bjcole: @ jidegirl, i dnt ve problems wit debrief, i can help my wife wit domestic chores, sometimes i just do it 4 fun, but 4 both f us to sit down & drawn up plans on chores becos she is helping wit d bills, dats one pass me o. A man that is really busy will nt ve time 4 dat, & if my wife is equally busy, then she gets a house help, I dnt support women being over worked, U ladies shd go & listen to Nike Adeyemi & knw hw real women live & stop these western stuffs

Nuzo':


I admire the roles Claus and Debosky play in their resptive homes regarding domestic chores. I encourage more Nigerians to emulate them. However, its not in your position to define which Nigerian man is real or not cos of their views on demstic chores.

Some men will sweat blood to making sure their wives and kids have the best that humanity can provide, while they laze around at home. And most women are happy to have it that way.

Does such men seem "unreal" to you?

I just think its about what works for people.

My comments were actually sarcastic. And I agree with you. But people like bjcole thinks if a man routinely gets involved with household chores it means he must not have a job on his own, he isn't real, the wife must not be a real woman, etc, what do you have to say to such men?

engineerd: I don't mind cleaning....i'm a clean freak! But i will never cook! My wife must do the cooking!!!! except if she wants to eat poison!!!

LMAO!
Now tell me which woman will want this man in her/their kitchen.
I don't think it is absolutely necessary for the couple to "rotate" chores.
You are good in cleaning, run with that.

It is pointless eating watery salted stew with uncooked beef all because your hubby must cook as well. Some men learn how to cook (tasteful) / some don't even after many many "watchsee", some are not even willing to learn.

To me in Nigeria nowadays, Nigerian men are taking up more responsibilities ham in the home than women.

For example if my wife works longer hours or I have the benefit of working from home. then certain things are expected of me regarding cleaning, baby care and cooking

Its unreasonable for me to wait for a human that work same hours as me to come back and still cook, clean, babysit etc. If I cant do my share, then I better employ someone and pay from my pocket to get it done

vanitty:

LMAO!
Now tell me which woman will want this man in her/their kitchen.
I don't think it is absolutely necessary for the couple to "rotate" chores.
You are good in cleaning, run with that.

It is pointless eating watery salted stew with uncooked beef all because your hubby must cook as well. Some men learn how to cook (tasteful) / some don't even after many many "watchsee", some are not even willing to learn.

Lol. Exactly. Make yourself useful. Some are reading this thread as I must cook, loll

bjcole: so u will like ur hubby cooking 4 u while u cross ur legs watching movies abi. Its like u want to marry a dummy husband. He can help if he chooses, but 2 cook 4 d home, na woman work be dat

says who?

I was raised in a household that didn’t respect gender roles for the most part. My mom doesn’t believe in specific chores being relegated to females. But the truth is that females mostly do the cooking and males take the trash out, especially at night.

Some men are truly more domesticated than females. There’s nothing I can’t do by myself, thanks to my mom. I can't even count how many diapers and bottles I washed growing up! But like I was told when younger, my hands are made of plastic and they seriously hate doing chores. I’m perfectly happy with my feet up watching tv.

However, no woman can do shakara to me! If need be, I can cook, clean and take care of myself! I can make some mean Hamburger Helper, Lasagna or anything else with instructions. You’ll also be surprised the kind of info you can get from YouTube videos. Although, I tried making meatpie from scratch based on one of the YouTube videos and it turned out to be my greatest disaster till date. It wasn’t even edible and I had to throw the whole thing out.

But I do loathe doing the dishes (loading or unloading the dishwasher) and my laundry. I will only wash the dishes if there’s nobody else to do it and I’m out of plates. As for laundry, let’s just say that I have a lot of everything just so I can wait a month or more before doing my laundry.

dayokanu: For example if my wife works longer hours or I have the benefit of working from home. then certain things are expected of me regarding cleaning, baby care and cooking

Its unreasonable for me to wait for a human that work same hours as me to come back and still cook, clean, babysit etc. If I cant do my share, then I better employ someone and pay from my pocket to get it done

Sadly for some Nigerian men even those who may be out of work the woman must come back and cook, asking them to help out will be translated to mean you have become arrogant and wicked.
It is not wicked to expect her to come back after a day with screaming bosses to wash plate and cook fresh soup, bath baby.

dayokanu: Its only natural especially when both are working similar hours. and no one is sitting at home idle

You and your working class women!

All hands on deck! No movie central abi now Dayo?

jidegirl12: You and your working class women!

All hands on deck! No movie central abi now Dayo?

No movie Central ooo. When Your wife is movie Central what would she teach your daughters? That they just need to marry a moneybag and sit at home all day doing their own movie central

No indulgence at all. I don't want my daughters believing because they are born female then they can be slouches. If I am spending equal of both male and female kids then they must both pull their weight equally in their career.

dayokanu:

No movie Central ooo. When Your wife is movie Central what would she teach your daughters? That they just need to marry a moneybag and sit at home all day doing their own movie central

No indulgence at all. I don't want my daughters believing because they are born female then they can be slouches. If I am spending equal of both male and female kids then they must both pull their weight equally in their career.

Yesooooo!!! Same here

stillwater:



The 'real Nigerian men' have spoken.
Claus and Debosky must be from Pluto.

look,it is clear from this thread,that different people have different views of marriage,so i don't see the reason for your sarcastic comments.
I am not one of those who believe that a woman should necessarily contribute to settling bills in the home.
She is free to work,and spend her money as she pleases,as long as her job do not interfer with the kitchen and the kids.
Isn't that fair enough?

debrief08:
They are Internet Nigerians

you will find out that we are actually being real with you.

Shollypopz:
Yeah, real chauvinistic, non-thinking Nigerian men have spoken!

If that is chauvinism,then i have nothing else to say.
Wish you luck with your non-chauvinistic men.

Yes o, I'm happy to say they now assist with chores. The days of chores is a woman's responsibility has gone by. As for me, my husband does a lot of the chores from cleaning, tidying our wardrobe and in fact looking for clothes for my daughter and I to put on almost on a daily basis trust me I just enjoy d moment. At least I get help from him which I think is really really important to myself n my kid.

For me, domestically I prefer the cleaning jobs. Scrubbing bathroom, vacuuming the floor, and if we have babies, I would love baby sitting too.

My wife might do more of the cooking job cos I heard women have a sentimental attachment to the kitchen. I usually hear things like "This is MY kitchen/territory"

One good thing about this thread is that even women are now coming out to talk about how helpful their husbands are in the home. This is positive and a good contrast to the many instances where men are just castigated.

Wallie:
To people disputing the $70 per day figure:
While your child is in the baby and toddler stages, you'll pay more. That's because kids this age need more hands-on care and so the center must hire more caregivers. The average cost of center-based daycare in the United States is $11,666 per year ($972 a month), but prices range from $3,582 to $18,773 a year ($300 to $1,564 monthly), according to the National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies (NACCRRA). Parents report higher costs – up to $2,000 a month for infant care – in cities like Boston and San Francisco.


Grandma? Daycare? Real parents discuss finding childcare that works

Topping the charts with costs over $10,000 a year for baby and toddler daycare are the following states, beginning with the most expensive: Massachusetts, New York, Minnesota, Colorado, California, Illinois, Washington, and Wisconsin.
By contrast, the states with least expensive childcare are Mississippi ($4,650 a year on average for an infant or toddler), Kentucky ($6,500), and South Carolina ($5,850).
Childcare for preschoolers
Costs for daycare for preschool-age children are generally lower, averaging $8,800 a year ($733 a month). Depending on where you live, you'll pay anywhere from $4,460 to $13,185 a year ($371 to $1,100 a month).

The most expensive states for preschool-age care in a childcare center, with costs over $8,000 a year ($667 a month), beginning with the most expensive, are Massachusetts, New York, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Rhode Island, Colorado, and Pennsylvania..

The least expensive states for preschool-age care in a childcare center, with costs ranging from less than $4,000 a year ($333 a month) to around $7,000 a year are Mississippi, Kentucky, Louisiana, Kansas, Missouri, Oklahoma, Idaho, West Virginia, South Carolina, and Alabama.

To find out more about daycare options and costs in your area, contact your local Child Care Resource and Referral (CCR&R) agency. More than 850 CCR&R agencies throughout the country provide families with information about local childcare options and resources.

To find an agency near you, call the hotline at (800) 424-2246 or visit the Child Care Aware website. The website features a helpful tool that tells you the average cost of home daycare and daycare centers in your zip code.


http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-much-youll-spend-on-childcare_1199776.bc

Yes, this just confirms once again how Running a Daycare really is a lucrative business if one does it right. . .just make sure to dot all your Is and cross you Ts.

Some of the very good ones have a waiting list that spans over a year, some parents start registering their babies as soon as they stick shows a plus sign.

Sisi_Kill:
Yes, this just confirms once again how Running a Daycare really is a lucrative business if one does it right. . .just make sure to dot all your Is and cross you Ts.

Some of the very good ones have a waiting list that spans over a year, some parents start registering their babies as soon as they stick shows a plus sign.

People even turn a whole house into daycare for children or adults but there are regulations to follow, e.g. certifications, caregiver to child/adult ratio etc.

I have only read the 1st page and will create time to finish this responsible thread.
The responses are cute, heartwarming and educative. Though living apart with my sweetheart,
I am proud of what most of my friends are doing in their homes. Last Sunday, I hosted a
friend with his daughter and U could see the love they share because my guy practically
baby-sit whenever he is not at work.

It is only some few guys living in Nigeria and still beclouded by the old-school style of
"manliness" that don't see the joy and fun of sharing chores with the wife. After my last
visit to my baby, she knows that whenever coconut rice is cooked, I blow the final whistle

I salute the ladies here for saying positive things about their men.

dayokanu: For me, domestically I prefer the cleaning jobs. Scrubbing bathroom, vacuuming the floor, and if we have babies, I would love baby sitting too.

My wife might do more of the cooking job cos I heard women have a sentimental attachment to the kitchen. I usually hear things like "This is MY kitchen/territory"

why don't you just hire an au pair?

i mean - what happens if you and your partner are invited to a social gathering - you wouldn't go because you have to babysit or she has to babysit? i just don't get the big deal between house chores and nigerians.......

if you are not good at a particular task, hire an expert to sort you out! i cannot cook to save my life and i am too old to learn now. i buy my stew/soup from decent restaurants(a week's fill is about £20).....freeze it, microwave it when i have to eat and boil some rice and eat! happy days!

Thoughly, i av nt gotten married yet, bt wen i do, i shall assist my wife in almost all d domestic activities cuz i was trianed like. And ofwhich i believe it's d best tin 4 peace and luv to reign.

Thoughly, i av nt gotten married yet, bt wen i do, i shall assist my wife in almost all d domestic activities cuz i was trianed like. And ofwhich i believe it's d best tin 4 peace and luv to reign.Thoughly, i av nt gotten married yet, bt wen i do, i shall assist my wife in almost all d domestic activities cuz i was trianed like. And ofwhich i believe it's d best tin 4 peace and luv to reign.Thoughly, i av nt gotten married yet, bt wen i do, i shall assist my wife in almost all d domestic activities cuz i was trianed like. And ofwhich i believe it's d best tin 4 peace and luv to reign.

a bit off topic - childcare is no joke i pay more in childcare than my mortgage

@cotton the thing dey fear me o.my daughter pays £45 a day and so with my son who is under 1which should be £50 but get a discount making it £90 a day for them both.i dont think we can afford for me to work
Unfortunately i am one of those who cant stay home full time or i might run crazy.No help from the govt either as i am part of a couple who earn above the threshold
£1800 a month on childcare for a four week month is no joke
.seriously thinking of goin part time till lil oga goes to reception and hubby dropping hrs cos whats the point.j

I generally feel there's some kind of silent warfare going on in my head so I always feel too distracted doing chores. But I'm good with rags, brooms (do they still use those? ) and sponges. I'm also quite good in the kitchen though they used to laugh at me whenever I picked up a pot to start my experiments.

My mom taught us four dudes to be domestic. We had to take chores seriously and now I think of my future marriage mate as far more than my cook/cleaner/nanny. I keep thinking that what I want in her is my best friend, confidante, co-conspirator, business and all other kinds of partner. Nonetheless, chores are currently daunting for me, but I think it may be because of the enormous mental energy I've been putting out for getting on a year now to bring a project online.

I imagine that other men, married or not, have times when a bit of work or a project of some sort preoccupies them. I'm working at learning how to not let that mess with house responsibilities. I wonder if it has something to do with having no one to share the workings of my mind with.

Anyhow, I know that sharing the work, whether chores or bills, with my wife is completely normal to me. As it is right now, I can hold my own on all fronts . . . when my thoughts and broodings aren't getting the better of me, that is.

The men I know eg, family & friends do contribute to domestic duties...

@

You people are only deceving urselves. A man should not be in the kitchen unless probably when his wife is indisposed, like sick, pregnant, e.t.c. Even God gave Adam a role and eve her role. Have you asked urselves y divorce rate is higher, depression level goinh higher. Abeg you men are an embarrassment. Despite my grandparents wealth, grandma never allowed baba eat a maid's food.

^^^
We're an embarrassment to you, but not to our wives. I guess that's all that really matters.

So divorce rates are going up and depression levels going higher because men are now helping their wives with domestic chores?

Claus: ^^^
We're an embarrassment to you, but not to our wives. I guess that's all that really matters.

So divorce rates are going up and depression levels going higher because men are now helping their wives with domestic chores?

. There's a difference btwn assisting and outlining duties.

It honestly makes no sense at all especially the lady who's leveraging the compulsive chore enforcement on her hussy on the platter of bill splitting. I know wealthy women who still does these duties. In my own opinion the men are lazy and are less resourcesful. You should take pride in being provisional to your family. Mr. claus I'm ready for this