I just wonder at the Lazy 'African Majic' wives that have been potrayed on this thread, where are these women?
Maybe I belong to another generation because I cant see these women, even the so called housewives I know are the 'School moms' who are heavily involved with various School activities that we that are working and cannot spare the time are ever grateful to them, they are the ones who volunteer for PTA activities and are ever ready to critic and monitor the performance of the School.

House work is not just cleaning and washing, in Nigeria househelps are available to do that but who manages them? who instructs?, who OBSERVES and is AWARE and MONITORS that somethings are necessary- That is the main work!

What Nigerian man who lives in Nigeria can say he follows his Child's School Calender? that you check the School bag everyday for information to be acted upon? that you know how to put together a Food time table with full regard of the Family's nutritional needs? that you how to manage a child with a fever before taking to the hospital if necessary? etc etc!

I remember when I had to resume work after Maternity leave with my first child, my son was just about two months old, I had to call my sister in the morning to ask her how one would ever cope, having had a practically sleepless night then to face a techinically challenging day with deadlines to meet and pile up of tasks and targets, i just could not imagine how that could be expected from any human being, but she told me others have coped before me and that I would also cope.

Assuming that I pay half of the bills, would this still be 50/50?

@50/50 bills. Yes ma.. bills and taking care of children have zero correlation. It's the duty of both parents to do so. The picture you painted is not absolute in most families. I don't remember anyone helping with assignments except few knocks from daddy. PTA.. that's daddy too.. When I took ill, my parents took turns to do night vigil..you want me to continue?

^^^^^^ to continue about Mummy & Daddy? No, mba thank you.

^^^I didn't think so too

@shinat, you crack me up, when you are married to your ''own'' God given husband and you don't nag at little things he does( not that I'm perfect either , sh##t happens), all those petty things you just listed will not be an issue at all.

Lol at # who's going to observe , manages and instructs what the househelp does? , what are gonna observe? How he shovels the driveway snow?

I'm a school mom, dance mom( all genre and gymnastics and ice skating) , housewife and a good cook, and a career mom and so are all my circle of friends

sorry I can't help but feel proud of my self after reading what people posted here

My brother's friend came for a conference and stayed with me for a while,

I served him ( solid; amala) and he expects me to bring water for him to wash his hands, I was like bros go to the kitchen sink and you'll see a soap pump and the tap is running!

And who's going to pick up his dirty water when he's done eating ? I guessed that's what his wife does since she's just a housewife.

If a man is fortunate to find a humble & sober woman of integrity, all this sharing formular would not even be discuss outside. The key to a happy home is a sympathetic wife!!! all other factors key in from there.

Shinatu. You are absolutely right. The fact is that in most Nigerian homes the bulk of the domestic and child rearing duties fall on the women. Therefore it is only right to demand 50/50 sharing of the labor if the husband is demanding 50/50 sharing of his finances. If it was so petty why do men avoid these duties like the plague?

Anyone who can't see that working same hours,contributing the same money with hubby and doing all the domestic work is not a good deal for them can't be helped. Allow them to enjoy slaving away day in and out. After all they will get a medal for working like a mule while their partner is lounging.

IF THE WIFE IS WORKING THEN SHE SHOULD CONTRIBUTE SOMETHING TOWARDS THE UP KEEPING OF THE HOUSE, THINGS LIKE FOOD AND BUYING OF CHILDREN'S CLOTHES SHOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM FOR HER AND THE HUSBAND SHOULD DO THE REST

sunky-show:
@Efemena, NO.
so pls answer my question

Very good. (Sarcasm intended)

Now how much help do you give around your home - especially with the kids?

Do you know how to change a soiled nappy? Do you help your kids with their home work? Have you ever had any discussions with their teachers at school to find out how your kids are progressing? Do you help your wife with the cooking and cleaning? Do you know how to cook? Or you believe a "real man" has no business in the kitchen, much less domestic chores?

sexywifey:

God bless you sir!!!!!!!!!! Its reassuring to know that there are men that still think like you in this generation.

You can imagine how traumatised I was to read from our "men" who wish to assert their rights as men without putting their money where their mouths are...

I contribute significantly to our finances in my home (and in fact, take up some major projects myself) and it is all voluntary. My husband respects that and will never force me to contribute if I dont want to... thats a real man, who understands his responsibility as the provider for the home.

@poster, dude, please read your Bible. You will understand that it is your duty to fund your home 100% (failure to do so makes you worse than an slowpoke). Your wife may contribute if she wants to, but it is not mandatory for her to! What is 70:30 sef? Is that how you share her own house chores in that manner? Abeg, grow some muscles and provide for your family irrespective of whether your wife ontributes to it or not.

I hope you all won't complain if teh husband decides not to help his wife with domestic chores... afterall, she is a 'woman' and it's her duty!

Oya NL 'singles' forming married. . .with children, take the floor!
Na una fingers dey 'sharp' pass!

Why is she working then if she cannot help you in terms of finance.

Maybe you can test her by asking her to quit her job that it is your responsibility to take care of the family as a man. Since you cannot see where the money she was earning was going. It is best she stay and look after the kids and home.

It all depends on how much our total income is and for me, I believe in joint account for the immediate family say about 60% of our individual income. I'm not alpha and omega and I'm not planning to.

sunkyshow: THANKS TO ALL DAT HAVE RESPONDED.

PLEASE, MY wife agrues dat am not man enough to take care of my responsibility thats y i tried to share d financial responsibilities, she believes women should ONLY CONTRIBUTE IF THEY FEELS LIKE,VOLUNTARILY, BUT NOT MANDATORY!. (because she's an igbo and they believe d man should do all financial burdens).

I STILL DONT KNW HOW TO MAKE HER REALISE THIS POINT, THOUGH SHE's DOING HER MASTERs RITE NOW,
PLEASE IF ANYONE KNOWS ANY MARIAGE COUNSELLOR TO SPEAK TO
i wil apreciate.
I STIL WELCOME MORE ADVISE FROM YOU ALL

IS SHE KINDA pompous?how fat is your pay compare to hers?what r her responsibilities at home and to her parent?is she d 'my parents'kind?if this tend more to d negative ,then i guess there wil be trouble for u bro!u better work hard so as to be able to pay all d bills else she might disgrace u some day o!