Mr Lee: Nigerians don't learn good things from the western country, and fail marriages has been a culture of the white so it has started to eat up our good african moral of unity in the home. Op lets go back to the oreintations our grand parants used in runing an unbroken home that why i don't like white wedding.

jobaskia: @as-salam U are quite right that fear of God is a key to ensure that marriage is sustained, but in another sense a woman is the big 'factor' to make sure her marriage to anyone should be based on how she is a able to persevere and endures the challenges that comes with marriages.

For instance, when my nikkah was just six days i was relieved from my position where i worked , but i felt undaunted and decided to move , i kept it a secret between myself and my sister not to disclose to anyone. I equally ensure i was not remorsed on the nikkah day ,the officiating alfa spent just an hour to solemnize the two of us , a lot of friends/ were very surprise they like this kind of nikkah ceremony i only told my father in- law after i got another job with a company because i know the psychological impact it will have on my wife . I ensure my parent did'nt spill the beans as well. My marriage is moving to 7th year now ,but no be beans oh . All Glory to God

In all, i strongly believed is our women to salvage, persevere and endure within the period to ensure that they do not listen to side talk, mingle with friends, they should be patient, to be contented with whatever their spouse gives them . Women are quite loving , respectable, wise and they could be gullible but still have other qualities one can really appreciate them for. Like my parent now have been married for the past 56yrs with 8 surviving children and we are all doing very well .

Its a milestone to achieve, but with the right woman, God's guidance,everything is at your beck and call.

JaaizTech:

I think marriage failures really has nothing to do with the counsel received before the marriage but the values and norms. one have come to inculcate or accept over one's lifetime. There are a variety of factors that has caused failures of marriages, and I think one of them is the throwing away of our cultural values and the increased acceptance of western values, that attempts to put the man and the woman on the same pedestal in marriage. Our culture teaches us a woman must be submissive and accept most of the shit the man is going to give (i.e you can't have 2 captains on the same ship). Secondly, the world of movies have painted a non-existent image of a perfect marriage, perfect-love life etc; most people seek this mirage which can only be found in hollywood / Nollywood movies; hence they get very disappointed early in the marriage, when the passion with which the marriage started naturally wither away (a normal course in marriage). Bottomline, we need to be real about what marriage is and most importantly we also need to be real about who the natural man is: Perhaps a place to start is for people to talk about what actually caused the marriages they know to have failed to fail. Most marriages that I know failed because the man was cheating or attempting to marry a second wife.

Adabar: Suffice to say that part of the marriage failures nowadays is that both men and women have lost their traditional place or position in the institution: women,now assume the head of the family partly because of the economic situation that places bread winning privileges on the women folk and partly cux of the craze for gender equality in our generation. With due respect, women and men are not equal; the good books recognised the inequality in their injunctions and attempts to usurp such position especially in close knitted relationships will only cause chaos. It's against natural tendencies for men to be fed before women in times of famine or men are allowed to sit back while women go to the battle ground during wars.
The truth is our marriages will be a lot healthier if husbands love their wives and the wives respect their husbands though there is no much of one without the other. Our women are very intelligent and industrious and husbands shouldn't be threatened by that but support them all the way and wives should Be humble enough to make their MISSION sub of their husbands: that's submission. Having an understanding that men are the HEADS and women, the neck underscores our interdependence.

Adabar: Suffice to say that part of the marriage failures nowadays is that both men and women have lost their traditional place or position in the institution: women,now assume the head of the family partly because of the economic situation that places bread winning privileges on the women folk and partly cux of the craze for gender equality in our generation. With due respect, women and men are not equal; the good books recognised the inequality in their injunctions and attempts to usurp such position especially in close knitted relationships will only cause chaos. It's against natural tendencies for men to be fed before women in times of famine or men are allowed to sit back while women go to the battle ground during wars.
The truth is our marriages will be a lot healthier if husbands love their wives and the wives respect their husbands though there is no much of one without the other. Our women are very intelligent and industrious and husbands shouldn't be threatened by that but support them all the way and wives should Be humble enough to make their MISSION sub of their husbands: that's submission. Having an understanding that men are the HEADS and women, the neck underscores our interdependence.

Kobojunkie: I think it is fantasy to think one can prepare for marriage. Sort of like saying one has to prepare for life. Marriage has lessons to teach you that you cannot learn anywhere else. I mean we have a culture that believes in preparing women for marriage, but even with all the preparation, the statistics when it comes to failures of marriages compares with some of the highest in the world. I think what that hints at is the fact that our culture system(at least that portion that seems to think it can prepare people for marriage)is faulty or unnecessary.

Niseamaka:
I do not share your view that preparing people for marriage is faulty and unnecessary but no amount of preparation guarantees marital bliss.

carlomaa: i think the problem now is the increase in stressful living condition.the economy was much better years back so it made it easier to deal with marital problems(at least u know the problem u are dealing with is just that of your marriage).in these days of poor economy, there's a lot of frustration everywhere,marital problems will only compound it.so people try to reduce the stress in their life(and that might be marriage).myopinionthough

carlomaa: i think the problem now is the increase in stressful living condition.the economy was much better years back so it made it easier to deal with marital problems(at least u know the problem u are dealing with is just that of your marriage).in these days of poor economy, there's a lot of frustration everywhere,marital problems will only compound it.so people try to reduce the stress in their life(and that might be marriage).myopinionthough

Kobojunkie:

Which economy was much better? When? Even your Nigeria is better today than it has ever been. I don't know where you folks get this idea that somehow things used to be so much better for all Nigerians. Not true.

bukatyne: i hope d 'good' book you are referin to is not the Bible. a man and a woman are equal everywhere.

Mowire:
Sis, by what measure/standard is this "better today"?

sucre26: I keep wondering about this topic evryday... I'm still single and i want to get married someday but I'm scared of marriage. 90% of the marriages around me are crashing everyday and these marriages lasts between 6-2years. I really wonder what's going on with our generation and commitment

Kobojunkie:

The above is the classic lie we like to tell ourselves. Your forefathers had problems in marriage as well. Back then, you know what they did? When they got tired of their wives, they sent these women away to live the rest of their lives in shame and many a times as outcasts. And don't pretend this problem was unheard of. No, it was just as common place as it is today. There were abandoned wives and running away husbands even during the days of your forefathers. They didn't have the secret to a lasting marriage either. In fact, to many of them, their wives were properties/slaves and so had no choice but to do as they desired.

k2039: [size=15pt]
Most people go into marriage without preparation(the marraige you dont prepare for is doomed to fail from the onset)
I also think one reason marriages fail is because of the decline in morals and values of the concerned parties.

Marriage is a life commitment[most people desire a successful marriage but only few people are committed to a successful marriage(commitment involves both parties taking responsibility to ensure the marriage works)]
[/size]

1. The primary purpose for you is marriage. You were made because of the man. Don’t kid yourself. Your priority is not your career, ambition or peer-fantasy, be careful what you say. Eve was made for Adam. Marry a man that can easily forgive you. Adam forgave Eve.Don’t be fooled. Let your guy name the relationship. When the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable. Adam named Eve (He called her ‘woman’ bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh).The fact that your relationship is eventful does not make it right. Remember Samson and Delilah.Don’t marry a guy that is not hard/smart working. Adam was working when he met Eve.Can you label the day you sincerely, from the depth of your heart asked God for a husband? Be specific, even Jesus said, “Ask and you shall be given.”Do you know that getting married is obedience to God’s word? Pray to God to give you the power and wisdom to obey His word.Your mother-in-law can be the revelation to your husband’s heart. Did you read about Ruth and Naomi?Guys are very physical. Your looks matters. It took Esther a year of physical purification to be made his queen by her king. As faithful as Abraham, his wife was to kill for.
10. When the guy is not focused on you, watch out! He might have other ladies distracting is attention. A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.
11. If you are not being a good daughter, you will probably not be a good wife/mother. Remember one of the Ten Commandments that say, ‘Honour your father and mother and it shall be well with you’.
12. God will preserve your husband in a package in which only your virtue can unravel. How Rebecca met Isaac.
13. Sex: If you can’t wait till after the wedding, it is not worth the marriage. Marriage is honourable when the bed is undefiled. You can only find this out after your wedding.
14. When it comes to marriage, only two people are important, your spouse and God. Some other people might act important, but they are totally insignificant.
15. Guys marry ladies that domesticate them, not the ones that excite them.
16. A guy will only marry the lady that speaks to the king in him.
17. You have to be sensitive. Eve was brought before Adam. He could have rejected her, but he knew that she was his wife. It took God time to create Eve, if you reject your spouse, it might take Him another five years to make another.
18. Be focused, you can only marry one person. If your eye is single your body will be full of light. With focus, comes clear sight.
19. Never marry someone that does not fear God, because a day will come when you will need only God to intervene in your marriage. What do you think will happen?
20. Before you say, “I do,” that habit, can you tolerate it for life? He might not change. Think about this.
21. If he doesn’t give to you in the relationship, there is a big probability that he won’t when you are married. Remember, God so love that He gave.
22. Better marry the guy that loves you not just the one that you love. It is more difficult for a guy to love; that is why the bible admonishes guys to love.
23. Be specific! Write down what you want in your husband.
24. The guy you will marry is God’s correction for all the flaws in your life. Just like Christ to the church, the husband is to present his wife holy, spotless and blameless.
25. Family is important. No the family you are getting married into because their issues will be your issues for the rest of your life.
26. Do everything to win the guy you like when you have the opportunity. Ruth was ruthlessly wise with regards to Boaz.
27. Before you say, “I do,” there is a spiritual decision of sacrifice you have to make concerning your guy. Every Christian has her garden of Gethsemane, but every praying Christian will find her angels there.
28. Jesus is the one that would turn water to wine at your wedding, not your guy. Look up to Jesus, the author and the finisher of your marriage.
29. Love of money is the root of all evil; don’t let money be the foundation of our relationship. It will lead you nowhere.
30. Life and death are in the power of the tongue. Be wise; speak what you want to see in your relationship.
31. Don’t be too forward lady. That guy can be the best thing that can ever happen to you martially.
32. A guy prefers marrying a lady that says, “Good morning,” to the one that says, “Hi.” Guys don’t compromise respect.
33. God created a feminine woman. Guys do not want to marry a Jezebel. We all know how she ended.
34. Love is not just two people looking at each other, it also involves them looking at the same direction.
35. The first time he slapped you and said he was sorry, this time he punched you and said he was sorry. The next time he will kill you and God will tell you, “I am sorry.”
36. Stop looking for a domestic guy for a husband. Are you a domestic wife? We are born in a digital generation. When you get there, you will cross the bridge.
37. Can you identify the moment like Jabez when you prayed sincerely from your heart, “Lord give me my husband,” and God did not manifest him?
38. Don’t dress shabbily; no guy wants to marry a Unclad wife.
39. Be transparent, a guy can tolerate his girlfriend’s shortcomings, but he wants to marry a near perfect wife.
40. It is a very thin cord that separates a girlfriend from becoming a wife.
41. Your heart should be so hidden in God that the guy has to go through God to find you.
42. It is through faith that you will get that husband. God will never give you anything good outside you exercising faith in Him. Remember the children of Israel could not enter into His rest because of unbelief.
43. Know this; God has a husband for every single lady. His wisdom is supreme.
44. You say you are a Christian, just the way you know your birthday, do you know the day or date you got born again or that of your guy? Never compromise salvation; it is the key to our eternal blessing, your blissful marriage inclusive.
45. Guys don’t like talkative. If you love him show it. Love is an action word.
46. Much more than your guy loving you, love yourself. Guys love ladies that are confident in their individuality.
47. The fact that your last relationship did not work does not mean that you have issues. It only means that you are not fully developed for marriage. Continue to work on yourself. Trust me when I say it is the same for the guy.
48. You are not going to get married inside the magazine. Marriages in the magazine have being edited. Be real, much more than candle light and roses, marriage is also day light and dishes.
49. Only the maker of hearts knows the two that best fit. Seek God’s will before you go into that relationship/marriage.
50.No two marriages are the same ; discover yours and its uniqness