webdezzi: i buy textbooks every 2 weeks, exercise books every week,
all thanks to numerous subjects available

"my physics note has finished"

i thought you bought that last week

"no ma, that was chemistry"

i did all that to my grandma who passed away last month at age 109
love u & RIP ma.

eeiyaa... may her soul rest in peace. granniez were very gullible to grand kidz.. and u ex[ploited her to the fullest.. may God forgive u.

My father is the type that really loves education and so he always buys every textbooks on the list of books. To make sure u don't loose any of the books, nos are assigned to each book and sometimes I end up having more than what was required by the teachers. Since I loved reading novels so much. I take those ones like the intro tech, agric and some that u never open thier pages at all to a nearby bookstore where the guy was always happy to exchange them for me, giving me paces setters and m&b which I also assign the nos to and when we account for the books by end of the yr, all u need to do is submit no 12345 etc accordingly. The yr I got to JS3 I was the only one remaining in secondary school and he asked me while submitting my books why I had so much novels, I told him they were literature books and that he bought them since I was going to be in Art class in SS1 and that the ones they gave to student going to science and commercial class was a different one. He then went inside to bring my lists of books which I thot he might not even have again since it was almost a yr. U can imagine the rest. I still ve a faint mark on my arm to remind me of that day.

After secondary school,my nyash nor dey gree stay for one place...
I was always going out from one friend's place to another..and occasionally to see my bf and then come home late.
It was a problem at home.I was allowed to go out but i was supposed to be home lastest by five..so this day,i came in 8 pm...
I knew i was in soup already so i told my dad that a girl who was my classmate in secondary school was hit by a car earlier in the day in my presence and i was the one who went to tell her parents and took them to the hospital where she was being treated.
That saved me for the day!!

acidosis™:

you just lied

We offered 9 courses in my 2nd yr... 1st sem... Bt wen tws time 2 buy txt books.... I told popcy.... Hello dad, our text books.... 1000*11courses

candieangel12: When I was in the 7th grade, I got in trouble at school for smoking weed. The principal called my parents and informed them. They scolded me. Then I got in more trouble for skipping classes with friends, getting in 1 fight, and getting caught with alcohol. By this time my parents were tired of scolding me and told me if I get suspended one more time then they would send me to an all girls boarding school. I didn't listen because I hung out with the wrong crowd, one day me and some other students got caught high. We took some ecstacy pills and we were high as fukc. The school found out and sent us home, my parents didnt even care anymore, they had already made arrangements for me 2 go 2 the boarding school. Now, I didn't want to go 2 the boarding school and leave my friends behind and my parents refused to listen to my begging so then I got my friend to act as my lover. We pretended to be dating and then I told my parents I was a lesbian, I thought it wud scare them from sending me to the boarding school cus my parents are serious homophobes lol. Well the plan backfired, instead of sending me to the boarding school, they sent me to Nigeria. LOL. I had to stay in the village with people I didn't even know. I stayed there for a year, but I am glad my parents did that because it changed me into a better person. I learned a lot from my stay in Nigeria and when I came back to the states, I was a completely different person. My parents were even shocked self. If they hadn't taken the action they did some years ago, I would probably be in jail right now. lol.

SO NAIJA FIT USEFUL LIKE DIS?..SUFFERING CAN REALLY CHANGE PEOPLE OO......

The Almighty God that i serve is surely looking at all of you.....He knows the address to your lies.....CUT CEE of Mr.SAINT

In my school, their are 5 schools/faculties:soht, sosc, sat, seet and smat.
I have this neighbour in my year two who is the undisputed king of lying.
His lies know no bound. He devised a way of collecting money from his parents with the names of all the faculties.
In addition to other solid lies, He will tell his parents he is to pay soht fee, smat fee, sat fee, seet feet, and sosc feel, each 5000.

valicious1: I rememba dose days in govt. College owerri 1997 one teacher we nicknamed isimbe(tortoise head) was givin us wahala in school so I & my friends (5 of us) planned to beat him up on his way home. On the fateful day, as the man was going home through a pathway we all jumped out from the bush with our faces all covered about to pounce on isimbe, as d man take see me call my name na wetin I neva understand uptill dis moment. I left my other gang & ran like hell with others following 4rm behind. For 4days I avoided school. On the 5th day na wen my oldman rememba say I neva go school since.
Popsi: y u node go skul again?
Me: we re on strike
Popsi: since when? Other state schools de go skul why only una come dey strike?
Me: na internal strike sir
Popsi: who declare d strike?
Me: teachers
Popsi: against wetin?
Me: against principal
Popsi: wetin principal do
Me: im no wan pay dem salary
Popsi: anuofia! Na principal de pay salary abi government?
Me: govt. Pay but our principal chop am
Popsi: de dia de mumu ursef, u & ur useless friends wan go beat teacher abi. De don gv u suspension & I go make sure say u dey 3years 4 house b4 I give u moni 4 WAEC. Ewu
Me: jesus! Who come tell u!

smh, i laughed so hard, the white boys in the library don dey run comot... wetin be dis one na?

mine was criminal lol..

my university sends our semseter results home as bulk sms, but I got a criminal idea from that lol, I bought some sms unit online n every of my school fees I text them using the school heading tripple or sometimes X 4 of the initial school fees amount...omg and I don't forget countless of field trips lol

Reyginus: In my school, their are 5 schools/faculties:soht, sosc, sat, seet and smat.
I have this neighbour in my year two who is the undisputed king of lying.
His lies know no bound. He devised a way of collecting money from his parents with the names of all the faculties.
In addition to other solid lies, He will tell his parents he is to pay soht fee, smat fee, sat fee, seet feet, and sosc feel, each 5000.

FUTO guys are too bad when it comes to lies. Too many guys inflate their fees just to measure up, and in most cases, the parents are too poor. #Smh

My Dad received a txt msg from the school that parents are advised to donate towards the building of new hostels to ease accommodation problem faced by the students, my father called me and asked abt it. I told him it's important and failure to comply can lead to expulsion, my old man sharpally counted 15k give me sey mak I go clear am, na so me chop money no time. I quickly bought bulk sms unit to confirm the payment for my papa... May God forgive me

abifoluwa: smh, i laughed so hard, the white boys in the library don dey run comot... wetin be dis one na?

This is the funniest so far

valicious1: I rememba dose days in govt. College owerri 1997 one teacher we nicknamed isimbe(tortoise head) was givin us wahala in school so I & my friends (5 of us) planned to beat him up on his way home. On the fateful day, as the man was going home through a pathway we all jumped out from the bush with our faces all covered about to pounce on isimbe, as d man take see me call my name na wetin I neva understand uptill dis moment. I left my other gang & ran like hell with others following 4rm behind. For 4days I avoided school. On the 5th day na wen my oldman rememba say I neva go school since.
Popsi: y u node go skul again?
Me: we re on strike
Popsi: since when? Other state schools de go skul why only una come dey strike?
Me: na internal strike sir
Popsi: who declare d strike?
Me: teachers
Popsi: against wetin?
Me: against principal
Popsi: wetin principal do
Me: im no wan pay dem salary
Popsi: anuofia! Na principal de pay salary abi government?
Me: govt. Pay but our principal chop am
Popsi: de dia de mumu ursef, u & ur useless friends wan go beat teacher abi. De don gv u suspension & I go make sure say u dey 3years 4 house b4 I give u moni 4 WAEC. Ewu
Me: jesus! Who come tell u!

This is the funniest so far

I once skipped a crusade for a house party, my dad looked all around for me, but couldn't found me. When we got home, he asked me if i was really at the crusade,i answered in the affirmative "yes i was...". The he popped the big question, "Who preached at the crusade" I couldn't say who, and then i got the beating of my life for not attending the crusade, and for lying that i was there.

Secondary school tinz- A friend of mine was smoking in a barber shop that doubles az a snooker joint somewhere in old bodija ibadan when his dad unexpectedly stepped in for an haircut. Shocked, before the dad could alter any word, my friend said-"dadi mo ti e ti fe so funyin lati ojoyii, mo notice wi pe ti mo nba soro, efi man jade lenu mi"-(dad, I have always wanted to tell you this, I notice anytime I open my mouth τ̲̅ȍ speak, smoke comes out of my mouth)
Dad- "ha ha, Jide!! Layi shey Sango"-(when you are not the god of thunder)

I wasn't there o! The story was all over the n'hood!

Reyginus: In my school, their are 5 schools/faculties:soht, sosc, sat, seet and smat.
I have this neighbour in my year two who is the undisputed king of lying.
His lies know no bound. He devised a way of collecting money from his parents with the names of all the faculties.
In addition to other solid lies, He will tell his parents he is to pay soht fee, smat fee, sat fee, seet feet, and sosc feel, each 5000.

LMAO

baslone: Secondary school tinz- A friend of mine was smoking in a barber shop that doubles az a snooker joint somewhere in old bodija ibadan when his dad unexpectedly stepped in for an haircut. Shocked, before the dad could alter any word, my friend said-"dadi mo ti e ti fe so funyin lati ojoyii, mo notice wi pe ti mo nba soro, efi man jade lenu mi"-(dad, I have always wanted to tell you this, I notice anytime I open my mouth τ̲̅ȍ speak, smoke comes out of my mouth)
Dad- "ha ha, Jide!! Layi shey Sango"-(when you are not the god of thunder)

I wasn't there o! The story was all over the n'hood!

I heard this one too

i ll come bak to tell ya

baslone: Secondary school tinz- A friend of mine was smoking in a barber shop that doubles az a snooker joint somewhere in old bodija ibadan when his dad unexpectedly stepped in for an haircut. Shocked, before the dad could alter any word, my friend said-"dadi mo ti e ti fe so funyin lati ojoyii, mo notice wi pe ti mo nba soro, efi man jade lenu mi"-(dad, I have always wanted to tell you this, I notice anytime I open my mouth τ̲̅ȍ speak, smoke comes out of my mouth)
Dad- "ha ha, Jide!! Layi shey Sango"-(when you are not the god of thunder)

I wasn't there o! The story was all over the n'hood!

Urban legend or not

baslone: Secondary school tinz- A friend of mine was smoking in a barber shop that doubles az a snooker joint somewhere in old bodija ibadan when his dad unexpectedly stepped in for an haircut. Shocked, before the dad could alter any word, my friend said-"dadi mo ti e ti fe so funyin lati ojoyii, mo notice wi pe ti mo nba soro, efi man jade lenu mi"-(dad, I have always wanted to tell you this, I notice anytime I open my mouth τ̲̅ȍ speak, smoke comes out of my mouth)
Dad- "ha ha, Jide!! Layi shey Sango"-(when you are not the god of thunder)

I wasn't there o! The story was all over the n'hood!

This one got me lol.

candieangel12: When I was in the 7th grade, I got in trouble at school for smoking weed. The principal called my parents and informed them. They scolded me. Then I got in more trouble for skipping classes with friends, getting in 1 fight, and getting caught with alcohol. By this time my parents were tired of scolding me and told me if I get suspended one more time then they would send me to an all girls boarding school. I didn't listen because I hung out with the wrong crowd, one day me and some other students got caught high. We took some ecstacy pills and we were high as fukc. The school found out and sent us home, my parents didnt even care anymore, they had already made arrangements for me 2 go 2 the boarding school. Now, I didn't want to go 2 the boarding school and leave my friends behind and my parents refused to listen to my begging so then I got my friend to act as my lover. We pretended to be dating and then I told my parents I was a lesbian, I thought it wud scare them from sending me to the boarding school cus my parents are serious homophobes lol. Well the plan backfired, instead of sending me to the boarding school, they sent me to Nigeria. LOL. I had to stay in the village with people I didn't even know. I stayed there for a year, but I am glad my parents did that because it changed me into a better person. I learned a lot from my stay in Nigeria and when I came back to the states, I was a completely different person. My parents were even shocked self. If they hadn't taken the action they did some years ago, I would probably be in jail right now. lol.

my wierd friend,wats up na....am beginning to love your wierdness

venorite:
my wierd friend,wats up na....am beginning to love your wierdness

LOL im good. Soo u still think Im wierd....

candieangel12:

LOL im good. Soo u still think Im wierd....

cuh wants the green card

abifoluwa: cuh wants the green card

I beg your pardon?

candieangel12: When I was in the 7th grade, I got in trouble at school for smoking weed. The principal called my parents and informed them. They scolded me. Then I got in more trouble for skipping classes with friends, getting in 1 fight, and getting caught with alcohol. By this time my parents were tired of scolding me and told me if I get suspended one more time then they would send me to an all girls boarding school. I didn't listen because I hung out with the wrong crowd, one day me and some other students got caught high. We took some ecstacy pills and we were high as fukc. The school found out and sent us home, my parents didnt even care anymore, they had already made arrangements for me 2 go 2 the boarding school. Now, I didn't want to go 2 the boarding school and leave my friends behind and my parents refused to listen to my begging so then I got my friend to act as my lover. We pretended to be dating and then I told my parents I was a lesbian, I thought it wud scare them from sending me to the boarding school cus my parents are serious homophobes lol. Well the plan backfired, instead of sending me to the boarding school, they sent me to Nigeria. LOL. I had to stay in the village with people I didn't even know. I stayed there for a year, but I am glad my parents did that because it changed me into a better person. I learned a lot from my stay in Nigeria and when I came back to the states, I was a completely different person. My parents were even shocked self. If they hadn't taken the action they did some years ago, I would probably be in jail right now. lol.

Why is it dat dis Story to sounds like a LIE......Grade 7 with drugs,weed in d US of A..who was selling d alcohol to u Minors? Lie lie no dey end....choi....

steffans:

Why is it dat dis Story to sounds like a LIE......Grade 7 with drugs,weed in d US of A..who was selling d alcohol to u Minors? Lie lie no dey end....choi....

LOL. U must not have went to grade school here in the USA. Students usually get/steal it from their older siblings or parents n then bring it to school n share it amongst friends. It is normal thing here to do it. U have 2 remember ppl start doin drugs at an early age here.
Children usually start drinkin, drugs, partyin, n havin sex around 13. Havent u heard about students bringin guns to grade scool n shootin ppl. I tell ya, students here r crazy.

N please dont call someone a liar when u r not even sure. I didnt have to share my story so why wud I lie?

candieangel12:

LOL im good. Soo u still think Im wierd....

u were doing weed at 7th grade,hmmm thats wierd...i didnt start weed and pills until my 2nd year in the university...

Rooneyboy:

d person wey u claim say na him use him head hit the can na footballer him be

He had to be because I was just standing there jejely minding my own business with the can of paint, the next thing I knew his face just flew past the can and splat - BLOOD EVERYWHERE.

The cry baby just started wailing all over the place and I was like I told you the can is dangerous but you didn't listen. Now you are crying, are they going to punish the can now?

He ran to his mom, who waited until my dad got back from work. . .waylaid him as he was parking his car and told him how I hit her son with a can of paint. My dad calls me and tells me to explain but the yeye woman won't let me talk, started listing all the things I do to her son and other children, how I am a wicked child (Instead of her to teach her son to stop looking for trouble).

The fact that she was talking over me made me sooooooooooo angry, I started crying that it is not fair. . .how can it be my fault when it was him who used his face to hit the can.

The look on my father's face. . .Priceless! It was a combination of "did I just hear what I think I heard", with a side of "is she kidding me with this", peppered with some "What the hell kinda lie is that". . .and some other expressions I can't describe.

But I really meant it oh. . .Nobody could have convinced me it was my fault.

venorite:
u were doing weed at 7th grade,hmmm thats wierd...i didnt start weed and pills until my 2nd year in the university...

lol yeah pretty much. I hung out wit. Bad crowd back in those days. I dunno what I was thinking. I still can't bleve I did sum if the things I did back then. N plus I went to a public ghetto middle school where most of the students were black n Mexicans. Students r rlly bad over here. But my experiences helped my parents with my younger sisters, they're all in a private academy so they won't be exposed to all the bad ish I was exposed to. U gotta realize grade school here isn't she same wit grade school in naija....it's totally different.

The goat has eaten d money was d excuse my sister gave to my mother when she misplaced N500 in early 2000's. My mom stood akimbo looking @her no knowing what to tell her "GOAT DON DEY EAT MONEY..?" was all i said

Vic-jay:
The goat has eaten d money was d excuse my sister gave to my mother when she misplaced N500 in early 2000's. My mom stood akimbo looking @her no knowing what to tell her "GOAT DON DEY EAT MONEY..?" was all i said

ROTFLMFAO,choi,bros ur sis badt gan