efosky1246:
You guys need to tag me when you create these kinda threads.

Op. You deserve some cold bottle of beer.

Ybaby you never disappoint.

Y'all have said everything.

It is morally irresponsible for any man to think about marrying when he is not financially sufficient to provide the kind of life he wants for his family and just sheer foolishness on the part of the woman.

I will be tagging you

bukatyne:


I have updated my post.

If you did not want a feedback, you should have done the usual NL way and said some people or leave my moniker out of your post.

And what make your reasoning the right one? Or mine wrong?

To Jennifer Lopez, singing on key is knowing the key and singing beautifully;

To bukatyne, singing on key is a miracle yet to happen.

Is J-Lo's perspective in this case wrong? Or wouldn't it be strange to J-Lo if I kept telling her that singing on key is impossible because I can't do it?

I have spoken of my experience with several people so it is possible for me and my reality. I have read enough posts to see that some people can't see what I can and I have decided it must be a gift and I am grateful for it.

Checked the moniker again and just registered today.

Hmmmm

You updated when you caught grasp of yourself lol I'm sorry you realized you were harsh later.
I wanted a feedback but not the defensive one I got hence my declaration.

To J-lo you are wrong, to me you are wrong but will you accept you are? No , why? Because it's your experience. Does that make you right? Lol there is a general standard and guidelines for Singing so the answer to that question is NO.

Your gift? Splendid but there's a reason why it is called a gift And yes it's registered today because the main is on Ban.

Ybaby:


So sorry! Did we have a conversation - I cannot remember you or the conversation....

Either way they will call you! Please donot impregnant anyone while you wait.

You this woman

Let's hope he has not impregnanted the person already

bukatyne:


You this woman

Let's hope he has not impregnanted the person already

He is a responsible man - he plans to wait till he can pay school fees and rent before he will te do.

Ervin22:
So what will you say about those male who has something doing bit due to circumstances you met him when he had nothing or those ones that are talented,skillful in their various profession with a brighter future but you met them poor what would you say about such people.

Your answer is in the parable of the talents.

No human being was sent to earth without talents and potentials. Talent is a seed like mango send until you make it grow into something substantial ko mean anything. The world is full of talented no goods...... you know why? execution is hard work and exertion

Talented lazy men full everywhere awon potential the future is bright ...... Talent means nothing if you wake up at 8am.

Ma se ri talent eh mole ara kunrin Oluwa yo bere lowo re kini o fi se.

_______

His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.

— Matthew 25:23
The third servant, however, had merely hidden his talent, burying it in the ground, and was punished by his master:

Ybaby:


Your answer is in the parable of the talents.

No human being was sent to earth without talents and potentials. Talent is a seed like mango send until you make it grow into something substantial ko mean anything. The world is full of talented no goods...... you know why? execution is hard work and exertion

Talented lazy men full everywhere awon potential the future is bright ...... Talent means nothing if you wake up at 8am.

Ma se ri talent eh mole ara kunrin Oluwa yo bere lowo re kini o fi se.

_______

His lord said unto him, Well done, good and faithful servant; thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.

— Matthew 25:23
The third servant, however, had merely hidden his talent, burying it in the ground, and was punished by his master:

Apt.

Everybody has potential and vision. The implementation is the hardest part. Not everyone wants to put in the work required.

That is why when I hear women say I want guys that have potential, i am like, who doesn't have potential, why are you setting the bar so low?

Jeff Bezos with all his money, still has potential, at least Forbes told us he'd be a trillionaire by 2026.

Why must potential be only talk about how I will get there. But not what you have done to get there.

quick tip for those asking qualities of good men: any man that talks too much. RUN

Ybaby:


So sorry! Did we have a conversation - I cannot remember you or the conversation....

Either way they will call you! Please donot impregnant anyone while you wait.

abi mo tii shalaye nii, n its like you're fond of offering everyone job employment ... audio

efosky1246:


Apt.

Everybody has potential and vision. The implementation is the hardest part. Not everyone wants to put in the work required.

That is why when I hear women say I want guys that have potential, i am like, who doesn't have potential, why are you setting the bar so low?

Jeff Bezos with all his money, still has potential, at least Forbes told us he'd be a trillionaire by 2026.

Why must potential be only talk about how I will get there. But not what you have done to get there.

quick tip for those asking qualities of good men: any man that talks too much. RUN

RUN OOOOO

The problem is babies donot eat potential..... they will shout the house down.

They came to earth without a single kobo expecting that mummy was sensible enough to only mate with a daddy that can feed them.

Even Walt DIsney made sure Cinderella meet the Prince before she fell in love. He was wise enough not to give Cinderalla to one lazy John somewhere.

Be like Cinderella and upgrade your future. Ke ye she kati kati

jornwhite:




abi mo tii shalaye nii, n its like you're fond of offering everyone job employment ... audio

Sit down!

Ybaby:



RUN OOOOO

The problem is babies donot eat potential..... they will shout the house down.

They came to earth without a single kobo expecting that mummy was sensible enough to only mate with a daddy that can feed them.

Even Walt DIsney made sure Cinderella meet the Prince before she fell in love. He was wise enough not to give Cinderalla to one lazy John somewhere.

Be like Cinderella and upgrade your future. Ke ye she kati kati

Not every lady is like poor Cinderella so not every lady needs or wants to be upgraded.

Ybaby:


Sit down!

Even my dogs won't answer, e be like say ur watch stopped working, woman my body lay for bed, if you know like am call your lawyer.

jornwhite:



Even my dogs won't answer, e be like say ur watch stopped working, woman body lay for bed, if you know like am call your lawyer.

Ok!

Why do you have a problem with me praising my husband?

Ybaby:


Ok!

Why do you have a problem with me praising my husband?

Maybe if you can stay focus on issues without involving eni eleni even when not necessary you will realize i av no problem with you not to talk of someone we don't know.
if you want to praise ur obim do it on appropriate threads, whats the essence i doubt if he is on NL, praise him when & where he can hear stop all these audio

bukatyne:


I almost missed this:

Please see explanation below:

1. Baby heads/leaders: husbands who are babylike in a negative way; don't lead by example, don't understand sacrifice or strength of character, wants everything to revolve around their needs and/or wants, do not understand the concept of responsibility, want everyone to pamper them, are only there for fair weather, have short memories etc.

2. Financial sperm donors: fathers/husbands who are only financially responsible in the home. They provide no morals, teaching, encouragement, discipline, mentorship, protection, spiritual guidance etc.

3. Wives unwilling to take responsibility for their choices: This is clear. A woman choosing the wrong man or unwilling to face the consequences of their actions etc.

4. Wives who revel in victimhood: Closely tied to 3. Because they do not take responsibility for their choices, they paint themselves as victims when the consequences of their actions/ inactions comes calling.

A prime example:

When God came to the Garden after Adam & Eve had eaten the forbidden fruit ( i would use apple hence forth, shorter), watch the scene that played out:

Adam said: It was the woman you gave me. He did not question God's gift of the woman when they were probably running around the garden playing hide and seek; That was lack of responsbility and leadership. He should have reminded Eve of God's command and not eat the apple.

Eve said: It was the serpent. O poor Eve! One would think the serpent forced her to eat the apple or wrapped it inside watermelon so she did not know it was the apple. Eve had a lengthy conversation with the serpent before agreeing to eat the apple which she confirmed was good. This was classic victim mentality at play.

Nice reply. But i would say, that you are explaining the typical American/western family system. the typical Nigerian/african family does not raise irresponsible men or men who don't take responsibility.
this does not invalidate your points, they are well founded. But it is not the typical Nigerian family system. What we have in some families today, is just a copycat of the western family system, hence your points.
i have always argued with people, that, one of the few advantages the black man has over the white man is our family system. our family system is almost perfect. But sadly due to our subconscious inferiority complex we are gradually abandoning our family system and copying the western family system.
Let me ask you, the points you gave and explained would you not find more men guilty of such in the west?
Finally, about the women's victimhood mentality. my reply is that women have always been taught to see themselves as victims no matter the circumstance. this cuts across the world. it is not necessarily a family system problem, but more of a societal problem.

Ybaby:


Pmoye is a wise man.

What he did not say is that those lazy men will suffer eh have you seen the tactics of a bitter woman.

The man will be disgraced everywhere they go - she will remove every masculine from him and make him her sissy and he will not be able to do anything about it.

Pay the Bill's as a man !!! It is for your own good or else wo ma wooo eh wa wooo mummy eh.


Just this evening one of my staff husband came to report her that because he has not paid the rent for 12 years she is always embarrassing him - I said ah! I will talk to her.

Of cos I am not talking to her- she works hard to put a roof over his head and that of thier 3 children. She is resentful and if it is only embarrassment he is getting I think it is fair

This woman ehhn you will not kill someone on NL.

Hathor5:


Not every lady is like poor Cinderella so not every lady needs or wants to be upgraded.

How can you have a problem with Y.baby's post and agree with e.fosky (to the extent of likening him to a man you can respect) when they are essentially saying the same thing?

Let me tell you for free: Y.baby is the feminine application of e.fosky's postulation. A good masculine application was Risenphoenix before he deactivated.

IF you want a man like efosky, follow Y.baby back to back and read up all her posts.

bukatyne:


How can you have a problem with Y.baby's post and agree with e.fosky (to the extent of likening him to a man you can respect) when they are essentially saying the same thing?

Let me tell you for free: Y.baby is the feminine application of e.fosky's postulation. A good masculine application was Risenphoenix before he deactivated.

IF you want a man like efosky, follow Y.baby back to back and read up all her posts.

I liked e.fosky's post because of his willingness to take responsibility albeit I found his position a little bit too extreme because it takes two to make a marriage/relationship work or fail. I said the same thing regarding unwanted pregnancies and I stand by it. Everyone involved is responsible and must be held accountable. No fun without responsibility. No leadership without accountability.

And just because I like it when people (this is not even a gender issue for me) take responsibility does not mean I want a man exactly like him. I don't know him. I have not even read all of his posts on this thread. I can like someone's post or parts of it and still not agree with the person fully.

I mentioned Y.baby because not every woman needs or wants to be saved like Cinderella. And any woman who does not need a man's money can still desire and have a responsible man.

How these two points contradict each other you will hopefully explain.

Ok

Hathor5:


1. I liked e.fosky's post because of his willingness to take responsibility albeit I found his position a little bit too extreme because it takes two to make a marriage/relationship work or fail. I said the same thing regarding unwanted pregnancies and I stand by it. Everyone involved is responsible and must be held accountable. No fun without responsibility. No leadership without accountability.

2. And just because I like it when people (this is not even a gender issue for me) take responsibility does not mean I want a man exactly like him.

3. I don't know him. I have not even read all of his posts on this thread. I can like someone's post or parts of it and still not agree with the person fully.

4. I mentioned Y.baby because not every woman needs or wants to be saved like Cinderella. And any woman who does not need a man's money can still desire and have a responsible man.

How these two points contradict each other you will hopefully explain.

1. It takes two for the marriage to fail; yes. However, what is your plan to succeed? If a man/woman picks a bad spouse (goat) with eyes closed, whose fault is it when a goat starts to behave like a goat? Why should the man/woman complain that the goat is behaving like a goat?

2. Ok

3. Fair enough and fully agree with you

4. Well, a man with the idea that he should/must handle ALL the financial responsibility in his home models the Cinderella/ Prince relationship irrespective of the financial worth of the wife. She can be a housewife or a CEO. She doesn't 'need' to 'need' his money.

It can bud online and fruit offline now.

Hathor5:


I don't do online dating. Odikwa risky.

bukatyne:


1. It takes two for the marriage to fail; yes. However, what is your plan to succeed? If a man/woman picks a bad spouse (goat) with eyes closed, whose fault is it when a goat starts to behave like a goat? Why should the man/woman complain that the goat is behaving like a goat?

2. Ok

3. Fair enough and fully agree with you

4. Well, a man with the idea that he should/must handle ALL the financial responsibility in his home models the Cinderella/ Prince relationship irrespective of the financial worth of the wife. She can be a housewife or a CEO. She doesn't 'need' to 'need' his money.

1. The thing is that people are far more emotional than they are rational when it comes to matters of the heart. Love is blind they say and we love who we love and sometimes lie to ourselves. We make mistakes. It's human. Klaas did a great job explaining how people can change. Not everyone is a mind reader like you so some people miss the signs. Sometimes people in their youthful naivety hope things will get better with time and then they don't but sometimes they do. Young marriage has the disadvantage that we lack the experience to discern what is good for us in the long run. I know you knew yourself in your teenage years but I didn't, many if not most people need time to find themselves. Personality development does not end at 20. I could go on and on.

3. Did he say in the post that I quoted that a man must shoulder all financial responsibility and save poor Cinderella from poverty??

My brother, you almost brought tears to my eyes with this your write-up. It's a pleasure to know good men still exist.

I keep saying it that most dysfunctional marriages, not all(before they come for my head) is usually the fault of the man. From a surface point of view, it might seem like it's the woman. But most times. The woman is reacting to the deficiencies in the man.

When you treat a normal, healthy woman right and act like a leader, set the tone in the relationship. Not just shouting "I am the man" up and down. There is no how she would not submit and respect you. Men need to be held more accountable.

We should grab a drink together if you're keen. Would love to connect in person.

I don't see it, do you?

Limitededition10:
This is why Alexandre7 dumped you. Don't go and be managing yourself with the little you have, be waiting for Dangote's son to come and expose you to the good life.

Pray you don't wait out your whole life.

Since Before the birth of Jesus Christ, you have been on nairaland, waiting for Omo baba Olowo that will marry you, are they not still forthcoming Abi what are you still waiting for to get married.

People are getting married every Saturday, while you remain here as nl regular customer tagging yourself and your fellow sisters.

Since, we dey wait for your pre wedding pics to that imaginary rich man, we never see.
Aunty how we go do

Hmmm

.

Ok

I think I agree with you, I was only trying to pull her legs. There is however still a chance of people meeting for the first time on NL especially the mature ones (you of course know what I mean here), only that the getting-to-know each other must be outside of NL.

Klass99:


I am with Hathor5 on this matter o! A seriously risky business.

Have you not seen nairaland couples who fall out, and come back here to embarrass themselves, sharing details of their lives, posting screen shots of private chat messages.

It's never pleasant to watch. Shame dey catch me sef and no be say na me dey involved o!

Limitededition10:
what's your point

Northwest

Palema007:
When I saw a response from Bukatyne to Mariangles on a thread saying it is a lazy man's thinking to believe the phrase "People change" ,she went on and on to emphasize on "how it is important and possible to know all of a person especially when it comes to dating. I knew she never experienced some aspect of LIFE. My problem isn't about importance of knowing who one is dealing with. My problem is the possibility, How possible is it to know all about a person.
But the question is: Do you as a person know all about you? If yes why do we claim to do things unintentionally, why do you hear phrases like " had I know" , "I don't know what came over me" " She made me believe in myself" , "I didn't know I could achieve that" ... etc. These sentences shows the limitation of human knowledge of themselves. Now how anyone would expect another being to know all about another to the extent of predicting them or actions they are capable of rightly all the time beats my imagination.

People change, People evolve! It isn't a lazy man's thinking or anything. It is just the fact of life. You can only know what a person let you know or is careless enough to reveal. A lot of things can cause people to change Money, Fame, wealth, poverty, other people's attitude etc. We aren't made static to continue a pattern, sometimes people can decide to handle some things differently.

Now I'm not saying it isn't good to know your partner but saying you must know ALL a person is capable of before going into relationship with him or her is unachievable and always making this the reason behind every relationship failure is just totally unthinkable. Just watch, pray and be wise.

I love you for this, I really do

jornwhite:



Maybe if you can stay focus on issues without involving eni eleni even when not necessary you will realize i av no problem with you not to talk of someone we don't know.
if you want to praise ur obim do it on appropriate threads, whats the essence i doubt if he is on NL, praise him when & where he can hear stop all these audio

Ara lo ta e.

Is there an appropriate place to praise one's man? I can praise him in front of him, beside him , at his back any where I like I can praise him.

If I praise my God now - you will tell me to praise him in appropriate threads?

Na wa o!

Your body dey pepper over a wife praising her own husband. It is unbelievable !!

I am so curious as to why your body burns when I praise my Obim Such strangeness

Ybaby:


Ara lo ta e.

Is there an appropriate place to praise one's man? I can praise him in front of him, beside him , at his back any where I like I can praise him.

If I praise my God now - you will tell me to praise him in appropriate threads?

Na wa o!

Your body dey pepper over a wife praising her own husband. It is unbelievable !!

I am so curious as to why your body burns when I praise my Obim Such strangeness

Now i am 100% sure a woman is behind this moniker every guy not on there side is either poor or jobless ... poverty no be soup tii e ye e ! thank God obim rescued you

Biglittlelois:



I love you for this, I really do

Lol Thank you.

jornwhite:





Now i am 100% sure a woman is behind this moniker every guy not on there side is either poor or jobless ... poverty no be soup tii e ye e ! thank God obim rescued you

The way you just go off topic is amusing to me........ you must have some undiagnosed issues.

I asked why does your body pain you when I praise my own husband. Why?