Romangalactic:

I love your comment. I too am very visual person because I've made peace with the reality that love is a mask and relationships will always depend on selfish interests. I can't stand my woman looking like a whale,not when I'm responsible for her financially and all she has to do for me is look exceptionally attractive.

The day she starts to let go in the name of I gave birth to your children,na dat day I begin search for another smallie with my spec to use as sidechic. You can't be eating my money and still want to use emotion to manipulate me into liking what I hate.

Khonifer:


You say these things like we’re puns like we have no part to play in this ‘reality’ at all. Of course this is a poor country, and op’s post will not stop poor people from getting married but there is also nothing wrong in preaching common sense. Why would anyone want to marry into and raise children in poverty?

Point still is there is no reason anyone should be mad on this thread. That’s all

Romangalactic:

I love your comment. I too am very visual person because I've made peace with the reality that love is a mask and relationships will always depend on selfish interests. I can't stand my woman looking like a whale,not when I'm responsible for her financially and all she has to do for me is look exceptionally attractive.

The day she starts to let go in the name of I gave birth to your children,na dat day I begin search for another smallie with my spec to use as sidechic. You can't be eating my money and still want to use emotion to manipulate me into liking what I hate.

Ybaby:


Gbam!!!

These (she)men who are mad at this thread wake up at 8am .... some at 10am.... some 4pm

The men who say OP is right wake at 4am or 5am

Do a survey and you will see I am right!

These men are lazy jo and spend too much time on family or celeb section instead of business and property.

If a NL man toast you as a lady go to his profile and if he spends more time on romance than business section - you have your answer!!

He will scatter your brain in faceme Ifaceyou room and parlour with 6 children because his lower brain is more active than his upper brain (be guided)

Ybaby:


It is what it is!

If your man pays the bills - you must be in the shape he likes

If he like big women - be that.

If he likes lepa - to the gym.

I work out everyday..... sometimes let my self go (ko easy) but kiakia I get back to the sexy game for my Oga.

Belafonte:


Sorry to say, but you’re not a real man

Ybaby:


Jealousy! Jealousy!!

It is not my fault that your own wife tears your shirt and is NEVER proud of you because you donot pay bills

Not my fault o

My Obim is a man of honour and I am so glad I have him to look after me - He makes my life rich and colourful.

I love him and forever grateful to God for sending me a real MAN - my Oga is my mentor, my father, my lover, my rock.... I really admire him.

May his life be very long so he can eat the fruit of his labour.

If more men are like my Obim we will have less kids hawking and begging. He is a man of timbre and caliber.... A man's man.

He can help you get a job.... send me your CV

efosky1246:
You guys need to tag me when you create these kinda threads.

Op. You deserve some cold bottle of beer.

Ybaby you never disappoint.

Y'all have said everything.

It is morally irresponsible for any man to think about marrying when he is not financially sufficient to provide the kind of life he wants for his family and just sheer foolishness on the part of the woman.

pmoye:
Thanks for your choice of words, financially sufficient to provide ... for his family. It probably would have been a better choice in my original post, but then I needed to paint a graphic picture so I used the word rich. Little did I know that some individuals hate that word... I consider being financially sufficient to provide for one's family as being rich. And such provision will not stop at just food, must be good food, health care, education and a decent status in the society. These things are really basic needs even though many now consider them luxury.

efosky1246:


Yes. but don't mind them with their rich is relative b.s

they understand exactly what you're talking about but will fight you tooth and nail like they have signed a contract with poverty.

and I appreciate your point about the importance of a homemaker wife. the traditional roles of the man and the woman are equally important and the man is not in anyway doing the woman a favour going into the world and bringing home the resources. even at that I believe the woman's role is even more crucial given the times we live in today. the times are dangerous, children, more than ever need a parent to look after them during their formative years. that Job should not be left to nannies and daycare.

its a pity so many men are myopic and only consider the financial benefit a woman can offer.

pmoye:
You're really very perceptive.
You raised a very crucial point (in bold) about some men being fixated on the financial benefits that go to a woman in marriage. I keep asking some of them, what use do you have for your wealth when you're dead? And would you not rather leave it all for the woman who is to take care of your children, and your legacy for those that have one? Of course, assuming the man dies ahead of the wife.

I find it really hilarious when married men bicker with their wives over who owns what, the wives too returning the favour with 'His money is ours but mine mine'... I thought in marriage the two become one. This I find extremely childish and foolish. Foolish because these men are literally and practically ready to entrust their life unto their wives, but not their money. Which is more valuable, your life or your money?

You marry a woman, sleep in the same room with her (I am always scared to sleep with a woman in the same room ; what if she wakes up at time and kills me just to get access to whatever she thinks I have?? ), eat food and drink drinks prepared by her, be vulnerable 24/7 to her without be afraid that she will take your life, yet you do not want to trust her with your money. In this matter, I know there are instances where the woman is to blame, but I have a feeling most times that it is the man who lays down a bad and selfish example. In the end every man ends up having a wife that he deserves, not really the one that he wants. If you show leadership by treating her right, it is not likely that you will not have the best of friend, wife and mother in your wife. It is all about leading by example and selflessness... Even if your wife chop your money, isn't that infinitely better than a stranger does so? Your wife has a 100% stake in your life; no other person has that.



[/b]

efosky1246:


My brother, you almost brought tears to my eyes with this your write-up. It's a pleasure to know good men still exist.

I keep saying it that most dysfunctional marriages, not all(before they come for my head) is usually a fault of the man. From a surface point of view, it might seem like it's the woman. But most times. The woman is reacting to the deficiencies in the man.

When you treat a normal, healthy woman right and act like a leader, set the tone in the relationship. Not just shouting "I am the man" up and down. There is no how she would not submit and respect you. Men need to be held more accountable.

We should grab a drink together if you're keen. Would love to connect in person.

efosky1246:


My brother, you almost brought tears to my eyes with this your write-up. It's a pleasure to know good men still exist.

I keep saying it that most dysfunctional marriages, not all(before they come for my head) is usually the fault of the man. From a surface point of view, it might seem like it's the woman. But most times. The woman is reacting to the deficiencies in the man.

When you treat a normal, healthy woman right and act like a leader, set the tone in the relationship. Not just shouting "I am the man" up and down. There is no how she would not submit and respect you. Men need to be held more accountable.

We should grab a drink together if you're keen. Would love to connect in person.

efosky1246:


My brother, you almost brought tears to my eyes with this your write-up. It's a pleasure to know good men still exist.

I keep saying it that most dysfunctional marriages, not all(before they come for my head) is usually the fault of the man. From a surface point of view, it might seem like it's the woman. But most times. The woman is reacting to the deficiencies in the man.

When you treat a normal, healthy woman right and act like a leader, set the tone in the relationship. Not just shouting "I am the man" up and down. There is no how she would not submit and respect you. Men need to be held more accountable.

We should grab a drink together if you're keen. Would love to connect in person.

Romangalactic:

Emphasis on a normal emotionally healthy woman.

Take a look around

Romangalactic:

Emphasis on a normal emotionally healthy woman.

Take a look around

efosky1246:


Change your circle.

Romangalactic:

The world is bigger than your circle

bukatyne:


Like a woman, any man that leaves emotionally healthy women and settles for a cray cray has himself to blame.

pmoye:
This is advice is really for Nigerian ladies. Please and please do not marry a man that is not rich. Your very life will depend on it. You heard me... How long you live as a woman may well depend on how rich your husband is. This may seem like an over-generalization, but a very needful one. Quite a troubling percentage of Nigerian men can not handle a woman who is more financially buoyant.

Ideally it shouldn't matter how much each person earns, because I believe that the husband and the wife should be one financially. That the home should be planned like a company with budgets, financial planning, sound auditing and all... But from the much we have seen around the average Nigerian family is far from this ideal. We often have what increasingly looks like a union that appears more to serve a cultural/societal expectation, a union that is sustained just so that the society can think you are happily married, while between the man and the wife it is more like between US and China, between Northern and Southern Nigeria, a perpetual cold war and bitter jostling for resource allocation and control.

I have seen women who have died because the husbands couldn't afford antenatal care and used ego-motivated argument to keep the women from accessing timely medical care... And of course, few years or even months after that those wicked men would later bring in other wives into the house.

The poorer the man, the more wicked, the more angry, and the more deadly he generally is in Nigeria. Do not let any man or any woman convince you to marry for love. There is no such thing as that, just a queer surge of hormones that makes you think you are in love. If you marry a poor man for love, hunger and suffering will soon reset your thinking, and by then most women feel too culturally compelled to remain with the toxin of a husband they have. Take a cue from evolutionary development in animal kingdom generally where females select the most suitable male for mating.

Do not simply believe in a man's future plans and dreams. If he doesn't have money now, he is not ready to be a husband. No matter how much you think you love him, treat him like the case of AS genotype (yours) marrying an SS genotype (his). And this is something I respect some Igbo men for. They will never think of marrying a woman unless they are economically ready.

If he is earning N30,000, or N40,000 or N90,000 per month he is not ready to marry. These are just examples from posts I have seen around here. Do not be fooled, the amount on the payslip is not always available for taking care of the home. But that's the talk for another day.

Some of us are probably never going to get married, I personally find it very scary to read about how men because of poverty increasingly turn against their wives in marriage... I may be too traditional though, because I do not fvcking care the money the wife is bringing into the house. Her role as a mother and a wife is already supremely more than you need to compensate for as a man. If you are a man, do not get close to a man when you are still poor. It is wickedness. It is dishonesty. It is crime against humanity. Do not sell her a future hope of becoming a pastor and other popular silliness.

Marrying a lady when you cannot completely and single-handedly take care of her is gender violence. Stop it.

efosky1246:


Why the f do you need the world when choosing a partner?

pmoye:
You're really very perceptive.
You raised a very crucial point (in bold) about some men being fixated on the financial benefits that go to a woman in marriage. I keep asking some of them, what use do you have for your wealth when you're dead? And would you not rather leave it all for the woman who is to take care of your children, and your legacy for those that have one? Of course, assuming the man dies ahead of the wife.

I find it really hilarious when married men bicker with their wives over who owns what, the wives too returning the favour with 'His money is ours but mine mine'... I thought in marriage the two become one. This I find extremely childish and foolish. Foolish because these men are literally and practically ready to entrust their life unto their wives, but not their money. Which is more valuable, your life or your money?

You marry a woman, sleep in the same room with her (I am always scared to sleep with a woman in the same room ; what if she wakes up at time and kills me just to get access to whatever she thinks I have?? ), eat food and drink drinks prepared by her, be vulnerable 24/7 to her without be afraid that she will take your life, yet you do not want to trust her with your money. In this matter, I know there are instances where the woman is to blame, but I have a feeling most times that it is the man who lays down a bad and selfish example. In the end every man ends up having a wife that he deserves, not really the one that he wants. If you show leadership by treating her right, it is not likely that you will not have the best of friend, wife and mother in your wife. It is all about leading by example and selflessness... Even if your wife chop your money, isn't that infinitely better than a stranger does so? Your wife has a 100% stake in your life; no other person has that.



[/b]

bukatyne:


@bold:

Perhaps you help the upcominhwomen and list what you think makes a man a good leader.

Hopefully, they shun the opposite so we have peace in our homes.

I agree men need to be held more accountable which would be hard if the women choose the bad men with their eyes open.

Hathor5:


Now this is a man I can take serious.

Respect, respect, respect!

pmoye:
This is how love buds. ;-)
I'm watching to see who will first shoot the shot between the two of you.