blaise26.abj:

@ fellis: Please try to deeply understand what he is saying. take time to digest it. He just spoke with a lot of depth. There are families that run against the societal standards and they do fine. Cheating is wrong and should be condemned. But the fact still remains that the society has a standard expected of you based on gender as well as passes for misconduct. It is like an unwritten law culled from the way a particular society evolved. I disagree with ur statement that ladies can chop and clean mouth unless you talk about one-night stands. But cheating with a particular person repeatedly for a woman needs a degree of connection while a man can easily "compartmentalize" their emotions. Woe betides the marriage of a woman whose husband is really in love with another woman.

You need to re-read @Fellis statement to deeply understand it as well. She is telling you that the statement in bold is WRONG . . baseless. Because

a) That ability is not unique to men alone. Yes, women are also able to engage in long-term relationships without serious emotional ties like the men folk. Yes, women can also clean mouth and many of them do just that in their extra-marital affairs. You are more likely to find cases of men running away with the other woman than you are of women running away with the other man in their lives.

b) Men are not entirely emotionless creatures as you claim or the number of men abandoning their wives for other women would not be as high as it is in Nigeria

Unless you want to lie to yourself, you will admit that in Africa, it seems more the case that men are emotional cheaters than the women-folk.

Kobojunkie:

You need to re-read @Fellis statement to deeply understand it as well. She is telling you that the statement in bold is WRONG . . baseless. Because

a) That ability is not unique to men alone. Yes, women are also able to engage in long-term relationships without serious emotional ties like the men folk. Yes, women can also clean mouth and many of them do just that in their extra-marital affairs. You are more likely to find cases of men running away with the other woman than you are of women running away with the other man in their lives.

b) Men are not entirely emotionless creatures as you claim or the number of men abandoning their wives for other women would not be as high as it is in Nigeria

Unless you want to lie to yourself, you will admit that in Africa, it seems more the case that[b] men are emotional cheaters[/b] than the women-folk.

There is never a hard and fast rule to anything. There are always exceptions. But what i'm saying is that vast majority of women are emotional creatures. @ the bolded i never said guys are not emotional. i said Guys can compartmentalize their emotions easily. This is consistent in most guys.In a normal situation For guys sex and love(a strong emotion) are two separate entities. And They are addressed separately. that is y a guy can be walking and without seeing anything, gbam, be aroused. For majority of ladies, she has to be fine-tuned emotionally before arousal except during some periods.

Lastly, the point where u said "without serious emotional ties" what we are trying to tell you is that guys can feel absolutely nothing, i mean absolutely nothing and still have sex. Women, on the other hand, usually have a degree of emotional attachment( even if it is not serious) if they are consistent in cheating with a particular guy. But again there are exceptions. bt i'm talking about majority of ladies.

blaise26.abj:

There is never a hard and fast rule to anything. There are always exceptions. But what i'm saying is that vast majority of women are emotional creatures.

But the evidence shows that is not the case. Woman are emotional beings . .. granted . . . however when it comes to extra-marital affairs, men are more emotional since, again, more men abandon their wives for their lovers than women. So the other @Poster is right in telling you that it is not about some exception but about the majority of cases that women are less emotional than the men folk when it comes to extra-marital affairs. You can still count the number of divorces initiated by women in Nigeria, than you can the number of divorces/abandonments initiated by men, meaning your statement is wrong.

blaise26.abj:

@ the bolded i never said guys are not emotional. i said Guys can compartmentalize their emotions easily. This is consistent in most guys.In a normal situation For guys sex and love(a strong emotion) are two separate entities. And They are addressed separately. that is y a guy can be walking and without seeing anything, gbam, be aroused. For majority of ladies, she has to be fine-tuned emotionally before arousal except during some periods.

We are not asking you of what is normal according to you and the rationale you have for yourself on how things should work. Consider the numbers. Majority of married men in Nigeria are more likely to cheat and leave their marriages for the other woman than the women folk are. That is what the numbers say . . the increase in divorce/abandonment rate has not been pushed by the women but majorly by men, and many of them leaving with the other women.

blaise26.abj:

Lastly, the point where u said "without serious emotional ties" what we are trying to tell you is that guys can feel absolutely nothing, i mean absolutely nothing and still have sex. Women, on the other hand, usually have a degree of emotional attachment( even if it is not serious) if they are consistent in cheating with a particular guy. But again there are exceptions. bt i'm talking about majority of ladies.

Again, I like to concern myself with the facts, and not the boxed up opinions in people's heads. It is possible for women to have affairs(emotional or non) and at the end of the day, these women remain in their marriages. However, in Nigeria, the high rates of abandonment/divorces innitiated by men leads one to one conclusion and one conclusion alone. Men do get emotionally tied up in these affairs and abandon their marriages for their lovers majority of the time, than women do. It is that simple.

Kobojunkie:
But the evidence shows that is not the case. Woman are emotional beings . .. granted . . . however when it comes to extra-marital affairs, men are more emotional since, again, more men abandon their wives for their lovers than women. So the other @Poster is right in telling you that it is not about some exception but about the majority of cases that women are less emotional than the men folk when it comes to extra-marital affairs. You can still count the number of divorces initiated by women in Nigeria, than you can the number of divorces/abandonments initiated by men, meaning your statement is wrong.

We are not asking you of what is normal according to you and the rationale you have for yourself on how things should work. Consider the numbers. Majority of married men in Nigeria are more likely to cheat and leave their marriages for the other woman than the women folk are. That is what the numbers say . . the increase in divorce/abandonment rate has not been pushed by the women but majorly by men, and many of them leaving with the other women.

Again, I like to concern myself with the facts, and not the boxed up opinions in people's heads. It is possible for women to have affairs(emotional or non) and at the end of the day, these women remain in their marriages. However, in Nigeria, the high rates of abandonment/divorces innitiated by men leads one to one conclusion and one conclusion alone. Men do get emotionally tied up in these affairs and abandon their marriages for their lovers majority of the time, than women do. It is that simple.

I guess we are now back to the main topic. I'm discussing with you on how guys/ladies tick concerning this issue. A man that truly loves his wife b4 marriage will not abandon/divorce her in marriage even if he cheats (again i state again that cheating is wrong). I know you know that people marry for different reasons other than love and compatibility and once that reason is removed a guy won't stay for sentiments like "lemme stay for the kids" or "what will the society think of me". He just moves on (again compartmentalization sets in) while a lady especially in Africa, will think about these things b4 initiating divorce. In the west and europe, women care abt these things too but are less handicapped by the society to make a choice to kick a man out to the curbs. Remove these things and u will see a flood of nigerian women leave their marriages when they see the frauds they married.

Kobojunkie: A man who truly loves his wife can be reformed like the Op's case. But if they married for the wrong reasons, she would not have been this successful. All my previous comments as well as Genius101s' (i hope) is to let u know that the nigerian society allows things to be like that.

Again, i will say u should google the issue of emotional attachments in men and women.

blaise26.abj:

I guess we are now back to the main topic. I'm discussing with you on how guys/ladies tick concerning this issue. A man that truly loves his wife b4 marriage will not abandon/divorce her in marriage even if he cheats (again i state again that cheating is wrong). I know you know that people marry for different reasons other than love and compatibility and once that reason is removed a guy won't stay for sentiments like "lemme stay for the kids" or "what will the society think of me". He just moves on (again compartmentalization sets in) while a lady especially in Africa, will think about these things b4 initiating divorce.

Again, in Africa, the trend is majority of the abandonment/divorces are initiated by the men. Unless you have a solid litmus test on finding out who loves and who doesn't, I suggest we don't even go there.

What the case is, is that men do get emotionally involved in their extra-marital affairs and as a result majority of the abandonment/divorce cases in africa are initiated by the men folk. Unless again, you are able to produce some 90%(at least) litmus test to show that those who formed emotional ties with their lovers and eventially left their marriages for their lovers never really loved their wives, or you are able to show that these men did not form emotional bonds with the lovers but left with them anyways, I am sorry but you are not arguing this correctly at all.

blaise26.abj:

In the west and europe, women care abt these things too but are less handicapped by the society to make a choice to kick a man out to the curbs. Remove these things and u will see a flood of nigerian women leave their marriages when they see the frauds they married.

Correction: In the west, there is no evidence that women are more likely to get divorced than men. So get rid of that opinion you have of things being opposite in the west. The trend is about the same. Women do have affairs but again, a huge majority of divorces and cases of abandonment are initiated by the men.

To a large proportion, divorce cases initiated by the wife is usually in response to the partner's cheating.

blaise26.abj:

Kobojunkie: A man who truly loves his wife can be reformed like the Op's case. But if they married for the wrong reasons, she would not have been this successful. All my previous comments as well as Genius101s' (i hope) is to let u know that the nigerian society allows things to be like that.

Again, i will say u should google the issue of emotional attachments in men and women.

Please stop with this "truly loves his wife" phrase you keep throwing around. Marriage is built on more than just love. There is no test out there to determine if people married for the right or wrong reasons. To them it is the right reasons and the marriage happened. Once marriage has happened, it has. So unless you are about to tell us that more than 80% of the marriage in Africa were for wrong reasons, I suggest you stay away from such insinuations.

Also, @the OP's case is not proven since You read that because the husband now pays attention to her, he must have stopped cheating. What you have there is the women telling you, again, what she thinks is happening. Nowhere are you told that the man definitely is no longer cheating . . only he now pays her more attention, buys her more things, and spends more time with here. Until you hear the man;s side of the story, I don't think it is sound to jump to the conclusion that the man has definitely changed.

On google, I don't think any reputable google source will try to feed be the biased information you try to feed us here, even against facts.

@ Kobojunkie; you keep talking about litmus tests/studies. please kindly tell me about the ones you have had the privilege to study that says men initiate divorces more than women and kindly send me the links. I am open to correction with facts. I agree that marriage is not just about love. But it is an integral part of it. Pls again Kobojunkie, i didn't say in the West and Europe women initiate divorces more than men. I said their society doesn't hold them back or castigate them for doing so like in Africa where double standards are in the favour of men in that regard.

Yes the Op's case does not remotely say he has stopped cheating. But he has become a better husband and father. Spending more time with his family and less time cheating (that is if he still does). There is no bias here and i'm not forcing anything down your throat. i expect a reasonable discussion in this forum in relation to what the Op said. We learn every day. I'm NOT arguing. Can we keep discussing Kobojunkie?

blaise26.abj:
@ Kobojunkie; you keep talking about litmus tests/studies. please kindly tell me about the ones you have had the privilege to study that says men initiate divorces more than women and kindly send me the links. I am open to correction with facts. I agree that marriage is not just about love. But it is an integral part of it. Pls again Kobojunkie, i didn't say in the West and Europe women initiate divorces more than men. I said their society doesn't hold them back or castigate them for doing so like in Africa where double standards are in the favour of men in that regard.

See, I don't need a litmus test. I simply need to point to the high divorce rate in the nigerian society today.

On what is obtained in the west, the very fact that society does not castigate the women in much the same way it does Nigerian women, should lead you to expect then that then the rate of abandonment/divorce initiated by women, if women really develop more emotional attachments, should rival that of the men. But that is not the case at all.

blaise26.abj:

Yes the Op's case does not remotely say he has stopped cheating. But he has become a better husband and father. Spending more time with his family and less time cheating (that is if he still does). There is no bias here and i'm not forcing anything down your throat. i expect a reasonable discussion in this forum in relation to what the Op said. We learn every day. I'm NOT arguing. Can we keep discussing Kobojunkie?

So you do know then that it is possible that the man still cheats on his wife? Then how can we then agree with the OPs comment that you can change a cheating husband by her acts? If all that we can confirm has really change is the number of hours in the day he spends with her, and her kids, and how much attention she claims she gets from him?

salt 1: The man was enjoying the attention he was receiving and when she stopped giving it, he changed his style. It is ok if all your friend wants is to be his legally married wife. Good thing too, that he agrees to using condoms with his wife. Some husbands won't. They will insist on killing both themselves and the wife.
Now she expressly approves of his adultery and he showers her with gifts for accepting the role of a mother. She may soon accompany him to settle paternity issues involving him and the girls she sleeps with.
Since you are her friend, tell her to get a job, if she doesn't have one. She shd also pour her love into her children, if she has some.
Actually, she is not married. She is co-habiting. Unless TRUST is no more an element in marriage

u got it right! she ain't married, they re just cohabiting!

salt 1: The man was enjoying the attention he was receiving and when she stopped giving it, he changed his style. It is ok if all your friend wants is to be his legally married wife. Good thing too, that he agrees to using condoms with his wife. Some husbands won't. They will insist on killing both themselves and the wife.
Now she expressly approves of his adultery and he showers her with gifts for accepting the role of a mother. She may soon accompany him to settle paternity issues involving him and the girls she sleeps with.
Since you are her friend, tell her to get a job, if she doesn't have one. She shd also pour her love into her children, if she has some.
Actually, she is not married. She is co-habiting. Unless TRUST is no more an element in marriage

u got it right! she ain't married, they re just cohabiting and the MRS title to her name! i don't understand how a woman knows her husband is cheatin on her and still sleep wit him!

m.k.o2005:


''Wives in the same way submit yourselves to ur own husbands so that if any of them do not believe the word,they may be WON OVER without words by the behaviour of their wives,when they see the PURITY and REVERENCE of your lives.your beauty should not come from outward adornment,such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.Rather,it should be that of your INNER SELF,the unfading beauty of a GENTLE and SPIRIT,which is of great worth in God's sight.For this is the way the HOLY WOMEN of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves.They SUBMITTED themselves to their OWN HUSBANDS''1 Peter 3:1-7

Funny enough people find it difficult to listen to the word of God,there by making it difficult for the holy spirit to teach them.
The best way of winning a cheating husband over is to submit according to the above scripture.@Op,you have finished your own.No one should think divorce is an option at all.Though for Godly people and not for world people !

i always appreciate it when people state their opinions and leave the Bible out of it. don't cherry pick wat suits u from the Bible pls. wat do u think the word to submit means? or is it women alone that are to follow the Bible? is a man not commanded to love his wife unconditionally? does a cheat love his wife? pls, biko, ejo, leave the Bible alone! if u claim to be a christian and want your wife to submit to you, be ready to love her unconditionally!

Clemzy16: The wife only stayed because the guy was rich.

+1000

Kingsleyinfo:

that is exactly why the woman here has applied wisdom.
marriage is for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part.
there is nothing i fear more than those vows o....
if the woman choose to respect her vows, and find a solution that works then why not?

please there is a huge difference between boyfriend and husband.
if your boyfriend is cheating, dump his behind.
if your husband is cheating....that one na bad market
na to find way to benefit from the scenario be that.
untill Nigeria passes a law that makes cheating partners to pay during divorce proceedings
men will continue to misbehave.

and while they are misbehaving, fighting them has never and will never solve anything.

i have noticed you and dwas and wise sirs, i have a question: what would you advise a man to do if his wife is a serial cheat? hoping to hear soon from you sirs.

bukatyne: i have noticed you and dwas and wise sirs, i have a question: what would you advise a man to do if his wife is a serial cheat? hoping to hear soon from you sirs.

I know its a difficult situation irrespective of who is involve, however if a woman is a serial cheat, the man should keep loving her. Fighting her will only worsen the situation. I paused for a while, can I cope really with such a woman? hmmm!!! I pray that I should never experience such. Nevertheless, you can never tell what your action could be except you experience it. Until our confessions and faith is tested, we can never be too certain of our true person.

Like I said earlier, I will focus on God and continue to love her, though my current faith on this is not completely tested.

blank: So, if i understand you, a woman that is being cheated on should just ignore it as long as na she be madam? That the husband will then tire of his philandeering ways and become the loving husband he once was? Okay.

so wats ur own solution?

dwas:

I know its a difficult situation irrespective of who is involve, however if a woman is a serial cheat, the man should keep loving her. Fighting her will only worsen the situation. I paused for a while, can I cope really with such a woman? hmmm!!! I pray that I should never experience such. Nevertheless, you can never tell what your action could be except you experience it. Until our confessions and faith is tested, we can never be too certain of our true person.

Like I said earlier, I will focus on God and continue to love her, though my current faith on this is not completely tested.

i will simply kill de woman

bukatyne: i have noticed you and dwas and wise sirs, i have a question: what would you advise a man to do if his wife is a serial cheat? hoping to hear soon from you sirs.

dear madam bukatyne
we in warri usually say, na who nor dey house naim dey claim say im go fit beat police
you really need to be in this scenario or close to it to understand what it means to have
a cheating husband start paying more attention to you and the kids and giving you the respect that you deserve.

may i remind you that this is Africa, you girls should stop using Hollywood drama scenarios to judge African marriages.
untill of recent it was and still is(in certain parts) considered okay for a man to have concubines outside his matrimonial home.

am I in support of such, certainly NO, but is it a fact, certainly YES.
we are talking about a real life scenario, where someone found a way to make her husband be more respecting of their marital vows.
How many women in her scenario have been able to achieve that considering the term Chronic was applied to the man.

One thing myself and DWAS has been trying to point out is not for women to tolerate cheating men,
what we are saying is that women could make an effort in restoring sanctity in their home, and certainly that can never be gotten by fighting.

like i always tell people i come across, there is always a better way to handle every situation and bring about peace.

Go read my previous post and you would see where i said that similar solution was applied to a similar case, which i was at the center of albeit not directly affected by it.
is this solution a master plan to make cheating men stop, definetely no, is it worth a try, of course it is.
silence is golden, and sometimes can be the most effective medicine in cases like this, for the sake of your health and your peace of mind.

Wisdom is profitable to direct,

to all Ladies, married men didn't start cheating when they got married, majority have been doing it before you got married to them,
and most of you forgave them, and still went ahead to get married to them.
now that you are married its just too late to cry wolf, you knew exactly what you were getting yourself into, but you were hoping he would change once he got married.

@bukatyne
like i answered the first person who asked me this same question?
there is no way on God's green earth that i would find myself with a woman who is a serial cheater

but its possible that my wife could later cheat on me,(but not in the chronic sense) and then i would first have to examine myself if i had not truly done anything to push her to that extent.
men and women are wired differently,
ya'll need to stop comparing yourselves to us,
women are unique in their own way

and finally NO one is supporting CHEATING, what we are saying is that,
should you now be finding out(which i seriously doubt) that your Honey pie of a husband is a womanizer
there are better alternatives than fighting with him..... just find a solution that is unique to your situation.

THE MORE YOU FIGHT OR ARGUE WITH A MAN ABOUT HIS BAD HABITS THE MORE HE GOES DEEPER INTO THEM.
AGAIN WISDOM is profitable to direct.

I hope men are learning from this woman? They should not throw out or leave a cheating wife. Give her good sex when she asks for it, keep her purse fat and pretend you don't notice her come home late. Divorce is not the only option. If a cheating husband can be "petted" till he changes a cheating wife can also be "petted" till she changes.

That woman made her choice. It doesn't mean all men will change. Some will beat you to death if you don't give way for susu to come in. A cheating man is a health and life risk.

justwise: She did not change him, he bought her.

Thank you.

So how can we change a cheating wife?

stillwater: So how can we change a cheating wife?

MAGUN

@poster, I totally disagree with you. The woman was just lucky, you cannot advice women to try that out at all. If it were the other way round, would you advice men to try out that method? I am happily married with children, I will not and never try that at all. CHEATING should never be encouraged. In my career life, I have come across at least 4 women that their cheating husbands passed on deadly diseases to. Please no one should encourage cheating. If a spouse is chaeting and you are not able to talk it over for the person to change, calmly ask to leave the marriage. I like it when people see an issue with same perspective towards both gender. Cheers friends.

stillwater: So how can we change a cheating wife?

According to @Kingsleyinfo,and his bible gang, a man that is being cheated on should just ignore it as long as na he be oga. That the wife will then tire of her philandeering ways and become the loving wife she once was. Abi no be so!

Kobojunkie:

According to @Kingsleyinfo,and his bible gang, a man that is being cheated on should just ignore it as long as na he be oga. That the wife will then tire of her philandeering ways and become the loving wife she once was. Abi no be so!

Na so o!

Kingsleyinfo:
MAGUN

Thought you were a staunch bible believing Christian. You practice magun too?

stillwater:

Na so o!



Thought you were a staunch bible believing Christian. You practice magun too?

You already have a variant of it on you.

You try and gbensh any guy and see how he would pick hoover and start hoovering all day and all night in only a kitchen apron until I get there.

Kobojunkie:

According to @Kingsleyinfo,and his bible gang, a man that is being cheated on should just ignore it as long as na he be oga. That the wife will then tire of her philandeering ways and become the loving wife she once was. Abi no be so!

oga marram

Abeg do wetin please you make we rest o

we all know what obtains in Nigeria
how many women can cheat on their husbands in Nigeria and flaunt it in their Husbands face.
we are talking reality, some are assuming fantasy
cheating wife ko, cheating children ni

i tire to talk jare....

make una go marry make we see sef

infact naim good for any woman when marry man wen dey cheat on am sef
na who send am make she nor shine her eyes well

on a final note i can never fail to remember an advice a friend gave to me when i was still playing hot head
armed with the knowledge that my friends of the same age have been living on their own as at that time
i packed my things one day and decided to leave my mom's house because i felt she was being too controlling.

untill my friend simply asked me one question... "have you ever fed yourself for one whole week"
it was then i came back to reality and realized that i wasn't a tad ready for what i was about to get myself into.

nobody adviced me before i turned back and went home.

Reality is most times more difficult than how we want other people to think.
and am still waiting for an alternative solution o
miss or mr kobojunkie

because if i understand you correctly, the woman did the wrong thing by keeping the husband silent, and trying to live in peace
please tell us what you think she or women in her position should do.

and maybe you should try to understand that the woman obviously didn't do what she did to try and change the man,
she probably just got tired of the whole scenario, and decided to give herself peace. and for that i give her credit.

quarrel and violence has never been the best way to resolve any issue, if it has terrorism would have been a thing of the past.

marriage start breaking when communication lines become broken.(off topic though)

Kingsleyinfo:
oga marram

Abeg do wetin please you make we rest o

we all know what obtains in Nigeria
how many women can cheat on their husbands in Nigeria and flaunt it in their Husbands face.
we are talking reality, some are assuming fantasy
cheating wife ko, cheating children ni

i tire to talk jare....

make una go marry make we see sef

infact naim good for any woman when marry man wen dey cheat on am sef
na who send am make she nor shine her eyes well

on a final note i can never fail to remember an advice a friend gave to me when i was still playing hot head
armed with the knowledge that my friends of the same age have been living on their own as at that time
i packed my things one day and decided to leave my mom's house because i felt she was being too controlling.

untill my friend simply asked me one question... "have you ever fed yourself for one whole week"
it was then i came back to reality and realized that i wasn't a tad ready for what i was about to get myself into.

nobody adviced me before i turned back and went home.

Reality is most times more difficult than how we want other people to think.
and am still waiting for an alternative solution o
miss or mr kobojunkie

because if i understand you correctly, the woman did the wrong thing by keeping the husband silent, and trying to live in peace
please tell us what you think she or women in her position should do.

and maybe you should try to understand that the woman obviously didn't do what she did to try and change the man,
she probably just got tired of the whole scenario, and decided to give herself peace. and for that i give her credit.

quarrel and violence has never been the best way to resolve any issue, if it has terrorism would have been a thing of the past.

marriage start breaking when communication lines become broken.(off topic though)

So you don't even believe the bible at all? You quote it when it pleases you abi? So you are yet another hypocrite bible preacher, who drags the bible in when it suits him? You are here trying to tell "women" how they should act in their marriages when their marriage is defiled by their husbands, but the minute you are asked if you will do EXACTLY what you are suggesting these women do, you instead attempt to deflect from the issue.

The same Bible you have been quoting gives you @Prophet Hosea as an example of what you should do when your wife is cheating . . . Ignore her and continue being the good husband to her. Eventually things will work out, SOMEHOW .. that is what the Bible has to say of this. So do you reject that, I mean what the bible suggests you do ?

Kobojunkie:

So you don't even believe the bible at all? You quote it when it pleases you abi? So you are yet another hypocrite bible preacher, who drags the bible in when it suits him? You are here trying to tell "women" how they should act in their marriages when their marriage is defiled by their husbands, but the minute you are asked if you will do EXACTLY what you are suggesting these women do, you instead attempt to deflect from the issue.

The same Bible you have been quoting gives you @Prophet Hosea as an example of what you should do when your wife is cheating . . . Ignore her and continue being the good husband to her. Eventually things will work out, SOMEHOW .. that is what the Bible has to say of this. So do you reject that, I mean what the bible suggests you do ?

Madam can you please quote where i categorically told women what to do.

please stop going off topic.
its clear you can't reason from both side of the coin,
you can continue to fight your husband if that brings peace.

if you think you know better please give an advice,
this is the third time i am asking you to, proffer an alternative solution and you are still throwing lame punches about Hosea, and homar. Hosea opened his eyes and married a prostitute, he definitely new what he was getting himself into. so please stop painting the picture like a naive teenager, or are you?

please go read the laws of moses as amended by our lord Jesus christ.
No man should put aside his wife except in the case of infidelity...
in translation it means that if you find your wife/hubby guilty of infidelity, it is at your discretion to leave (not fight and NAG) [/b]him/her or stay.
the woman choose to stay and found an alternative solution. and trust me what she did wasn't easy, but it worked all the same.


go read the story again, the op clearly said maybe women [b]could not must try that approach instead of raising dust all the time.
divorce am una no go gree, oya leave the man to continue his philandering una nor go gree.
una think say na by fight naim man go take change?

you should try to give opinions only when you have totally comprehended a certain situation and made reasonable deductions from it.
in your case your are trying very hard to discredit her approach, which from the story, seems to be working for her.
live and let live joor

i know where this your mentality is coming from but i will leave it for another day to deal with it.
if you nor learn na life go teach you the hard way.
na so all of them they run mouth untill the real thing start...

cheating!cheating!!!!!!!!!!
Women shd keep silent when cheated on,hehe, have u pple 4gotten dt, its emotional, and if care is not taken, can land one to psychatric hospital, i dont subscibe to dt o, even in d bible, its justifiable to divorce based on adultery. D question is, can d men keep silent if dir wives are cheating on them?

greatgod2012: cheating!cheating!!!!!!!!!!
Women shd keep silent when cheated on,hehe, have u pple 4gotten dt, its emotional, and if care is not taken, can land one to psychatric hospital, i dont subscibe to dt o, even in d bible, its justifiable to divorce based on adultery. D question is, can d men keep silent if dir wives are cheating on them?

Kinglseyinfo has been asking for a solution to cheating, yet you girls won't proffer any. I agree with him that fighting alone won't change a man. It would only push him further away. SOLUTIONS WOMEN! Fighting won't work, thats for sure.

MEN MEN MEN Do not give out advice you can not take your self

dwas:

I know its a difficult situation irrespective of who is involve, however if a woman is a serial cheat, the man should keep loving her. Fighting her will only worsen the situation. I paused for a while, can I cope really with such a woman? hmmm!!! I pray that I should never experience such. Nevertheless, you can never tell what your action could be except you experience it. Until our confessions and faith is tested, we can never be too certain of our true person.

Like I said earlier, I will focus on God and continue to love her, though my current faith on this is not completely tested.

now, i understand that u re talking from a christian perspective. i thot ur views are more cultural