My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. - Family (2)

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My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. - Family (2) - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. (39363 Views)

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Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by okonja(m): 1:15am On May 14, 2018

LivingFree:

You're in your 50s! Which means his 47? Do you guys have children? If the answer is no... You are being scammed

The writing is on the wall but you should just let him get his passport and see if he sticks around. 8 years in he probably loves you but he just loves himself more..

What tribe is he?

i didn't say Flattino BUT let us invite NCAN Abuja and Owerri branch for more elaboration cheesy

2 Likes

Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by OkwuruOKARISIA(m): 1:15am On May 14, 2018

I'll use myself as example for you.

My surname is Odo
All my siblings use Mba
My father uses Mba as well.

It all depends on the family and personal choice.
The ones I stated above doesn't include my father's native name which one us can still decide to go with at wish.

I'm not saying that there's something or nothing wrong, study him carefully.

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Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by whobemumu(m): 1:16am On May 14, 2018

Also opening a business in Nigeria a lot of the time is for “ just in case “ u have some business to do u already have a registered company . Oyibo will not understand !!!!

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Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by Elkay3: 1:16am On May 14, 2018

If he discharges his duty as a husband, and loves you as you should be loved, stay calm. For name issue...very possible. I did. I was in Junior Secondary school 3 when i decided to change it. I didn't consult anyone from home or school, just walked into G & C Unit and did it.

Don't feed on doubts, it creates a widened trust issues list.

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Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by humblesteve(m): 1:19am On May 14, 2018

Very much possible but that shouldn't be a problem here but why he's hiding things from you should be a major to think

Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by INDUSTRIALFAN(m): 1:21am On May 14, 2018

Morwendy:
Hi. New here but have read threads for years til now and I just have a simple question to ask . Ok, I know how dim I sound but I married my Nigerian husband 8 years ago. Next week, we apply for his permanent leave to remain here. We've been happy enough since we got married, the usual ups and downs but nothing too serious. Anyway, I found that he has a website advertising a business in Nigeria. Asked him about it and he says yes its his but its not up and running yet (like thats why I was mad at him rather than because he set ghis up without even telling me). I was looking at some photos on his site and I came across a poster laying out the days events for his fathers funeral. At the foot of the poster it says 'by [his name but different surname] on behalf of the family. Now, this new surname is the same as his fathers so I believe it to be his true name. Asked him about it and he says that his surname is different to the rest of his family because he chose to take his paternal grandfathers name. I assume his father should also bear the grandfathers name? He just keeps telling me that I don't understand Nigerian customs/traditions but now the word 'scammed' keeps popping into my head. A simple yes or no would be enough - is it usual for a man to NOT take his fathers name? Thanks in advance.

let me be plain here. We Nigerians change surnames for certain reasons ranging from ease of pronunciation, to personal matters but I'll state it here that your 'husband' may be keeping stuff from you but then, if he wanted to scam you, he would have done that years ago. You both have been together for so long and he hasn't scammed you except you've got billions he's waiting patiently to collect which I doubt. My advice, sit him down, have a heart to heart talk and let him know how you feel. Let him open up to you and assure him you can handle whatever he tells you of himself maturely. That he is Nigerian doesn't mean he is a scammer. Every nation has got both good and bad. A lot of scammer are not Nigerians but claim to be Nigerians just to throw people off their tracks.

32 Likes 3 Shares

Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by Oritsewhandey(m): 1:22am On May 14, 2018

Morwendy:
Long story. He was in the Uk when I met him 10 years ago. He was arrested by border agency for being an overstayer BUT after 2 years of legal battles, border agency admitted they got it wrong, that he had been granted a visa to stay for 3 years but they lost his passport and he'd never chased them for it. To get a new Nigerian passport, he had to get his sister to send his national id card from Nigeria and that gave the name we're married under. (Mystified how she got him a new ID card but says she paid officials and they gave it to her). So apart from the new ID card and the new passport, no other documents.

I don't think he intends to scam you. Scammed in Nigeria are there about proportion of 1% of the entire population.

What attracted you to him? Was it his talks or doings?
If he's educated or not, are you rest assured, you've got bright future with him?

Names don't matter. In a place like Africa, especially like Nigeria, most people who had gone through extreme darkness of struggles and pain, couple with extended families' maltreatment of the surviving children due to confiscation of their parents' properties, forceful re-marriage of their mothers... and so on;

Factors like these sordid tales made children of such products CHANGED THEIR SURNAMES TO AVOID ANY AFFINITY WITH SUCH DEVIOUS EXTENDED FAMILIES.

Also to prevent themselves from being easily tracked by these extended families, through social media.

Hardeybohwarley:
Ain't nobody snitching here.

Just kidding

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Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by Nobody: 1:23am On May 14, 2018

okonja:

i didn't say Flattino BUT let us invite NCAN Abuja and Owerri branch for more elaboration

They are waiting for the surname to be revealed! Over and out grin

1 Like

Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by INDUSTRIALFAN(m): 1:24am On May 14, 2018

Elkay3:
If he discharges his duty as a husband, and loves you as you should be loved, stay calm. For name issue...very possible. I did. I was in Junior Secondary school 3 when i decided to change it. I didn't consult anyone from home or school, just walked into G & C Unit and did it.

Don't feed on doubts, it creates a widened trust issues list.

okay so why is he hiding a lot of information from her? As hard as it may seem, her husband is being shady.

1 Like

Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by baby4u2(f): 1:25am On May 14, 2018

His story is not making sense and looks like you may not know all you need to know about this man. You are doing nothing wrong by asking questions.

Why can't he pay the 2.5k? This forum is too small to answer a lot of questions. Make sure you ask questions until you are satisfied. You are the one in the marriage.

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Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by Nobody: 1:28am On May 14, 2018

I sincerely apologise to those of you who believe that I am not telling it as it is but I have actuallytold it exactly as it is. I do not think any less of Nigerians than I do of tbe English and just wanted to know about the name change. FYI, I'm 52, he's 49. No children though he has always treated my younger ones as his own. He's an Igbo from Owerri. His surname is an English surname. Yes the English do take their fathers name which is what confuses me - his grandfather had an English surname yet his fathers didn't

However, as my question has caused so much offence, I will leave it there. Good evening and thankyou.

Oh and no, I'm not a whale. I'm also not wealthy.

10 Likes

Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by CarlosTheJackal: 1:30am On May 14, 2018

Morwendy:
I don't think he's a gold digger, we both work hard for what we have and that has never been an issue. I just wonder how he has his grandfathers name (paternal not maternal) and a business that I didnt know about. He has no property that I'm aware of until his fathers passing recently but he doesnt have documents for his fathers properties yet. No documents until he got the ID card just before we married.

I will advise you to take the to verify his claims and do it discreetly.

You are having trust issues which is dangerous for the marriage and i can tell you are scared of making such a huge financial commitment and everything will be gone with the wind.

Follow your instinct because its the only thing that can't fail you.

Don't fall for any Love story

4 Likes

Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by CarlosTheJackal: 1:32am On May 14, 2018

LivingFree:

They are waiting for the surname to be revealed! Over and out

He is an Igbo man from Owerri so can we hear what you get to say

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Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by Nobody: 1:33am On May 14, 2018

CarlosTheJackal:
He is an Igbo man from Owerri so can we hear what you get to say

I ain't got shi to say boo, I was just taking the piss

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Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by Nobody: 1:35am On May 14, 2018

Fake story...
can't believe some people actually believed this shít.

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by Zither(m): 1:36am On May 14, 2018

LivingFree:

You're in your 50s! Which means his 47? Do you guys have children? If the answer is no... You are being scammed

The writing is on the wall but you should just let him get his passport and see if he sticks around. 8 years in he probably loves you but he just loves himself more..

What tribe is he?

Terrible mathematics. She said she is in her 50s. Is it early or middle or late 50s? The husband could be anywhere around 50, 53 54...not necessarily forty-something.

That is by the way. Do you know it is so myopic to drag tribal identification into matters like this? Does knowing the tribe of the op's husband give you orgasm or what? Genius, what has the tribe of the man in question got to do with anything?

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Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by Nobody: 1:39am On May 14, 2018

Zither:

Terrible mathematics. She said she is in her 50s. Is it early or middle or late 50s? The husband could be anywhere around 50, 53 54...not necessarily forty-something.

That is by the way. Do you know it is so myopic to drag tribal identification into matters like this? Does knowing the tribe of the op's husband give you orgaism or what? Genius, what has the tribe of the man in question got to do with anything?

Why are you angry this time off the night?

Abeg take your maths and your issues and go headbutt a wall! I was taking the piss and you missed the joke, that you took offence is your choice! Offence is to be taken... Good night hun #Peace tongue

8 Likes

Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by CarlosTheJackal: 1:41am On May 14, 2018

LivingFree:

I ain't got shi to say boo, I was just taking the piss

i had my knives out to carve a piece of you this midnight grin

LivingFree:

I ain't got shi to say boo, I was just taking the piss

i had my knives out to carve a piece of you this midnight

Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by Zither(m): 1:41am On May 14, 2018

Morwendy:
I sincerely apologise to those of you who believe that I am not telling it as it is but I have actuallytold it exactly as it is. I do not think any less of Nigerians than I do of tbe English and just wanted to know about the name change. FYI, I'm 52, he's 49. No children though he has always treated my younger ones as his own. He's an Igbo from Owerri. His surname is an English surname. Yes the English do take their fathers name which is what confuses me - his grandfather had an English surname yet his fathers surname was Akuruka.

However, as my question has caused so much offence, I will leave it there. Good evening and thankyou.

Oh and no, I'm not a whale. I'm also not wealthy.

You have offended no one by seeking an answer to your question. People are entitled to their opinion.

14 Likes

Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by Nobody: 1:42am On May 14, 2018

No big deal about the name it's normal in Nigeria. One of my sibling has a different surname which he choose himself and I am about to change mine too. You should be asking your hubby questions about the business and why his keeping it away from you.
Best of luck.

3 Likes

Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by Nobody: 1:42am On May 14, 2018

CarlosTheJackal:
i had my knives out to carve a piece of you this midnight i had my knives out to carve a piece of you this midnight

You're not the only one! You guys should knock one off and sleep! Stress before bed causes an early death tongue

Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by Nobody: 1:47am On May 14, 2018

Morwendy:
Haha I dont trust his family - he went to visit and his sister had a Nigerian wife lined up for him when he got there who had travelled from the USA to meet him. (He didnt tell me that either, the new wife-to-be contacted me when he refused - she already has a husband in the US) He's 3 years my junior - not a lot when you're in your 50's.

Pardon me but it sounds like you have way far more deeper issue than a mere surname.

Good luck to you guys, you'll need it.

5 Likes

Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by CarlosTheJackal: 1:50am On May 14, 2018

LivingFree:

You're not the only one! You guys should knock one off and sleep! Stress before bed causes an early death

Sleep? Got no time for it

I've got loads of advice to dish out to Morwendy so that she won't be a victim of marriage for Permanent residency.

Why should i sleep when a soul longs for comfort and hope?

Nice dimples though on your do, it reminds me of my granny i never met nor saw her pix

5 Likes 2 Shares

Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by Zither(m): 1:51am On May 14, 2018

LivingFree:

Why are you angry this time off the night?

Abeg take your maths and your issues and go headbutt a wall! I was taking the piss and you missed the joke, that you took offence is your choice! Offence is to be taken... Good night hun #Peace

Ladies first....

4 Likes

Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by damola1: 1:52am On May 14, 2018

This one no trust him husband. Cultural difference

Business is nothing in 9ja..

One can hope to have one for years

I think the real issue is you don’t really trust him.... you should ask yourself why and sort it out now.

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by Nobody: 1:52am On May 14, 2018

CarlosTheJackal:
Sleep? Got no time for it

I've got loads of advice to dish out to Morwendy so that she won't be a victim of marriage for Permanent residency.

Why should i sleep when a soul longs for comfort and hope?

Nice dimples though on your do, it reminds me of my granny i never met nor saw her pix

You crack me up! Please dish out all the comfort she needs grin

1 Like

Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by Zither(m): 1:53am On May 14, 2018

CarlosTheJackal:
Sleep? Got no time for it

I've got loads of advice to dish out to Morwendy so that she won't be a victim of marriage for Permanent residency.

Why should i sleep when a soul longs for comfort and hope?

Nice dimples though on your do, it reminds me of my granny i never met nor saw her pix

HAHAHAHA

Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by CarlosTheJackal: 1:58am On May 14, 2018

LivingFree:

You crack me up! Please dish out all the comfort she needs

I think you need the comfort now grin

LivingFree:

You crack me up! Please dish out all the comfort she needs

I think you need the comfort now

Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by CarlosTheJackal: 2:02am On May 14, 2018

Zither:

HAHAHAHA

LivingFree:

You crack me up! Please dish out all the comfort she needs

Zither:

HAHAHAHA

Did you guys find out that a lot of People here are supporting the man and indirectly bullying the woman to keep quiet and act like the normal robot that African women are known for.

4 Likes

Re: My Husband Has A Different Surname To The One He Uses.. by ipobarecriminals: 2:07am On May 14, 2018

thesicilian:
You haf enter one chance my sista.

thesicilian:
You haf enter one chance my sista.

God nor go allow u break person home/poor sand inside his garrium sulphate.Explain/tell us how is dat a scam/one chance? So if i change my name from ESUBIYI to OLUWASEUN,nah one chance be dat?Nonsense

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