jumman:

My husband insists that his cousins must live with us permanently in our matrimonial home and i do not want themm to live with us. How do u i convince him to change his mind. We are newly weds and i dont think we need them to live with us, besides i hvae seen cases where they cause problems in the family. your comments are welcome.

2mch:

People should have children they can take care of. It is not the responsibility of you and your spouse to take care of other people's children. Having relatives living with you brings over familiarity, and then comes discontent. It is better to hire a help than 2 relatives of your spouse. I am also sure you people will be saving for the new baby, how will you be able to save adequately while taking care of the needs of your relatives? And you both still have to give your parents some money. . For a young couple, you are taking on too much.

obowunmi:

DO NOT AND I REPEAT DO NOT invite any family members into your home. If your husband can't take a stand, then you are in big trouble.

madoba:

LOL, Obowunmi have you been burnt before by extended family?

jumman:

He Feels they wld be useful for home chores since am pregnant, especiall washing and ironing his clothes, i tld him am capable of doing them.

jumman:

My husband insists that his cousins must live with us permanently in our matrimonial home and i do not want themm to live with us. How do u i convince him to change his mind. We are newly weds and i dont think we need them to live with us, besides i hvae seen cases where they cause problems in the family. your comments are welcome.

simpleseyi:

The cost of a washing machine is from 30,000 naira. I was at LG shop yesterday. So, you don't need relatives to do your washing, besides, husband's relatives will call you their wife and make you do all the work. I got married 4 months ago and it is ME and MY WIFE alone. Take it or leave it. Chidren should live with their parents and not with relatives. So, your husband cousins should live with their own parents. But don't forget that the husband is the head of the family, women liberation fighters should stay with their parents or live alone and not get married, for this reason, please BEG your husband to see reason with you. I repeat BEG your husband to see reason with you, NEVER EVER argue unnecessarily with your husband because THE HUSBAND IS ALWAYS RIGHT. That is my grandmother's policy and she lived with her husband for 70 years, the husband is now dead and my grandmother is still chopping the inheritance the husband left. So, submission to your husband also brings long life and prosperity.

GOODLUCK but not Jonathan

jumman:

He Feels they wld be useful for home chores since am pregnant, especiall washing and ironing his clothes, i tld him am capable of doing them.

simpleseyi:

The cost of a washing machine is from 30,000 naira. I was at LG shop yesterday. So, you don't need relatives to do your washing, besides, husband's relatives will call you their wife and make you do all the work. I got married 4 months ago and it is ME and MY WIFE alone.

simpleseyi:

i got married 3 months ago after d first month i was concieved and i told my husbby, normally we use to mak lov at least 3 to 4times aweek but during d first month of my pregnacy i couldnt feel myself whenever we mak lov i feel lik throw-up and i told my husbby to pls give me time. to my surprise, i checked his mail 3weeks ago and i noticed dt he has being seen another girl, they even described d way they us to bleep themselve, d hotel he use to tak d girl to and even his friend's house, he always lie to me dt he wnt com hom cos he has work to do at office, on sunday he wil alway tell me dt he has to be in office. pls wht can i do i dnt wnt to tell anybody pls he me. he's abt 35 yrs and am 28 we dated for 5yrs does dt mean i dnt really knw him or wht? Am using some poster address am nt on nairaland pls moderate post.

dayokanu:

Assuming your husband lived with their parents while growing up and he is burdened to repay the kindness.

You just need to have this discussion with your husband and try to negotiate, Maybe you can agree on just one of them coming to stay and be nice to the person.

You should have had this discussion before getting married and not now. Dont force your husband into making a decision cos 1. He might insist and thats the beginning of cracks in the house, 2. He might agree grudgingly but Thats also the beginning of war with his family

Your marriage is too young to start having issues

OAM4J:

This is one of the things that should have been agreed upon before marriage.
All you can do now is plead and try to convince your husband that you can manage without their help and how uncomfortable you are with the idea.

Outstrip:

My own is simple. Nobody is living in my house besides my children and my husband. If he cannot live without his cousins then they can move into another house together. When my Gadget does not feel as good anymore I will go and visit him and get my fix. mscheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew. Cousin ko cousin ni.

Siena:

The only family that will live in our home on a permanent basis, is myself, my wife and our children. That's the way it was with my parents, and it worked well for them. It's the poster's choice to voice displeasure. Those saying, "don't mind her" could do well to remember this.

maclatunji:

^^^ Bad advisers, a woman should not be quick to demand that her husband's relatives leave her home or should not come at all because it would end-up hurting her husband and making her in-laws enemies. Women need to be patient on many issues as long as they are not being abused or being taken for granted. The advice I have given can only help her build her home, that which you guys are giving will see her leaving that house broken and bitter.

Outstrip:
Why should a bunch of grown Bottom people go and live with another couple. It has nothing to do with building your home. The same goes for the womans family. Nobody should be exempt. The other thing is that most Nigerian relatives just don't have boundaries.