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My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her - Romance (4) - Nairaland

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See The Mail I Just Received Today From Pakistan Woman. I Can't Trust Her / Fiancee Was Violated But I Found It Hard To Trust Her Again / This Is Why No woman Should Trust Her Man With Any lady. (2) (3) (4)

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Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by micflo28(m): 8:38am On Nov 19, 2019
You really don't know this girl. Extend that marriage date and get to know her properly. You guys were apart briefly and she did all this awful things. And to be fair to her, what did you also do while you guys were apart. When you guys understand how compatible the devil in u guys are, then proceed with the marriage plans. Get to know the worst you guys are capable of doing when the marriage is at its lowest ebb. Its not just about her, also know what you can do when you at far away from her and what she can do when you lose your job, broke, sick or paralyzed. Don't rush into that marriage because others are doing so. Take your time and learn more about yourselves.

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Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by BRATISLAVA: 8:38am On Nov 19, 2019
DonHummer:
if your only problem is the lie then forgive her cause she still told you the truth. if eventually you decide to find another woman who will not lie to you then you are surely wasting your time..she told you the truth cause she knows how much you hate lies and she has got a conscience. Trust me no lady will easily tell you she had an abortion.
next time she will do it again and come and tell him the truth. But has that stopped the problem? No
Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by taf4u4me(m): 8:38am On Nov 19, 2019
coolguy4christ:
My girlfriend and I had issues sometime last year which eventually led to a break up. Early this year, we made up. I initiated the make up because I still loved her even though, it was she who ended the relationship.

When we started again, I told her I wanted a fresh start and that she should come out clean with me of whatever I need to know when we were apart. She knows how much I emphasize sincerity as I hate lies. She confided in me, that she had sex with a guy whom she dated briefly when we were apart but that she used protection. I believed her and didn't really bother myself because we were not together when it happened.

Few months later, I proposed to her and she accepted my marriage proposal. Since then, the relationship has been beautiful and we have become better as we were previously before the break up. We are actually planning our wedding in a few months.

Yesterday, she confessed to me that she had an abortion while we were apart. That she lied about using protection and that she got pregnant and aborted the baby.

Since then, I have mixed feelings for her:

Firstly, I am strongly against abortion and she knows that. Secondly, She lied to me!

The second reason is actually why I am more angry with her. She has lied to me previously and I don't know if I can believe and trust her again.

She has been very remorseful and she told me she came out clean because she wants to set everything right before we get married.

The issue here is that I don't know how can I trust her again?
bros she didn't lie to you... after all she confessed that she had sex with another guy when you were apart,so what else...Infact she's a legend

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Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by jaxxy(m): 8:38am On Nov 19, 2019
coolguy4christ:
My girlfriend and I had issues sometime last year which eventually led to a break up. Early this year, we made up. I initiated the make up because I still loved her even though, it was she who ended the relationship.

When we started again, I told her I wanted a fresh start and that she should come out clean with me of whatever I need to know when we were apart. She knows how much I emphasize sincerity as I hate lies. She confided in me, that she had sex with a guy whom she dated briefly when we were apart but that she used protection. I believed her and didn't really bother myself because we were not together when it happened.

Few months later, I proposed to her and she accepted my marriage proposal. Since then, the relationship has been beautiful and we have become better as we were previously before the break up. We are actually planning our wedding in a few months.

Yesterday, she confessed to me that she had an abortion while we were apart. That she lied about using protection and that she got pregnant and aborted the baby.

Since then, I have mixed feelings for her:

Firstly, I am strongly against abortion and she knows that. Secondly, She lied to me!

The second reason is actually why I am more angry with her. She has lied to me previously and I don't know if I can believe and trust her again.

She has been very remorseful and she told me she came out clean because she wants to set everything right before we get married.

The issue here is that I don't know how can I trust her again?

She lied to to yes bt she was the same person that came back uncoerced to tell u the truth cos u wanted to take a big step with her and she felt it was only right to be straight with u.

I don’t know how long this period was inbtwn both confessions cos that may play a part in determining her sincerity.

Sm gals do same things she has done bt never talk about it so u have sm1 sincere or ready to change in that regard.

U can get angry, u can scold her so she knows that was reckless bt u might still need to forgive her and if u love her move ahead with her. It’s ur choice.

Modified: On second thought she broke up with u, u initiated a come back months after and she accepted bt she she dated and not only dat got pregnant and had an abortion when u were separated. That’s all whole lot of drama. Why was she so reckless and is her coming back to u a sincere note? Why didn’t she say the truth at 1st. These are major concerns and I think u should be careful and know exactly the type of gal she is before making any major move.

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Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by Nobody: 8:39am On Nov 19, 2019
Magicians:
How can you live with a girl willing to have a no sex relationship with you but willing to Bleep another ?! Anytime any girl tells me she is interested in a no sez relationship I instinctively reply am okay with that so long you will be a virgin when we get married. If she can't grant my request, hers does not deserve to be granted as well. I am sorry I just can't date a girl that believe another should be more entitled to all she as got to give than me when such person is not offering anything beta but again that is me. I do not believe I'm love rather deal on sincerity n fairness.

I hope you’re not a Christian. Because you also don’t deserve the grace and mercy of God.
Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by stickle(m): 8:40am On Nov 19, 2019
donbachi:
As if u no fvck anoda wen una break up...confess ur own make we see if d relationship no go borrow legs.

I can't help but laugh. You are something else.
Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by Poanan: 8:40am On Nov 19, 2019
coolguy4christ:
My girlfriend and I had issues sometime last year which eventually led to a break up. Early this year, we made up. I initiated the make up because I still loved her even though, it was she who ended the relationship.

When we started again, I told her I wanted a fresh start and that she should come out clean with me of whatever I need to know when we were apart. She knows how much I emphasize sincerity as I hate lies. She confided in me, that she had sex with a guy whom she dated briefly when we were apart but that she used protection. I believed her and didn't really bother myself because we were not together when it happened.

Few months later, I proposed to her and she accepted my marriage proposal. Since then, the relationship has been beautiful and we have become better as we were previously before the break up. We are actually planning our wedding in a few months.

Yesterday, she confessed to me that she had an abortion while we were apart. That she lied about using protection and that she got pregnant and aborted the baby.

Since then, I have mixed feelings for her:

Firstly, I am strongly against abortion and she knows that. Secondly, She lied to me!

The second reason is actually why I am more angry with her. She has lied to me previously and I don't know if I can believe and trust her again.

She has been very remorseful and she told me she came out clean because she wants to set everything right before we get married.

The issue here is that I don't know how can I trust her again?

She did not lie to you. She knew the gravity of what she committed, she still has a conscience. Do you think it is easy to say that to someone? She did not tell you cos she was not sure of how you would take it. Now you just confirmed her fears. If God is to mark our iniquity who will stand? Don't repeat that word LIE again. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. There is no perfect person in this world.

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Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by Shanana1(m): 8:40am On Nov 19, 2019
donchrisville:
Dude its quite a difficult scenario though. But i tell you this....in marriage trust comes first before love. you see this love shacking you guys now, give it 2 or 3 yrs in the marriage it fizzles and you guys are back to reality.
What keeps a marriage is that friendship loyalty and trust. Trust is the basis of marriage though.
If you would always weigh everything a partner tells you out of distrust, then you both are not fit to be in a relationship, talk more of marriage.\
Dude you wont be happy if you end up living that life. Theres no joy in always investigating anything your loved one tells you.

I feel maybe you can put her to a test of your own again, and check if she passes it without lying. Maybe she's changed or maybe she's not.
So put it to test

Bro as for the abortion, just forget that one, Its a mistake
without a doubt more than 60% ladies have gone through it. Either operation or drug.
If you've taken postinor before, you've committed abortion. So just move on with that...don't judge her with regards to that
Yes, u re right. But on the other hand I believe what make the woman to confess is because she think the guy might know that she did abortion later. Why stop her from confessing the first time he demanded for truth, it means she can only say the truth when something is attached and she will still do it again..women are more secretive than men. What I think he should do is to put the marriage on hold and think if he can live a woman that is secretive..

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Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by rosalieene(f): 8:41am On Nov 19, 2019
coolguy4christ:


She is not promiscuous, though one can only speak for one's self. I don't think that was the case at bolded. We were having recurrent arguments at the time, I myself needed a break then too, I just couldn't let go because I still loved her and wanted us to work.
dont take the advices here.
posting the problem here was an error.
she lied to you then because the relationship hasn't moved to the next stage. For her to reveal it, means she wants to be truthful. I am telling you as a lady, 80% of ladies will never reveal that they had abortion, they will rather carry the secret to their grave so far there was no damage or complications.
you know her personally than those calling her a hoe here. your relationship is beautiful, let the past remain in the past and rebuild that trust. Dont let the devil come in and scatter your marriage plan.

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Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by makydebbie(f): 8:41am On Nov 19, 2019
coolguy4christ:
My girlfriend and I had issues sometime last year which eventually led to a break up. Early this year, we made up. I initiated the make up because I still loved her even though, it was she who ended the relationship.

When we started again, I told her I wanted a fresh start and that she should come out clean with me of whatever I need to know when we were apart. She knows how much I emphasize sincerity as I hate lies. She confided in me, that she had sex with a guy whom she dated briefly when we were apart but that she used protection. I believed her and didn't really bother myself because we were not together when it happened.

Few months later, I proposed to her and she accepted my marriage proposal. Since then, the relationship has been beautiful and we have become better as we were previously before the break up. We are actually planning our wedding in a few months.

Yesterday, she confessed to me that she had an abortion while we were apart. That she lied about using protection and that she got pregnant and aborted the baby.

Since then, I have mixed feelings for her:

Firstly, I am strongly against abortion and she knows that. Secondly, She lied to me!

The second reason is actually why I am more angry with her. She has lied to me previously and I don't know if I can believe and trust her again.

She has been very remorseful and she told me she came out clean because she wants to set everything right before we get married.

The issue here is that I don't know how can I trust her again?

How old are you? You can't make certain decisions for yourself?

You've brought strangers from nowhere and little children to come decide your life for you over here.
When you make a decision based on what they say here and it comes back to haunt you, I hope these same people will be here to console you.

You want sincerity and you got it now you're complaining.

2 Likes

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by Nobody: 8:41am On Nov 19, 2019
1StopRudeness:



The guy is one of those over gentle guy...ddnt you see where he said he has not had sex with her or any other person....the maga is running no sex relationship with a sexually active and abortion committing lady.....if that’s not stupidity, then I don’t know what is.....
The worst calamity that can befall a man is to tie himself to a woman that is more 'open eyed' or more 'out there' than him. Any correct guy man can spot it in a few minutes. As a gee, you no suppose follow babe wey soji or experience pass you for these worldly affairs. Only mugus flout this golden rule.

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Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by Pegzzyg(f): 8:41am On Nov 19, 2019
Please, don't disagree. I have a married friend who took Postinor 2 & still got pregnant. Give your own advice to the Op & move on... Regards,
Anfieldboss:


I disagree with you on this. Postinor is a contraceptive, it prevents pregnancy. If you say Postinor is abortion, then all other family planning methods are also abortion.
Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by buzorcharles(m): 8:42am On Nov 19, 2019
make sure she is pregnant b4 u wed. some bad abortion can hurt badly
Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by Beverlyjean(f): 8:42am On Nov 19, 2019
She broke up with u cos of the same guy that got her pregnant .. the thing was still shacking her then ... I'm sure the boy was showing her so much love... But the moment the nigger tasted the pussi and got her pregnant , thats when he took off ... She then regretted leaving u ... She aborted the preg ... Realised she made a mistake by leaving u for him... U came back and she accepted shaparly ... Prodigal gf ... Smh

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Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by Coldie(m): 8:42am On Nov 19, 2019
To me, she told u the truth, this is something she could have let die. And u would never know about.

She came out plain since u guys were getting married. If u know u love her continue.

But if u know that since u guys started ur dating she has never had an abortion for u before, but had for someone else in just that brief time u guys were apart, and u have a stance against abortion, to me bounce.

But how sure are u that the next girl hasn't had an abortion too but hiding it.
Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by Shanana1(m): 8:42am On Nov 19, 2019
Shanana1:

Yes, u re right. But on the other hand I believe what make the woman to confess is because she think the guy might know that she did abortion later. What stop her from confessing the first time he demanded for truth, it means she can only say the truth when something is attached and she will still do it again..women are more secretive than men. What I think he should do is to put the marriage on hold and think if he can live with a woman that is secretive cos she'll definitely do it again and again....
Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by Chubhie: 8:43am On Nov 19, 2019
Eleyi gidi gan o....

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by bethyz(m): 8:44am On Nov 19, 2019
If you want to marry her marry her forget all this stories joor.


What happened when you separated should have stayed in the past, now you cant deal with it.

Na the girl no smart her mouth to lose and she will lose the marriage.

All this guys that say tell me tell me DONT EVER TELL SHIT. They cant deal with it. Just like this one. He wants to know yet the cant deal with it.

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Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by pacespot(m): 8:44am On Nov 19, 2019
Gaggi:
No sex relationship with you, yet she has unprotected sex with another and you are in love. F00ls will always exist in abundance. Please take her to the alter immediately.
I think the hard core rap of the 90's we used to listen to helped shape us into men. we used the lyrics to help us through heart breaks and the way the rappers talked about women shaped our mentality. I don't understand the category of young men we have now. An embarrassment and a disgrace to real men.

I tell you most men out there are just puzzy, they are weak because they cannot confide in themselves or other men. So they seek solace in women through unplanned relationship or marriage. The word LOVE that people bandy about that many don't know the meaning. How can you say you love someone that is taking you for granted? I think it has to do with insecurity issue.

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Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by BRATISLAVA: 8:45am On Nov 19, 2019
pocohantas:


She could have kept silent and someone else will? tongue

What if that is the case? Why do we most times/always assume, people confess out of GOODWILL?
I see it as she doesn't want the relationship anymore. The confession us to put him off. I don't know why people always ask what to do when someone comes to them, can't they smell the coffee? The person doesn't want you. And will repeat the same act, after all, they didn't really want you but you came back begging them and they had no choice

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Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by Olakunleyakub(m): 8:45am On Nov 19, 2019
Pls who is this person?
The best advise of the year so far
Male or female
donchrisville:
Dude its quite a difficult scenario though. But i tell you this....in marriage trust comes first before love. you see this love shacking you guys now, give it 2 or 3 yrs in the marriage it fizzles and you guys are back to reality.
What keeps a marriage is that friendship loyalty and trust. Trust is the basis of marriage though.
If you would always weigh everything a partner tells you out of distrust, then you both are not fit to be in a relationship, talk more of marriage.\
Dude you wont be happy if you end up living that life. Theres no joy in always investigating anything your loved one tells you.

I feel maybe you can put her to a test of your own again, and check if she passes it without lying. Maybe she's changed or maybe she's not.
So put it to test

Bro as for the abortion, just forget that one, Its a mistake
without a doubt more than 60% ladies have gone through it. Either operation or drug.
If you've taken postinor before, you've committed abortion. So just move on with that...don't judge her with regards to that

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by Slimdan360: 8:46am On Nov 19, 2019
Only God knows why majority of Nairalanders derive pleasure in breaking peoples relationship, each time they are asked for relationship advise,op only u know ur fiance and u alone can know if to continue with marriage or stop here,stop leaving her fate to people who barely know her, Follow ur heart and make the right decision,but I don't even understand u o,u told somebody u hate lies,the person said the truth and u are still asking if you should continue the relationship,why were you asking for the truth when you know fully well u can't live with it,abi u asked her for the truth so u could see reasons to break up with her,na wa for u o
Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by Thegamingorca(m): 8:46am On Nov 19, 2019
coolguy4christ:
My girlfriend and I had issues sometime last year which eventually led to a break up. Early this year, we made up. I initiated the make up because I still loved her even though, it was she who ended the relationship.

When we started again, I told her I wanted a fresh start and that she should come out clean with me of whatever I need to know when we were apart. She knows how much I emphasize sincerity as I hate lies. She confided in me, that she had sex with a guy whom she dated briefly when we were apart but that she used protection. I believed her and didn't really bother myself because we were not together when it happened.

Few months later, I proposed to her and she accepted my marriage proposal. Since then, the relationship has been beautiful and we have become better as we were previously before the break up. We are actually planning our wedding in a few months.

Yesterday, she confessed to me that she had an abortion while we were apart. That she lied about using protection and that she got pregnant and aborted the baby.

Since then, I have mixed feelings for her:

Firstly, I am strongly against abortion and she knows that. Secondly, She lied to me!

The second reason is actually why I am more angry with her. She has lied to me previously and I don't know if I can believe and trust her again.

She has been very remorseful and she told me she came out clean because she wants to set everything right before we get married.

The issue here is that I don't know how can I trust her again?



You selfish ingrate. She accepted your pitiful proposal despite not interested in you which was why she broke up with you before and now you are here feeling like you have a çhoice when infact you were on your knees begging her for a second chance.

So you now want to remind her about it abi is that so? Carry on she will leave you without remorse
Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by babyfaceafrica: 8:47am On Nov 19, 2019
Poanan:


She did not lie to you. She knew the gravity of what she committed, she still have a conscience. Do you think it is easy to say that to someone? She did not tell you cos she was not sure of how you would take it. Now you just confirmed her fears. If God is to mark our iniquity who will stand? Don't repeat that word LIE again. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. There is no perfect person in this world.
There is no perfect person in this world


True,but that does not mean we should marry a liar and cheat..it is easy to forgive,but forget is another thing....there is nothing like peace of mind
Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by Lionpikin(m): 8:49am On Nov 19, 2019
Gaggi:
No sex relationship with you, yet she has unprotected sex with another and you are in love. F00ls will always exist in abundance. Please take her to the alter immediately.
I think the hard core rap of the 90's we used to listen to helped shape us into men. we used the lyrics to help us through heart breaks and the way the rappers talked about women shaped our mentality. I don't understand the category of young men we have now. An embarrassment and a disgrace to real men.
bros, those kind guys dey annoy me like mad, too weak to be called a man, he is still defending the bitch....it's guys like these that will happily raise another guy kids in the name of loving their mother... can you imagine? shame no go even let me talk this kind thing come out....

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Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by alawi5k: 8:50am On Nov 19, 2019
coolguy4christ:


Yeah she loves me and she wants our marriage to be built on truth. I think I have already forgiven her, but the issue I have is forgetting what she has done and be able to trust her completely again.
We are all human. It is only God that forgive and forget. Take her to hospital and ascertain that the abortion was properly done.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by poweredcom(m): 8:50am On Nov 19, 2019
These ladies of today I just don't understand them their ways are just too cunny

These girl are so loose that anybody can wash Dem n bang Dem ...again beware of them many are undercover oloshos who can do anytin for money ..

That is why one of my guy said he can't wife a Nigerian girl

4 Likes

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by djoe21(m): 8:50am On Nov 19, 2019
pocohantas:


She could have kept silent and someone else will? tongue

What if that is the case? Why do we most times/always assume, people confess out of GOODWILL?

Thanks very much. You are intelligent. Some people actually confess for selfish reasons.

Not saying that's the case here though as I don't know.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by RTSC: 8:51am On Nov 19, 2019
Believe me, I can never marry a lady that did this to me.

But that is just me.

Not everybody can be wise.

1 Like

Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by Brodagovernor(m): 8:52am On Nov 19, 2019
Going by what you narrated here, she ended the relationship at first( even though you didn't tell us the reason). Then you initiated the reconciliation. During the time you were apart, she moved on. Apparently you didn't. I know you know the truth but you have decided to live in denial. But I will tell you. She actually got pregnant to hook down the other guy, only for her to be disappointed. Out of shame, embarrassment, resentment and hatred, she aborted the pregnancy. Then you like a saviour, came back only to ask her hand in marriage. The truth is she has never been into you 100 percent. You her just her plan B if not C. I don't really understand why people are incapable of moving on and never look back. There are millions of ladies out there that can make you love drunk than what you are feeling now. I can forgive all things but definitely not infidelity, let alone one that led to abortion. The ball is your court. Its your call. You will be the one living with her.

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Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by Lionpikin(m): 8:53am On Nov 19, 2019
donbachi:
deputy Jesus...clap 4 ur sef.
Bros this one na mumu, nor be deputy Jesus, bros J no go try that shit....Bros J was celibate from beginning to the end, if he was going to get married, he would have married someone they were on the same level, but our dear op wants to marry someone who is sexually active while he is celibate and at the same time being in a relationship with her....too much stupidity if you ask me

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Re: My Fiancee Lied To Me, Now I Find It Hard To Trust Her by Nobody: 8:55am On Nov 19, 2019
cenaman:
grin If I no marry virgin wetin i gain? ashawo everywhere.
You wey dey find virgin to marry, shey you be virgin?

1 Like

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