent For Its Unpleasant In The Eyes Of God! Dearie Man~up And Do The Needful . Cheers

Simply move out...

Wagasigiungu:


Pray tell, where is the thrash he is spewing? You say he should stop speaking for everybody, why are you speaking for all Nigerian parents and the black race while at the same time make absurd analogies and generalizations? You refer to Zuckerberg and Bill Gates, what percentage of successful school drop outs to they represent? You want to churn out statistics to corroborate your claim but your sample isn't in the least bit representative!!! We work with what is obtainable in our immediate environs. Let's not digress from the topic of discussion sha.

P. S. I agree with you that there is a thin line between being possessive and being caring. We all need to be wary of this in all our daily encounters with our loved ones.

I did not say anyone was spewing thrash. You need to calm down with the exclamation marks. An exclamation mark means you're shouting and that is rude. You also need to stop mansplaining.

Hello everyone. I am looking for a flatmate at my apartment at chevron lagos. The estate beside Chevy view estate. Females only. It's a 3 bedroom. I want to sub let other rooms for 600,000. Clean water, very good road network and easy access to main express. If interested please reply my post so I can give you my number. First come basis. Thank you

MasterRahl:
You're a fountain of wisdom bro. There is a difference between Love and Selfishness. Most Nigerian parents are selfish!!!

Very selfish, they just don't reason normally and that's the reason they're lots of confused youngsters out on the streets, they don't teach their kids how to be human with intergrity and independent rather they focus on their selfish desires so when the kids forcefully leave them or they the parents die; the whole world becomes like a Mazed labyrinth.

9stargirl:
Hello everyone. I am looking for a flatmate at my apartment at chevron lagos. The estate beside Chevy view estate. Females only. It's a 3 bedroom. I want to sub let other rooms for 600,000. Clean water, very good road network and easy access to main express. If interested please reply my post so I can give you my number. First come basis. Thank you

What about the one in Delta state, you ain't sub letting that again?

Funny enough that's the same thing I've been going through for four months. At 24, if they see me with a guy they start saying all manner of things, he's not the right guy for you, he isn't rich bla bla..they went further to confront one of my male friends sef..I got tired and have decided to give them some space. For crying out loud, I'm a graduate about to commence postgraduate studies, why are they such control freaks? Have spoken to them but they wouldn't listen..I left the house for now.

Don't despise your parent. That word *despise* is a very strong negative word. I'm sure they are just trying to protect you and do their part as a parent. Why not get yourself into a serious relationship and from there you can gain some freedom, or use it to stand your ground as a full grown adult who is capable of taking care of himself/herself...grace!