Morwendy:
Thanks but when I'm about to pay £2.5k for his leave to remain and hes been busy setting up his secret company in Nigeria, I think I may be permitted to think that when he's a permanent resident next month, he has plans to be changing things?

If you did not trust your husband, you had no business marrying him in the first place. Your husband is SUPPOSED to be your HUSBAND, and not "another of them Nigerians". You came to report him but, you also showed the disdain with which you view your husband. I hope your husband truly Roll ooooonnn...sweet maaama!! Like Teebag

So sorry to hear of your story.but unfortunately the name problem is not an unusual one as there are many Nigerians in UK working under names that is not there real names(People call it using other peoples passport).Like u said he was an overstayer in the UK after his visiting visa expired and the only way he would have being working all that long is because he probable was using another person's passport(He can't get a job with his visiting visa).Like I said it is not an unusual situation but he needs to sit you down and be honest with you as this thing as a way of being a problem in the future.Do not argue with him but talk to him and promise to help him but he needs to be honest eith you.Pls also keep it between you guys.

Morwendy:
Hi. New here but have read threads for years til now and I just have a simple question to ask . Ok, I know how dim I sound but I married my Nigerian husband 8 years ago. Next week, we apply for his permanent leave to remain here. We've been happy enough since we got married, the usual ups and downs but nothing too serious. Anyway, I found that he has a website advertising a business in Nigeria. Asked him about it and he says yes its his but its not up and running yet (like thats why I was mad at him rather than because he set ghis up without even telling me). I was looking at some photos on his site and I came across a poster laying out the days events for his fathers funeral. At the foot of the poster it says 'by [his name but different surname] on behalf of the family. Now, this new surname is the same as his fathers so I believe it to be his true name. Asked him about it and he says that his surname is different to the rest of his family because he chose to take his paternal grandfathers name. I assume his father should also bear the grandfathers name? He just keeps telling me that I don't understand Nigerian customs/traditions but now the word 'scammed' keeps popping into my head. A simple yes or no would be enough - is it usual for a man to NOT take his fathers name? Thanks in advance.

baby4u2:
His story is not making sense and looks like you may not know all you need to know about this man. You are doing nothing wrong by asking questions.

Why can't he pay the 2.5k? This forum is too small to answer a lot of questions. Make sure you ask questions until you are satisfied. You are the one in the marriage.

Do not listen to this woman ooo! She will make you divorce your husband only to go take him behind you cos he lives in the UK. Oyibo, you never see naija women in action!

Morwendy:
I sincerely apologise to those of you who believe that I am not telling it as it is but I have actuallytold it exactly as it is. I do not think any less of Nigerians than I do of tbe English and just wanted to know about the name change. FYI, I'm 52, he's 49. No children though he has always treated my younger ones as his own. He's an Igbo from Owerri. His surname is an English surname. Yes the English do take their fathers name which is what confuses me - his grandfather had an English surname yet his fathers surname was.

However, as my question has caused so much offence, I will leave it there. Good evening and thankyou.

Oh and no, I'm not a whale. I'm also not wealthy.

Please remove that Surname you typed for your own sake. It is enough for us to know his ethnicity.

@Morwendy.U have a nice/ caring husband. Dnt allow dat petty thing to give u HBP.A man/lady can change their name,dat doesn't mean they are criminal/ have hiding skeleton in their cupboard. ..Maybe he change his name to kip away from nuisance family disturbing him for one thing to anoda..Dnt allow " online village people " to turn ur happy home upside down with their lunatic post.Be swt

People call it using other peoples passport).Like u said he was an overstayer in the UK after his visiting visa expired and the only way he would have being working all that long is because he probable was using another person's passport(He can't get a job with his visiting visa

I didnt say he was an overstayer nor that he had a visitors visa. He was here legally but border agency screwed up.

Surname removed from earlier post as advised.

Morwendy:
Is it usual for a man to NOT take his fathers name? Thanks in advance.

I have only seen it happen when the father rejects the child before birth and the mum's parents takes the child in. I have seen this happen thrice, the kids involved are grandfathers today, not my mate on any level.

Be careful with your man but not paranoid, just make sure you are not open to unnecessary risk.

elipheleh:
Woman. Listen up..
You are a terrible person. Very terrible.
I pity for the young man who has been wasting his 8 yrs with you thinking he's got an good wife, not knowing he's got a bitter sad monitoring distrustful terrible person. How dare you come online and talk so ill about your husband and even lead us all to a well crafted occlusion that he's a fraud?
If you don't love him, kindly free him so he can marry another wife. Life is too short for all this shits

people like don't allow women have say in their communities.. you take woman opinion for granted and you look down on them as inferiors. just look how u handle the issue. Mr right

Emm, are you sure the man does not have another wife at home since he does not have any child with the op?

LivingFree:


You're in your 50s! Which means his 47? Do you guys have children? If the answer is no... You are being scammed

The writing is on the wall but you should just let him get his passport and see if he sticks around. 8 years in he probably loves you but he just loves himself more..

What tribe is he?

You are a terrible human being. Have you considered that this is a marriage before you jump into conclusion.

@OP - this is the wrong place to seek advice. There are so many kids here.

mavinc4u:
Emm, are you sure the man does not have another wife at home since he does not have any child with the op?

Foolish girl, is it your business

Morwendy:
I don't think he's a gold digger, we both work hard for what we have and that has never been an issue. I just wonder how he has his grandfathers name (paternal not maternal) and a business that I didnt know about. He has no property that I'm aware of until his fathers passing recently but he doesnt have documents for his fathers properties yet. No documents until he got the ID card just before we married.

Madam you have been living with this man for over 8 years. What is your problem? Change of last name is a normal occurrence in Nigeria. Do you think your husband would be happy with what you are doing currently? Is it because you intend to file for his permanent residence that is why you are feeling insecure? Please let that man go. You don’t deserve him.

flyingdutchman:

If you did not trust your husband, you had no business marrying him in the first place. Your husband is SUPPOSED to be your HUSBAND, and not "another of them Nigerians". You came to report him but, you also showed the disdain with which you view your husband. I hope your husband truly Roll ooooonnn...sweet maaama!! Like Teebag

I am irritated by her. Let her say the truth, she does not want to file for him. She is here looking for justification and not answers. She has a hidden agenda. I just feel sad for the husband who has no clue that the wife is investigating him after 8 years of marriage.

flyingdutchman:


Do not listen to this woman ooo! She will make you divorce your husband only to go take him behind you cos he lives in the UK. Oyibo, you never see naija women in action!

I don't want old papa, she has no need to worry. Her man is not straight. Her case is not unique. We don see them before.

EmpresFIDEL:
people like don't allow women have say in their communities.. you take woman opinion for granted and you look down on them as inferiors. just look how u handle the issue. Mr right

C’mon shut up! Are you married? How would you feel if your husband starts investigating you after 8 years of marriage. The same person you sleep with and have built a life with. You must be ridiculous. If I personally know the husband, I would inform him that he does not have a wife.

ipobarecriminals:
@Morwendy.U have a nice/ caring husband. Dnt allow dat petty thing to give u HBP.A man/lady can change their name,dat doesn't mean they are criminal/ have hiding skeleton in their cupboard. ..Maybe he change his name to kip away from nuisance family disturbing him from one thing to anoda..Dnt allow " online village people " to turn ur happy home upside down with their lunatic post.Be swt

No she should continue to investigate him here on nairaland, where kids roam around. This is the right place for her to get marital advice. She is plain ridiculous.

Boss13:


C’mon shut up! Are you married? How would you feel if your husband starts investigating you after 8 years of marriage. The same person you sleep with and have built a life with. You must be ridiculous. If I personally know the husband, I would inform him that he does not have a wife.

and you cannot fathom out what brings about this investigation. the husband in question is shady, he keeps secret.. don't you know keeping secrets from your spouse will bring about her not trusting you? why can't the man trust his wife with his secret? after all they are one because they are married. I don't blame the lady because the husband has been keeping secrets from her, so she has every right to doubt him. Oga I must not be married to know what is wrong or right.

Boss13:


C’mon shut up! Are you married? How would you feel if your husband starts investigating you after 8 years of marriage. The same person you sleep with and have built a life with. You must be ridiculous. If I personally know the husband, I would inform him that he does not have a wife.

and you cannot fathom out what brings about this investigation? the husband in question is shady, he keeps secret.. don't you know keeping secrets from your spouse will bring about her not trusting you? why can't the man trust his wife with his secret? after all they are one because they are married. I don't blame the lady because the husband has been keeping secrets from her, so she has every right to doubt him. Oga I must not be married to know what is wrong or right.

EmpresFIDEL:
and you cannot fathom out what brings about this investigation? the husband in question is shady, he keeps secret.. don't you know keeping secrets from your spouse will bring about her not trusting you? why can't the man trust his wife with his secret? after all they are one because they are married. I don't blame the lady because the husband has been keeping secrets from her, so she has every right to doubt him. Oga I must not be married to know what is wrong or right.

You are not married. As a result not qualified to offer advice because you are not experienced. You are quick to jump into conclusion just from hearing only one party’s view. You have labeled the husband a shady character and this is a man you do not even know. Someone who is married would not do that because you are literally trying to destroy that home just by giving your TOXIC, inexperienced and ignorant advice.

You clearly know that name change in Nigeria is a frequent occurrence. The OP has said the husband told her that the website is not functional yet. Have you considered whether the husband is less interested in the website or would prefer the website to be functional and start to earn revenue before he disclose to his wife? You are not in their marriage. You do not know how their home operates. You just opened your useless mouth to advise someone who is even older than you and more experienced than you in marital affairs.

offshoreking:
Stupid bitches around, that’s why you guys take everyone for fool, all this shit you didn’t notice it since 8 year, is only now he will get his permanent residence next month, you start coming up with this bullshit. Why didn’t your check all this at the beginning? You will pay 2500 pounds whos money? Yours, probably for that 8 years he have live with you like he is your slave, now you have seen the mirror and knows that he will not take your shit anymore after the permanent resident, you want to start bullish. Give him his paper, he already taking enough of your shit, he earned it and he deserve it. Stop this nonsense, and some stupid idiot in Naija there will start talking nonsensical in the name of given advice. Listen guys, you don’t give advice on what you don’t know. Stay on your line.

Solid point, very solid.

elipheleh:
Woman. Listen up..
You are a terrible person. Very terrible.
I pity for the young man who has been wasting his 8 yrs with you thinking he's got an good wife, not knowing he's got a bitter sad monitoring distrustful terrible person. How dare you come online and talk so ill about your husband and even lead us all to a well crafted occlusion that he's a fraud?
If you don't love him, kindly free him so he can marry another wife. Life is too short for all this shits

Well said. She is a terrible person. She doesn’t want to file for the husband. She needs justification because she has none at the moment. This is a man who has been with her for 8 years. She is simply looking for a way to
Kick him out of the house.

A wicked and terrible woman you are! I hope you read this because I wrote it with every disgust in my heart.

Morwendy:
Long story. He was in the Uk when I met him 10 years ago. He was arrested by border agency for being an overstayer BUT after 2 years of legal battles, border agency admitted they got it wrong, that he had been granted a visa to stay for 3 years but they lost his passport and he'd never chased them for it. To get a new Nigerian passport, he had to get his sister to send his national id card from Nigeria and that gave the name we're married under. (Mystified how she got him a new ID card but says she paid officials and they gave it to her). So apart from the new ID card and the new passport, no other documents.

Tor

Morwendy:
Long story. He was in the Uk when I met him 10 years ago. He was arrested by border agency for being an overstayer BUT after 2 years of legal battles, border agency admitted they got it wrong, that he had been granted a visa to stay for 3 years but they lost his passport and he'd never chased them for it. To get a new Nigerian passport, he had to get his sister to send his national id card from Nigeria and that gave the name we're married under. (Mystified how she got him a new ID card but says she paid officials and they gave it to her). So apart from the new ID card and the new passport, no other documents.

It's possible, for me, we ain't answering my father's name but that of my great grandfather. So I believe it's the same.. is he Igbo??

[.

Boss13:


No she should continue to investigate him here on nairaland, where kids roam around. This is the right place for her to get marital advice. She is plain ridiculous.

Boss13:


No she should continue to investigate him here on nairaland, where kids roam around. This is the right place for her to get marital advice. She is plain ridiculous.

morwendy, u hear dis?Some peep u are looking up to for advice won't do u any good, they'll ruin ur happiness with their jaundice /mad men advice. U neva caught him cheat on u/engaged in fraud,why trouble ur soul over one name? Most of us use diff name to kip our identity from "wicked people " Most Nig in diaspora dnt use their father's name for security reason. Supposed he now use his real name and family members search him on Fb and bombard him with one request/ another, i believe u'll complain /open another thread with caption"HELP YOUR HUSBAND SPEND YOUR MONEY ON HIS FAMILY ".I believe u'll soon visit his parents and everything will be clear to u.U aren't seeking for advice here but HEARTBREAK.

Morwendy:
I don't think he's a gold digger, we both work hard for what we have and that has never been an issue. I just wonder how he has his grandfathers name (paternal not maternal) and a business that I didnt know about. He has no property that I'm aware of until his fathers passing recently but he doesnt have documents for his fathers properties yet. No documents until he got the ID card just before we married.

I think he's just trying to have an Investment back home.

You know you guys are unpredictable, in case there's divorce or something, he won't have much to lose.


He will go back home a happy man.

Boss13:


You are not married. As a result not qualified to offer advice because you are not experienced. You are quick to jump into conclusion just from hearing only one party’s view. You have labeled the husband a shady character and this is a man you do not even know. Someone who is married would not do that because you are literally trying to destroy that home just by giving your TOXIC, inexperienced and ignorant advice.

You clearly know that name change in Nigeria is a frequent occurrence. The OP has said the husband told her that the website is not functional yet. Have you considered whether the husband is less interested in the website or would prefer the website to be functional and start to earn revenue before he disclose to his wife? You are not in their marriage. You do not know how their home operates. You just opened your useless mouth to advise someone who is even older than you and more experienced than you in marital affairs.

Boss13:


You are not married. As a result not qualified to offer advice because you are not experienced. You are quick to jump into conclusion just from hearing only one party’s view. You have labeled the husband a shady character and this is a man you do not even know. Someone who is married would not do that because you are literally trying to destroy that home just by giving your TOXIC, inexperienced and ignorant advice.

You clearly know that name change in Nigeria is a frequent occurrence. The OP has said the husband told her that the website is not functional yet. Have you considered whether the husband is less interested in the website or would prefer the website to be functional and start to earn revenue before he disclose to his wife? You are not in their marriage. You do not know how their home operates. You just opened your useless mouth to advise someone who is even older than you and more experienced than you in marital affairs.

learn to ignore kids.Most of dem are frustrated soul still eating reheated fufu under their parents roof.

LivingFree:
People can be addressed how they see fit... I have changed my surname via deed poll because I was sick of the way white people murder the name

I don't see scam here but I see a wife who doesn't really know her husband and that's disheartening. I think you should tell him what your feeling. The fact that he's not transparent with you and the fact that you're loosing trust. You guys need to deal with that rather than the different surname.

I hope this is not true......and u are kidding about it. Like changed ur surname because of how whites or whoever pronounce it??
Something must be really wrong with u if its true...

EmpresFIDEL:
and you cannot fathom out what brings about this investigation? the husband in question is shady, he keeps secret.. don't you know keeping secrets from your spouse will bring about her not trusting you? why can't the man trust his wife with his secret? after all they are one because they are married. I don't blame the lady because the husband has been keeping secrets from her, so she has every right to doubt him. Oga I must not be married to know what is wrong or right.

EmpresFIDEL:
and you cannot fathom out what brings about this investigation? the husband in question is shady, he keeps secret.. don't you know keeping secrets from your spouse will bring about her not trusting you? why can't the man trust his wife with his secret? after all they are one because they are married. I don't blame the lady because the husband has been keeping secrets from her, so she has every right to doubt him. Oga I must not be married to know what is wrong or right.

explain/ tell us how the husband is a shady character? He deceived u b4?

Quite strange you turned a forensic expert just few months to get his residential stay...... I mean for you to have pointed that out it is obvious you are skeptical about letting him get that. I don't want to call you a horrible person. You mean after 8 solid years? Most women advising you here that are married don't even know half of what their husbands owns. You want to Eboue him at some point?

progress69:



I hope this is not true......and u are kidding about it. Like changed ur surname because of how whites or whoever pronounce it??
Something must be really wrong with u if its true...

Imagine such inferiority.