DateMynd44:
@ emboldened. so true, it happened to someone i knew. it may not even affect him but his daughter. those men are so fetish an heartless

DateMynd44:
I can see your mother is only useful for sex.
thunder gbuo you dia.
awon oni iranu oshi.
oponu jatijati

sacramento1212:


Leave am, the guy doesn't know. Even in the bible, it's clearly written, yak se nea caesar no caesar. Even for some place in ibibio land, before the traditional marriage proper, e se wa edung for either adiaha or anwa. If you don't do it, dem go pour libation and summon spirits to come deal mercilessly with you. Holyghost fire cannot help when it happens.

eleojo23:

spiritedtete:
You complain? Go to Itsekiri then... You will run.

Spaxon:
well
I'd say it's because of the money in the state..
yes it's my state but the qualities of the women are worth the amount..

an average akwa Ibom lady can manage a home without stress or family interference

2buffagain:


Every major progressive move came as a result of a revolution.

Nigerians are loud people, but they are weak and timid when it counts.
They are incapable of properly rebeling against tyranny... be it political or village wahala.

If people cannot free themselves from the bonds of something as pointless and pathetic as "village-placed burdens", how can they hope to free the country from more weightier oppressions?

Black man never start!

cybeks:






Please get ur fact straight before u talk or type. No bride price in Delta state is very expensive, they are at the moderate and also affordable

joeruano:
@ Akathriel, that list is even relatively very civil, lenient and God-fearing. Take a look at this:

(Just page 1 of 6 Imagine what's in the rest 5 pages)

HungerBAD:
Reading

This sounds interesting. Story not complete. Joeruano complete this story.

Joeruano thanks for completing the story.

I try not to talk about my personal stuff on Nairaland,but will make an exception today and tell a story before commenting on yours.

I am a Niger Deltan like you too,and a couple of months ago,my younger sister got married. I am also the oldest child and my dad is late(RIP) and so I am the Head of the family.

I had known her husband to be for a couple of years,and I know him to be a struggling young man,who is into different businesses and trying to survive.

Sometimes, without telling anyone, I push little contracts for him to handle so as to meet up,since he never once approached me for money considering the fact he knows I am on the okay side.

I liked him then,and I like him now. I wished him my inlaw,which he eventually became. I consider him a younger brother and that was how I treated him.

My Sister too, a beautiful young lady works for one of those organizations that pays in the 200k region . My sister is also a prudent woman who I know does not spend money on petty things.

When it was time for marriage. They approached me,and after giving them my blessing, I agreed they should go ahead and plan their marriage in Lagos. Later my mother started giving me heat that we should not ignore tradition,and out of pressure from more of my mothers family, I asked them to go get the list from the village.

When they brought the list, the young man went into a very sad mood and my sister called me complaining that village people want to destroy her marriage.

I will finish this story tomorrow. I am about to go take care of some personal matters.

Finishing my story.

When I saw the list, to say I was taken aback would be an understatement. They asked for everything there,and then some.

Now let me talk about this my village people and my history with them.

I went straight for my post-graduate degree,after my NYSC,and after graduation, showed up in my community,thinking they will hook me up with one of the Multiple National oil companies there, as a native.

They refused to help in a hostile way,and called me a Yoruba man,since i was born and bred in Lagos. And that the spots for jobs they had was for the people that grew up there,and not for strangers like us.

I left there after weeks hanging around, knocking on different doors. It was the humiliation of how I got to Lagos that still gets me upset. I sold my shoes,belts, trousers and my wristwatch.

I swore to never go to my people again for anything.

But my sister was getting married,and her husband to be did not have the muscle to sort everything out. I wanted to help, but did not want to look desperate as if I am in a hurry to just throw my sister way.

Told them not to worry,and that I will sort everything out when I fly back into the Country. A week later I flew into Nigeria,and called for a meeting with my inlaw to be. I asked him to look at the list and see what he can afford there. And when he picked the little things he could shoulder, I told him to bring the cash equivalent,and that I will go to the village myself to beg on his behalf.

I went to my hometown that weekend,and had a meeting with the elders of my family and the community, where I presented them with everything they asked for. I told them my inlaw had provided them to me in Lagos. They got their complete list,as I had swore me or any of my family members will never beg them for anything again.

The only thing they did was send a 5 man village representative to Come for the traditional wedding in Lagos,and that I took care of too.

My sister got married because big brother would not let traditionalists hold her marriage to ransom. They got what they wanted, and everybody is happy.

Not everyone I understand has a brother, or even anyone willing to stick it out for them to make sure their marriage works,as regards meeting the financial burden. And this is why the Tradition of extorting people under the quise of a long lists for marriage should be stopped.

spiritedtete:


Eheheheheheh.... I married from Itsekiri over 7 years ago.. My list was 600k after bargain.(as usual it would have been more) Minus first knocking of door money when i went to make myself known to the family.

The major thing i know for sure is Istsekiri people are the nicest tribe so far.

cybeks:






The fault is from your wife's family bro, the Itsekiri bride price is at the moderate, or may be na u go show urself for them as big man

40kobo77:


Are you single and an Itsekiri lady?

NoToPile:


That's the problem, what is making all this lists bogus is majorly the items for the village people. I am of the opinion that whatever is brought by the groom is strictly for the family. The brides father family and the brides mother family.(it's shared equally where I come from) if it's one sachet of salt that reach you you accept it with all joy. All these village association stuff will put young men into debt.

I am always amazed when I hear some village associations are requesting for this, one distant relative is the one determining that, are they the brides father?

With this economy a lot of young men can't afford all these.

zinizta:


hmmmm....IMO marriage is not for the financial unstable. ..

HungerBAD:
Reading

This sounds interesting. Story not complete. Joeruano complete this story.

Joeruano thanks for completing the story.

I try not to talk about my personal stuff on Nairaland,but will make an exception today and tell a story before commenting on yours.

I am a Niger Deltan like you too,and a couple of months ago,my younger sister got married. I am also the oldest child and my dad is late(RIP) and so I am the Head of the family.

I had known her husband to be for a couple of years,and I know him to be a struggling young man,who is into different businesses and trying to survive.

Sometimes, without telling anyone, I push little contracts for him to handle so as to meet up,since he never once approached me for money considering the fact he knows I am on the okay side.

I liked him then,and I like him now. I wished him my inlaw,which he eventually became. I consider him a younger brother and that was how I treated him.

My Sister too, a beautiful young lady works for one of those organizations that pays in the 200k region . My sister is also a prudent woman who I know does not spend money on petty things.

When it was time for marriage. They approached me,and after giving them my blessing, I agreed they should go ahead and plan their marriage in Lagos. Later my mother started giving me heat that we should not ignore tradition,and out of pressure from more of my mothers family, I asked them to go get the list from the village.

When they brought the list, the young man went into a very sad mood and my sister called me complaining that village people want to destroy her marriage.

I will finish this story tomorrow. I am about to go take care of some personal matters.

Finishing my story.

When I saw the list, to say I was taken aback would be an understatement. They asked for everything there,and then some.

Now let me talk about this my village people and my history with them.

I went straight for my post-graduate degree,after my NYSC,and after graduation, showed up in my community,thinking they will hook me up with one of the Multiple National oil companies there, as a native.

They refused to help in a hostile way,and called me a Yoruba man,since i was born and bred in Lagos. And that the spots for jobs they had was for the people that grew up there,and not for strangers like us.

I left there after weeks hanging around, knocking on different doors. It was the humiliation of how I got to Lagos that still gets me upset. I sold my shoes,belts, trousers and my wristwatch.

I swore to never go to my people again for anything.

But my sister was getting married,and her husband to be did not have the muscle to sort everything out. I wanted to help, but did not want to look desperate as if I am in a hurry to just throw my sister way.

Told them not to worry,and that I will sort everything out when I fly back into the Country. A week later I flew into Nigeria,and called for a meeting with my inlaw to be. I asked him to look at the list and see what he can afford there. And when he picked the little things he could shoulder, I told him to bring the cash equivalent,and that I will go to the village myself to beg on his behalf.

I went to my hometown that weekend,and had a meeting with the elders of my family and the community, where I presented them with everything they asked for. I told them my inlaw had provided them to me in Lagos. They got their complete list,as I had swore me or any of my family members will never beg them for anything again.

The only thing they did was send a 5 man village representative to Come for the traditional wedding in Lagos,and that I took care of too.

My sister got married because big brother would not let traditionalists hold her marriage to ransom. They got what they wanted, and everybody is happy.

Not everyone I understand has a brother, or even anyone willing to stick it out for them to make sure their marriage works,as regards meeting the financial burden. And this is why the Tradition of extorting people under the quise of a long lists for marriage should be stopped.

cybeks:







I'm single and I'm not Itsekiri by tribe

CharleyBright:


Yes, you are right, my inlaws and their village people capitalized on my ability to pay. Paying over N1.2M for traditional marriage 12yrs ago was much.
I had to make a choice : Pay or walk away from the marriage.
I paid by giving them all they requested on their silly list. It badly ruined my white wedding budget which was 2 wks after.
But one thing i have resolved over the years is that - No damn Village person or family head or Village head will determine what happens in my daughters T.M.
I wont even invite them.
My kids arent growing up in the village or anywhere close to it and I dont give a damn about any silly tradition.
After all, none of them village people is contributing a kobo for their education now.
So why will i go and pay homage to them during my daughters TM?
Damn them and their traditions.
.

DateMynd44:
yes they are different due to state creation but in terms of culture, name bearing, way of life, they are the same. I'm ibibio from akwa ibom state and Efiks are my brothers cos we speak virtually the same language and share everything in common

Judahudoh:
I am a native of Akwa Ibom and I want to say this - Am a type that observes naturally just anything going on around me. It never used to be so, believe me when I say, the so called culture is now mixed with greed and fueled by poverty looming an average unemployed villager.
I will always damn tradition anytime any day, especially if it is not comfortable for me. As a young man I do not have anything to do with cowards - male or female.
No body ever changed the world by adhering to what they were told they could and could not do. Every law is made by men for men and in most cases the law is only binding on the average men.
I should say a lady is a weakling if she can't stand up for her marital life. It is such a shame though am aware this doesn't happen in all parts of Akwa Ibom, I know it's not an Akwa Ibom issue.
Africans have a culture of mutual impoverishment and everyone is looking for who to take advantage of. It is my/your business if we accept it

prettyangel10:


You have verbal diarrhea, You seriously need to get help asap.

Humblesam:

,,

Marriage to the abovementioned units of this country needs just Plan and understanding by both parties and you are good....forget about that list the poster posted there.
Maybe he doesn't know how to possess his possession

Mizwisdom:

[s]

Oron and Anang are same with Efik language? Even Ibibio is not the same with Efik language but a bit similar. AKB & Efik are not the same. Even way of life is different. Efik are more reserved, quiet and contented while AKB are more hustlers and rugged . There are lots of differences. [/s]

DateMynd44: