pocohantas:
You sure say she wan marry you?

Na November be this. Men go land next month.Ugo China and co...

Abi she just wan discharge you. She kuku know say you love am. Na to slam you one heavy confession.

Be like I will go tell my guy this kind thing. Make e use im hand breakup.

No even mind me. My head dey jam.

You spoke my mind. Coming from a lady op should take this view seriously. The lady loves you proverbly not for marriage but as part of her exploration spree. She told you bitter so called truths to check your rush for marriage. How old is she? Very genius of her

cenaman:
If I no marry virgin wetin i gain? ashawo everywhere.

U b virgin?

no sex relationship and another guy freely bangd her and here you are proposing, my brother, i have no advice for you.

At least she told you the truth eventually, though late.what of if she didn't tell you at all and dies with it, won't you still marry her, so why then the second thought.

am not asking u not to marry her neither am I asking u to drop her but pls don't come back to create a thread on how your babe is sleeping around with guys and lying to you

hodeejulia:
At least she told you the truth eventually, though late.what of if she didn't tell you at all and dies with it, won't you still marry her, so why then the second thought.

they started a no sex relationship at first, the nagging was too much, they quit, she went ahead, bleeped, and aborted, he begged to have her back, she came back, they continue no sex relationship again....think about it

coolguy4christ:


I did not sleep with another girl whilst we were apart, in fact since we got back, I have not slept with her. It's a no-sex relationship.

She actually took a break 4rm u to Kpansh and come back

Lightway:
And ubunja said

That breakup she initiated for no reason

yhur head dey dere jor.....since I started following Ubunja, Harddon and Martinez, my life has changed for good....when you tell people like the op to follow these people and apply what they read to their lives, they would start arguing, just imagine what a girl who is probably his kid sis agemate is doing to him!!! The girl knows he is a weakling and she is taking full advantage of that, if they eventually get married, she will cheat on him countless times, she might even give him children that are not his to raise....what a shame

Listen to your heart. Can you forget her if you end it all?

Dear Brother,

I would still give her some credibility. She mustered the courage to tell you; you did not find out on your own. Some truths are not that simple to spill. You were working to get back together and she wanted to get your trust again before spilling her hard truth upon you. We all have been here before and I suggest you cut her some slack especially if you really love her. She had carried this pain in her heart and when she could not do it anymore, she confided in you the one person her heart seeks. Do not desert that heart any longer, bring her into the fold of tenderness and start again anew.

OP I don't wanna say anything before but here is my story.....once upon a Time I met a girl that matches the kinda woman I wanna marry plus she was a virgin, n I was drooling over her, spending my time, money, and love on her, oh yea she doesn't seem.to care but I keep showing her I love her, so we always nah as well, one day she went for nysc, and after everything we broke up.....lo n behold she chatted me up one day and said she still want me, asking if I can still take her back if she was disvirgined....lol......

people saying she confessed outta good will wouldn't take her back if they were in your shoes, op is definitely playing with fire

coolguy4christ:
My girlfriend and I had issues sometime last year which eventually led to a break up. Early this year, we made up. I initiated the make up because I still loved her even though, it was she who ended the relationship.

When we started again, I told her I wanted a fresh start and that she should come out clean with me of whatever I need to know when we were apart. She knows how much I emphasize sincerity as I hate lies. She confided in me, that she had sex with a guy whom she dated briefly when we were apart but that she used protection. I believed her and didn't really bother myself because we were not together when it happened.

Few months later, I proposed to her and she accepted my marriage proposal. Since then, the relationship has been beautiful and we have become better as we were previously before the break up. We are actually planning our wedding in a few months.

Yesterday, she confessed to me that she had an abortion while we were apart. That she lied about using protection and that she got pregnant and aborted the baby.

Since then, I have mixed feelings for her:

Firstly, I am strongly against abortion and she knows that. Secondly, She lied to me!

The second reason is actually why I am more angry with her. She has lied to me previously and I don't know if I can believe and trust her again.

She has been very remorseful and she told me she came out clean because she wants to set everything right before we get married.

The issue here is that I don't know how can I trust her again?

It had for human to make amend for wrongs already committed. If you have to condemn her to death for lying then that will only be fair if only you have never lied to someone in your entire existence. She lied doesn't mean she is not trustworthy sometimes we do this to protect something or afraid of losing someone. The obvious truth here bro is that you are not matured enough to bear the TRUTH, now her fears have come to pass. I guess she would have allow you wallow in the dark of her past life since her good gesture in telling her husband to be a simple truth is making him have ambivalence or change of mind about everything, probably you never love her that much. Bro can you swear you never get intimate with her (sex). If yes then remember sex b4 marriage is FORNICATION and someone who commit ABORTION is not worst. (All have sin)... Go and marry your wife, May God bless your union.

coolguy4christ:


I did not sleep with another girl whilst we were apart, in fact since we got back, I have not slept with her. It's a no-sex relationship.

I know you're a coolguy4christ but your bar has been set too high especially for this girl.

The fact that she broke off with you, hooked up with another and came back to you means she doesn't fully agree with your no sex relationship status. She was just putting up to you because she liked you and know you are a good guy.

2ndly, the reason there is a white or black lie is that some lies are important while others are not, you should be able to differentiate. This girl lies to you because of who you are. She has done things shes not proud of and she knows you will not like it. Yet, to prevent doing more bad things to you (keeping a secret), she came clean. As far as I'm concerned, she is a better person than you who "claim" to be self righteous but judge other people's actions.

You set your own rules and its easy for you but you dont want to know how it is not easy for you partner. You will make a bad husband since you care only about yourself, your desires, your satisfaction and your religion.

Maybe she broke off with you because she needed sex which you didnt give. You didn't give her sex which she tried to suppress, you didn't know her problem or cared to find out or encourage her to remain celibate. You forced your lifestyle on her and expect her to suck it up.

Op, enough of the rules and being judgemental. She sounds like a stronger person than you give her credit. Work on yourself and help her become the person you want her to be or find someone without a flaw and exactly as you want. She knows you, she has put up with you, appreciate her and do the needful (end her misery ASAP).

Guy I will say she was wrong and wanted you to know the truth, at the same time she's sorry and really need and love you, not just for the trust sake but opening of secrets also. What ever it is, what if she did not tell you, you will take it everything is alright, you will not even know it for the first place, you will have the right to quit the relationship if you head outside. Man I know how painful it is, if she was just after something you have trust me you will never know this but she was after what you don't have for her and that is love. If you really love her bros, you will always be ready to forgive her, she's not perfect just as you are not also. This kind of lady will end up being the best for you, yes you might leave her again bros but watch out that the one you will love much again might be worst. Guy I have alot to say but my N/L account is not made for only one post, I believe a word is enough for the wise, and if I were the one I will forgive because of tomorrow I may be the victim.

coolguy4christ:


I did not sleep with another girl whilst we were apart, in fact since we got back, I have not slept with her. It's a no-sex relationship.

You need to get things right first. I think the lady is being scared to lose you, I also think she's a changed person. She could have kept the whole thing from you and things will be fine with you.

She doesn't want to keep any secret from you before marriage, and that means she values you.

Sit her down and let her know you love her deeply and respect her so much. Let her know that there's no chance for distrust anymore.

Marry her.

You made so much sense until this last statement!Postinor is an EMERGENCY CONTRACEPTIVE,it is not an abortion pill...so taking postinor has nothing to do with committing abortion [quote author=donchrisville post=84137296]
If you've taken postinor before, you've committed abortion.

Must you come here to waste our time and data?are you a baby? My friend do what you have in mind to do and stop disturbing us

OladimejiRufai:
She lied to you before and she did it again despite that you asked her to come out clean.

Now this is what I observe.

Your fiancee may not be a bad girl or a "liar" in total sense. The fact that she even told you before marriage somehow proves that because she could have kept it from you forever.

But she is the type that will LIE to cover up mistakes from you or anyone and save herself from shame. This is the kind of person she is perceived to be.

So the question is are you ready to live with such a person?

It could happen that one of your uncles or brothers will visit your home, temptations will set in and they will have sex, she's the type that will hide it from you.

As she goes about her daily activities, she might meet a guy and have a fling with her, get pregnant and even give birth and present it as your own to save herself from shame.

It could happen that she hooks up with her ex especially after there's an unsettled misunderstanding with you, something plays after another and they have sex and may even be continually doing that but hide it from you.

I only gave those as examples based on possibility. Your fiancee might not be the prosmicuous type. But it still cannot be ruled out totally.

So you are the one who should ask yourself if you want to live with such a person as couples.

Good luck

u ar intelligent

coolguy4christ:


I did not sleep with another girl whilst we were apart, in fact since we got back, I have not slept with her. It's a no-sex relationship.

And this was where the issues began in your relationship.....

rosalieene:
haven't you lied to her before

I haven't

maiahsaiah:


I hope you’re not a Christian. Because you also don’t deserve the grace and mercy of God.

You don't have the right to say Someone doesn't deserve grace and mercy of God bcoz of their actions... Don't u ever say that again, Your reasoning proves man will always be man, judgemental and wicked. God is God, and not man. Peace!

adanny01:


I know you're a coolguy4christ but your bar has been set too high especially for this girl.

The fact that she broke off with you, hooked up with another and came back to you means she doesn't agree with your no sex relationship status. She was just putting up to you because she liked you and know you are a good guy.

2ndly, the reason there is a white or black lie is that some lies are important while others are not, you should be able to differentiate. This girl lies to you because of who you are. She has done things shes not proud of and she knows you will not like it. Yet, to prevent doing more bad things to you (keeping a secret), she came clean. As far as am concerned, she is a better person than you who "claim" to be self righteous but judge other peoples actions.

You set your own rules and its easy for you but you dont want to know how it is not easy for you partner. You will make a bad husband since you care only about yourself, your desires, your satisfaction and your religion.

Maybe she broke off with you because she needed sex which didnt give. You didn't give her sex and didn't know her problem or cared to find out and encourage her to remain celibated. You forced your lifestyle on her and expect her to suck it up.

Op, enough of the rules and being judgemental. She sounds like a stronger person than you give her credit. Work on yourself and help her become the person you want her to be. She knows you, she has put up with you, appreciate her and do the needful.

Bro u need an award for this statement.....!! You have said it all

coolguy4christ:


She is not promiscuous, though one can only speak for one's self. I don't think that was the case at bolded. We were having recurrent arguments at the time, I myself needed a break then too, I just couldn't let go because I still loved her and wanted us to work.

If she gives you peace of mind , why are you contemplating marrying her ? The fact that she told you is enough prove to me that she loves you so much .. forgive and get her to denounce such mistakes again okay !!!

I think I should share a bit of my experience with you. I am just like you in that I hate lies and especially coming from the woman I want to spend my life with. The moment we agreed to get married (I told her straight when I first approached her that I wanted to marry her) I made it clear to her that I hate lies and that she should always come clean to me. I told her never to be afraid to tell me the truth at all times.As my wedding with my wife was unfolding I became suspicious that she had had a child before we met. Immediately we got married I saw the proof but I kept quiet. I was already in the marriage and I was determined to make it work.

About four five year later just after we had slept together she opened up to me that she had a daughter before she met me and had kept it away from me because she was afraid of what I might do. Thank God I had my suspicion and little proof. She made this confession with serious tears and crying. Even if I had not had my suspicion I wouldn't have been able to help it. Thank God it didn't come as a shock. I told her I knew about it and I told her its okay.

We have been married now 19 years going to 20 next year by God's grace. I am forever thankful to God that she's my wife. The daughter, now our daughter moved in with us about 7 years ago and she's such a darling even to my blood children. We are a wonderful family.


Back to your story. It is completely okay that she opened up to you about the abortion without pressure from you. In a sense she didn't lie to you but held back from telling you and willing told you even before you guys are married. I tell you one thing, women like that are not common. If you let go you may never find a woman like her. My counsel, one mistake don't make her a liar. She's go to go. Marry her and do have a blissful home

I can see u are extremely in chronic luv with her,the more they tell u the truth the more u dulge it... It's ur life and choice... Rembr life is like a coin which u can only spend once, spend it wisely...

Men sha!
At least she understood what marriage meant enough to come out straight.

You didn’t asked, she told you! She could have lied and not....

Well, leave her, start all over. Find love, date, get to know her, (if that’s going to be possible becuz, she might play you or have bad traits)

So you start again, find love, date, date ,

It may restart from beginning again o! (Maybe not)

When you reach stage to marry, you don clock 50 years!!!

Worth the try or not??

Think it over and make your decision!!!!!!
Goodluck.



Ps. You want my advice, I’d say leave her and date me!
Can’t wait to break your heart

CAN'T PEOPLE STAY WITHOUT SEX

IF I'M A WOMAN, I WILL NEVER OPEN MY LEGS TO ANY MAN

NO MAN WILL EVEN SEE MY PANTIES TALKLESS OF HAVING SEX WITH ME.

IF MEN COULD BE LIKE ME, ALL WOMEN MUST BE VIRGIN'S BY FIRE BY FORCE.

SOMETIMES I WONDER HOW WOMEN OPEN THEIR LEGS TO ANYONE THEY SEE

Anyway. No marriage is totally free of lies. one person in that relationship might have lied or still lying until he/she gets caught. My advice to you is that if you must marry that lady, run fertility test to make sure all is well with her womb, because in case things didnt go well she would claim she confessed to you earlier that she had an abortion. please be very careful. Good luck.

coolguy4christ:



Read the story again before you spew rubbish

broda have vex o. sorry na but u shd expet such from folks on this forum, most of dem are not well. I'm a woman who, by God's grace, values my faith and coming from that perspective, I'd say she was being sincere when she confessed to you. Many people have noted that, forgive her and rebuild with her.
Remember you're no saint and she probably knows that (or will come to realize that soon enough). Pray always and love her as Christ loves you: completely.

P.S if you can't bring yourself to trust her again, let her go. I pray she continues to be honest about her experience and that God sends her a man who'll value her for that.

Igetmyown247:
I don’t see why this is an issue. You both weren’t together at the time and she even had the courage to open up to you. Why making it a big deal?

Sh!t happens, let it go. Marry her or end things with her so she can find someone else who will cherish and appreciate her.

“She lied to me” so fckn what? Who doesn’t lie?

It's good you acknowledged you are speaking for yourself.