Temitope74 see let me engage you a bit.

I know very well her kind of person and I have dated such.

You are the cause of everything and I'll tell you why.

She knows you're obsessed with her beauty, she knows or thinks you think you can't afford to lose her. She feels her beauty and attractiveness will get her any man and she may be right and so that is the card she would always play against you when you guys have issues, although she may be doing it subliminally and you respond to her subtle threats by always pandering to her misdeamenors.

Now is there a way out? Maybe. But you'll have to put her on the line.

Do not always compliment her, make her understand that youre smart and attractive and many ladies are on the line on your matter too. Make her believe you're with her for every other thing but her beauty and that beauty doesn't matter for you.

Tell her that even though you love her you will not accept her obstinate actions and will be forced to end everything.

You have to risk it all and make her make the hard choice of either sticking with you or moving on to explore the days of her youth.

Make her understand that the world does not revolve around her fine face or big nyashh. Make her believe you don't care much about those things.

You're the man so man up and stake it all... if you lose her then you know you dodged a bullet and if she comes back then you know she'll be in it for life but you have to give her that ultimatum.

All these things I stated are to be shown as well as said to her.

Lastly, never let a woman believe you're obsessed with her or she'll never truly be yours. Women always want to be in control but when you show her that you will always be in charge, she's going to be so into you cos she wants to keep trying to get you under her and she'll relish the challenge. When she has tried for a long time without succeeding, only then will she be submissive and totally loyal to you.

Cheers mate.

DreamersVille24:
Temitope74 see let me engage you a bit.

I know very well her kind of person and I have dated such.

You are the cause of everything and I'll tell you why.

She knows you're obsessed with her beauty, she knows or thinks you think you can't afford to lose her. She feels her beauty and attractiveness will get her any man and she may be right and so that is the card she would always play against you when you guys have issues, although she may be doing it subliminally and you respond to her subtle threats by always pandering to her misdeamenors.

Now is there a way out? Maybe. But you'll have to put her on the line.

Do not always compliment her, make her understand that youre smart and attractive and many ladies are on the line on your matter too. Make her believe you're with her for every other thing but her beauty and that beauty doesn't matter for you.

Tell her that even though you love her you will not accept her obstinate actions and will be forced to end everything.

You have to risk it all and make her make the hard choice of either sticking with you or moving on to explore the days of her youth.

Make her understand that the world does not revolve around her fine face or big nyashh. Make her believe you don't care much about those things.

You're the man so man up and stake it all... if you lose her then you know you dodged a bullet and if she comes back then you know she'll be in it for life but you have to give her that ultimatum.

All these things I stated are to be shown as well as said to her.

Lastly, never let a woman believe you're obsessed with her or she'll never truly be yours. Women always want to be in control but when you show her that you will always be in charge, she's going to be so into you cos she wants to keep trying to get you under her and she'll relish the challenge. When she has tried for a long time without succeeding, only then will she be submissive and totally loyal to you.

Cheers mate.

Hmmm. Thanks a lot.

I only read half of that whatsapp message and fell in love with the nigga,, he truly understands young girls and life...

DonPiiko:
Temitope74 you were too harsh, apologize and make it up to her. If she's very attractive as you said, a lot of guys will be on her case and will be waiting in the winds to take her away, she is still young and still in the market so you definitely know she will be hard to control.

Too harsh? Common broh, all I saw and read was "TRUTH", he was only harsh when he threatened her with "In or Out.."

ol boy see letter! e too much na,this na accumulated gbege you dey treat o!

So we still have Nigerian men like Temitope....my guy leave her and go and chase money and build a life for yourself. That woman you are drooling over ain’t shit anymore in 5-10yrs time, and you shoud start thinking of what you would have achieved in those years.

Never you settle for mediocrity or shitty behavior no matter how beautiful the woman is. Improve yourself and you are going to attract better women. This is why I tell all my friends to stay away from any form of committed relationships, you all need to date random girls and live in abundance.

You are too needy, childish and beta. Are you going to die if you don’t marry her. Anyway once you become very successful, you will be the one deciding and having to choose from a place of abundance. This is scarcity mentality at play thinking she is the most beautiful woman in the world. Make some money and travel to Brazil or Columbia and come back and tell me that lady is the most beautiful woman in the world. Even though I live in Scandinavia with beautiful women, but my job rotation to Brazil changed my mindset when it comes to beauty standard.

You don’t need to pacify her to be with you, if she is not scared of losing you pls walk away.

If you check out the text of his message, you will notice someone forcing her to commit, love and relationships are not a one way traffic, he isn't on the same wavelength with her, the harsh truth is that it gets very painful when you invest and get nothing in return. To solve this puzzle both of them need to have a sitdown and answer the "what are we??" question

austyn0:
Too harsh? Common broh, all I saw and read was "TRUTH", he was only harsh when he threatened her with "In or Out.."

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DonPiiko:
If you check out the text of his message, you will notice someone forcing her to commit, love and relationships are not a one way traffic, he isn't on the same wavelength with her, the harsh truth is that it gets very painful when you invest and get nothing in return. To solve this puzzle both of them need to have a sitdown and answer the "what are we??" question

Yeah,, wish him well though.

One thing I've learnt in Love, Realtionships and Marriage..!

"A Man Cannot LOVE and be WISE at Same Time"

P.S. I'm in my early 20s and not married

Ladies in their early 20s are not really ready for marriage, she still wanna see the world...by the time she's 29,her eyes would clear. Though time would have been wasted. if she does not listen, please let her be..for your sake!!

Wow!!! I am shocked. NL guys this is one of the early 20s girls meant to be submissive and meek unlike the 30s ladies who are "bitter" "angry"

OP apparently you and your lady are not on the same page. While you are ready ro settle down, she still feel she is still has time and wants to explore.

And from what you typed, she still haa to work on her emotional intelligence and character. Soon she will see that beauty cannot get her everything. And you also should stop being beauty struck.

I didn't read but whatever you wrote, keep it up.

Don't ever try apologising to her...move on and save yourself the future heartache.
I feel you are all about beauty.Guy sit down and chose a wife cos beauty will fade one day.

Temitope74:


I'm willing to apologise. In fact, I've apologised on several occasions where I realised I went out of the line out of jealousy. But my fear bro is her feeling she's doing me a favour by being with me. I'm thinking of marrying her. Won't she go on cheating spree after marriage if she feels I'm not really the man of her dream? She's not committed. That's my headache.

If the bolded is true,you are just deceiving yourself.You are a side n*gga(no offence),move on and save yourself the stress.


Ciao..

You are such a good writer, op! I am impressed.

You are giving excuses for your girlfriend. She isn't just an egomaniac, she is selfish. She thinks about herself only. She has Narcisstic Personality Disorder(they feel you need them more). Such people resort to cold treatment and ignoring their loved ones, they know it will hurt you.

Sadly, you are being emotionally abused.

Let her go!

ImaIma1:
Wow!!! I am shocked. NL guys this is one of the early 20s girls meant to be submissive and meek unlike the 30s ladies who are "bitter" "angry"

OP apparently you and your lady are not on the same page. While you are ready ro settle down, she still feel she is still has time and wants to explore.

And from what you typed, she still haa to work on her emotional intelligence and character. Soon she will see that beauty cannot get her everything. And you also should stop being beauty struck.

You dey mind them?

hmmmmmm

Dating a girl in her early 20's for marriage purpose

the lord be with you

you really sent this to someone on whatsapp?



oga you have time oh

timijoseph01:
One thing I've learnt in Love, Realtionships and Marriage..!

A Man Cannot LOVE and be WISE at Same Time

P.S. I'm in my early 20s and not married

A nairalander once gave dat quote.plz give the pesin some credit.

From what you wrote,you fully know the problem but probably because you are in love you are blinded by the beauty that actually attracted her to you in the first place.Let me be honest bro, you are the one in love and she's not.

Apart from beauty, what value is she adding to your life at the moment? If there's none, please stop wasting your time .

You said you are in your 30s and she's on her early 20s,baba it's obvious she wants to explore and far from being committed to any man at this moment.As painful as it may sound,I advise you salvage whatever emotional damage left and move on with your life.

If eventually she realises that she really wants you and come back probably after exhausting her options, you might take her back but by then the kitten must have been basterdised.

Brother, please free this babe..... you are not even his first choice.

Y not look for ur agemate or someone more mature. U wan chock small gal wey still dey school. See epistle

pocohantas:


You dey mind them?

They won't say anything now. In fact they cannot say anything.
Always generalizing and jumping into conclusions

nairaland20:

A nairalander once gave dat quote.plz give the pesin some credit.

well, I can't even remember where I read the quote maybe here or elsewhere.. maybe will edit the post and put a ""

nairaland20:

A nairalander once gave dat quote.plz give the pesin some credit.

well, I can't even remember where I read the quote maybe here or elsewhere.. maybe will edit the post and put a ""

pocohantas:


If you had mentioned that earlier, I wouldn't talk much.
Don't try to marry such a woman. EOD.

If you dare marry her, you'll do everything to please her...till you lose your very essence as a man.

You may finally get frustrated and take it out on her one day.

You're missing something. Dude talked about sacrificing his ex to be with the girl but she's unwilling to make same sacrifice. Meaning that the girl has got a main nigga she doesn't want to let go.

Just what if she's not that in love with him or probably in love with the other guy?

You wrote all that on whatsapp? That is just too much. You're trying to force a love that doesn't seem to exist between you too. Love isn't meant to be this difficult.

timijoseph01:

well, I can't even remember where I read the quote maybe here or elsewhere..
maybe will edit the post and put a ""

https://www.nairaland.com/4489200/response-previous-thread-created-amara

Abi

Oga she doesn't love you. You even said she detested being called your wife.

Please stop encouraging her to leave her current boyfriend for you like you left your girl for her. You might be more mature and financially stable than her boyfriend now, but the thing is when a girl is really in love, nothing can turn her mind. To me, you are just pouring water inside a basket, the earlier you stop the better.

You write well, OP
Mind you, don't recall the message, wait for a response

DonPiiko:
Temitope74 you were too harsh, apologize and make it up to her. If she's very attractive as you said, a lot of guys will be on her case and will be waiting in the winds to take her away, she is still young and still in the market so you definitely know she will be hard to control.

my dear, he's not too harsh on her, real men state dere mission without dumb fooling around, d lady in question is not ready 4 commitment, if she is, she would hv known dat men of his kind are rare to find. just let her go nd pray for a better relationship, time wait 4 no one.

nairaland20:
https://www.nairaland.com/4489200/response-previous-thread-created-amara

Abi

oh thanks.. didn't even remember it's on NL I read it anyways..
its Now edited