dammytosh:

@DAYO,

YOU SEE THE POINT MISSING HERE IS NOT ABOUT A MINOR BEING BEATEN AS ASSERTED.

IT IS ABOUT THE WIFE RAISING HER HAND TO BEAT HER MOTHER-IN-LAW .

THE CULTURAL AND TRADITIONAL RULE IS THAT YOU DON'T BEAT YOUR IN-LAW NO MATTER WHAT !!!!. THERE IS SO MUCH ADO ABOUT A WOMAN RESPECTING ALL HER IN-LAWS THAT ACCORDING TO TRADITION AND CULTURE, SHE IS NOT PERMITTED TO CALL THEM BY THEIR FIRST NAME NO MATTER HOW SHE IS NOT TO TALK OF BEATING AN IN-LAW.

THAT IS THE STANDARD TRADITION AND CULTURE IN YORUBA LAND

SO ALL PARTIES INVOLVED ARE GUILTY IN THIS CASE.

What are you going on about?

Only the bolded is correct.

freecocoa: You are talking as if the woman just woke up one morning and started beating the girl,na wa o.

And you are talikgnas if the BIL just finished watching Arsenal losing to Chelsea and he decides the wife should be beaten as a form of revenge

Something led to the other in both cases

dayokanu:

Are you sure when the child was dropped there they told the wife she is allowed to beat her?

First thing you say is we are in Nigeria. If we are in Nigeria then anything goes. I can beat my houseboy, driver, If i am driving and okadaman bash my car, I can drop and beat him, I can beat my wife, I can beat my wife, i can beat anyone since WE ARE IN NIGERIA

I wasn't there , but I'm sure the parents expected the girl to be treated properly. Dayo, you know if you beat your wife it is wrong, I'm sure you also know not to be rude to your elders. I won't be surprised if the girl had been warned several times b4 the slap came. Whether we want to admit it beating a child as long as it is within reasonable measures is right.would you have preferred if the woman starved her for 3 days.

Bawss1:

What are you going on about?

Only the bolded is correct.

I AM NOT JUSTIFYING ANY OF THEM IF YOU READ MY COMMENTS EARLIER. BUT I AM TELLING YOU THAT IS THE TRADITION AND CULTURE IN MY LAND.

THAT DOES NOT MEAN IT IS CORRECT. JUST TRYING TO LET YOU SEE WHY ALL OF THEM CAN BE ASSUMED TO BE WRONG.

THE RULE IS THAT IT DOES NOT MATTER IF YOU ARE A MAN OR A WOMAN. IT IS AN INSULT TO BEAT YOUR IN-LAW

dayokanu:

What does spanking achieve?

We have people who were spanked that turned into hardened criminals. I have some friends who were brought up as Deeper life like 10 of them. All 10 smoked like 6 joined Confra in school, One was jailed. All these kids were well beaten when growing up.

Likewise we have ppl who werent spanked that turned out good.

So If there is no evidence to prove Spanked children turn out better than others then whats the point of Spanking other than to satisfy our sadistic inclinations

Do you want stories of kids that were not spanked but have turned to hardened criminal? One I saw the last time I went to Naija 8 soldiers came into the estate just to grab one boy who if someone had told me he would be in such a mess I will slap that person.

We could on and on here dayo but truth is there are still heaps of people not smacked that turned bad. This is limited not to Nigerians alone, there are oyibos in the westernized world that smack their kids once in a while.

My point is, even before these laws or no law came out, people from diff continents used smacking once in a while to discipline their kids.

dayokanu:

Are you sure when the child was dropped there they told the wife she is allowed to beat her?

First thing you say is we are in Nigeria. If we are in Nigeria then anything goes. I can beat my houseboy, driver, If i am driving and okadaman bash my car, I can drop and beat him, I can beat my wife, I can beat my wife, i can beat anyone since WE ARE IN NIGERIA

I remember pr001 a nairalander replying your post once and I quote him saying "does everything have to be black or white?"

Is it not also African to marry more than one wife? Why have we still got men like your dad and my dad still married to our mothers and them alone?

Thank you Jenny, I have a family friend that grew up in UK, as a teen she was already moving with bad gangs. Her mother spanked her. She called the cops the mother was let go with a warning. Fast forward ten years later, dis girl does drugs, smokes, sleeps with anything. Do you think the mother wouldn't have beaten the craze out of her as a teenager in nigeria

dammytosh:

@DAYO,

YOU SEE THE POINT MISSING HERE IS NOT ABOUT A MINOR BEING BEATEN AS ASSERTED.

IT IS ABOUT THE WIFE RAISING HER HAND TO BEAT HER MOTHER-IN-LAW .

THE CULTURAL AND TRADITIONAL RULE IS THAT YOU DON'T BEAT YOUR IN-LAW NO MATTER WHAT !!!!. THERE IS SO MUCH ADO ABOUT A WOMAN RESPECTING ALL HER IN-LAWS THAT ACCORDING TO TRADITION AND CULTURE, SHE IS NOT PERMITTED TO CALL THEM BY THEIR FIRST NAME NO MATTER HOW SHE IS NOT TO TALK OF BEATING AN IN-LAW.

THAT IS THE STANDARD TRADITION AND CULTURE IN YORUBA LAND

SO ALL PARTIES INVOLVED ARE GUILTY IN THIS CASE.

Will you please gerrout outta here with this your useless mother in law nonsense?

If you want someone that will be teri-baleing even for the ants in your house just because you did her a favor by marrying her, go marry a baboon in the bush.

Here in the real world, people EARN the respect they are awarded.

Nonsense!!

Sisi_Kill:
Will you please gerrout outta here with this your useless mother in law nonsense?

If you want someone that will be teri-baleing even for the ants in your house just because you did her a favor by marrying her, go marry a baboon in the bush.

Here in the real world, people EARN the respect they are awarded.

Nonsense!!

Thank you!

steph7: Thank you Jenny, I have a family friend that grew up in UK, as a teen she was already moving with bad gangs. Her mother spanked her. She called the cops the mother was let go with a warning. Fast forward ten years later, dis girl does drugs, smokes, sleeps with anything. Do you think the mother wouldn't have beaten the craze out of her as a teenager in nigeria

This no smacking law is very strong in new Zealand. Smack a child and your life is gone but I know a lot of newzealanders that will give an arm to have that law Revoked. One of them has a daughter who if them bring that girl to me for one week, I swear she will return home a changed being

Sisi_Kill:
Will you please gerrout outta here with this your useless mother in law nonsense?

If you want someone that will be teri-baleing even for the ants in your house just because you did her a favor by marrying her, go marry a baboon in the bush.

Here in the real world, people EARN the respect they are awarded.

Nonsense!!

siskill thnks a lot for this reply, the idiot has been irritating me seriously with his useless post, mother inlaw indeed

There's an adage in Yoruba that says 'Bami na omo mi, ko de inu Olomo' ie, 'Pls help me beat my child, d parent of such child does not support it' For that alone, I only beat my child. My Mother-in-law proposed bringing a family niece for me from their village and I politely refused. As regards in-laws, it's best to stay clear, avoid unnecessary communication eg, gossips, insult , humiliation. I took my in-laws as my siblings initially but eventually saw what dey where capable of when I gave birth to my daughter. I didn't fight them when their humiliation was @ max, cos I repeatedly reminded myself of keeping my home. Even my Sis-in-law threatened to send me back to my father's house cos I cut my daughter's hair @that stage,I informed my people officially.

Sisi_Kill:
Will you please gerrout outta here with this your useless mother in law nonsense?

If you want someone that will be teri-baleing even for the ants in your house just because you did her a favor by marrying her, go marry a baboon in the bush.

Here in the real world, people EARN the respect they are awarded.

Nonsense!!

Haba calm down naa. Shebi it is a Nigerian thing, this is the way all Nigerians especially yoruba's think abi don't you know.

Exactly what I told dayo that people gat different upbringing, there is nothing like Nigerian rule/law. Tell me how it is normal for a Nigerian man to think that way? If it is, then dayo must have the same mentality .

Abeg una good night

Sisi_Kill:
Will you please gerrout outta here with this your useless mother in law nonsense?

If you want someone that will be teri-baleing even for the ants in your house just because you did her a favor by marrying her, go marry a baboon in the bush.

Here in the real world, people EARN the respect they are awarded.

Nonsense!!

YOU ARE GETTING UNNECESSARILY ARROGANT AND WORKED UP ON A NO BRAINER ISSUE.

I TOLD YOU WHAT THE CULTURE AND TRADITION SAYS I AM NOT THE ONE THAT BROUGHT IT UP. READ MY STAND ON THIS ISSUE ON MY POSTS.

INSTEAD OF GOING BALLISTIC WITH YOUR UNWARRANTED PROVOCATION, YOU SHOULD INVESTIGATE MY CLAIM AND NOT RUDELY ASK ME TO GERRAOUT.

THAT IS THE MISTAKE YOU LADIES MAKE THESE DAYS AND RUSH INTO A HOME WHERE YOU CANT COPE AND COME BACK CRYING BECAUSE OF SPILLED MILK : P.

NO WONDER MARRIAGES BREAK UP ON DAY 12 COS THE REALITY HAS NOT YET DAWN ON YOU ON WHAT YOU PUT YOUR HEAD IN.

@ Jenny that's why some nigerian parents send their stubborn kids back to nigeria. @ sisikill, pls are you yoruba, if you are pls can you explain why my inlaws will tell me not to call my husbands junior brothers by their name, even if they are far my junior. Sorry for derailing. Also why wud I marry a man 10 years my senior and call him Sir.people say it is the yoruba tradition.

Sisi_Kill:
Will you please gerrout outta here with this your useless mother in law nonsense?

If you want someone that will be teri-baleing even for the ants in your house just because you did her a favor by marrying her, go marry a baboon in the bush.

Here in the real world, people EARN the respect they are awarded.

Nonsense!!

He just doesn't know how m0ronic he sounds with the mother-inlaw rubbish.

Chitos: There's an adage in Yoruba that says 'Bami na omo mi, ko de inu Olomo' ie, 'Pls help me beat my child, d parent of such child does not support it' For that alone, I only beat my child. My Mother-in-law proposed bringing a family niece for me from their village and I politely refused. \

As regards in-laws, it's best to stay clear, avoid unnecessary communication eg, gossips, insult , humiliation.

YOU ARE THE WISE WOMAN HERE NOT ALL THESE GIRLS STILL FEELING FUNKY.

THE BEST THING IS TO STAY CLEAR. INSTEAD OF STARTING A BATTLE YOUR HUSBAND WOULD EVENTUALLY BE CONFUSED ON WHOSE REPORT HE IS TO ACT ON LATER.

dammytosh:

YOU ARE GETTING UNNECESSARILY ARROGANT AND WORKED UP ON A NO BRAINER ISSUE.

I TOLD YOU WHAT THE CULTURE AND TRADITION SAYS I AM NOT THE ONE THAT BROUGHT IT UP. READ MY STAND ON THIS ISSUE ON MY POSTS.

INSTEAD OF GOING BALLISTIC WITH YOUR UNWARRANTED PROVOCATION, YOU SHOULD INVESTIGATE MY CLAIM AND NOT RUDELY ASK ME TO GERRAOUT.

THAT IS THE MISTAKE YOU LADIES MAKE THESE DAYS AND RUSH INTO A HOME WHERE YOU CANT COPE AND COME BACK CRYING BECAUSE OF SPILLED MILK : P.

NO WONDER MARRIAGES BREAK UP ON DAY 12 COS THE REALITY HAS NOT YET DAWN ON YOU ON WHAT YOU PUT YOUR HEAD IN.

You are a certified specialist in talking trash and it won't hurt if you stopped typing with your caps lock on,people still see what people write when they write properly,typing in all capital letters won't make people take your post as the right thing.

Its irritating to say the least.

freecocoa:

He just doesn't know how m0ronic he sounds with the mother-inlaw rubbish.

LEARN FROM CHITOS' POST OR RISK BEING SLAPPED FOR SAYING YOUR INLAW SOUNDS MORONIC JUST FOR EXPLAINING WHAT AN ARCHAIC TRADITION AND CULTURE SAYS.
(COS I CAN'T REMEMBER SAYING IT IS RIGHT.)

jennykadry:

Haba calm down naa. Shebi it is a Nigerian thing, this is the way all Nigerians especially yoruba's think abi don't you know.

Exactly what I told dayo that people gat different upbringing, there is nothing like Nigerian rule/law. Tell me how it is normal for a Nigerian man to think that way? If it is, then dayo must have the same mentality .

Abeg una good night

My dear it is just him oooo, he obviously does not see anything wrong in the BIL beating-up the woman, and yet sees a 14year old as a minor and being abused, she is a minor to corrections and beatings and when men like him see her outside, she will not be a minor to p/r/i/c/k.

dammytosh:


LEARN FROM CHITOS' POST OR RISK BEING SLAPPED FOR SAYING YOUR INLAW SOUNDS MORONIC JUST FOR EXPLAINING WHAT AN ARCHAIC TRADITION AND CULTURE SAYS.
(COS I CAN'T REMEMBER SAYING IT IS RIGHT.)

I honestly don't even know what to say to you again,your case is tiresome.

ronkebp:

My dear it is just him oooo, he obviously does not see anything wrong in the BIL beating-up the woman, and yet sees a 14year old as a minor and being abused, she is a minor to corrections and beatings and when men like him see her outside, she will not be a minor to p/r/i/c/k.

I think it is wicked to assert that i dont see any wrong in beating up the woman. Nobody can touch my wife cos i am wise enough to protect and prevent her from getting to that level.
The simple law is that no inlaw comes to stay with us and i still maintain that it is wrong to beat an in-law whether you are a lady or a guy.

And throughout my post i did not insult any one to warrant any insult.

steph7: Thank you Jenny, I have a family friend that grew up in UK, as a teen she was already moving with bad gangs. Her mother spanked her. She called the cops the mother was let go with a warning. Fast forward ten years later, dis girl does drugs, smokes, sleeps with anything. Do you think the mother wouldn't have beaten the craze out of her as a teenager in nigeria

And the people who do drugs in Nigeria and steal, turn armed robbers were not beaten?

I have several friends who were beaten and turned out to be armed robbers. Whats the guarantee that if that girl was beaten she wouldnt turn to a smoker, junkie and what ever

Can you say spanking children helps the society in anyway?

Foolish family, stupid husband
It is the way you portray your husband/wife that they will be treated
I am 100% sure the man does not hold the wife in high regards in front of his relatives.

The wife should not even bother with the in-law.
Face the husband squarely, by the time she finishes dealing with him, the in-law tries even calling her by name, the man would have responded with a violent bang.
My advice will only work if there is love/sanity in the hubby's heart for her though.

Arin fin oshi. The girl must have dragged herself so badly in front of them.

jennykadry:

I remember pr001 a nairalander replying your post once and I quote him saying "does everything have to be black or white?"

Is it not also African to marry more than one wife? Why have we still got men like your dad and my dad still married to our mothers and them alone?

Its so convenient to choose one and leave the other.

Instead of condemning all sort of physical abuse, We are excusing one. later some men would say beating a woman is not bad but beating a fellow man is bad. What is the difference

All form of Physical abuse is wrong

jennykadry:

This no smacking law is very strong in new Zealand. Smack a child and your life is gone but I know a lot of newzealanders that will give an arm to have that law Revoked. One of them has a daughter who if them bring that girl to me for one week, I swear she will return home a changed being

How did that No smacking law come into play in the first place? isnt it because majority of the people prefer it? If the law was unpopular it would have been repealed

Maybe no one has been able to prove smacking does any good to the child.

dammytosh:

I think it is wicked to assert that i dont see any wrong in beating up the woman. Nobody can touch my wife cos i am wise enough to protect and prevent her from getting to that level.
The simple law is that no inlaw comes to stay with us and i still maintain that it is wrong to beat an in-law whether you are a lady or a guy.

And throughout my post i did not insult any one to warrant any insult.

thought i was replying to Dayokanu!!!!

ronkebp:

My dear it is just him oooo, he obviously does not see anything wrong in the BIL beating-up the woman, and yet sees a 14year old as a minor and being abused, she is a minor to corrections and beatings and when men like him see her outside, she will not be a minor to p/r/i/c/k.

Exactly what is your point?

My own point is beating any human is wrong be it child, wife, houseboy, driver or neighbour. And in this particular case both of them were wrong.

So whats your own point? State it and lets know where you stand.

vanitty: Foolish family, stupid husband
It is the way you portray your husband/wife that they will be treated
I am 100% sure the man does not hold the wife in high regards in front of his relatives.

The wife should not even bother with the in-law.
Face the husband squarely, by the time she finishes dealing with him, the in-law tries even calling her by name, the man would have responded with a violent bang.
My advice will only work if there is love/sanity in the hubby's heart for her though.

Arin fin oshi. The girl must have dragged herself so badly in front of them.

I agree with this.

The problem with Nigerians is that they dont see anything wrong as long as it doesnt happen to them

A man thinks beating him is wrong but doesnt see anything bad in beating wife, driver, or staff/Apprentice

A woman thinks beating her is wrong, But she doesnt see anything wrong in beating other women or househelp

The child thinks beating him/her is wrong but doesnt see anything wrong in beating his/her younger ones

Why cant we simply condemn all form of violence

Sisi_Kill:
Will you please gerrout outta here with this your useless mother in law nonsense?

If you want someone that will be teri-baleing even for the ants in your house just because you did her a favor by marrying her, go marry a baboon in the bush.

Here in the real world, people EARN the respect they are awarded.

Nonsense!!

What a real world indeed. If it is a real world, why do you not carry palm wine and set out to marry a man? You can not eat your cake and have it. If you remotely think this is a real world, do not abuse a minor period. African method of discipline begets African reality. If you slap your husband’s relatives, you shall receive a beat down.

dayokanu:

Exactly what is your point?

My own point is beating any human is wrong be it child, wife, houseboy, driver or neighbour. And in this particular case both of them were wrong.

So whats your own point? State it and lets know where you stand.

So Dayo, you cannot correct a 14 year old that is living with you? it does not matter what form of correction is given? because the same girl that reported to her dad she was slapped, will also report to him when she is asked to kneel down....so because she is 14 (minor) she is above correction.