jidegirl12:

Almost $2k a month ! For just one kid?

Well, if you convert, then approx $1.6k a month, yes for just one child. Our daughter's nursery gives a discount of 5% or 10% (can't remember) for your second child

debrief08:
My Sister, na my fellow sister I dey try to help, who knows he may pick up something and put a genuine smile on her face

Jeeedus! I just shivered at the thought of one poor girl jamming that one.

Ah! Abeg intensify your help oh. No one, not even one's worst enemy deserves that.

yankidelta:

Did you actually mean 70dollars a day for a childs upkeep?Then one wonders how much you earn? find that to be an exaggeration anyway.

LMFAO! Are you joking? Why do you think some people decide it is far cheaper for one parent to stay at home than have children in daycares and nurseries?

What most don't understand is that you can't just wake up and decide you want to open a daycare. There's licensing involved, there are criteria for what type of teachers one hires, these teachers actually have degrees in child care. . .we are not talking your "run of the mill I like children therefore I can teach" kind of people. So you know you won't be paying them your run of the mill salaries.

There are certain classes and certification your staff must always be current on (First Aid, Nutrition etc). You also can't just open your daycare anywhere in any kind of building, there are certain requirements that should be met. If you now decide to include babies (i.e 6wks to 18months) then that's a whole different set of rules all together.

All of these adds up to a huge monthly or bi monthly expense and you have no choice in the matter. . .you can't cut corners because the state is allowed to walk into your daycare for surprise inspection and depending on what you are in default on, you could find yourself fined a lot of money, put on probation and even have your licence yanked.

So yeah, daycares can be that expensive. Some people are lucky to have their child care subsidized by the state where all they have to pay is like a third of the daycare fees but not all daycares accept subsidized payments because of the hoops one has to jump through.

bjcole: well since u ve given me benjamin cole, no qualms, i just dont like d way u girls r taking this issue. I almost got married 2 one lady that works wit Agip some yrs ago, i envisaged this & i had 2 back out, she doesnt cook, only restaurants, even 2 help me wit house chores was wahala. This my wife when we were dating, my friends usually come 2 my house 4 lunch.

You know I don't support men in the kitchen either as long as you don't rebel against taking care of your kids as in practically hands on deck.,. All other things is fine by me... I'll spoil you rotten with food because I know for sure food plays a very important role in men's life esp in a marriage ...

Most men don't like doing house chores, even if they are capable of doing it. its like telling them to wear skirts and put on a lipstick. i personally don't like house chores, even though my mother tried her best to instill them on me and my brothers (we are six boys), we still weren't concerned, at times we did it just to please and make her happy but it didnt change our resentment towards house chores. Even if I get married tommorow, if my wife can't keep up with the domestic chores, then i'll have to hire a maid because i cant imagine my cooking and cleaning, not that i find it demeaning or whatever. its just me

ileobatojo:

What is the benefit of trying to speak sense to a brick wall, I wonder? Brick is dense AND porous you know?

It does not take too much, to know a woman that clearly lack respect. U will surely do d same to your husband in d house.

Yes they are and they should be happy (not whinning) taking responsibilities in the home. We arent born with a special label on our forehead saying "you've got v.gina and much quench doing housework"

When madam is working and bringing home thin or fat bacon, why not. Who wouldn't like rubbing of leg, running the bathtub, nicely done bed, glass of wine and hot plate of fresh fish people soup and plantain after work.

Time is changing and if they dont change, they will be like Romney and the Republicans.

solomon111: And she will be busy doing what?
I see it as my sole duty to take care of the bills,while she takes care of the kitchen and my kids.
Shikena!!
I don't care if the lady in question is raised in Nigeria or abroad.

bjcole: well since u ve given me benjamin cole, no qualms, i just dont like d way u girls r taking this issue. I almost got married 2 one lady that works wit Agip some yrs ago, i envisaged this & i had 2 back out, she doesnt cook, only restaurants, even 2 help me wit house chores was wahala. This my wife when we were dating, my friends usually come 2 my house 4 lunch.

The 'real Nigerian men' have spoken.
Claus and Debosky must be from Pluto.

stillwater:



The 'real Nigerian men' have spoken.
Claus and Debosky must be from Pluto.

They are Internet Nigerians

401kk: Most men don't like doing house chores, even if they are capable of doing it. its like telling them to wear skirts and put on a lipstick. i personally don't like house chores, even though my mother tried her best to instill them on me and my brothers (we are six boys), we still weren't concerned, at times we did it just to please and make her happy but it didnt change our resentment towards house chores. Even if I get married tommorow, if my wife can't keep up with the domestic chores, then i'll have to hire a maid because i cant imagine my cooking and cleaning, not that i find it demeaning or whatever. its just me

I really doubt most human beings like doing house chores. It's not innate for women to like doing it either. But somebody has to do it.

debrief08:
They are Internet Nigerians

Lol, culled from JohnDoe.

Claus:

Chai! I must mark this day, 8/11/2012, as a great day for me on Nairaland. Lol!

LMAO . . .

Table Leg :
Don't know about others but from day one, i have seen domestic responsibilities as something a man doesn't need to be told to take onboard!

Absolutely Agree.
I suppose it's easier for me than some others because I was basically brought up with that school of thought.
My Dad for instance was never one to Neglect his Home duties. Infact Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsey have got nothing on him when it comes to Cooking.
I some Some Men would see it as an unnecessary chore just like some women would see fixing the car or DIY as unnecessary but I don't.
Simply see it as one those things needed to be done to keep the home running and functioning.

chic2pimp:

Absolutely Agree.
I suppose it's easier for me than some others because I was basically brought up with that school of thought.
My Dad for instance was never one to Neglect his Home duties. Infact Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsey have got nothing on him when it comes to Cooking.
I some Some Men would see it as an unnecessary chore just like some women would see fixing the car or DIY as unnecessary but I don't.
Simply see it as one those things needed to be done to keep the home running and functioning.

I am really happy today, Thank God for this thread, I am happy to hear from men who know the real meaning of actually being men and leaders. God bless you all a million times.

Claus:

Well, if you convert, then approx $1.6k a month, yes for just one child. Our daughter's nursery gives a 5% or 10% (can't remember) for your second child

.

So 5% off of $1,600 ( minus just $80) = fifteen twenty ... That's a lot for nursery man!

@ jidegirl, i dnt ve problems wit debrief, i can help my wife wit domestic chores, sometimes i just do it 4 fun, but 4 both f us to sit down & drawn up plans on chores becos she is helping wit d bills, dats one pass me o. A man that is really busy will nt ve time 4 dat, & if my wife is equally busy, then she gets a house help, I dnt support women being over worked, U ladies shd go & listen to Nike Adeyemi & knw hw real women live & stop these western stuffs

stillwater:

I really doubt most human beings like doing house chores. It's not innate for women to like doing it either. But somebody has to do it.

Thats why we have gender roles.

bjcole: @ jidegirl, i dnt ve problems wit debrief, i can help my wife wit domestic chores, sometimes i just do it 4 fun, but 4 both f us to sit down & drawn up plans on chores becos she is helping wit d bills, dats one pass me o. A man that is really busy will nt ve time 4 dat, & if my wife is equally busy, then she gets a house help, I dnt support women being over worked, U ladies shd go & listen to Nike Adeyemi & knw hw real women lives & stop these western stuffs

My husband actually decided we draw up the plan, no western stuff, very traditional Igbo man but well groomed and respectful. He is far from Jobless, just a man who knows that his family's happiness is more than his ego.
We shared the bills and the chores that day for a smooth running home.
The things he does for me I will love him for the rest of my life, I appreciate it more than buying me a Car or Jewelry, I know he loves me, is invested in us and I can comfortably put every effort to make him successful.

Ujujoan:

Men are not 'lazy', they just dont think they should be the ones doing the chores. They think it's someone else' responsibility, like their wife . . . People like you arew the ones encouraging them!

What's wrong with a man cooking? But then again like you siad, that's you!

I just get the feeling that ur husband must be going through hell. Looks like u run that home. What a lucky man. Thumbs up.

@ Debrief 08 pls answer this question, we are here 2 learn & get better. I know there r roles in a home, What is d role of a husband & wife in a marriage? i might be able to understand u better. & i ve also heard about gender equality, what is ur take on that? debriefly pls

401kk: Most men don't like doing house chores, even if they are capable of doing it. its like telling them to wear skirts and put on a lipstick. i personally don't like house chores, even though my mother tried her best to instill them on me and my brothers (we are six boys), we still weren't concerned, at times we did it just to please and make her happy but it didnt change our resentment towards house chores. Even if I get married tommorow, if my wife can't keep up with the domestic chores, then i'll have to hire a maid because i cant imagine my cooking and cleaning, not that i find it demeaning or whatever. its just me

Women don't have an innate desire to do house chores either. But when something has to be done, it has to. Get up and do some cleaning Mr, Say no to Laziness!

Do not forget to train your boys how to do basic house chores so they don't end up lazy in that area like their father.

Sisi_Kill:

Lmfao, Jenny I have a story similar to that. About 6yrs ago, my older brother had this school mate, who had just arrived from Nigeria, over for a weekend visit. Throughout that weekend, the guy watched in shock as my brother did domestic chores. You could tell he wanted to slap my brother upside the head when he how deftly change his baby's diaper. . .with one hand. He all but called my brother a sissy and anyone who has met my brother knows he is nothing but a sissy.

Sure he is very particular about what the temperature of the bottle is before feeding the baby, he can tell you off the top of his head how many diapers a day his baby uses on average, Yeah he can tell the difference between a teething ring and a pacifier or a onesie from an overall but that does not make him a sissy because as soon as he's done with that he is jumping on his bike (which his wife hates) to go meet his club members for whatever it is they do there and when he gets back home, he is rewiring the sound system all over the house because he one time he heard a cracking sound when the music was playing amd his weekends are spent playing or refereeing one football league or the other.

The nature of his job allows him to work from home, so it is not uncommon to come home and see him with a bluetooth his ears, his mini pad in his hand conducting a meeting while warming his children's meals. I swear the two days a month he has to travel to his office in NY for their monthly meeting his kids and wife miss him so much. . .you'll think he's been gone for months on end.

Anyway, his friend was all over the place telling people how the thug they knew in secondary has become something else oh. Ah, come and see him doing laundry and feeding baby. . .how he feels sorry for him and he can't believe my mom allowed her son's head to be "exchanged" blah blah blah.

Well in August, we all met at a party and guess who is seeking opinion on what kinda diaper rash cream works because the one he used previously seem to compound the issue. . . Mr. Macho Friend!!! He went on about how they wash their baby's clothes seperately because he has found out the regular laundry detergent because it is too harsh for their baby's skin. He even went on to advice another dad to air dry baby clothes instead of using the dryer and then said proudly how his baby only used the size two diaper for like 3 weeks.

It was the funniest convo I had eavesdropped on in a long time because these were all men and see my brother feeling cool with himself because he is like the sage in the group. . .his kids (3) are all grown now. See him telling the other guys how girls are easier to potty train than guys blah blah. . .I swear you woulda thought they were discussing hedge funds or something.

What I have learnt is that it is not about the chores themselves, it is about how you see them. . .If see domestic chores are for women alone, then doing it becomes a big deal but if you feel domestic chores are just that. . .domestic chores and they need to be done, then it becomes a none issue.

The biggest misconception out there is that once men start doing these things, their wives will take advantage of them and start disrespecting them. That is funny to me because I count how many times my SIL pushes my brother out of the kitchen because he wants to start cooking or mircowave something to eat. She still has that old school mentality of setting table for her husband's food when dude is just okay eating over the kitchen sink (The fights they have over that ehn. . .Lol). The truth is women are generally easy to please. . .the best way to get away with not doing much is to show you are willing to do a lot (Please Cabal don't kill me for letting the secret out ).

Life can really be simple and hassle free. . .I don't understand why some like to complicate it with unnecessary turf wars.

Intresting story!

I also share your opinion that domestic chores are nothing but how one view them.

Good a thing my parents never discriminated on sexes regarding domestic chores. As a young lad, with the help of my elder sister, I babysitted my kid bro. I've always been proud of myself for that.

However, I've been around ladies and have discovered that you can never impress some.
It takes a good wife to appreciate the kinds of your brother.

On a side note, most ladies I knew back then either burst into heavy laughter or get very angry when they see me going to market or making a meal.

@Topic

Nigerian men are taking up more domestic roles cos they are begining to understand that being involved with domestic roles allows you more time to monitor your kids closely, bonds with the family and saves cost. Nowadays, it even earns you loads of respect from your peers.

I must say that most penticostal churches has done a great work by impacting these values in Nigerian men.

bjcole: @ Debrief 08 pls answer this question, we are here 2 learn & get better. I know there r roles in a home, What is d role of a husband & wife in a marriage? i might be able to understand u better. & i ve also heard about gender equality, what is ur take on that? debriefly pls

Sir, like I said, everyone has the ability to do everything, God did not give anyone roles, these are imposed by some people with their beliefs, God gave us each the ability to be the best in everything, some have weaknesses in some areas, some are strong in some areas, when you find someone who compliments you then you are lucky. My husband doesnt believe in gender roles, like I said if today he loses his job I can comfortably step in or if he dies, if today I die or fall ill, I know my children will be well catered for because my husband is the greatest dad ever, and can take care of a home. If he dies today his kids will not live a lower standard of life than what we provide, I wont be a widow looking all over for assistancee because I was stuck in gender role of being the cook and baby sitter, If I die, I know my kids wont be distributed to relatives because my husband is incapable of raising them on his own
That is what works for us, we are happy knowing if anything happens to any of us the other can easily step in without breaking down totally.
I respect my husband and He loves me, that what God asks and that is what we do, what men have interpreted as gender roles is not law to us

stillwater:



The 'real Nigerian men' have spoken.
Claus and Debosky must be from Pluto.

Yeah, real chauvinistic, non-thinking Nigerian men have spoken!

bjcole: @ jidegirl, i dnt ve problems wit debrief, i can help my wife wit domestic chores, sometimes i just do it 4 fun, but 4 both f us to sit down & drawn up plans on chores becos she is helping wit d bills, dats one pass me o. A man that is really busy will nt ve time 4 dat, & if my wife is equally busy, then she gets a house help, I dnt support women being over worked, U ladies shd go & listen to Nike Adeyemi & knw hw real women live & stop these western stuffs

That's her choice and thank Godness for freedom , anybody can paddle their boat where and how they want .

That's my choice too and it rocks my boat too for us to listen to Nike Adeyemi that's no better than I am is what I don't understand ,

jidegirl12:

That's her choice and thank Godness for freedom , anybody can paddle their boat where and how they want .

That's my choice too and it rocks my boat too for us to listen to Nike Adeyemi that's no better than I am is what I don't understand ,

Lol at the Nike Comment. I hope Nike also has a tape on how Men ought to unconditionally love their wives

I don't mind cleaning....i'm a clean freak! But i will never cook! My wife must do the cooking!!!! except if she wants to eat poison!!!

To people disputing the $70 per day figure:

While your child is in the baby and toddler stages, you'll pay more. That's because kids this age need more hands-on care and so the center must hire more caregivers. The average cost of center-based daycare in the United States is $11,666 per year ($972 a month), but prices range from $3,582 to $18,773 a year ($300 to $1,564 monthly), according to the National Association of Child Care Resource & Referral Agencies (NACCRRA). Parents report higher costs – up to $2,000 a month for infant care – in cities like Boston and San Francisco.


Grandma? Daycare? Real parents discuss finding childcare that works

Topping the charts with costs over $10,000 a year for baby and toddler daycare are the following states, beginning with the most expensive: Massachusetts, New York, Minnesota, Colorado, California, Illinois, Washington, and Wisconsin.
By contrast, the states with least expensive childcare are Mississippi ($4,650 a year on average for an infant or toddler), Kentucky ($6,500), and South Carolina ($5,850).
Childcare for preschoolers
Costs for daycare for preschool-age children are generally lower, averaging $8,800 a year ($733 a month). Depending on where you live, you'll pay anywhere from $4,460 to $13,185 a year ($371 to $1,100 a month).

The most expensive states for preschool-age care in a childcare center, with costs over $8,000 a year ($667 a month), beginning with the most expensive, are Massachusetts, New York, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Rhode Island, Colorado, and Pennsylvania..

The least expensive states for preschool-age care in a childcare center, with costs ranging from less than $4,000 a year ($333 a month) to around $7,000 a year are Mississippi, Kentucky, Louisiana, Kansas, Missouri, Oklahoma, Idaho, West Virginia, South Carolina, and Alabama.

To find out more about daycare options and costs in your area, contact your local Child Care Resource and Referral (CCR&R) agency. More than 850 CCR&R agencies throughout the country provide families with information about local childcare options and resources.

To find an agency near you, call the hotline at (800) 424-2246 or visit the Child Care Aware website. The website features a helpful tool that tells you the average cost of home daycare and daycare centers in your zip code.

http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-much-youll-spend-on-childcare_1199776.bc

stillwater:
The 'real Nigerian men' have spoken.
Claus and Debosky must be from Pluto.

I admire the roles Claus and Debosky play in their resptive homes regarding domestic chores. I encourage more Nigerians to emulate them. However, its not in your position to define which Nigerian man is real or not cos of their views on demstic chores.

Some men will sweat blood to making sure their wives and kids have the best that humanity can provide, while they laze around at home. And most women are happy to have it that way.

Does such men seem "unreal" to you?

I just think its about what works for people.

engineerd: I don't mind cleaning....i'm a clean freak! But i will never cook! My wife must do the cooking!!!! except if she wants to eat poison!!!

lol, I was about to attack you until I saw unless she wants to eat poison. LMAO!

Its only natural especially when both are working similar hours. and no one is sitting at home idle

Nuzo':


I admire the roles Claus and Debosky play in their resptive homes regarding domestic chores. I encourage more Nigerians to emulate them. However, its not in your position to define which Nigerian man is real or not cos of their views on demstic chores.

Some men will sweat blood to making sure their wives and kids have the best that humanity can provide, while they laze around at home. And most women are happy to have it that way.

Does such men seem "unreal" to you?

I just think its about what works for people.

I almost agree, I think we are talking about a situation where both couple work, if a couple decides a wife should stay home and be a home maker then the husband should provide, they have shared their roles already and if any assistance could be regarded as pitching in not a necessary role, we are talking of situations where both spouses work.

Shollypopz:
Women don't have an innate desire to do house chores either. But when something has to be done, it has to. Get up and do some cleaning Mr, Say no to Laziness!

Do not forget to train your boys how to do basic house chores so they don't end up lazy in that area like their father.

Trash