Dande55:

This is very cool. Never marry a man with less than 20m cash/investment

Belafonte:


I’m intrigued when I read comments like this. So, if I have 20m in cash & investments, what value is the woman bringing to the table?

Do note, that I don’t think I’ll be ready for marriage if I don’t have 50m in cash & investments, but whoever I’m marrying has to be worth that 50m

Belafonte:
Only men with low self esteem think they have to have a certain amount of money to be deserving of marriage.

As for me, the more zeros I add to my bank balance, the more the likelihood of never marrying.

Dande55:

So, you will marry cos you want a woman that's gonna uplift you from poverty state or that will be there to comfort you when you don't have the money? You see why you men are very selfish yet, you always get to turn the table around and some gullible women will believe so.

Dande55:

Whatever you wish my dear.
If you want a woman that's as equal as you are and you somehow got to find one, that's good for you.

What I'm saying is that every woman should avoid the mistake of saying he has vision, so many poor people today had/have visions.

Belafonte:


I’m intrigued when I read comments like this. So, if I have 20m in cash & investments, what value is the woman bringing to the table?

Do note, that I don’t think I’ll be ready for marriage if I don’t have 50m in cash & investments, but whoever I’m marrying has to be worth that 50m

Belafonte:


She doesn’t even have to have a dime. I’m not concerned about how much she makes. There are other things that matter to me in a wife

Belafonte:


I’m intrigued when I read comments like this. So, if I have 20m in cash & investments, what value is the woman bringing to the table?

Do note, that I don’t think I’ll be ready for marriage if I don’t have 50m in cash & investments, but whoever I’m marrying has to be worth that 50m

Dande55:

This is very cool. Never marry a man with less than 20m cash/investment

pocohantas:
Lol. Financially independent should be the word. Not rich!

I pity all these women playing good girls (online). Men keep raising the bar higher. They don’t want broke girls, they don’t want non-working women and they applaud themselves for it. They even demonized and trivialized the input of a housewife.

Yet when a woman wants a working man, they bark at you and you cower in fear. You think these niggas give two fcks about you?

Systematically you dance to their tunes till they hold all the aces. Continue being resident good girls o. Na NL praises go end am.

Good girls are going to shop in Igando market under sun and rain, chooking leg inside potor potor. Baby girls dey pick groceries from Ebeano. Well done ehn.

pocohantas:
Lol. Financially independent should be the word. Not rich!

I pity all these women playing good girls (online). Men keep raising the bar higher. They don’t want broke girls, they don’t want non-working women and they applaud themselves for it. They even demonized and trivialized the input of a housewife.

Yet when a woman wants a working man, they bark at you and you cower in fear. You think these niggas give two fcks about you?

Systematically you dance to their tunes till they hold all the aces. Continue being resident good girls o. Na NL praises go end am.

Good girls are going to shop in Igando market under sun and rain, chooking leg inside potor potor. Baby girls dey pick groceries from Ebeano. Well done ehn.

cococandy:
Why does the bold sound funny.

True I like men for the confidence they have in demanding what they want even when they do not deserve it. Gold diggers, leeches, broke ass etc are slangs developed for women to broke shame us. Whereas asking a man to be financially independent before settling down makes the woman a bad person for requiring that.

Women are always striving to be “perfect” and it’s never enough because of the endless and confusing list of what makes a good woman. Must not be a gold digger, must not be dependent, must also always be available when the man requires it or she’s to blame for the maid taking over her home. It’s tiring.

Personally I believe in sharing finances because it’s rare to see a man that’s a 100% provider. But only if that sharing of finances translates to sharing other aspects of what’s required in running the home. I require it.
Otherwise the woman is contributing way more than the man.

Nnaabros:
This one has snapped.

What you don't know is that men will always get what they want. But you women, hardly. You're always going to be at the losing end with this mindset.

Don't ever think you're punishing guys, our options are limitless. But you, you may have to wait out your life.

bukatyne:
Money has wings.

The person who is rich today can become poor/broke tomorrow and vice versa.

Rather than this skeletal approach, why don't we dig to see what's wrong with the Nigerian family system and correct it?

How many men are rich in Nigeria?

What happens if all that made a man 'the head' was money and he loses it ten years into the marriage; should his wife get a divorce?

cococandy:
Why does the bold sound funny.

True I like men for the confidence they have in demanding what they want even when they do not deserve it. Gold diggers, leeches, broke ass etc are slangs developed for women to broke shame us. Whereas asking a man to be financially independent before settling down makes the woman a bad person for requiring that.

Women are always striving to be “perfect” and it’s never enough because of the endless and confusing list of what makes a good woman. Must not be a gold digger, must not be dependent, must also always be available when the man requires it or she’s to blame for the maid taking over her home. It’s tiring.

Personally I believe in sharing finances because it’s rare to see a man that’s a 100% provider. But only if that sharing of finances translates to sharing other aspects of what’s required in running the home. I require it.
Otherwise the woman is contributing way more than the man.

Acidosis:
Your write-up is useless if you can't define "rich". And since you people always claim that everything is relative, who are you to classify a 90k salary earner as poor? What if the 90k meets his needs in his environment? He's still poor and shouldn't marry because you said so or because every married man must live in Lagos or Abuja?

pmoye:
Well said.
There is no amount of feminism that will make me ever think that a man that is not financially (also emotionally) capable should go ahead and get married. I went ahead to reference some income grades in the original post from a very practical point of view. Many Nigerians contract marriage purely based on hope, what you would call the best case scenario. Unfortunately, worst case scenarios seem to be prevalent in our generation, and before you know it the man that sounded so self-sufficient and cocky at the beginning is reduced to nothing more than a sack of ego and anger for inability to take care of their families. These are real situations. What is worse still is the fact that such men, even when the wives are the ones bringing in the larger share of the income, keep demanding for an impossible amount of respect from the woman.

And with respect to sharing finances, as I mentioned in the original post, then such husbands must as a minimum also share respect with the wife. What historically made man the head and lord of the house was because man was literally the source of most things in his house, while women devoted themselves exclusively to take care of the man and the entire household. It baffles me that our generation appears to increasingly trivialize this enormous responsibility that is already on the woman. I could never marry a full house wife and think for a second that I was picking the larger share of responsibilities.

Like you have perfectly captured, roles of men and women at home are being culturally revised. Increasing number of men and women now believe that the woman should join in becoming breadwinner. That is literally sharing the man's burden with women. Unfortunately the historical burden of women in the home is not been as equally shared with men. This is something the society should be ready to discuss otherwise we will end up with lady folks who are extremely bitter, and justifiably so, because of the way the society treats them.

Klass99:


Until people decide by themselves and for themselves, to give up groupthink and herd mentality, they will continue to believe that being single is worse than the havoc Covid-19 has wrecked and continues to wreck.

Personally, I don't think it is so much about the society, it is about poor and limiting mindsets, where people believe that without marriage or kids, they cannot have or live, a full, vibrant, responsible, happy and good life.

Until people change their own limiting mindsets about certain things, they will suffer. I am not against marriage or kids, for people who sincerely desire one or both. I can't help but ask ''Dem use marriage swear for us in Africa? '' This is one of the most hilarious phrases I have seen on NL and one of my favourties too, because it resonates well with me. Dem no use am swear for me sha!

Belafonte:


Stop arguing with yourself.

I want a woman who’s going to appreciate me for who I am, not what I can provide. If women would rather marrying rich men, I really have no problem with that tbh. Just don’t come and be forming love, knowing I would disgust you if I were broke

annayawchee:
So why did your mom married your broke dad?

Who will marry your broke brothers/sisters?

Who will marry your broke ass?

Your sense entitlement is so laughable and pitiful.

What will you add to the life of the already made man aside your battered and smelly puna?

Better go and hustle your way out of poverty..

Dande55:

So, you will marry cos you want a woman that's gonna uplift you from poverty state or that will be there to comfort you when you don't have the money? You see why you men are very selfish yet, you always get to turn the table around and some gullible women will believe so.

Belafonte:


Stop arguing with yourself.

I want a woman who’s going to appreciate me for who I am, not what I can provide. If women would rather marry rich men, I really have no problem with that tbh. Just don’t come and be forming love, knowing I would disgust you if I were broke

pocohantas:
Lol. Financially independent should be the word. Not rich!

I pity all these women playing good girls (online). Men keep raising the bar higher. They don’t want broke girls, they don’t want non-working women and they applaud themselves for it. They even demonized and trivialized the input of a housewife.

Yet when a woman wants a working man, they bark at you and you cower in fear. You think these niggas give two fcks about you?

Systematically you dance to their tunes till they hold all the aces. Continue being resident good girls o. Na NL praises go end am.

Good girls are going to shop in Igando market under sun and rain, chooking leg inside potor potor. Baby girls dey pick groceries from Ebeano. Well done ehn.