MacLovington: OP,

It seems you are having second thoughts or even afraid of commitment. Something women usually accuse men of.

I also think that your guy hasn't made it enough yet and in your opinion, he may seem not to have the potential to achieve the kind of status you expect your future husband to have.

Years from now you will have JD after your name. What will he have? Yes people can be that shallow and you are not alone. So be sincere to yourself and your guy. If you want to shop around first and make him your back-up, fine.

If you don't love him with all your heart, don't go into it just because he loves you. It will hurt everyone long term. The guy deserves a guy who equally loves him irrespective of his current stage in life.

I lived apart from my girl way longer than you guys have, and she didn't even have the right to visit at will. I never even thought of cheating one day despite a few temptations.

Oh noo. He has plenty of potential and he is not my back-up. I'm not shopping right now.

Onegai: OP, even though you say you want your bf, you're apprehensive over his coming back and his plans for your future, you want him to discuss said future immediately and that your plans are different from his. Well, I kinda agree with everyone that it seems you're not really into him anymore (maybe you never were). Try to figure out what is causing that, do you like him as a person, and are just managing till someone you like more comes to sweep you off your feet? Is something going on that makes him less attractive to you? The worst you can do is waste his and your time. I think you should have a clear talk with him, better for both of you to be free to go after what you really want than for you to feel like you're stuck with him, while he loves you. No?

I feel like my plans are different because I am more prepared than he is. His life is more disjointed. I do care about him and love him or else I would've ended things once he hopped on a plane. We complement each other well, there are things I've done with him that no other man has been able to get me to do or take interest in and I like that about him.
I don't feel stuck with him, I just tend to feel stuck being in a relationship with anyone for a certain period of time. Which is why I end all my relationships. Especially when you are as close to someone as I am to my bf it makes me feel vulnerable and not in control.

Baba1010: KateSpade: "I met someone about a two months ago. I've never felt so comfortable so quickly around another man as I do this man. Usually I am pretty shy and standoff-ish but with him things flow so easily. I certainly didn't expect to be attracted to someone because the only reason I met him is through work. However, I have a bf, I havent done anything but talk to this other guy but still I want to know.

Has anyone ever left a relationship for someone else or just to try dating someone else and then regretted it later? And what were your reasons to do so?

I could just be feeling this way because I'm currently in a long distance, but this other guy and I seem to have so much more in common and he would gel with my family and friends so easily'. https://www.nairaland.com/939369/regrets

There's no smoke without fire.

It's true. I did met someone while working over the summer. Although I was very comfortable around him quickly and he would gel easily into my family and friends that doesn't make him the best for for me. Comfort is fine and good but I need more than that, I need someone to challenge and push me. And although he is here in the same city he is not my bf, even tho my bf and I are quite different we share a lot of the same values. I couldn't leave my relationship I just couldn't but that doesn't mean I'm without doubts and temptations

Don Tim: i wish i knew dis guys num (d one comming back) would have talked some sense to him. got some questions for u though

1. did u have a bf b4 d coming guy?
2. did u develop an affair with the comming guy while still with old guy
3. has old guy proposed ?
4. i have a feeling old guy proposed / every one knows you with him (and you cant hide that when coming guy moves in with u)

@all, experience has proven that when a lady starts complaining, she isnt into d guy again otherwise op would have gone to buy some nice undies, scents, flowers, planned dinner, welcome party e.t.c and even have sleepless nyt over his coming.


in conclusion, you cant eat your cake and have it, u r probably a still growing and not experienced, a lot of teenagers are often myopic with their thoughts, cant settle wit a man on time,cos another comes quickly to do something different and exciting (wait till u r jilted over and over, you will be glad a man is coming for u after six months)

1. My bf is the only one, but I've had boyfriend before. When I got together with my bf I had been single for a while.
2. No affair, I met him while working and while talking I found out we have a lot of things in common.
3. no
4. no, he didnt propose.

I have prepared gifts for when the bf returns. I know what meal to cook, I even have gotten things engraved. There have been sleepless nights and tears a plenty even before he left just knowing about his departure.

Hmmm

Long distance relationship can be really difficult.It takes a lot of understanding and most importantly regular communication for it to work out.When the communication stops,its definitely geading for the rocks.Wish you the best dear

daddyhov: Long distance relationship can be really difficult.It takes a lot of understanding and most importantly regular communication for it to work out.When the communication stops,its definitely geading for the rocks.Wish you the best dear

Thanks!

Please do one last thing! Ask from God.He will provide the solution you needed! God be with you.

bejay766: Please do one last thing! Ask from God.He will provide the solution you needed! God be with you.

Will do. I used to send him devotionals and notes from church every Sunday since he left I need to do that again

KateSpade:

It's true. I did met someone while working over the summer. Although I was very comfortable around him quickly and he would gel easily into my family and friends that doesn't make him the best for for me. Comfort is fine and good but I need more than that, I need someone to challenge and push me. And although he is here in the same city he is not my bf, even tho my bf and I are quite different we share a lot of the same values. I couldn't leave my relationship I just couldn't but that doesn't mean I'm without doubts and temptations

Babe, what you need now is prayer, sit in a quiet place, go through this guys pictures, that should bring back some of his memory, think deep about it, then conclude if you wanna spend the rest of your life with him, time is not on your side to spend too much time with a man you prolly won't end up with. It's better to make the right decision now and be happy later than doing the other which i don't pray for.
'Ti o na koju si e, ko ta, to ba ko eyin si e ko ta, to ba ki IWo nikan ki o ro ori ara e wo'

@OP you are sensing the real problems, but you are afraid to acknowledge them. your attachment to him is real, but you know it is not love. you also doubt his true feeling for you. deep in your heart you know that this relationship is not meant to last forever. as someone has already said, it's best to sit quietly in prayer until you receive an answer.

Quickly fall in love again.

Decryptor: @OP, i know your problem...this guy must have travelled outta the country to hustle but unfortunately, things didn't go well with him financially. Now he's coming back home to start life afresh and u are trying to back out on him. If he had shipped in 6 solid jeeps from wherever he is coming from, you would'nt have posted this here...See why i can never give my heart to a Nigerian woman. I'd rather love my pet dog

Spot on. This is the answer to the summary of the OP.

Ok so this thread hasn't really advised me much, more so judgement. I appreciate the posts nonetheless and I'll do my best and pray and wait.

Sister, i must ask some questions first, 1. Were u guys keeping in touch while he was away? 2. Aw long was d relatnship before he left?
Speaking from experience, i was away from my baby for 10 months and wen we got back, it was hotter than before. Infact we are married now. Its all about what u want but first, u av to answer those questions.

beauty?:
Sister, i must ask some questions first, 1. Were u guys keeping in touch while he was away? 2. Aw long was d relatnship before he left?
Speaking from experience, i was away from my baby for 10 months and wen we got back, it was hotter than before. Infact we are married now. Its all about what u want but first, u av to answer those questions.

1.Yes we are keeping in touch
2. Hmmm we have been together for about a year before he left. (but there were times when we both were apart from each other during that year)

Congrats to you on your marriage.

KateSpade:

1.Yes we are keeping in touch
2. Hmmm we have been together for about a year before he left. (but there were times when we both were apart from each other during that year)

Congrats to you on your marriage.

thanx alot. but i still think distance isnt a barrier esp when both of u really love yourselves unconditionally