Sade iyare is on a looooong thing.

siddiq202:
what age can one think of getting married? 50

if not for menopause thing,i would have said women should get married starting from 40years and above.observe people who married at old age,they know how to keep their homes cos they are matured and mentally ready for it.people nwadays marry cos for fun not cos they REALLY want it.

Lack of tolerance, patience, understanding and unfaithfulness, sometimes lack of finances too. Also most ppl marry deze days for marriage sake(esp women) nt because dey luv dier spouse, probably dey r under pressure to get marry.

Reflects the price you pay for economic freedom. It's no coincidence that the richest economic nation in the world has the highest divorce rates

One of the biggest challenges in relationships comes from the fact that many of us enter a relationship in order to get something. We try to find someone who’s going to make us feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last, and give us joy in the long-term, is if we see our relationship as a place we go to give, and not just a place we go to take.

[quote author=Billyonaire]None of us were consulted before Marriage was constituted. You dont just impose a 1st century way of life on 21st Century people. Think of it, Bible says a woman was created because "Adam" was "lonely". 21st century 'Adams' are no more lonely, Computer games, Internet, BBM, FaceBooks etc keeps "Adam" non-lonely. So, we need to review the ideology of marriage and who ever constituted it without our collective consultation. All in favor, say 'Hi'. The "HI's" have it....Abeg na play i dey play o[/quote Marriage goes way before the 1st century. Gaskiya you are a nutty coo-koo Adam will always be lonely without Eve those gadget can never take her place

Toktee: I will neva promise for better and worst,thank God my church has change that slogan or what will i call,is nw for better for better,some women can hid their characters 4 years when u marry them after a month,they will start manifesting,.....i will not hasitate to kick such woman out of my houz.

Please what is the name of your church? Satan resides here church of nations?

No matter how well prepared you are for marriage, marital issues will still come up.
It is now how well you can handle these marital issues that defines the content of your marriage.

We are too religious these days up to the point that we expect GOD to do everything for us.
We pray about everything and then we fold our arms and do nothing, absolutely nothing.

"God will not do for a man what a man can do for himself" --- from the movie ODEYSEY

1. FLEXIBILITY --- many partners are just too rigid in their thinking and actions and this always leads to problems.
They often forget that marriage is about living a sacrificial life and sometimes you have to put yourself in your partners shoes
in order to understand/see things from their own point of view.
2. STRONG MANAGEMENT SKILL --- This is strongly required to survive marital issues. How well you can manage the minor issues
that will daily spring up before they become big "wahala" matters alot. Getting marital advise from marriage counsellors is one of
the many management tools needed in this age that everything happens so fast.
3. SECRETS --- This is one of the most critical angles to be completely avoided in marriage as most of the problems stem from
untruthfulness. No matter how difficult it is, try as much as possible to avoid lying. A bitter truth is better than a sweet lie.
4. DOGMA --- This is how we have been doing it does not mean that is how we must continue to do it.
In this different age, we need new and better ways of doing things. Dogmas can make marriage boring and rigid. Partners can create new
ideas together on how to do certain things and seek advice when in doubt.
5. FORGIVING SPIRIT --- I always love to use myself as an example on this point. There are certain people in my life that are given
"Advance forgiveness" and my wife is one of them. There is a cap though and she knows this. Many partners are not just forgiving enough.
This can be learnt if you don't have the spirit and it will make your life and marriage better.
6. YOUR PARTNER IS DIFFERENT --- many people behave to their partners how they will ordinarily behave to every other person.
Some men will even expect that their wives treat them the way the secretary in the office does and this is wrong. Knowing that your partner
is different and special and his/her place is different would make you treat them with much deserved respect even when err.
7. COMPARISM --- These days we spend so much time with others than we do with our partners and when we maybe have someone who is "nice' to us
we kind of want to judge our partners with such gestures and then we loose focus. I have seen this ruin many homes before and had it not been
for the sake of carefulness it may have ruined mine as well. No matter how "nice" that other person is, he/she can never add as much value to
you as your partner will, just because they (the other persons) don't have the GRACE to.

"Marriage is the only school where you receive your certificate before learning"

[size=26pt]Lack of thrust![/size]

sadeiyare: Prov.11:14 Where no counsel is, the people fall: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety.

No matter who or how anointed a person is, if their counsel is not scriptural, please don't take it. Just like the Bereans you have to search the bible for yourself to see if the marriage counselling they are giving is GOD's word. Many marriages have gone down the drains because a certain man of GOD was bais on the party I know basis, and gave a one-sided counsel. What GOD has joined together, let no man put assunder

I think marriage failures really has nothing to do with the counsel received before the marriage but the values and norms. one have come to inculcate or accept over one's lifetime. There are a variety of factors that has caused failures of marriages, and I think one of them is the throwing away of our cultural values and the increased acceptance of western values, that attempts to put the man and the woman on the same pedestal in marriage. Our culture teaches us a woman must be submissive and accept most of the shit the man is going to give (i.e you can't have 2 captains on the same ship). Secondly, the world of movies have painted a non-existent image of a perfect marriage, perfect-love life etc; most people seek this mirage which can only be found in hollywood / Nollywood movies; hence they get very disappointed early in the marriage, when the passion with which the marriage started naturally wither away (a normal course in marriage). Bottomline, we need to be real about what marriage is and most importantly we also need to be real about who the natural man is: Perhaps a place to start is for people to talk about what actually caused the marriages they know to have failed to fail. Most marriages that I know failed because the man was cheating or attempting to marry a second wife.

bejay766: Most Marriages fail because of immaturity, selfishness and greediness.Most couples fail to seek the face of God. Some even depend on their wealth, educational qualifications and beauty,(on the side of the Women).
.

On point!

OVER FEMINISM is the cause . Women now want to grow "pencils" between their legs so they can be equal (and alas, opposite) to men . We shall see.
****wey my bullet proof vest?***** shots will soon b fired at Meristem


69 likes

Hemanwel: Someone said marriages fail cos of immaturity.Dis wil lead me in2 askin:
At wot age do u tink a man/woman is mature or old enough 2 get married?
My parents hv bin 2geda 4 d past 35yrs;even though dey married at a tender age...
How did they even meet?Of course d classical way of findin a wife 4 a man...
From my own undastandin of Marriage,there r no universal standards;there r no theoretical applications.It all depends on d parties involvd.If dey UNDERSTAND each other,if one party can ENDURE n b PATIENT,then their marriage wil blossom...
My take though!

Maturity does not come with age. It comes with your ability, mentality and attitude to handling issues as they arise.

divinelove: I think its mainly due to incompatibility lack of commitment n unconditional love. Again going into marriage when d partners r nt ready to play their roles for the marriage to work. Provider vs helpmate

No two person is absolutely compatible.....MARRIAGE SHOULD BE AN ADVENTURE IN FORGIVENESS.

obowunmi: Sade iyare is on a looooong thing.

lol

mekaboy: SEX HAS BECOME CHEAP. THAT IS THE MAIN.REASON, IN THE PAST THE.ONLY WAY TO SLEEP WITH A GIRL WAS TO GET MARRIED, SO ONCE.UR MARRIED U STAY FOCUSED ON.UR WIFE BECAUSE IF U WANT ANOTHER WOMAN YOU HAVE TO DO ANOTHER WEDDING.

TODAY YOUNG GIRLS ARE EVEN LOOKING FOR MARRIED MEN. SO ITS EASY FOR MEN TO.GET TIRED OF THEIR WIVES OR WOMEN TO GET TIRED.

BECAUSE AS LONG AS YOU KEEP TASTING DIFFERENT DISHES OUTSIDE THE ONE YOU HAVE AT HOME BECOMES BORING.

nice perspective.

TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS THAT ITS ONLY SO MANY TIMES YOU CAN YANSH THE SAME PERSON WITHOUT WANTING TO COMMIT SUICIDE, ESPECIALLY WHEN THEIR BODY STARTS CHANGING. THIS IS WHERE YOU HAVE TO KILL THE CARNAL MAN AND IGNITE THE SPIRITUAL MAN. IF YOU ARE NOT OPERATING OUT OF SPIRITUAL GUIDANCE BY GOD, YOU CAN NEVER HAVE A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE BECAUSE LIKE I SAID, YOU GET TIRED OF YANSHING THE SAME PERSON. SO WHAT WILL KEEP YOU TOGETHER HAS TO BE SPIRITUAL AND NOT CARNAL.

Ibukunjah: Have you fellow nairalanders observed that the very joyous moments of many marriages, filled with anticipations for a blissful union suddenly get sour and "for better for worse" now turn to "for better for stay, for worse for go"? Are there steps to save these marriages? Please leave your comments.

[color=#770077][quote author=Ibukunjah]Have you fellow nairalanders observed that the very joy. I believe that women should go back to the place of prayer and make it work. Men are children that has refused to grow and they want to see everything under the skirt. And mind u love is not enough. Tolerance,understanding and patience. Be responsible women and be determined to make it work. Its more than feeling cos sometimes d feeling might not be there.

indoorlove: No two person is absolutely compatible.....MARRIAGE SHOULD BE AN ADVENTURE IN FORGIVENESS.

THIS IS DEEP

@ op Because Nigeria is becoming more westernized, nothing more than that.

A̶̲̥̅ marriage built on pretence 4rm eida or both sides Is bound 2 doom. Also, many r nt capable psychologically 2 cope wt unrealistic expectations bin lookd 4ward 2 get 4rm their respectiv partners. Also, where communication Is lackin...I tell Ɣ☺ΰ, nothin cud hold such marriage.

I quite agree with alot of the reasons been stated here as to why marriages fail...... However i ask do people actually marry these days or wed?

Sadly more emphasize is given to the wedding ( reception, asoebi, decor, wedding gown, bridal train, groom"s shoes, etc) than to the marriage (living as husband and wife after the wedding)... Gone are days when a bride to be was was literally " prepared" for her groom, now the preparation is all about which magazine would cover the wedding reception, what band will play, what colour of gele will the aunts tie, what souvenirs to give the guests etc...

Now i ask again what happens when the couple are left alone in their home, without been " prepped" on what to expect after the fanfare is over?

@Post

The rise in marriage failure especially in Nigeria is due to the following reasons:

People marry for the wrong reasons such as family and societal pressure to get married.

People don’t have what it takes to stay married such as tolerance, patience, self control, a forgiving heart, maturity etc

High rates of infidelity where the man is constantly cheating on the wife and vice versa

Negative aspects of our culture where the man desires male children by fire by force and if that does not happen with his legally married wife, he goes out there to marry another wife or get’s a lady pregnant

Lack of fear of God and disobeying God’s commandments as it pertains to marriage (for those who are Christians)

Laziness on the part of the man who is suppose to be the provider of the home. The man is perpetually unemployed and lives off his wife’s income with no intention to find a job and yet expects a submissive wife when even the bible considers a man who cannot provide for his family to be worse than an infidel

Many Nigerian ladies only prepare for the wedding and think about how they will look beautiful and be the envy of friends and family but many are not prepared for life after the wedding

The stress levels accompanying marriages these days is utterly unbearable. Sad Truth

Feminism, basically.

kpolli:

Some worse are the worst oooooo. . . . . One shouldn't sacrifice ones life cos of marriage

Beni oo. A cousin of mine ran away for her dear life wt her her 3 kids 10years ago wen d husband joined d tebliq sect and said his 14 year old first born shd get married to a member of dis religious sect while d other boys were told to stop schooling. D 3 kids are now in d university. Sometimes RELIGION can b a factor that can lead to marriage failure

let all d married men behave like abraham and all d married women behave like sarah, then there wil be a change.(reliance on GOD) is d magic.

4 me, if sacrifice, undastanding nd compatibility is missin. Its gonna head 4 d rocks.

Kobojunkie: I think it is fantasy to think one can prepare for marriage. Sort of like saying one has to prepare for life. Marriage has lessons to teach you that you cannot learn anywhere else. I mean we have a culture that believes in preparing women for marriage, but even with all the preparation, the statistics when it comes to failures of marriages compares with some of the highest in the world. I think what that hints at is the fact that our culture system(at least that portion that seems to think it can prepare people for marriage)is faulty or unnecessary.

May be you fail to understand that you are loosing some logical points there. During the primitive era, men tend to prove their manliness by indulging in polygamous system and it is workingg. At present, men have only one and it is failing, WHY? Because the imported culture is wrong somewhere not our culture. I wish you go and those who fanatically destroy our values including culture.