both parties take responsibility no ratio attached...

I as a lady, the stake is to make sure the bed is nicely done

dayokanu: If I as the man pick all the bill in the house then what is the womans stake in the house?

How is she better than a piece of furniture that just occupy space?

If he pick all the bills then he has a right to do as he want in the house without being questioned. Just like the chairs and table cant question the owner.

If he come into the house even with lipstick stains all over his body and you ask him, He would simply reply, Its those lipsticks on his shirt that feed house and clothe your lazy arse since you contribute nada to it.

Even contributing to your own childrens school fees, upkeep etc.

I can never have anything to do with any woman with such mentality

Is ur wife igbo? if she is, that explains it. . . . They are brought up with that mentality. . . A man provides 100%

Op, me believe there is more to this than u told us. Otherwise where is love and understanding in this marriage. Is things really working fine at home? Pls tell urself the truth cos no reasonable woman will ever put up such silly argument. Does it mean she don't love u and her kids, pls what is the main problem in the house?

kpolli: Is ur wife igbo? if she is, that explains it. . . . They are brought up with that mentality. . . A man provides 100%

u r very stupid ur useless tribe the bush u come from are not more productive and supportive than Igbo women. don't be silly idiot.

I guess it all depends on one's orientation which both parties should discuss and come to an agreement before marriage. My own orientaction might not be popular but let me share it nonetheless.
My parents are civil servants. I do not know how they did things when we were small but sometimes in 1999, my dad was unjustly retired. That was when I just got my admission. Even with his meager pension and some jobs here and there, money was very tight. Mum is a teacher. It was especially during those years my respect for her grew. You see, my dad is good to a fault, you can easily take advantage of him. But all through my uni years, he was still the one I went to for my school fees and all. We kids all knew the source was my mum, but she will give him the money and he will give us. He was still and is still the man of the house in spite of the way things were. Now they have a biz he manages, mum still teaches and does other mobile businesses. But I learnt a huge lesson from it all.
My hobby and I met in our first year. Infact, I finished before him cos his course has 2 years more than mine. I was already working with a bank while he was serving when our relationship started. With us, there is no 'my' or 'his' money. It is ours. We decide on how to use and what to save. I resigned early this year, (thank God) but all this while, my pay had always been higher than his. It did not make him less than a man to me, he is absolutely not lazy (that I cannot stand both for men or women). He has been carrying most of the financial obligations all these months while I work on my new biz which we know is our ticket to financial freedom. His support has been awesome. The savings I have is ours. Whatever we decide to do with money is a joint decision. I wanted a man I will grow in every way with, not an already made man. One who will not be threatened by my success, who will encourage me in all ways as well as do same for him. I have him. In todays world, I believe it should be a joint effort by both parties. Afterall, the home belongs to you. It also means that whatever we buy tomorrow is bought in both of our names. It is working for us that way. And funny enough, we never talked about it before we got married. Its just both of our orientation. We think alike, I guess. Today, I am not 'employed' per se, but any money hobby gets, we agree on what it will be used for, and the rest I safekeep. I never knew I will say this, but today, I look back and thank God about what happened to my dad. As far as I am concerned, he provided for us especially when he lost his job. Mum 'supported' very much. I learnt so much from it, namely think beyond salary and that the family purse is owned by both parties. The home should be planned and built by both parties irrespective of who makes more.

@Poster, pls dont allow finances to cause issue in your family.Take the responsibility in full without any complaint. Let me share my own experience. Since day 1 and its 3 years now since I have been married, I have been taking the full financial responsibility of my family 100%. Honestly, to me this is just the norm ,because thats what I see my father do while growing up.This is AFRICA and we have our core values as men, but I constantly and I mean constantly steal my wife's money. Any money she leaves around carelessly automatically becomes mine, cos she bounty hunt my purse and my trousers too. I use those money to order nice grilled chicken and bottle of star . She is also full of surprise gifts for me and my Son. She brings up ideas of what we can spend money on and ready to get committed financially in projects.

@ OP, I wish you told us what exactly your wife said her earning is good for, it may just give us a better ground to advice because except she earns terribly little, she can't spend her whole earning just on herself. Pls try and clarify.

Now, this is why we shpould listen to our Maker, His principles are impeaccable! He advised us couples to see ourselves as one spirit, soul and body (paraphrased). Hence, what woman can imagine rather not ever using her left hand to support the right simply because her body is right handed? Her life will not only suffer badly, that left hand will get paralysed over time. Nuff said!

kpolli: Is ur wife igbo? if she is, that explains it. . . . They are brought up with that mentality. . . A man provides 100%

Tribal bigot. How did you come to this ridiculous conclusion? Most igbo women I know carry their families financially.
You must be high for writing this trash.
Ara di gi.

nunicelady: I don't believe your wife and yourself should allow finances put a wedge in your home. Counseling is a. Step in the right direction and I commend you for that.
I also believe that regardless of what you or your wife believes, you are a man and should decide how your home should be run. Forget percentages for now. Calculate how you need for yourself, how much you need to keep for emergencies, kids school fees and savings for your future or a project for your retirement. Give your wife the balance (within reason), let her know that is all you can afford as you need to think of the future of your family. She would need to prepare a monthly budget with what you gave her. My brother no one would tell her to add her own money when the need arises. Every woman wants the best future for herself n her family. She would not want you to spend all you have without planning for tomorrow. I wish your home the very best. God bless your home.

Oh boy u harsh o

sunky-show:
THANKS TO ALL DAT HAVE RESPONDED.

PLEASE, MY wife agrues dat am not man enough to take care of my responsibility thats y i tried to share d financial responsibilities, she believes women should ONLY CONTRIBUTE IF THEY FEELS LIKE,VOLUNTARILY, BUT NOT MANDATORY!. (because she's an igbo and they believe d man should do all financial burdens).

I STILL DONT KNW HOW TO MAKE HER REALISE THIS POINT, THOUGH SHE's DOING HER MASTERs RITE NOW,
PLEASE IF ANYONE KNOWS ANY MARIAGE COUNSELLOR TO SPEAK TO
i wil apreciate.
I STIL WELCOME MORE ADVISE FROM YOU ALL

It has got nothing to do with the tribe please. In Nigeria,the man in most tribes is seen as the all in all ! But for the educated,we try to share and accept all things. But please if i must advise you,work hard as if you dnt pray and pray as if you dnt work and you will see u need not to be assisted by ur wife financially ! Provide for them cos they are ur responsibility.If you are a christian,remember the bible said if any man can't provide for his house hold,he is worst than an infidel.Dnt allow any one deceive you that you MUST at all cost make ur wife see reasons that she must support you.I thot you guys courted before marriage ? You did not find out this aspect or character in her during courtship ehn !
The bible said ''Beauty is vain,charisma is deceitful but a woman that fears the lord she should be praised !'' When the foundation is faulty,what can the righteous do ?
I will intercede on ur behalf tonight and by HIS grace, the fear of God will come upon ur wife and she will start to see reasons why she should support you as the husband.
Cheers and God bless.

There are many things the poster didn't tell us. Has he told the wife how much he earns? Many men hide this info and expect the woman to understand. Your hoarding this info from her can make her suspect that you are paid so highly and you want to collect the peanuts she is earning to add to yours.
Has the poster been involved in adultery to the wife's knowledge? Such suspicions can make a woman so insecure and vulnerable in her marriage that she begins to use her money to plan for eventualities. Esp as they don't seem to be of the same tribe. Reassure your wife that she is the only woman in your life.
The poster can also change his perception of the wife's attitude. If he can see the wife's spending on herself (and their children if they have any) as relieving him of what he would have still been spending on her, then he won't be so bitter. If she uses her money to buy herself clothes, make her hair, make calls and occasionally surprise you with gifts, she is still saving you those expenses which you would have absorbed 100%. Many husbands regard their wife's earning as pocket money and leave them to spend it at their discretion.
More importantly, ask God to enlarge your coast.The big inflows are not found in a wife's purse!
I am married so I know

Our tradition and orientation sometimes complicates simple issues. The question you should ask you wife is this. God forbid you lose your job and she is still working, does that mean she will let her family starve because of some dumb tradition? If you are not working, she will not spend her own right?

The man is the head of the family not the slave of the family. Sit down with your wife and you guys should be open about earnings. Divide the expenses in a fair manner and I will advice that as much as possible, the man should pick up a larger share of the expenses. It just shows leadership. But the wife must also contribute if she is working. This shows responsibility and accountability on her part.

sunky-show:
Hello wonderful people, There's something i stil have not understand especially when it comes to "financial responsibilities" of a relationship or the family altogether.
my wife argues: A wife SHOULD NOT have any financial commitment in the relationship/family ONLY IF SHE VOLUNTARILY WILL., then she can contribute. BUT NOT MANDATORY!

my own agruement: I believe d husband should take about 70% of d financial responsibilities while his wife should assist 30% of it due to d economic situation of country. since d husband and d wife are working.

I hope everyone understands my point here? howeva i believe nobody knws it all.
Am willing to hear ur take on it.
Thanks n cheers

@sunky-show, it seems money is important to you and especially in your relationship. However, I think it should be looked at differently. In an ideal marriage, all material possessions including money should be committed by both parties 100 percent. Sunky-show, what if you fall ill, become unemployed or incapacitated, would your rule (70:30) still apply? Would your wife now have to cough up more? Remember, as you lay your bed, so shall you lie on it. Commit everything and you'll be happier for it. Some of us have been brought up to be male chauvinist, but we can change if we have the desire to do so. I would assume your rule (70:30) not only applies to money, in your household, it probably also applies to cooking, cleaning, driving, etc.

There are always two sides to a story. You come here complaining that your wife has refused to assist financially for the upkeep of your home. If your wife comes she may complain of other things about you that are not money related. Attitude is a commitment killer and I don’t think you know exactly your role as the head of the home. You must have through other means poisoned your wife’s mind, either by exhibiting hating attitude cum lack of acceptance of who she is. The only thing you need to make any woman give more than 100% of her capacity is shower her with love and respect.

Apparently, your post revealed that you don’t accept/cherish her enough by revealing her tribe; tagging her as among a tribe that sees a man as ultimate provider. What has her tribe got to do with the issue at hand? Argument can never get you anywhere; it will only make your wife more resentful of you. Change your attitude and stop seeing her as someone from another tribe. Treat her with love as your one and only, you will be amazed how far a woman can go to care for her family. Any women no matter her tribe can go all out to satisfy the man they love especially the one that really loves them in return.

So the problem isn’t lack of support but her feeling of rejection which is very obvious to those that have ‘ears to the ground’.

D best thing is to have a joint account. Husband & Wife should then operate as Managing director & Financial Manager respectively and they should also be prudent in all their spending.

sunky-show:
Hello wonderful people, There's something i stil have not understand especially when it comes to "financial responsibilities" of a relationship or the family altogether.
my wife argues: A wife SHOULD NOT have any financial commitment in the relationship/family ONLY IF SHE VOLUNTARILY WILL., then she can contribute. BUT NOT MANDATORY!

my own agruement: I believe d husband should take about 70% of d financial responsibilities while his wife should assist 30% of it due to d economic situation of country. since d husband and d wife are working.

I hope everyone understands my point here? howeva i believe nobody knws it all.
Am willing to hear ur take on it.
Thanks n cheers

Efemena_xy: I'm going to play devil's advocate here.

@poster, can you really blame her? Afterall, what's the point of sinking her hard earned cash into a venture that won't really favour her? I mean:

~ If she helps you lay the foundations for a solid future, say for example, help you contribute towards building your own home... what guarantee(s) does she have that your family won't see it as "My brother's / son's property" and she has no say nor entitlement to it? Are you going to put her name on the title deeds? Or not?

~ What's the point of helping you foot the financial bills if at the end of the day, say a couple of years later down the line, you decide she's "too old" and you need younger, fresher blood to grace your bed? She'll be thrown out of her home, bitter and full of regrets without a penny Kobo to her name. Afterall, in the Nigerian society, it's a man's world and marriage doesn't really favour the women folk.

~ Do you have kids? No. Does she have sons for you? And are her sons your "first" boys? Or do you already have kids outside by "another woman", who'll upsurp her, throw her out and claim your property at your demise?

~ Considering the above points, do you not think your wife deserves to keep her money aside, in case of a rainy day? Can you honestly blame her for thinking ahead??

Are u for real?

4bobo: then what does your woman do with her money, feeding other men outside or what if she can not assist you, then who will see assist in terms if problems and challenges arise, this is a kind of woman that run to their fathers house.
truth must be told, its like you didn't define all these before marriage. besides even if you did, things can change over time.
this is the kind of woman that will not let their husband tell truth about their income.
if na me, I will just be using sixty percent of my income to present as my salary and play along intelligently.
personally, my wife was working and earning almost 2 x of my salary before we got married 4 years plus ago, no one knew. she didn't showed or bragged with it.she supported me with the salary all the time.now she is out of job and as am blessed now, it will be wickedness not to give her everything she wanted to maintain our family and her family. in fact,I give her almost all my salary so far am comfortable with the rest.and she is not that extravagant in spending. you need to be wise and talk it over especially if your income cannot solve all your financial challenges. if she refused, my brother, be wise.

wud u pls hear ursef?ur woman was open wit u,bt if reversed,ud hide ur real income....pathetic
@op...women are natural builders,she wil b adamant to hep if she fils dars mor nd u hidin it...giv ha d real budget nd income nd bliv me,she wil handl d rest.

sunky-show:
THANKS TO ALL DAT HAVE RESPONDED.

PLEASE, MY wife agrues dat am not man enough to take care of my responsibility thats y i tried to share d financial responsibilities, she believes women should ONLY CONTRIBUTE IF THEY FEELS LIKE,VOLUNTARILY, BUT NOT MANDATORY!. (because she's an igbo and they believe d man should do all financial burdens).

I STILL DONT KNW HOW TO MAKE HER REALISE THIS POINT, THOUGH SHE's DOING HER MASTERs RITE NOW,
PLEASE IF ANYONE KNOWS ANY MARIAGE COUNSELLOR TO SPEAK TO
i wil apreciate.
I STIL WELCOME MORE ADVISE FROM YOU ALL

first, i will like to submit here that one word that is inevitably associated with marriage is sharing, it's one word that everyone involves should be ready to accept, sharing marital responsibilities that including finance. That having been established, there is need to point certain facts in order to put things in the right perspectives: a man must appreciate the role of a woman in his life; a woman is in the life of a man to help him fulfill his world, the bible call her a help meet not a help mate Gen.2:18, she is there to fill in the vacuum your life creates, she is only to cover up for you where you cannot meet up, you are not to weigh her life down with the loads, so the idea of 80 to 20 or 70 to 30 not even 50 to 50 is uncalled for in a marriage relationship, a man is to provide for the need of his family. When a man values his wife and take good care of her when he has, the woman should as well be there to cover up for him when he cannot meet up, this is where mutuality comes in marriage. I have been married for 15years, this what i do as a man and whenever i cannot meet up my wife comes in without me having to force her to it, she puts what she has on the table to solve the problem. A woman should not take it as what she wants to do if she likes, in the spirit of mutuality it is a responsibility you should step into when the needs arises, if that man fails you have failed in the purpose of your existence.

It depends on their income.
A man may accept 100% of the responsibility and equally 100% of the authority.
If the responsibility is shared in any ratio, then the authority should be shared (Irrespective of Ego).
If the man requires support from his wife, it may not require a formula, you should know your wife and how best to ask her.

I believe that the more authority a man wants, the more responsibility he should meet.

Rhapsody!:
I guess it all depends on one's orientation which both parties should discuss and come to an agreement before marriage. My own orientaction might not be popular but let me share it nonetheless.
My parents are civil servants. I do not know how they did things when we were small but sometimes in 1999, my dad was unjustly retired. That was when I just got my admission. Even with his meager pension and some jobs here and there, money was very tight. Mum is a teacher. It was especially during those years my respect for her grew. You see, my dad is good to a fault, you can easily take advantage of him. But all through my uni years, he was still the one I went to for my school fees and all. We kids all knew the source was my mum, but she will give him the money and he will give us. He was still and is still the man of the house in spite of the way things were. Now they have a biz he manages, mum still teaches and does other mobile businesses. But I learnt a huge lesson from it all.
My hobby and I met in our first year. Infact, I finished before him cos his course has 2 years more than mine. I was already working with a bank while he was serving when our relationship started. With us, there is no 'my' or 'his' money. It is ours. We decide on how to use and what to save. I resigned early this year, (thank God) but all this while, my pay had always been higher than his. It did not make him less than a man to me, he is absolutely not lazy (that I cannot stand both for men or women). He has been carrying most of the financial obligations all these months while I work on my new biz which we know is our ticket to financial freedom. His support has been awesome. The savings I have is ours. Whatever we decide to do with money is a joint decision. I wanted a man I will grow in every way with, not an already made man. One who will not be threatened by my success, who will encourage me in all ways as well as do same for him. I have him. In todays world, I believe it should be a joint effort by both parties. Afterall, the home belongs to you. It also means that whatever we buy tomorrow is bought in both of our names. It is working for us that way. And funny enough, we never talked about it before we got married. Its just both of our orientation. We think alike, I guess. Today, I am not 'employed' per se, but any money hobby gets, we agree on what it will be used for, and the rest I safekeep. I never knew I will say this, but today, I look back and thank God about what happened to my dad. As far as I am concerned, he provided for us especially when he lost his job. Mum 'supported' very much. I learnt so much from it, namely think beyond salary and that the family purse is owned by both parties. The home should be planned and built by both parties irrespective of who makes more.

Wow! A woman after my heart.

I simply believe My money is our Money and your money is our Money!

What's the point in being married when you're already planning your escape route @Efemena_xy

A colleague once told me he and his wife do the same type of job and that translates to same salary. He handles ALL the financial responsibilities while the wife just keeps her money and spends it as she likes. (God please let ladies like this not respond to me when i say Hi)

adetoks2010:
I still find it hard to believe that some women still think this way. Hmmm... in this present economic situation, you can't have it all. What happens if for some reasons she's the only one working and supporting the family? Though nobody prays for that but then it happens. If only I have the option of 50-50, I will share testimony o.

You are a real woman and your husband would be proud of you. May God answer your prayers

Kk..I'm not married so maybe my comment may not hold water. I used to date one particular lady and she was always carrying this "You're the man issue so u must pay for all my bills" on her head. I guess it's her upbringing. From then and there I knew we would not work. What is the essence of marrying someone if u can share responsibilties. Women like Rhapsody's mum can only be respected. Later some women will come here and say their hubby treats them like a log of wood when they do not contribute nada to the marriage. If I pay all the bills and handle every financial challenge in the house then u dare not challenge me when I tell u this is how I want things to be done. He who pays the piper dictates the the tune. Some women are just lazy and inconsiderate. They want their hubby to do all the work while they sit at home and watch African magic.

Efemena_xy: I'm going to play devil's advocate here.

@poster, can you really blame her? Afterall, what's the point of sinking her hard earned cash into a venture that won't really favour her? I mean:

~ If she helps you lay the foundations for a solid future, say for example, help you contribute towards building your own home... what guarantee(s) does she have that your family won't see it as "My brother's / son's property" and she has no say nor entitlement to it? Are you going to put her name on the title deeds? Or not?

~ What's the point of helping you foot the financial bills if at the end of the day, say a couple of years later down the line, you decide she's "too old" and you need younger, fresher blood to grace your bed? She'll be thrown out of her home, bitter and full of regrets without a penny Kobo to her name. Afterall, in the Nigerian society, it's a man's world and marriage doesn't really favour the women folk.

~ Do you have kids? No. Does she have sons for you? And are her sons your "first" boys? Or do you already have kids outside by "another woman", who'll upsurp her, throw her out and claim your property at your demise?

~ Considering the above points, do you not think your wife deserves to keep her money aside, in case of a rainy day? Can you honestly blame her for thinking ahead??

With this mentality, it is better for you not to get married. Smh
*This is one of the reasons I will appreciate the inclusion of dislike button on every post*

This is my own posit on this matter. Forget about ur wife's argument. What ever she contributes appreciate her for it and collect but pray fervently to God that He should make you so rich that you can afford everything financially. She will be threathened if you don't ask her a dime. Then she will pour out her vault to secure her slot. Don't ever waste time arguing money issues with women. You can't win. Only ur actions can win with any woman on earth. Don't waste ur time on trivial matters as wife. Pray for strenght and strive to increase your worth and capacity. "Enu o se husband o and oko nla kor ni won fin se oko obinrin o ...Owo nla ni o. Peace

like one poster said, the harsh reality of dis disussion is dat ur wife is rite. it is ur full responsibility to take care of the family,clothing feeding and all dat.
mayb it is me, ur write up does not tell me dat ur wife is unwillingly to assist, she is resisting because u r making it MANDATORY, ur wife can only VOLUNTEER her help. dats wat she wants to know if it is mandatory or voluntary. i guess u r making it mandatory, trying to monitor her income, boss her on how to spend it, is wat i percieve d problem is.

Let me ask u a question, women have always argued dat men should help out with the house chores. now is it MANDATORY or VOLUNTARY?
I am quite sure dat if ur wife is making it MANDATORY, u will resist with all d fibre in ur bones telling her it is a woman's FULL responsibility to take care of the home, dat u r the HEAD of the house and it is not ur job.
So my good friend, go ahead be the HEAD and ask ur wife nucely, am quite sure u will open anoda tread on how women are HELPMEET sent by GOD HIMSELF

In those days, when the woman stayed at home - and even now - it is traditionally the duty of the man to provide for the family.

Should the wife earn income, however, the money belongs to the family, not the wife alone.

What most people do, which is reasonable, is to either save the wife's income or assign some small expenses like food, detergents, etc, to the wife.

This does not mean the man cannot buy food; in fact most men come back from travel with foodstuff, snail, bush meat, plantain, rice,etc they bought on the way.

In the western world, the wife must take some financial responsibilities.

50/50 all the way

davies123:

Are u for real?

Yes sir, I'm for real. What's wrong with my post??

WhyAWhy:

Wow! A woman after my heart.

I simply believe My money is our Money and your money is our Money!

What's the point in being married when you're already planning your escape route @Efemena_xy

A colleague once told me he and his wife do the same type of job and that translates to same salary. He handles ALL the financial responsibilities while the wife just keeps her money and spends it as she likes. (God please let ladies like this not respond to me when i say Hi)

Pls don't get it twisted. I've simply given @poster the possible mentality behind his wife's attitude / belief. I think it's important we look beyond the misty screen he's given us and try and see what's really happening here.

Going by what he's posted about his wife, it's easy for any woman to see that this guy's wife doesn't trust him. Not one little bit. Asking a woman to "help out" financially if she doubts you is akin to asking the impossible. It'll be a waste of time and they'll only argue backwards and forwards over the issue, with no resolution at the end of the day. She'll hate him for it and would be more determined not to commit financially to their union. So what he needs to do is go check himself and find out what's brought about his wife's current stance on their finance. He needs to treat the root cause of the problem, and not the symptoms. There is more to this than meets the eye.

Having said this, I am in NO WAY like the woman in question here. Quite the opposite infact. I've got really broad shoulders for carrying my family. Now enough said. Don't want to blow my trumpet here

koastar:
With this mentality, it is better for you not to get married. Smh
*This is one of the reasons I will appreciate the inclusion of dislike button on every post*

Awww....Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm already taken. For nearly two decades now!

As per disliking my post, well...you are entitled to your opinion. T'is one of the beauties of posting on an internet forum - No?

This is what happens when couples do not "become one". All money should be put into 2 accounts. One account should be for expenses (including daily needs and pocket change), the rest should be put into savings. If both of you put all your money into the accounts, then there would be no need for calculating percentages. However if you are mistreating your wife or being unfaithful, then her argument with you has to do with protecting her best interest.

A lot of marriages have collapsed because of finances,pls OP,do not be part of the statistics.
Yes the mentality we had while growing up is that the man is the "bread-winner" of the home but with today's economy and what not,the average family will have to have all hands on deck.
What works for family "A" might not necessarily work for family"B".You should both look at your incomes and determine what is the best for the family.
Also the location/environment plays a factor too.Personally,my wife and I have a joint acct. where the salaries go.All the bills are paid from here and the household groceries and everything else.It is also from this joint acct. that we allocate our individual pocket money/allowance for that pay period.Whatever you wish to do with your money is your business but she still get pampered too as the woman of the house occassinally.
We live in the states and times are hard over here too.When she goes to work,i'm at home with the kids and vice-versa,I bathe,dress and feed the kids and make sure that they are at the bus stop in the morning to meet the bus and go to school.There is no shame in the man of the house doing house chores.I do dishes,cut the grass,clean up the house etc.
I'm not trying to toot my own horn but after reading some of the responses over here,I decided to put in my own 2cents.
Where we live right now,if a woman wants to keep all her earnings and let the man take over the responsibility 100%,they will soon be living on the street or in a homeless shelter.
Let both parties appreciate each other and look at what they want in the future for themselves and for the kids.No marriage is perfect but when it comes to finances,one has to be careful.If the extended families come in,then it's another wahala because then they will be pointing acusing fingers and be saying because of so and so that is why we are not being taken care of,that is if one party is the only one spending.
Just my 2cents.