GT07115:
well she is not naive as u think and to put the record straight I am the third guy she will be dating, I can count the number of ladies I have messed up with where, when and how it happened to this very moment , I am not a sex freak I was celibate for good 3 years without a woman no joke. When u talk about older ladies I laugh, older ladies who is either a graduate or self dependent I have come across are not submissive and ready to learn or take advice that will even better their lives, those who are graduate don't want to learn a trade to be self reliant rather they want to do business or secure a job they have no knowledge of. When I approached her I thought she was in her twenties but I was surprised to get the opposite and to me is a perfect age I love, I don't want old cargoes, I want a woman I can look at in 20 years from now I will still have an erection, sex is 80 percent in marriage and anything that will keep that fired burning to me is welcome and age is one of it. So don't take me for a sex starve man or an opportunist, I want her for a wife not sex machine, I am only disturb because humans are unpredictable and I don't have the financial muscles owing to other families responsibility.

No big deal dating her bt the question is marrying her at what age? Those she even know what she’s doing or getting into or just doing it because of the financial constraints she’s having and once she free of that she’s done with u?

Also an18 year old is still evolving and can’t change perception at anytime depending on when she discovers or knows what she wants.

U can’t marry her at 19 and is she ready to even get married now just so u can sponsor her? From my experience with guys who sponsor young gals it backfires cos it know feels like Ure buying or paying for her love that is the impression always at the end after u made all the sacrifices and u know start to panic about loosing or not loosing ur so called investment. That’s not a good position to be. Once she gets admission and sees her mates she might even say she’s not ready for marriage and rightfully so.

I like things happening naturally so do what u can and let her get a better idea of what she really wants in life. Getting her to marry u just so u can sponsor may or may not be a real desire as she may be doing because of her condition.

If she is a fine bt lazy gal pls abort mission because she will either change when she meets sm1 better or cheat on u even if Ure marry her.

mapet:


From the days of our fore-fathers, this tickles men

open should not Comman tell us later that the girl packed her load and go to her father's house after small misunderstanding

Don't let her go to LAUTECH.

I can bet my left balls that if the OP was financially buoyant, he would never consider marrying an 18year old girl from a poor background. Vice versa, the 18 year old girl would be repulsed of the idea of marrying a 30year man who is 12 years her senior when there are a lot of young and vibrant men in their 20s.

All this boils down to money. By rights, an 18 year old girl is of legal age to marry whoever she wants. People mention Amara Kanu, Omotola and Bianca as examples of women who married at the age of 18 but they forget that they were from comfortable backgrounds who married out of their own volition and are an exception to the rule. All these guys talking about "evening newspaper" are just talking gibberish. A girl who wants to be a slag will do so regardless of her age. The most important thing is their character. A lot of guys are just looking for girls whom they can dominate.

ITbomb:


In case you didn't notice, 30 years old man is still a guy while 30 years old woman is an Aunty

I'm 35, my wife is 25. If I were to marry my age mate or even a girl of 30, they will be calling her my senior sister if were to walk together.
Not to talk of when I'm 45 and still agile and some mama will be answering my wife. No!

generationz:
@GT07115

Your case is simple.

Finding someone we flow with and can meet our standards is difficult.


What you'll do is this

Start a business for her or let her learn a trade. Make sure the business is something she can do with or without a store eg buying and selling second clothes , shoes and bags or Chinese commodities.

If she decides on her learning a trade let it be something she can do for ladies eg hairdressing , tailoring etc. Even shoe making is a big business if your designs are awesome you can sell a shoe for 30k or more , she can sell sandals for as high as 12k. ( google dechayilsshoes on Instagram she's a graduate that worked in a corporate setting before becoming a big time shoemaker.)


Whatever you choose to start for her is what she'll use to sponsors herself through school. When she knows she is responsible for her schooling she will become mature quickly and be responsible with money and her education.


While you start the trade for her make sure you wed her. Don't train a girl in school without marrying her first. She might betray you


The okrika business is another one that sells like hot cake on Instagram and universities as long as she has an eye for trendy and sexy wears.

I know a lady who has two cars from okrika sales. She has a big store. The way she advertises the clothes on Instagram ehn ..

Make sure whatever she chooses to do she is good at it because she will be training herself while you cater for family expenses.

Don't give her money to start business. Make sure you are part of the whole process at the beginning.
Also, teach her money management skills.

You guys can put off child bearing while she's in for the first few years then when she's in her third year you impregnate her. That's your insurance ( if you know what I mean)

Good luck

PS you are not obligated to take care of her family or siblings responsibilities. Make sure you are marrying a lady you know loves and understands you ( not only you loving her). U known many women who wrecked their fiances finances because he had to cater for her and her family . Most times it ends in separation. You are the man , take charge. Don't reveal your full income to her if you feel she will be immature and blackmail you into ceding her family .

U re too brainy to tink like dis, are u a man or a woman, if u are a man i wish u can be my eye-to-eye friend and if u re a woman i wish i can marry you.

Phlakes:
open should not Comman tell us later that the girl packed her load and go to her father's house after small misunderstanding

How she'll fare in marriage cannot be predicted. She probably could have a successful marriage....and a fun-filled and fulfilled life

Hahahahahahaha. I just dey look this op with one eye. I don't think he knows what time it is or if he has gotten the memo. You want a docile, inexperienced, submissive young gal for a wife? You think 21st century young gals will give you that? When the only constant thing in life is CHANGE? LOL.

A 40 year old man i know married an 18 year old girl. The marriage crashed. He couldn't get her pregnant. She ran for her life. What surprised me was the speed she took to ask for a divorce. A naive old cargo would reason, 'Why would an 18 year old girl take a 360 and want to leave a man just like that? She wouldn't try it. She is meant to be docile and inexperienced forever under my spell,'.LOL. She even had the support of her parents. I guess they didn't want their daughter wasting her youthful and productive years with such a man. Till today, the old cargo is still praying for her to come back to him. Which makes me wonder why they allowed the union in the first place. So i guess the old cargo had her age in mind and felt she would reproduce kids without any problems. Not knowing he would be the one with the problem. Pfft. Life. Full of surprises.

Men never learn the easy way. Too bad. Every mallam with im kettle.

oga mak i advised u::nak am give am belle e don finished

And i also wonder. Do much older men ever reason the sexual disparity that is inevitable between they and their much younger wives? Well, younger men are always available to fill in the blanks for their wives. Lol. SMH.

The moment I saw this thread, it reminded me of my current situation. Exactly the same age range between me and my wife!
I first met her as my pupil back then in basic four. As a teacher and a virgin then, I never really looked at those kids; I just went there to teach and that was all. Funny part was that she disliked me because I was stern and disciplined. Fast forward to ten years later, I met her close to my house, rarely recognized her but later did. Started going out with her and then she became pregnant. Then I got to know later that they were very poor
You knew what I did?? Firstly I knew she loves me so much. Again I knew she is very intelligent. So I enrolled her in school ( NCE ), next I found a school for her where she now teaches and also enrolled my child there. Life has been a bit of a relief since.

JoannaSedley:
You married someone you will control not because of the lousy archaic African excuses you put up there. The fact remains that Africans are known for child marriages, we are used to seeing younger wives in africa, it has erroneously became a norm, that's why a supposedly educated man of your ilk will give this as an excuse for marrying a girl ten years younger than you. You and as well as most men needed maids that will submit to your whims and caprices, so marrying your agemates often scares you lots shirtless because of the fear of being outsmarted by a co-intellectual.
What happened to Obama and Michelle. Mark Zuckerberg and his wife, Bill and Hilary even our very own NOI and her husband and a whole lots of Nigerian intellectuals. Of course they are married to women that they are decades younger than. They left an indelible impacts.

Let's ask Trump how he is faring with his model.......



Nauseating excuses.

That's it! You will definitely turn a man's home into a law court.
Please be reminded that aging does not make you an intellectual.
There are female illiterates and half-baked graduates who are 35 years and above while we have first class graduates who are 19 years.
There is no error in two adults getting married.
The girl was not forced to marry him.
Even in western countries that you are talking about a 40-year old man can marry a 20-year old girl.
Love is choice, allow people to make their choice in peace; everybody must not conform to your desires.

Sophyrocks:
And i also wonder. Do much older men ever reason the sexual disparity that is inevitable between they and their much younger wives? Well, younger men are always available to fill in the blanks for their wives. Lol. SMH.

A 70-year old man is still sexually active.
A loose girl from an ungodly background will still cheat on her husband even if her husband is younger than her and has more sexual energy than a horse.
Promiscuity is in the blood.
I am a scientist and I can lecture you for free that sexual performance can only be a problem in marriage if the age gap is more than 20 years. However, it also depends on genetics. Some 25-year old boys cannot satisfy a woman sexually while some 50-year old men can go four rounds.

Sophyrocks:
Hahahahahahaha. I just dey look this op with one eye. I don't think he knows what time it is or if he has gotten the memo. You want a docile, inexperienced, submissive young gal for a wife? You think 21st century young gals will give you that? When the only constant thing in life is CHANGE? LOL.

A 40 year old man i know married an 18 year old girl. The marriage crashed. He couldn't get her pregnant. She ran for her life. What surprised me was the speed she took to ask for a divorce. A naive old cargo would reason, 'Why would an 18 year old girl take a 360 and want to leave a man just like that? She wouldn't try it. She is meant to be docile and inexperienced forever under my spell,'.LOL. She even had the support of her parents. I guess they didn't want their daughter wasting her youthful and productive years with such a man. Till today, the old cargo is still praying for her to come back to him. Which makes me wonder why they allowed the union in the first place. So i guess the old cargo had her age in mind and felt she would reproduce kids without any problems. Not knowing he would be the one with the problem. Pfft. Life. Full of surprises.

Men never learn the easy way. Too bad. Every mallam with im kettle.

STOP your lies. The man's problem has nothing to do with age. A 75-year old man can impregnate even a 16-year old girl. The man is simply infertile.
I pity any young girl that will inform you that she is getting married. The marriage is over already because you will dish envy and jealous-infested advice.

Op, in a way, I feel you are shortchanging yourself.

At 18, she cannot answer basic life questions. She can't take certain decisions, she can't see her own future and now that includes yours as well.

Who's going to brainstorm with you? Who is going to make decisions with you? Who will stand for you when you are not around? Who will your kids look up to as role models? What kind of standards are you setting in the house? Who will you build your networth and empire with? Who will provide the right kind of advice and stand as an anchor to your life? Who will you be so confident as to leave your state of affairs with? Who can you make a cosigner to your business? Who can confidently be your second in command and do a good job?

Are these not the things people look out for in marriage? Am I mistaken?

An 18 year old will never give you these. If she can, she will have enough sense to not opt for marriage now.

But, all in all, I wish you the best.

Being poor does not matter, it's not the end of life, if you love her, go and do the necessary things and for her staying longer hours in your house is very wrong, her parents are correct.

HitSong:
Thunder fire you there Ewu

Anumanu Ezi ofia

Its joy by impregnating. The question is can he satisfy her? Two different things

Polchiz:

STOP your lies. The man's problem has nothing to do with age. A 75-year old man can impregnate even a 16-year old girl. The man is simply infertile.
I pity any young girl that will inform you that she is getting married. The marriage is over already because you will dish envy and jealous-infested advice.

after 4 years now, man will be looking for sniper to commit suicide.

Polchiz:

That's it! You will definitely turn a man's home into a law court.
Please be reminded that aging does not make you an intellectual.
There are female illiterates and half-baked graduates who are 35 years and above while we have first class graduates who are 19 years.
There is no error in two adults getting married.
The girl was not forced to marry him.
Even in western countries that you are talking about a 40-year old man can marry a 20-year old girl.
Love is choice, allow people to make their choice in peace; everybody must not conform to your desires.

That's what we need to talk about not the excuses he put up there.

cococandy:
Its joy by impregnating. The question is can he satisfy her? Two different things

20 secs men everywhere. No wonder the women-child they married at 18 cheats on them like crazy. Impregnate my ass.

JoannaSedley:
20 secs men everywhere. No wonder the women-child they married at 18 cheats on them like crazy. Impregnate my ass.

Impregnating is always the consolation these men love to assure themselves. But the thing is, the whole motive behind going for a much younger girl is always centered around selfish desires. ME, ME, ME. I have no problems with this issue IF ONLY the intentions are noble and free from all forms of manipulation. Don't help someone with huge expectations in return. Why be attracted to someone because she is naive, young and inexperienced? Will she remain young, naive and inexperienced forever? I notice a lot of these young girls ageing faster with these older men. Except in cases where the men are really rich and know just how to pamper and take care of their younger wives .But in poverty, they age really fast. Why go for someone because you are looking for who to control with ease? Inferiority complex issues. Why can't you be with someone simply because of his/her personality, because you are both compatible with similar goals in marriage and the fact that he/she can make you a better person? Noble reasons! The reasons the op gave for wanting to marry her shows he has a lot to learn. To top it all, These men never think of the possibility of they not satisfying them s.exually. That is what being selfish does to you. You never want to think beyond yourself. And that is where expensive mistakes are made. This girl must have dated younger men before him. She will see the difference.

I watched two episodes of this show they call CHEATERS. An african American man complained of his girlfriend. This man is in his 60s. As he spoke, i noticed he had lost most of his dentition. When his girlfriend was caught with a younger man, do you know what she said? She said he can't get 'it' up without viagra. How can she continue like that? He's too old! I laughed my a.ss out.
The second episode was about a white older man complaining of his much younger girlfriend. Guess who she was caught with? His nephew. When she was caught, she said she just needed financial assistance at that moment. He was there and now she feels she cannot be with an older man.

Leave these men to keep consoling themselves. They love it the hard way.

HitSong:

5

lol....na so e de for my side too oh .

OlawaleBammie:


U re too brainy to tink like dis, are u a man or a woman, if u are a man i wish u can be my eye-to-eye friend and if u re a woman i wish i can marry you.

Wrong move. Never pay for no education for no Lady. She might leave you for better polished guys.

Op, the world is changing rapidly and things now are not the way it used to be like in the older years.

Don't get deceived that your lady wont change negatively towards you, when she gets to the higher institution. Because she will definitely do.

The marriage times of now is, what does each partner has to offer for a sustainable and happy marriage? Currently your lady has nothing to offer in marriage asides sex. Is that all you are after in your marriage? .

Take this as the truth, if you fully invest on this lady education and living, you might end up regretting your action. Either your married to her or not. She is not yet psychologically and emotionally balanced for the journey you about forcing her into.

No doubt, on a long term your good intentions will backfire at you. Unless you intend monitoring her like a spirit on campus (why give yourself high BP?) .

My advice, give her room to discover herself, let her mature mentally and emotionally maybe after 5-7years (if you intend wasting more time for a younger blood) . You can still assist as an helper to her education and living if your much capable. But don't use it as a condition to arrest her future and life.

Peace.

@ Op, I know you love this girl and you want marry her. But I will like to give you a piece of advice by telling you a true life story.

There was a man who was madly in love with a young beautiful damsel. To prove his love for her, he sponsored her through her tertiary institution. The girl graduated and did her NYSC. In the course of her service, she met a young handsome guy whom she loved so much and they started dating.

After her service, the man notified her family of his plan to come for introduction and TM. It was then the girl told her parents that she has somebody else that she want to marry.

However, her father advised her to forget about the young man and marry the man who waited for her and sponsored her education.

The girl was adamant and bent on marrying the young guy. The siad guy was newly employed in the Oll company after his service. To reach a comprise, the guy said he will refund and double all the money the man spent on her.The man rejected the offer.

To cut the story short, the girl eventually got married to the young guy, and after one month, somthing terrible happened. It was reported that the couple were in a car as the husband was driving, the wife was struggling with her husband on steering while the car was on motion. They had ghastly motor accident and both died on the spot. Though, the accussing finger was pointed to that man.

You can learn something from here.

breakerofchains:


"...older ladies are not submissive"

I don't need a soothsayer to tell me how much of a manipulative person you might be. You want a girl who you can control and because she's young right?You know she's still young so you can entice her with"marriage". I don't care if this is consensual or not., leave her alone! Leave her!

Dammit

Osheey

Khaleesi

JoannaSedley:
You married someone you will control not because of the lousy archaic African excuses you put up there. The fact remains that Africans are known for child marriages, we are used to seeing younger wives in africa, it has erroneously became a norm, that's why a supposedly educated man will give this as an excuse for marrying a girl ten years younger than you. You, and as well as most men needed maids that will submit to your whims and caprices, so marrying your agemates often scares you shirtless because of the fear of being outsmarted by a co-intellectual.
What happened to Obama and Michelle. Mark Zuckerberg and his wife, Bill and Hilary even our very own NOI and her husband and a whole lots of Nigerian intellectuals. They left an indelible impacts.

Let's ask Trump how he is faring with his model.......



Nauseating excuses.

Abet no use NOI husband. That man had a reputation for knocking the nurses in his hospital like it was going out of fashion.

GT07115:
Hi peeps, I am in love with an 18 years old lady who is from a very poor background as mine, I will be 30 this year and I intend settling down maritally this year or early next year, I would have loved her to gain admission before doing anything marriage with her.

I have discussed going back to school with her and getting a trade along, by her consent to it I have gave her money to enroll for jamb and NECO exam which will make her secure admission this year, the jamb result is out and OK pending NECO exam which will start next week.

My problem is the parent are financially handicapped to contribute a dime to her education and we are not married that means the whole stuff is on my head, I would have loved to marry this year if she was already in school or a graduate, I am the first son with responsibility of putting my younger ones through school. I feel I will be shouldering a lot of responsibility, the relationship is just one way sided and the parents don't give a breathing space whenever she spends some hours late in my house, like reminding me we are not married, the whole thing is that I love her, she is a lady I can talk to, and very young and beautiful.

Brother please and please,if you want her to go to school,you have to marry her first and make sure she has given birth to 2 kids before she gets admitted in school....Otherwise,guys in school will upgrade her to latest version and she wouldn't see any need to marry you,despite the fact that you have spent heaven and earth on her

ornicus:


Abet no use NOI husband. That man had a reputation for knocking the nurses in his hospital like it was going out of fashion.

What you posted has no bases with the subject of discourse sir.
The people I mentioned married their agemate and were able to achieve greatness. They pulled through any problems they must have encountered in the course of their marriages with maturity...infidelity included. Can't say the same of others who married trophy wives and husbands.

mapet:


I like your response and "Jare".

thanks jare