Goodmorning, Pals.

My relationship is about crashing.

My girlfriend has suddenly changed. Before now, I use to be the every moment thought of my girlfriend.

Let me tell a short story of how it all started. My girl stays with her maternal grand mum because her father died when she was 4. Her mom's marriage with her late dad only lasted 4yrs as the marriage produced only she and her immediate younger brother who is now 20.

Before I met her she had worked full time with a tobacco company, BAT(BRITISH-AMERICAN TOBACCO) for almost a year. Then she was being paid N80,000.

However, I insisted that she should advance her education which she obliged. I bought JAMB form for her, and used my influence thereafter to secure an admission for her in UNN.

Not only that, I sent money for her school fee, despite the fact that she had almost a million naira in her bank account. And was at the verge of sending her money again for her second year school fees, for the payment is due to commence either this month end or next month.

Then, when she gained admission into UNN, I was proactive, that I composed a letter for her to be addressed to the manager of the branch office of the company. Fortunate enough, the manager assented to place her on part-time, but with a paycut that saw her earn only N50,000.

The major issue that led to this problem was that, I had a pass and was with her last week Monday, when her phone rang and it was her step dad that was calling her through her mom's phone. Note: her mom remarried after 1 year of my girl's dad died.

Her mom got married to a stupid man of 52 years old. This man called my gurl that day and was demanding N25,000 from her for the school registrations of one of his sons whom is about entering JSS 1.

I was mad that I asked her never to accept such responsibility for now. That she could do so in future. Later she pleaded that I shouldn't be angry.

This girl has been giving out money to this ass hole of a man.

However, the game changer was when she called me 5 days ago and was saying she needed money for something. When I enquired she opened up that her step father said that the school he wanted her half-brother to attend has started registrations. That I should send her money for it is now my responsibility.

I couldn't easily believe her. I shouted her down immediately. Rebuking her instanta. I made her to understand that such responsibility is not proper for neither she nor me that has yet to pay her bride price to be carrying a full grown ass man's family problem.

I made her to see the reason to leave me out of that till I come in finally for marriage which was my main plan. But, she hung up the call on me.

She stopped calling me for like 3 days, and when I call, she doesn't pick.

Nevertheless, I called her 4 times yesterday and she picked the 4th call and said in punchy manner that she needed a break or I do what she requested for.

Pls gentlemen and ladies, is it right for a young man of 26yrs old like me to carry another man's family problems, even when the said man is not the biological father of my girl?

Should I let go of her? I am confused right now.

Pls, I need mature advice on this for I love this girl so much.

when sh*t hit the fan

life is hard, don't make it harder


if she wants a break or conditions her need as a factor to staying then ready to do more,
trust me, the wants are never satiable, it would only pile up

its pretty sad, but if she insist on it then give a break

Hmmm.. 52 years man.. I'm sure the man is a drunkard.. How can he be requested moneys from her step dawta. That very very bad gan...

Anyways is which way, leave her alone for the moment.. Don't give her any money for her step dad, let the step dad work.. But if it's an amount u can let go, do ur best but try confirm if the boy is really going to school or not... So that the man wunt just be lying n collecting money...

If you subdue yourself to such emotional threat then boy
..... You are gone. Maintain your stance as a Man if she cannot accept your advice not after taking her this far..... You really deserve every respect from her based on that and you need to respect yourself too by maintaining your decision. It is not ego... It is you being you

Timekeeper:
Hmmm.. 52 years man.. I'm sure the man is a drunkard.. How can he be requested moneys from her step dawta. That very very bad gan...

Anyways is which way, leave her alone for the moment.. Don't give her any money for her step dad, let the step dad work.. But if it's an amount u can let go, do ur best but try confirm if the boy is really going to school or not... So that the man wunt just be lying n collecting money...

even if the step dad isn't lying or needs the money for that he claims, is it the boyfriends duty to be the provider,

stupid gestures like these is what make men cheat
I'm a male feminist and I believe what a man can do a woman should do, leave that family if this is how they operate before you get high bp

Girls and their silly mind games.
You are a MAN. Don't let a woman start to control your emotions.
In my own opinions, you did the right thing but you may try explaining to her in another way.
Follow your gut feelings.
But you've really tried for her oh.

Firstly, calling someone else father, husband a stupid man on a public forum is embarrassing and you need to edit the part.

To me, you are the root of every problem if you will listen to me. You bring this upon yourself telling your GF to apply for pay cut. You should have advise her to go for weekend program program ( PT ) considering her back ground. Well, am not trying to blame you for your advise because it is out of good will.

I wish to let you know this, if you really love your girl, you must be ready to love her with her burden. Either you take it or you leave it, her half brothers equally her full brothers. Considering the fact her biological father is late, her mother's husband remain her father and don't try to separate cos it won't work.

If you're capable in helping her, please don't hesitate to do so and mind you, don't ever tell your GF to leave her half brothers because she will start seeing you as enemy.
Also, your statement that you cannot be taking care of her responsibility when you've not married is hurt and sound betraying considering you advise her to take job cut.

My suggestion, send her apology sms and let her know you're not trying to separate her family and if possible you see her real person.

My kobo.

FreshBoss007:
when sh*t hit the fan

life is hard, don't make it harder


if she wants a break or conditions her need as a factor to staying then ready to do more,
trust me, the wants are never satiable, it would only pile up

its pretty sad, but if she insist on it then give a break

True talk my brother. I'm gutted as am typing this.

KAYCEEJUNIOR:
If you subdue yourself to such emotional threat then boy
..... You are gone. Maintain your stance as a Man if she cannot accept your advice not after taking her this far..... You really deserve every respect from her based on that and you need to respect yourself too by maintaining your decision. It is not ego... It is you being you

Thank you dearie. I have decided never to do that.

Op, u already know what's right, u just have to stick to it. your so called girlfriend needs to learn the hard way & it seems she's heading towards that direction by telling u she needs a break...

FOWOSHERE01:
Girls and their silly mind games.
You are a MAN. Don't let a woman start to control your emotions.
In my own opinions, you did the right thing but you may try explaining to her in another way.
Follow your gut feelings.
But you've really tried for her oh.

Thank you dear.

Not only that, I sent money for her school fee, despite the fact that she had almost a million naira in her bank account.

What happened to this money?

Deadlywoman:
Not only that, I sent money for her school fee, despite the fact that she had almost a million naira in her bank account.

What happened to this money?

I don't know why she no wanna use her money again. That is mine that must be sent.

Davindal:
I don't know why she no wanna use her money again. That is mine that must be sent.

just negodu. Don't get me pissed off this morning.

Your relationship is toxic. Your girl is very immature, her youthful age is deceiving her.This is one problem I detest dating young girls.They think the world revolve around them.
This your relationship will never work for now, I think you should really give your girl the space she requested. Let her explore and see the world for what it is.
But when she comes back do not accept her

Let her have the break. That's where she will learn, if you really love her just give her a short time within the break hoping she will come to her senses and come back, if she doesn't you move on. Nobody deserves such mind games.

madridguy:
Firstly, calling someone else father, husband a stupid man on a public forum is embarrassing and you need to edit the part.

To me, you are the root of every problem if you will listen to me. You bring this upon yourself telling your GF to apply for pay cut. You should have advise her to go for weekend program program ( PT ) considering her back ground. Well, am not trying to blame you for your advise because it is out of good will.

I wish to let you know this, if you really love your girl, you must be ready to love her with her burden. Either you take it or you leave it, her half brothers equally her full brothers. Considering the fact her biological father is late, her mother's husband remain her father and don't try to separate cos it won't work.

If you're capable in helping her, please don't hesitate to do so and mind you, don't ever tell your GF to leave her half brothers because she will start seeing you as enemy.
Also, your statement that you cannot be taking care of her responsibility when you've not married is hurt and sound betraying considering you advise her to take job cut.

My suggestion, send her apology sms and let her know you're not trying to separate her family and if possible you see her real person.

My kobo.

Mature advice Madridguy.. All those people yapping above, wait until you enter marriage and see for your self. I
@ op,I f I were you, I would have looked for a part time program near her base and not transferring her to UNN. A lot of women take this kind of route and down the line, they meet some one else and the rest like they say, is history.
Personally, I give assistance to people who aren't even related to me so why stop her from assisting the young lad's education. If she can afford it, let her do it. I would want to see it from the angle of helping the young boy and her mum and not the step father. But mind you, she should not end up becoming an ATM to the step father, so her Assistance should be at her own disgression.
That you are well off those not give you the right to insult a man who is down. Some people wish to be good and responsible to their family but can't help t probably due to the economy or just ill-luck.
As it stands now, you have boxed your self in a corner. Accede to her request and if she is the manipulative type, then know that you are now in a game of deceit and manipulation cos she will definitely use it as a tool.

If this girl pleases you in her ways and conduct, then come of your high horse and talk to her soothingly (trying to avoid using the word apologize ). Let her know she can help her family if she can afford it and that you will support her.

Wonderful contribution.

nams77:

Mature advice Madridguy.. All those people yapping above, wait until you enter marriage and see for your self. I
@ op,I f I were you, I would have looked for a part time program near her base and not transferring her to UNN. A lot of women take this kind of route and down the line, they meet some one else and the rest like they say, is history.
Personally, I give assistance to people who aren't even related to me so why stop her from assisting the young lad's education. If she can afford it, let her do it. I would want to see it from the angle of helping the young boy and her mum and not the step father. But mind you, she should not end up becoming an ATM to the step father, so her Assistance should be at her own disgression.
That you are well off those not give you the right to insult a man who is down. Some people wish to be good and responsible to their family but can't help t probably due to the economy or just ill-luck.
As it stands now, you have boxed your self in a corner. Accede to her request and if she is the manipulative type, then know that you are now in a game of deceit and manipulation cos she will definitely use it as a tool.

If this girl pleases you in her ways and conduct, then come of your high horse and talk to her soothingly (trying to avoid using the word apologize ). Let her know she can help her family if she can afford it and that you will support her.

it beats my imagination how a lady thats got nothing to offer control a full grown bloke like the OP



OP please answer this question sincerely.

ARE U A PUSSIE WORSHIPPER?

mr man run far away from that girl as far as your legs can carry you.

What does she mean by if you can't assist her lazy stepfather then you should give her a break. What nonsense is that.

Are you under any obligation to help her extended family?

Girls think marriage is a poverty alleviation scheme.

If she can prioritize her step father over you after all the help you have rendered her, use your head and run.

Those are the kind of girls that will run back home to their family when any problem arises in marriage to discuss you.

You are the man. You make the rules. If she can't comply to your advice, let her go.

Better don't let any irresponsible girl ruin your future. You are too young to carry the burden of a family that is not yours. You have your life to live.

Her step father is a stupidman for asking help from his step daughter whose mom he just got married to less than a year. What nonsense.

Young man go and get yourself another girl if she's not ready to listen.

Davindal:
Goodmorning, Pals.

My relationship is about crashing.

My girlfriend has suddenly changed. Before now, I use to be the every moment thought of my girlfriend.

Let me tell a short story of how it all started. My girl stays with her maternal grand mum because her father died when she was 4. Her mom's marriage with her late dad only lasted 4yrs as the marriage produced only she and her immediate younger brother who is now 20.

Before I met her she had worked full time with a tobacco company, BAT(BRITISH-AMERICAN TOBACCO) for almost a year. Then she was being paid N80,000.

However, I insisted that she should advance her education which she obliged. I bought JAMB form for her, and used my influence thereafter to secure an admission for her in UNN.

Not only that, I sent money for her school fee, despite the fact that she had almost a million naira in her bank account. And was at the verge of sending her money again for her second year school fees, for the payment is due to commence either this month end or next month.

Then, when she gained admission into UNN, I was proactive, that I composed a letter for her to be addressed to the manager of the branch office of the company. Fortunate enough, the manager assented to place her on part-time, but with a paycut that saw her earn only N50,000.

The major issue that led to this problem was that, I had a pass and was with her last week Monday, when her phone rang and it was her step dad that was calling her through her mom's phone. Note: her mom remarried after 1 year of my girl's dad died.

Her mom got married to a stupid man of 52 years old. This man called my gurl that day and was demanding N25,000 from her for the school registrations of one of his sons whom is about entering JSS 1.

I was mad that I asked her never to accept such responsibility for now. That she could do so in future. Later she pleaded that I shouldn't be angry.

This girl has been giving out money to this ass hole of a man.

However, the game changer was when she called me 5 days ago and was saying she needed money for something. When I enquired she opened up that her step father said that the school he wanted her half-brother to attend has started registrations. That I should send her money for it is now my responsibility.

I couldn't easily believe her. I shouted her down immediately. Rebuking her instanta. I made her to understand that such responsibility is not proper for neither she nor me that has yet to pay her bride price to be carrying a full grown ass man's family problem.

I made her to see the reason to leave me out of that till I come in finally for marriage which was my main plan. But, she hung up the call on me.

She stopped calling me for like 3 days, and when I call, she doesn't pick.

Nevertheless, I called her 4 times yesterday and she picked the 4th call and said in punchy manner that she needed a break or I do what she requested for.

Pls gentlemen and ladies, is it right for a young man of 26yrs old like me to carry another man's family problems, even when the said man is not the biological father of my girl?

Should I let go of her? I am confused right now.

Pls, I need mature advice on this for I love this girl so much.

Loving someone should not be a financial burden as well. She is choosing to help this man’s family and I think this is fuelled in part by her mother. She has no loyalties what is he doing to help his own children?

If she asks for a break grant her that, she is behaving like this and when you are just dating what will she be like as a wife. As painful as it is to accept money is a game changer in relationships your mistake was financially investing in someone who technically can walk out of your life and you cannot do anything about it Her mistake was enabling her step father.

If she can assist her family let her do it herself without involving you. What kind of a 52years old man gets married to a widow and in less than one year, starts asking help from the daughter.

Seriously I feel so angry reading this story. The man is an idiot.

He didn't even ask for the help once but kept on asking. Is the girl that dumb to see that the man does not care about her. And the girl is just so dumb as to want to continue helping him.
That your girl needs serious deliverance.

Her step father is not your responsibilty! You are not even married yet and she is already imposing the responsibility of her extended family on you and you are still asking if you should let her go.


If she had the nerves to hang up on you, refuse your calls and demand that you give her a break, When you get married eventually, what do you think will happen when her step father starts demanding more and you refuse to do so. Are you ready for a toxic marriage?

Better man up and don't let no pussy control you.

MissRaine69:

Loving someone should not be a financial burden as well. She is choosing to help this man’s family and I think this is fuelled in part my her mother. She has no loyalties what is he doing to help his own children.

If she asks for a break grant her that, she is behaving like this and when you are just dating what will she be like as a wife. A painful as it is to accept money is a game changer in relationships your mistake was financially investing in someone who technically can walk out of your life and you cannot do anything about it Her mistake was enabling her step father.

I really respect you sister. You are the only one true logical female on this platform. The rest are hungry mongers and from poverty stricken families

DopeAngel:
mr man run far away from that girl as far as your legs can carry you.

What does she mean by if you can't assist her lazy stepfather then you should give her a break. What nonsense is that.

Are you under any obligation to help her extended family?

Girls think marriage is a poverty alleviation scheme.

If she can prioritize her step father over you after all the help you have rendered her, use your head and run.

Those are the kind of girls that will run back home to their family when any problem arises in marriage to discuss you.

You are the man. You make the rules. If she can't comply to your advice, let her go.

Better don't let any irresponsible girl ruin your future. You are too young to carry the burden of a family that is not yours. You have your life to live.

Her step father is a stupidman for asking help from his step daughter whose mom he just got married to less than a year. What nonsense.

Young man go and get yourself another girl if she's not ready to listen.

Thank you very much dear. I already mapped my territory.

chenzen:
it beats my imagination how a lady thats got nothing to offer control a full grown bloke like the OP



OP please answer this question sincerely.

ARE U A PUSSIE WORSHIPPER?

No I ain't and can never be.

MissRaine69:

Loving someone should not be a financial burden as well. She is choosing to help this man’s family and I think this is fuelled in part my her mother. She has no loyalties what is he doing to help his own children.

If she asks for a break grant her that, she is behaving like this and when you are just dating what will she be like as a wife. A painful as it is to accept money is a game changer in relationships your mistake was financially investing in someone who technically can walk out of your life and you cannot do anything about it Her mistake was enabling her step father.

Thank you sister. I value you ladies advice more because you ladies perfectly understand how these things work. Above all thank you.

Please let her go asap. You can't control her for now, she
is still battling with immaturity.

She is gonna learn and it's gonna be the hard way.

Your mistake was conditioning her mind to feel you are always there whenever she needs help even without she asking, thats why she wouldnt touch her money.

Now her brain has been programmed that way and she will keep using it against you until she learns the hard way that life is not a bed of roses.

To that bastard of a man, he has no atom of shame or self-worth, I wouldn't be surprised if the marriage doesn't last

DopeAngel:
If she can assist her family let her do it herself without involving you. What kind of a 52years old man gets married to a widow and in less than one year, starts asking help from the daughter.

Seriously I feel so angry reading this story. The man is an idiot.

He didn't even ask for the help once but kept on asking. Is the girl that dumb to see that the man does not care about her. And the girl is just so dumb as to want to continue helping him.
That your girl needs serious deliverance.

Her step father is not your responsibilty! You are not even married yet and she is already imposing the responsibility of her extended family on you and you are still asking if you should let her go.


If she had the nerves to hang up on you, refuse your calls and demand that you give her a break, When you get married eventually, what do you think will happen when her step father starts demanding more and you refuse to do so. Are you ready for a toxic marriage?

Better man up and don't let no pussy control you.

The stepfather is being encouraged by the mother. She can put an end to this by telling him to stop bothering her daughter but that’s not the case. Have you asked yourself why?

No oooo, let her stay

Wilfredpat22:


I really respect you sister. You are the only one true logical female on this platform. The rest are hungry mongers and from poverty stricken families

Thank you
I don’t understand this prevailing mindset at all. Loving someone should not cost you your sanity.Being in a relationship should not be like taking a mortgage but the terms are not in your favour.

Davindal:
Goodmorning, Pals.

My relationship is about crashing.

My girlfriend has suddenly changed. Before now, I use to be the every moment thought of my girlfriend.

Let me tell a short story of how it all started. My girl stays with her maternal grand mum because her father died when she was 4. Her mom's marriage with her late dad only lasted 4yrs as the marriage produced only she and her immediate younger brother who is now 20.

Before I met her she had worked full time with a tobacco company, BAT(BRITISH-AMERICAN TOBACCO) for almost a year. Then she was being paid N80,000.

However, I insisted that she should advance her education which she obliged. I bought JAMB form for her, and used my influence thereafter to secure an admission for her in UNN.

Not only that, I sent money for her school fee, despite the fact that she had almost a million naira in her bank account. And was at the verge of sending her money again for her second year school fees, for the payment is due to commence either this month end or next month.

Then, when she gained admission into UNN, I was proactive, that I composed a letter for her to be addressed to the manager of the branch office of the company. Fortunate enough, the manager assented to place her on part-time, but with a paycut that saw her earn only N50,000.

The major issue that led to this problem was that, I had a pass and was with her last week Monday, when her phone rang and it was her step dad that was calling her through her mom's phone. Note: her mom remarried after 1 year of my girl's dad died.

Her mom got married to a stupid man of 52 years old. This man called my gurl that day and was demanding N25,000 from her for the school registrations of one of his sons whom is about entering JSS 1.

I was mad that I asked her never to accept such responsibility for now. That she could do so in future. Later she pleaded that I shouldn't be angry.

This girl has been giving out money to this ass hole of a man.

However, the game changer was when she called me 5 days ago and was saying she needed money for something. When I enquired she opened up that her step father said that the school he wanted her half-brother to attend has started registrations. That I should send her money for it is now my responsibility.

I couldn't easily believe her. I shouted her down immediately. Rebuking her instanta. I made her to understand that such responsibility is not proper for neither she nor me that has yet to pay her bride price to be carrying a full grown ass man's family problem.

I made her to see the reason to leave me out of that till I come in finally for marriage which was my main plan. But, she hung up the call on me.

She stopped calling me for like 3 days, and when I call, she doesn't pick.

Nevertheless, I called her 4 times yesterday and she picked the 4th call and said in punchy manner that she needed a break or I do what she requested for.

Pls gentlemen and ladies, is it right for a young man of 26yrs old like me to carry another man's family problems, even when the said man is not the biological father of my girl?

Should I let go of her? I am confused right now.

Pls, I need mature advice on this for I love this girl so much.

Old boy you are too young for this na, if you start doing that now it’s never going to stop, cause your girl needs the love of her mom so bad that she’s willing to do anything for it and if you are not in on that she is willing to leave, trust me I know it’s hard for you cause you love this girl.

But she’s chasing family love she never had, so beware.