Please if you are not married, I don’t need your comment. If you are a single father, don’t comment either, if you are a divorcee, please save your strength. Only a happily married man should comment.

I have a question to ask, and I need a very good answer,

What qualities made you pick the woman you are married to?


Why I asked this question is, I used to think you must look out for your preferred qualities in a woman to qualify her for marriage.

Is it just the qualities or the impact those qualities are having on you?


I have been seeing a woman for some months now. I must confess that since I met her, the urge to fornicate has completely disappeared. I used to be a serial womanizer and fornicator. Everything is changing at a very fast rate and for the first time since I have been praying and fasting for changes in this regard, I am very much satisfied with my new found will power.

Is this one of the signs of the qualities a woman possesses or am I getting matured or etc etc?

But The idea of me getting matured is flawed because even married men young and old get married and still cheat with numerous women.

Sorry for the many questions! I just need answers to help me understand why I have started ignoring other women advances and sex invite. This is unlike me but don’t get it wrong, it’s my number one prayer being answered.

Can we at least sit on the fence and read comments,since this is strictly for married men?

ahnie:
Can we at least sit on the fence and read comments,since this is strictly for married men?

I would have open the comments to all, both married men and women but it’s only a man that can give a definite answer because ……. (I don’t have to spell it out)

There is a time in a man's life that he feels he has found the right one, there would also come a time when you'll question your decisions.

No man or woman will ever find the whole percentage in a single individual but whenever you feel a particular individual has ticked many of your boxes then that individual becomes the right one...


Shalom!

When I was getting married, I told myself one truth - what’s good for the goose is sauce for the gander I.e. I wasn’t going to expect from my life partner a standard that I couldn’t hold myself up to, no hypocrisy.
I didn’t even really look at her physical statistics because I was more interested in her mind. (The beauty I noticed in a woman was always the eyes - the window to the soul).
We’re still happily married after 30 years. I think it’s because I became a Christian.

I won't lie, I married my wife so she could help in adjusting my then way of life.
She's so spiritual and me? Na Nafdac Approved Fornicator
Bro, I studied her for 7years + and I just knew that I needed someone like her in my life if not na express I dey. Glad I did and I will say that's the best decision I have made in my life. Almost 18years in marriage now

I pray yours too will be the same

You are taking a recess bro, you will resume after a while.

Most of the married men wey you trust for answer na their women dey make the decisions. You for ask the women

No sexual attraction there, you may regret after marriage.

Benekkk:
When I was getting married, I told myself one truth - what’s good for the goose is sauce for the gander I.e. I wasn’t going to expect from my life partner a standard that I couldn’t hold myself up to, no hypocrisy.
I didn’t even really look at her physical statistics because I was more interested in her mind. (The beauty I noticed in a woman was always the eyes - the window to the soul).
We’re still happily married after 30 years. I think it’s because I became a Christian.

30 years?

I have to stop engaging banters on this forum because we have elders here. Thank you very much for this response sir!

Ahmed0336:
I won't lie, I married my wife so she could help in adjusting my then way of life.
She's so spiritual and me? Na Nafdac Approved Fornicator
Bro, I studied her for 7years + and I just knew that I needed someone like her in my life if not na express I dey. Glad I did and I will say that's the best decision I have made in my life. Almost 18years in marriage now

I pray yours too will be the same

Gbam!! This is the definite response I am looking for. If I tell you the numbers of times I have prayed and fasted to change from fornicating lifestyle, I thought all hope was lost.

At a point I was thinking if the lady I am currently seeing don go lock me inside bottle but on a second thought, anything that can stop me from fornicating, I will highly welcome it.

Are you trying to tell me the sudden gradual change is influenced by the woman I am with?

One of the signs of maturity in man is to be able to have sexual urge and still put It under control. Nothing wrong with sexual urge because you are human.

If you see the right woman , you will be attracted to her in All ramifications including sexual urge. Infact it is what will drive your sexual appetite during marriage. So when you say you loose sexual urge , I suggest you check it properly. Sounds abnormal for a woman you want to spend your life with.

I am not saying you should lust after her continuously. There are other important things that should be happening beyond sex desires. You should be emotionally and romantically connected but you should put your emotions in check and focus on the bigger picture😉

Wawelexy:
You are taking a recess bro, you will resume after a while.

No no, this is not a recess but a gradual change of heart. But thank you for the response.

Klass99:
You've asked valid questions and even I am interested in reasonable people's feedback.

As for losing the urge to fornicate, I am impressed and I say seven blessings to you, because it is so hard to find a man who is willing to contemplate celibacy, yet alone practice it, after being sexually active. You need to keep it up.

I think you are maturing, and it has nothing to do with the woman you are seeing in particular. No one can change you, except you. She may be a good or bad influence, but you ultimately have the power of choice and you chose to no longer fornicate, so well done.

Thank you for this. Much appreciated.

Question for you, do you think this changes would have still been observed even if I was with a different woman?

GenderMix:
One of the signs of maturity in man is to be able to have sexual urge and still put It under control. Nothing wrong with sexual urge because you are human.

If you see the right woman , you will be attracted to her in All ramifications including sexual urge. Infact it is what will drive your sexual appetite during marriage. So when you say you loose sexual urge , I suggest you check it properly. Sounds abnormal for a woman you want to spend your life with.

I am not saying you should lust after her continuously. There are other important things that should be happening beyond sex desires. You should be emotionally and romantically connected but you should put your emotions in check and focus on the bigger picture😉

Thank for your response. Lots of wisdom here.

I think I forgot to state that, my urge still remains, even stronger than before but the sudden will power to put it under control and instead channel it into other endeavors is my reason for creating the post.

You know when the urge for physical sex is instead transmuted to your brain and turns you into a romantic genius. That’s where I am at right now.

Carcholce:
Please if you are not married, I don’t need your comment. If you are a single father, don’t comment either, if you are a divorcee, please save your strength. Only a happily married man should comment.

I have a question to ask, and I need a very good answer,

What qualities made you pick the woman you are married to?


Why I asked this question is, I used to think you must look out for your preferred qualities in a woman to qualify her for marriage.

Is it just the qualities or the impact those qualities are having on you?


I have been seeing a woman for some months now. I must confess that since I met her, the urge to fornicate has completely disappeared. I used to be a serial womanizer and fornicator. Everything is changing at a very fast rate and for the first time since I have been praying and fasting for changes in this regard, I am very much satisfied with my new found will power.

Is this one of the signs of the qualities a woman possesses or am I getting matured or etc etc?

But The idea of me getting matured is flawed because even married men young and old get married and still cheat with numerous women.

Sorry for the many questions! I just need answers to help me understand why I have started ignoring other women advances and sex invite. This is unlike me but don’t get it wrong, it’s my number one prayer being answered.

You need more than her quality and impact to stay faithful in marriage!
As someone said above, your break in transmission might be momentarily.

You need contentment, strong will to stand by your believe of love for her, absolute resolve for the love you share come rain or sunshine and above all, the fear of God.

I married my woman because she was not the typical average woman , she was affectionate , passionate and loved me .

Because of my wife I quit drinking and frequent visits to beer parlour, I'm currently on a self therapy from womanising .

She was forgiving and caring even after I did certain things that make a woman divorce or separate.

Imagine eating ogbono soup for many years and not tasting other soups


That's what it's like when you don't scoop other chicks



Op by the time you're married, you'll start from where you stopped

Hideaki:
Imagine eating ogbono soup for many years and not tasting other soups


That's what it's like when you don't scoop other chicks



Op by the time you're married, you'll start from where you stopped

Your last statement doesn’t make sense. What’s you are actually saying is, I am pretending just to get married to this lady?

Its partly maturity - being tired of something "unreal"

Secondly, your prayer life and will power helps you to further suppress the interest.

It could also be that the lady you're speaking about is mature and "wife material" ... So much that you want something more real with her.

An unserious lady would have changed you back.

And about the qualities to look out for, it may be different between men but there are very important ones ... Just ask yourself "Can this lady make a good wife?
", "Can she make a good Mom?"

Oyindidi:
Most of the married men wey you trust for answer na their women dey make the decisions. You for ask the women

Most men allow women to take decision not because they can't it's because they want to reduce friction at home and also carry the woman along.

Relax and allow him sample opinion from the demography he wants.

Klass99:


A woman like me, hell yes. Because I have longed for a man who can carry on a mutually exclusive relationship without sex involved. The thing has been like Ethan Hunt's mission impossible, but there are women like me who will go for no sex relationship and not pressure you to have sex to prove your manhood or call you gay for not wanting to.

Let's be honest pre-marital sex is one of the most draining and destabilising things we do, but try vainly to justify away. Haven't you felt good since quitting it? You have more power in deciding whether to fornicate or not, don't give that power or choice away to any woman you are with, if you don't want to do it.

It is more about you and what you want for yourself, than the woman you are with. Remember that!

If you are with a sexually active woman, the type who will tab you

Did you finish the bolded texts? I didn’t get what you mean. Please explain

ExudeLoveToAll:



Most men allow women to take decision not because they can't it's because they want to reduce friction at home and also Carey the woman along. Relax and allow him sample opinion from the demography he wants.

I stated the fact and you know it. Nothing like carrying the women along

Any woman that Can have impact on you positively is to be kept. Sex is an addiction just like nose candy (Coke) her influence on you fuel by the love you have for her is making you to overcome that addiction.

Klass99:


That part of my post was meant to be deleted before I posted. I forgot to take it out, ignore It, my train of thought changed and I wrote something else instead.

Okay. Thank you.

mikemike50:
Any woman that Can have impact on you positively is to be kept. Sex is an addiction just like nose candy (Coke) her influence on you fuel by the love you have for her is making you to overcome that addiction.

Another definite answer I am looking for! This right here is what I think I am experiencing! “The positive impact to end an addiction”


Mr Mike, please take the mic and answer this important question. Are you saying she’s the right one?

Okay

Sipping zobo..



Meanwhile,,


Make women chuk mouth too.


Marriage is with:

1). God,
2). Destiny,
3). Your big brain.


If your big brain cannot plan with God to achieve a better marriage destiny,, you're doomed.

What I'm saying is:

1). Don't expect anything when you marry a lazy person,, good for nothing!
2). You should know when you see a liability.
3). You should know if that's the right person for you; and that's where wisdom and maturity comes in; majority don't have it.


...then, marriage will be everlastingly sweet!!!





Chai..

A thread like this, is supposed to come up on weekends. Because nairaland on weeks days are populated with the wrong set of people (jobless, yahoo, undergraduates, uncouth young adults). The few sensible/mature ones are active mostly on weekends..