My case is a bad one.

Nobody around me to give me any good advice.

Sweetheart,forget about this guy,even if he takes you back,he will never trust you and that will be more painful to you than a break up.

You have learnt your lesson,make sure you dont ever cheat in you future relationships.


For you ex,it is over,their is little you can do about that,so focus on your next relationship.

Thanks.

Well, how would you know if you won't go ask him? If he's convinced that you're repentant enough and still wants you, he will take you back. Forgetting is almost always the difficult part in situations like this and not forgiveness. Cos anything at any point in time could trigger what you did last summer.

The reality of getting back together however, is that he can change his mind about forgiving you and kick you to the curb at any time, or you can change your mind about staying remorseful and cheat on him again, at any time.

Just never let go of the experience body you've built from facing temptations and engaging in not-too-positive conducts, which tells you that the reward is never worth the penalty. Goodluck oo.

Something very similar happened to me. And she is still saying exactly what u said after many months. That she will never hurt me again and will be the best thing in my life. She has talked to every member of my family and I still stand my ground. I'm done. Your words will never reassure him of anything. His heart is bleeding and u can't reason with him. With time, your actions might make him think differently, not your words. Most importantly you must learn to forgive yourself and heal too. You seem to have a conscience and that will eat away @ your self-esteem. You might feel unworthy of any good person that comes ur way and think Karma is after you whenever anything bad happens. Only time can heal his pain. You can't forget him literally, but for now you must forget him as a lover. You messed up,and i hope you've learnt your lessons and not that u are more worried abt what people/family will say or looking @ his status now.

If he is ok with it, call him once in a while. Don't crowd him with tears and apologies. Let him feel you have/will accept his decision. He will ultimately think things through. It is all about time, time ,time. But don't wait for him if he tells you he is done. Just move on.

Thanks

@blaise26.abj

Thanks. Pls forgive your ex if she really means her apology.

You cheated shamelessly. You lied consistently. You say you're sorry and wish to be forgiven. You want him back.

The resumption ain't that simple. You have to go through a rigorous cleansing process in sync with your past transgressions. Call it purgatory. While at this, work on yourself. Checkmate all vices that must've lured you to such dark thinking. Friends, family, environment, social media...etc...make it thorough. If you believe in God, pray.

He needs time to heal. Give him space. Overwhelming him with your litany of apologies and emotional outbursts might just work against you.

Good luck.

@ Osareime: I have forgiven her. In fact we still talk. But whenever i make a decision, i stand by it. I have little tolerance for nonsense yet i gave her a second chance which she still goofed.

She said exactly that too. That She will wait until i get married b4 she stops waiting. My dear lemme tell you the truth, if he is anything like me u will wait tire and have yourself to blame when u get older.I even begged her not to hesitate to date anyone else. I refuse to be responsible for anyone's late marriage. Every guy knows when he wants to marry a lady be it for love and compatibility, money and fame etc. He had even bought a ring, i was trying to get her finger size. Like i said, don't wait too long for him. Use that period to reevaluate ur values and strengthen yourself or else U will only have urself to blame. And when u have that new person, don't mess up dat one up too by being attached to the ex. At that point you won't owe him anything. Just learn to love again. Pele

blaise26.abj:
Something very similar happened to me. And she is still saying exactly what u said after many months. That she will never hurt me again and will be the best thing in my life. She has talked to every member of my family and I still stand my ground. I'm done. Your words will never reassure him of anything. His heart is bleeding and u can't reason with him. With time, your actions might make him think differently, not your words. Most importantly you must learn to forgive yourself and heal too. You seem to have a conscience and that will eat away @ your self-esteem. You might feel unworthy of any good person that comes ur way and think Karma is after you whenever anything bad happens. Only time can heal his pain. You can't forget him literally, but for now you must forget him as a lover. You messed up,and i hope you've learnt your lessons and not that u are more worried abt what people/family will say or looking @ his status now.

If he is ok with it, call him once in a while. Don't crowd him with tears and apologies. Let him feel you have/will accept his decision. He will ultimately think things through. It is all about time, time ,time. But don't wait for him if he tells you he is done. Just move on.

Very good advice.

Thanks.

Osareime:
I know the extent of what I have done but I also know how remorseful I am. I know I would never hurt him again but how do I even get him to believe that and give me anoda chance?
I know if he takes me back he would never regret it but how does he forgive this heartbreak and take me back? Is it even possible to take back a cheating partner? Pls I need advice.

Lol. Mumu raised to the power of 22. Reminds me of my umpteen vows to never drink BEER again - 'cos of terrible hangovers after a night of heavy drinking. Na so. [s]Get him to forgive and marry you (by manipulative or diabolical means, if need be), then come to me, and let's see if you would never hurt him again.[/s]

My long years in the field have taught me that ONLY gullible simpletons would believe a woman's assurances of fidelity. Believe it or not, it's easier for a penitent cassanova to honour his pledge of fidelity, than for a certified nun to retain her virtuousness after encountering a competent, determined, and persistent smooth operator.

Bottomline: forget your skin-deep remorse. No wise man would be impressed by that. Then again, the guy in question may not be a wise man, so you should try your luck as much as possible. If he takes you back and goes ahead to marry you, then consider yourself fortunate.You have a perfect mugu husband - the kind of pliable, infinitely forgiving, tolerant life-partner that most women crave.

@190

@190.

We were not apart for 10 months.

Yeah you really sound sincere and ready to change, just forgive youself and let it go, give him time and work on yourself. Maybe when he starts gettin beautiful stories about you he'll wanna come back remember I said “maybe” wish you the best tho

Value what u have next time and stop crying over spilled milk.

Why is that girls would never learn?

LWTMB.....a remorseful slut..nw dats a new one..

Love is not delusional. Lust is understandably delusional. The OP is in lust, not in love. You need to get a new sex partner and fvck the lust out of your mind. You are going insane already. Talking about remaining single for the rest of your life.

Mehn wat do girls think dey are? U had d mind 2 end it cos u slept wid som oda person, if na me notin concern me and u ooo i swear and infact am in a relationship similar 2 urs and am goin 2 show her dz page 4 her 2 read. I hate rubbish infact u ar rubbish

Leave that good man alone jor....cheating Arrow...what else do you want?its gals like you that turn guys into monsters...imagine..a guy loved and adored you and you shamelessly cheated and lied to him..now you want him back..nansense...do you know an average gal takes off atleast 5piece of clothing before sex....you removed all those clothes and never felt remorse while you were at it..now you are begging to be taken back..abeg go and purge yourself of your iniquity and pray anoda good man comes your way...seems to me you have learnt your lesson..

FREE THE BEACH!!! IF YOU ACCEPT HER BACK IN YOUR LIFE SHE WILL DO MORE THEN IT WOULD HAVE BEEN TOO LATE.

What makes her sound sincere??.

Once bitten twice shy...... The train still have a long way to go, you better stay inside and look for the next mugu.

If I were the guy, i wouldn't take u back. You cant eat your cake and have it. I'm sure d guy must have askd u for sex and you'd av given him the usual response ''i'm not yet ready'' only to go about sleeping with guys dat dont give a fv.ck about u or how u feel. I care less about u being remorseful, datz d price u gotta pay 4 being loose. Shior

Cheating was designed for men ...

Am making my assertions based on your story,

In the past, when you both started out, to be candid you were still very young although you were in love with him, you did not know what you wanted from the relationship, there was a craving to explore romance and imaginations which is very normal and natural, if you did not go out of your way to satisfy that craving, you would end up doing so now or in your marriage and i think that would have hurt more.

Today, i read and i can feel the level of maturity time and experience has taught you, make up your mind, call him to share a heart to heart discussion with him, be open like its ur last chance to love again, apologize to him about your past and make a promise of dedication to commit to him, especially if he's worth keeping, still loves you and willing to give another chance.

The most important thing is to clear your conscience with a heart felt apology and keep your heart open, the joker is not yours to play anymore, u can only hope, this would guarantee you peace of mind, every relationship is for a a reason, u are wiser now, take advantage of the maturity experience has taught you.

Stay strong, we have all made mistakes, learning and taking full responsibility of the consequences from our mistake is the epitome of maturity.

Love is never enough.

Osareime: Nobody around me to give me any good advice.

I know I love him more than anything in this world. I know I love him and if he forgives me we would be beautiful together.

But how can he forgive someone that lied and cheated for years? Can he ever trust me again?
After the truth came out he tried to put it behind him and still continue with me because he loved me but after a week the memories couldn't leave him and now even talking to me irritates him.
I am prepared to wait however long I have to. But can he ever be with me again?

No sweetie, you don't love him more than anything in the world.

What you are feeling right now is guilt. But I don't blame you. You are so young. This was probably bound to happen.

Going forward... I suggest you leave the dude alone. Register your regret and openness if he comes around but don't push it if he doesn't.

I say this from my own little experience. Once upon a time a girl who meant the world to me also did something similar but I couldn't walk then because she said she would kill herself.

Guess what?? I walked two and half years later. My point is that all this your drama won't bring trust back to the table. Once it's gone, it is gone, except in rare cases.

On the other hand, you are so young. There is a lot out there for you to see and experience. I don't believe a 24 year old man had any right to tie down a 16 year old girl.

Take your time. Experience the world. You will mature and meet another good guy.

My people have an adage that translates "when a young man that is not mature enough to tie a wrapper (around his waist) does so, when the breeze comes, it will carry him along with his wrapper".

I wish you goodluck

blaise26.abj:
Something very similar happened to me. And she is still saying exactly what u said after many months. That she will never hurt me again and will be the best thing in my life. She has talked to every member of my family and I still stand my ground. I'm done. Your words will never reassure him of anything. His heart is bleeding and u can't reason with him. With time, your actions might make him think differently, not your words. Most importantly you must learn to forgive yourself and heal too. You seem to have a conscience and that will eat away @ your self-esteem. You might feel unworthy of any good person that comes ur way and think Karma is after you whenever anything bad happens. Only time can heal his pain. You can't forget him literally, but for now you must forget him as a lover. You messed up,and i hope you've learnt your lessons and not that u are more worried abt what people/family will say or looking @ his status now.

If he is ok with it, call him once in a while. Don't crowd him with tears and apologies. Let him feel you have/will accept his decision. He will ultimately think things through. It is all about time, time ,time. But don't wait for him if he tells you he is done. Just move on.

well said bro, can't agree more, just be patience, don't listen to what criticism that will come ur way. I am happy U are able to open up and accept U wrong, most girls won't and will still burry and live through it. I commend ur wisdom to seek advice. But mind U it will all worth nothing after seeking advice and still repeat d same mistake, well just be optimistic, he may come back for U and I pray he comes back for. Goodluck