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Unmarried Women - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Woman Breaks Down Over Being Broke, Childless, And Unmarried At Age 30 / How Do I Tell My Unmarried Elder Sister That She Is Getting Too Old? / How Akwa Ibom Makes Their Daughters Unmarried Via Marriage List (2) (3) (4)

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Re: Unmarried Women by Monishaa: 7:25am On May 15, 2020
Jane Addams (1860-1935)

A progressive social reformer and activist, Jane Addams was on the frontline of the settlement house movement in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. She later became internationally respected for the peace activism that ultimately won her a Nobel Peace Prize in 1931, the first American woman to receive this honor.

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Re: Unmarried Women by sisisioge: 7:31am On May 15, 2020
Actually, it's a taboo for thoroughbred African women to shun marriage. They would rather marry someone if only to get divorce the next minute to at least mark the register and have children. We are yet to be bold enough to outrightly shun it and get away with it, without the society having our hides.

But the truth is, a woman who has the options of making money through a fulfilling career, have children and get attention from her preferred seex ( straight or ga) at anytime will rather stay single. In that case, marriage will only complicate her life.

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Re: Unmarried Women by AmazonTopaz(f): 7:32am On May 15, 2020
fieryy:


Loool grin

Honestly, their stories always leave me in awe. They paved the way for a lot of women and that must have required a lot of bravery. Especially, since I know they must not have only been victims of backlash from men, but also women of that time.
Their fights have not been in vain and should continue to not be in vain. The freedom of us women to decide how we want to live our lives should never be taking for granted.
Very true.

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Re: Unmarried Women by Monishaa: 7:32am On May 15, 2020
mrblessed:
Do you really know what "Victorian England" means? It means a period between 1837 and 1901, when Queen Victoria was on the throne. Even the British culture has evolved a great deal from that time to this moment, including their views on marriage. How is it still possible for one to live Victorian age? Not even for someone in West Africa. Or is it a thoughtless putdown to deflect a harmless, superior viewpoint?

It is true that our marriage system has been influenced by westerners through colonialism, still, there are vestiges of African values that have remained defiant in the face of this gruesome onslaught. One of them is respect and value for marriage. African marriage is not perfect but it is better to what is obtainable in the west. That is a consolation, despite the outsized influence of their culture on Africa.

First paragraph, you missed the point.
Second paragraph, your opinion.
Re: Unmarried Women by emmaodet: 7:32am On May 15, 2020
rockstarB:

How can someone fail in what he has no control over? Marriage comes after relationship and I tell you not everyone is lucky in that aspect. About business or education it is something you can improve on personally. Relationship isn't like that, individuals brings something to the table and if unfortunately a person keeps meeting potential partners that clearly will be bad in marriage nko? You just jump into it because you want to be married. Life is both fair and unfair.

Maybe, you have a point sha

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Re: Unmarried Women by bukatyne(f): 7:34am On May 15, 2020
Monishaa:


I thought exactly the same thing when I first saw this color combination, not on her though.

I have seen stranger ones that look so good.
Re: Unmarried Women by Biglittlelois(f): 7:34am On May 15, 2020
Arthur2021:

"A woman should marry " "A woman should not marry" are both constructs that cages people's choices
The traditional people are guilty of using the first statement.The non traditional (woke and feminists) are used to using the second statement.
Sadly the woke ones don't classify the second statement as oppressive as the first.

When one fights against people living out their "traditional beliefs",it is called enlightenment.
When one fights against people living their " modern beliefs " it is called oppression.

True enlightenment is giving room for those that wants to be traditional.

People like LadyGCrueDKilaB ,biglittlelois,dande55,ariza,fieryy ,liberalchick et Al that came for your head will never understand this.

We should live and let live.


Do you really lack attention that you had to mention me twice? Are you in my head to know what I understand and don't? Or you just want me to quote you to feel fulfilled?

Yes I came at her because of her views on certain things, so what do you want to do about it? Wail and cry till eternity? If you are pained at the outcome of that thread, go and write your long epistle to change your narrative about it, I don't know why you think anyone will be bothered with you, especially me,

I'll continue to comment negatively or positively on any thread i see fit no matter what a mere moniker think it is, if the moniker doesn't like negativity or disagreement, ignore or don't create a thread.

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Re: Unmarried Women by Monishaa: 7:35am On May 15, 2020
Rachel Armstrong

Armstrong (age 44) uses artificial cells that have life-like qualities (but are not fully alive) to create sustainable construction materials that can (hopefully) repair themselves after a crack, bend, or break. She thinks this type of technology could be used to prevent Venice from sinking. And, these semi-living materials would also take up carbon dioxide (a potent greenhouse gas that drives climate change) from the atmosphere.

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Re: Unmarried Women by Biglittlelois(f): 7:35am On May 15, 2020
Nice one Op.

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Re: Unmarried Women by Monishaa: 7:37am On May 15, 2020
Maria Spiropulu

Spiropulu (42) develops experiments to search for dark matter and other theories that go beyond the Standard Model, which describes how the particles we know of interact. Her work is helping to fill in holes and deficiencies in that model. She works with data from the Large Hadron Collider.

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Re: Unmarried Women by Omoluabi16(m): 7:40am On May 15, 2020
SweetCunt97:
Most of them have partners but without the intricacies of "I Do". That they did not marry doesn't mean they led a lonely life
What exactly are the intricacies of 'I Do' ? All spheres of life has it's own intricacies. Health, work, friendship e t.c What exactly are the intricacies of 'I do' do you think these women dread so much. Commitment? the children? No clapback biko. I just want to learn something today my dear sweetcunt.
Re: Unmarried Women by bukatyne(f): 7:51am On May 15, 2020
sisisioge:
Actually, it's a taboo for thoroughbred African women to shun marriage. They would rather marry someone if only to get divorce the next minute to at least mark the register and have children. We are yet to be bold enough to outrightly shun it and get away with it, without the society having our hides.

But the truth is, a woman who has the options of making money through a fulfilling career, have children and get attention from her preferred seex ( straight or ga) at anytime will rather stay single. In that case, marriage will only complicate her life.

And weaken the society because:
1. It would promote promiscuity;
2. Lead to immoral children.

If they want to stay off marriage, then be like Paul or Queen Elizabeth.

This also applies to men.

We see the effect already.

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Re: Unmarried Women by crackland: 7:55am On May 15, 2020
I give you Nigerian women 15years.
Basic women who want to model their lives and choices in accordance with this minute sample of women of pedigree and status... una big English go change.

15years at most. cheesy

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Re: Unmarried Women by cococandy(f): 7:59am On May 15, 2020
mrblessed:
I merely refuted a simplistic glorification of single ladies of other cultures as a perfect example of what African women should be,
glorification? Avoid changing definitions. Stay with the facts. No one said african women ‘should’ be like single women of other cultures.

when we know that our women are naturally disposed to getting married and building a home.
are they all (all of them) really that way or do you guys (men and women) shame them into it to avoid the name calling and harassment? Be sincere with yourself. You don’t have to respond to that. Just introspection.

There should be no shame in desiring marriage as a lady, of course, with the right guy as you correctly noted..
I agree.

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Re: Unmarried Women by Hathor5(f): 8:00am On May 15, 2020
bukatyne:


And weaken the society because:
1. It would promote promiscuity;
2. Lead to immoral children.

If they want to stay off marriage, then be like Paul or Queen Elizabeth.

This also applies to men.

We see the effect already.


1. Promiscuity weakens the society? cheesy
2. Like Barack Obama, Alicia Keys, Barbara Streisand, Al Pacino, Stephen Colbert, Leonardo DiCaprio, Apollo Anton Ohno, Kevin Hart, Michael Phelps, Julia Roberts and many other successful and great people?

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Re: Unmarried Women by Biancah(f): 8:06am On May 15, 2020
bukatyne:


And weaken the society because:
1. It would promote promiscuity;
2. Lead to immoral children.

If they want to stay off marriage, then be like Paul or Queen Elizabeth.

This also applies to men.

We see the effect already.

Been married doesn't mean having godly /morally upright children, most of the rapists, thieves, killers were raised in a marriage with two parents.
As for promiscuity, what people choose to do with their private part is their business and their right.

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Re: Unmarried Women by Nobody: 8:06am On May 15, 2020
Hathor5:


1. Promiscuity weakens the society? cheesy
2. Like Barack Obama, Alicia Keys, Barbara Streisand, Al Pacino, Stephen Colbert, Leonardo DiCaprio, Apollo Anton Ohno, Kevin Hart, Michael Phelps, Julia Roberts and many other successful and great people?

Another opinion sold out as a fact. If we talk and disagree now, they'd accuse us of bullying her

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Re: Unmarried Women by Hathor5(f): 8:12am On May 15, 2020
fieryy:


Another opinion sold out as a fact. If we talk and disagree now, they'd accuse us of bullying her

The modus operandi on this forum. People make baseless statements all the time. They don't even care to back them. When challenged, you are given spurious statistical correlations or you are simply a bully. We live in a world of alternative facts. cheesy

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Re: Unmarried Women by sisisioge: 8:12am On May 15, 2020
bukatyne:


And weaken the society because:
1. It would promote promiscuity;
2. Lead to immoral children.

If they want to stay off marriage, then be like Paul or Queen Elizabeth.

This also applies to men.

We see the effect already.


There you have it! The warrior keeper of our societal belief grin.

Sister, promiscuity is everywhere even in the confines of marriage. Immoral children come out from the confines of marriage. Essentially, moral conduct is a personal choice of people regardless of their circumstances. Haven't you seen several married men and women flouting the rules in the majority? Haven't you seen dysfunctional homes even inside a marriage where husbands and wives are still together? No wonder once the thoroughbred Africans escape to countries with open minds about this ideal they quickly choose to live as they prefer.

It is really well.

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Re: Unmarried Women by cococandy(f): 8:17am On May 15, 2020
bukatyne:


And weaken the society because:
1. It would promote promiscuity;
2. Lead to immoral children.

If they want to stay off marriage, then be like Paul or Queen Elizabeth.

This also applies to men.

We see the effect already.


Morality = the concept of right and wrong. Doing bad versus doing good.
There’s nothing inherently right or wrong about having sex. It just is. A human biological phenomenon.

I’d say it’s immoral to use money meant for helping underprivileged children to buy oneself a luxury apartment because one has the power to do so without repercussion but it’s not the same as having sex with someone you’re not married to. That might be a sin based on your religious beliefs but not immoral in a true sense of what’s good and what’s bad.

May not be socially acceptable based on your society. Also doesn’t mean it a good or bad thing.

Like someone already said. Marriage may produce morally upstanding citizens or it may not.

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Re: Unmarried Women by Arthur2021: 8:26am On May 15, 2020
fieryy:


My friend, will you shut the f*ck up and eff your way out of my mentions?! Have we all forgotten how everything started?!

Nobody: ...

Literally nobody: .....

Nobody oooo: ...

Buka: I want to advise young ladies...

Perhaps you should have advised her to live and let others live.

But aren't you a hypocrite yourself? Otherwise, why am I even mentioned? To make matters worse, you even dragged an overflogged issue to another thread. Rubbish undecided
so when ladies tells others not to date broke men do you consider it as infringing on the ladies choice? Do you think it is live and let live?I have never seen anyone attacked for an advise let this before. Its a personal beef..
Some went ahead to say the moniker doesn't deserve to have kids

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Re: Unmarried Women by Acidosis(m): 8:29am On May 15, 2020
Just
sisisioge:


There you have it! The warrior keeper of our societal belief grin.

Sister, promiscuity is everywhere even in the confines of marriage. Immoral children come out from the confines of marriage. Essentially, moral conduct is a personal choice of people regardless of their circumstances. Haven't you seen several married men and women flouting the rules in the majority? Haven't you seen dysfunctional homes even inside a marriage where husbands and wives are still together? No wonder once the thoroughbred Africans escape to countries with open minds about this ideal they quickly choose to live as they prefer.

It is really well.


Most countries have laws in place against some of these things we consider as 'freedom'. For example, most countries have laws in place against pros.titution. It's not without a reason. Failure to provide adequate and a sane environment for children is punishable under the law. Sex in public spaces is punishable, just as rape is punishable under the penal code.

There are boundaries even in the midst of human rights and freedom. That you "own" your body doesn't give you the total right to do what you want with it. In Nigeria, you could be arrested for walking unclad, walking in public spaces without a nose mask even if you test negative, etc.

Moral choices is not completely in the hands of individuals. The government and, by extension, the society you belong have a role to play in terms of deciding what you do with your body.

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Re: Unmarried Women by Arthur2021: 8:33am On May 15, 2020
cococandy:
Except that the so called woke/feminist women have never said women should not marry. wink

Stay on the facts.
I checked your profile and saw USA. Except there are two different USA,and we reside in the two different USAs I will like to accept your claims as false

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Re: Unmarried Women by bukatyne(f): 8:34am On May 15, 2020
sisisioge:


There you have it! The warrior keeper of our societal belief grin.

1. Sister, promiscuity is everywhere even in the confines of marriage. Immoral children come out from the confines of marriage.

2. Essentially, moral conduct is a personal choice of people regardless of their circumstances.

3. Haven't you seen several married men and women flouting the rules in the majority?

4. Haven't you seen dysfunctional homes even inside a marriage where husbands and wives are still together?

5. No wonder once the thoroughbred Africans escape to countries with open minds about this ideal they quickly choose to live as they prefer.

It is really well.


@bold, I am for a greater society not 'keeper of societal beliefs'. The family is the bedrock or smallest unit of the society. Get the family right, and the society is better for it.

1. Promiscuity is everywhere because the society is broken; because people live their lives as they please. Ditto immoral children. That a person took the vows of matrimony does not mean they are moral or their character/moral defect is washed away. Bring it to Nigeria; they say all men are cheats; why is it easy for the men to get sex outside their marriages? What made these men unwilling to uphold their martial vows? Because 'everyone' is 'free' to do as they please. Everyone is free to do as they please sees 'woke' till a mother sees her 19 year old dancing naked on instagram, sleeping with a 50 year old for cash or a father sees his child with a sugar mommy older than his mother. Bobrisky is a entertainment personality; nobody prays to have a son like him. We are free till a 16 year old gets drunk, drives and kills a whole family; till someone thinks it is OK to put drugs in drinks for people and rape them or kill them. Or till an Adolf Hitler thinks 'oh, I hate Jews' and set out on a genocide.

2. What makes that personal choice? It is the training and disciple imbibed in a person from childhood. Are there some exceptions, yes.

3. Go to 1.

4. Go to 1.

5. Because the average African isn't moral in the first place. Don't confuse morality with timidity or hypocrisy rife in our society. If we were moral, you would not have politicians who have supporters, people exploiting others, people maltreat anyone they are unfortunate to be above, deceit, sexual promiscuity, inordinate desire for wealth, maltreating vulnerable people etc.

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Re: Unmarried Women by LordKO(m): 8:36am On May 15, 2020
sisisioge:


But the truth is, a woman who has the options of making money through a fulfilling career, have children and get attention from her preferred seex ( straight or ga) at anytime will rather stay single. In that case, marriage will only complicate her life.


Decorum and egoism/self-interest will always be alien to each other - that you posited is a perfect depiction of the mentality of an egoist - no wonder subjugation reigns supreme wherever an egoist holds sway. Altruism is truly not a woman's forte.

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Re: Unmarried Women by Arthur2021: 8:41am On May 15, 2020
Ishilove:

It is not about motherhood but you so happen to mention that some of these women mothers? Abeg. This thread
I wonder how some ladies deal with hypocrisy...they almost lynched buka for a pro-marriage stance and called it infringing on their choices yet they celebrate this OP for his/her subtly anti-marriage stance

4 Likes

Re: Unmarried Women by sisisioge: 8:46am On May 15, 2020
Acidosis:
Just

Most countries have laws in place against some of these things we consider as 'freedom'. For example, most countries have laws in place against pros.titution. It's not without a reason.

There are boundaries even in the midst of human rights and freedom. That you "own" your body doesn't give you the total right to do what you want with it. In Nigeria, you could be arrested for walking unclad, walking in public spaces without a nose mask even if you test negative, etc.

Moral choices is not completely in the hands of individuals. The government and, by extension, the society you belong have a role to play in terms of deciding what you do with your body.


Hmmm...I dont want to say the first part of your argument has no bearing on the topic of discussion, but let me just point out that every society has its rules(Africa and the world over) otherwise they won't qualify as a society. Prostitutes are everywhere, even in Saudi Arabia...You know that in the same country that won't allow you walk the street naked, they have nude beaches as well as nudist society....


Also there are some things that are not against the law but have moral undertone which leave individuals to choose their stands. A more related example is : Nigeria does not recognize common law partnership while most European countries do. Yet, there are several non married couples cohabiting in Nigeria (did the government influence the morals there?)...again, laws tend to stem out of what a collective people of common interest belief to be right yet individuals still reserve the right to choose their moral stands so long as its not outrightly written as against the law.

The choice to get married or remain single is a human right.
Re: Unmarried Women by Nobody: 8:47am On May 15, 2020
bukatyne:


And weaken the society because:
1. It would promote promiscuity;
2. Lead to immoral children.

If they want to stay off marriage, then be like Paul or Queen Elizabeth.

This also applies to men.

We see the effect already.

Buka, Marriage has never curbed promiscuity or lessen bastards. Let's be realistic. Rather it has made most people hypocrites, preachers of truth but doers of evil. It places both Men and Women in tight corners they end up cunningly twist themselves out.Married people cheat, divorce, have illegitimate children, keep concubines, go after younger girls and boys and crazily cheat with fellow married ones. Even the so called followers of Paul's advice now leave priesthood to feel women's warmth, those who still want to keep their posts go for nuns to satisfy their urges. But then they all still want to keep that MARRIED and PRIESTHOOD status. Because that's what society want.
Here's the deal: If most men have their way, they won't get married. Do we talk about the uneven responsibility, the struggle to cater of their family, the need to remain with one woman etc. Most men have abandoned their passion, their true self just to remain legally attached to a woman. Heaven helps him if the Woman is a devil.
Now to the Woman, believe me if all women are financially independent, emotionally intelligent, successful career wise most will not get married. Especially the African Women. African Marriage is draining! And women are mostly at the receiving end. A man can wake up one day and decide to change his SITUATION without the society raising its brows while a Woman can't. A man can decide to follow his passion, find his true self, indulge in polygamy or keep concubines, send his devilish wife packing without any black lash. But the Woman can't, most times women either learn to accept a scum of a husband or shift her attention to her children. But deep down she will continue to curse the day her parents accepted her dowry. That is the difference.

Now, if some women decide to avoid all headache at all cost and they decide to live by themselves and die unmarried, have they done any wrong? Some men don't want and will never get married, why is it a taboo for Women? Don't their lives and sanity matter too? We heard and read stories of Men and Women who lost their lives to violent partners because they didn't let go when they should have yes we blame them for choosing marriage over their lives but the question remain: Wouldn't we have also insulted, stigmatized, downgraded them if they had chosen to let go or remained Unmarried? Oh well your guess is as good as mine. cheesy

My point: People should be able to choose how they live their lives, even Christ and Heavenly Father gave us that freedom, Who are we to judge anyone?

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Re: Unmarried Women by Arthur2021: 8:47am On May 15, 2020
cococandy:


Misinformation and changing of definitions is a standard tool of those who oppose feminism. Otherwise what would they really have to oppose? The idea that women and men should be treated with equal considerations? Nah. That would sound bad even to their own ears except for those of them who are actually honest about their prejudices against women.

The only way they can find something to oppose is to change definitions and lie about what they think you’re saying.
if you don't know anything about me or what I stand for or what I oppose STFU!
I didn't sayvanything about feminism is my post but feminists(if you don't know there are lots that have thwarted the original meaning of feminism).
Except we don't reside in the same USA,virgins, housewives are being mocked.

In my very eyes they have told a lady that was engaged to see marriage as an invitation to slavery ..
Albeit they don't say it authoratively,they say it in an advice-manner or convincing manner.

The same manner some dolts wanted to crucify bukatyne for.

I wonder how you ladies cope with hypocrisy, crucifying buka for her pro-marriage stance and praising the op for her subtly anti-marriage stance. The former is tagged infringing on women choices but when women open threads and tell their other ladies not to date poor men nobody calls it infringing on their choices.


PS:think whatever you want to think of anti-feminists. It is not today I realise that if you don't dance to delusions of some feminists then you are a misogynt to their eyes. An if you don't indulge in feminism as a woman you are tagged a pick mesh a...

There is always a name for someone who doesn't agree with the movement.

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Re: Unmarried Women by sisisioge: 8:49am On May 15, 2020
LordKO:



Decorum and egoism/self-interest will always be alien - that you posited is a perfect depiction of the mentality of an egoist - no wonder subjugation reigns supreme wherever an egoist holds sway. Altruism is truly not a woman's forte.

Chai...you have started again with big grammar. I will have to get a dictionary to fully understand this.

2 Likes

Re: Unmarried Women by Arthur2021: 8:54am On May 15, 2020
Biglittlelois:



.
If you have the right to quote who you want then I gave the right to also quote you...

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