coogar: for me, romantic love is not love but a complex of attitudes about love....

ileobatojo: I can't say I understand where this discussion is going but if I were to summarize true romantic love IMO, I would say it is the one that endures. You can't say for sure that it is true love until you can look back with the passage of time and it's still there. And by time I mean the time it takes to get to know all about them and all or most aspects of the relationship. Whether it is reciprocal is another matter. Whether you end up together or not is also another matter.

In a way it is selfish, it depends on being with the right person/compatibility issues and the absence of major blunders. So it starts selfish but should continue mostly selfless; if that makes any sense. Ok I think I'm rambling, gosh this is a hard question!

Sagamite:

Nah! Love is not a choice.

Companionship is.

Sagamite:

So you are basically saying lower the intensity and keep it simple but genuine?

Sagamite:
What is love then?

Sagamite:

Looking at yours, it appears you perception of love is achieveable with multiple different partners and there is nothing like soul mate.

coogar:

love is far deeper - when one is in love, it's a feeling of completeness....there's a feeling that something one has missed all his life has suddenly returned, the feeling makes one levitate above the ordinary world....

coogar: there's a difference between "true love" and "limerence"(romantic love or whatever they call it)...

romantic love on the other hand is a fairy-tale: it's a feeling of what we want our partner to be rather than accepting them for who they truly are.....women have been cooked up with this myth that there's a prince in a shiny armour waiting for them out there....and it makes them place an unrealistic demand on their romantic partner.

romantic love never produces human relationships as long as its "romantic" because we are in love with our own fantastical creations rather than the other person for who they really are.....all we keep doing is expecting our partners to make us happy like the fairy tales described it but ask people who have been married to their partners half of their lives and they would tell you it's not the adrenaline rush kinda love today's women crave that has sustained them!

Sagamite:
Sho!
Are you sure it is not the hallucinating impact of weed you are describing here.
The one that makes one blur out "Oh la la laa! Johnny, I am on cloud fcking NINE"!

Blame their useless girl/women's magazines.

coogar:


a lot of women are still stuck in this wash&rinse cycle of romantic love because they are deluded fiery romantic love must be everlasting!

ileobatojo:

That's rich coming from someone who's love is based on the firmness of his spouse's breasts.

Sorry, not trying to derail thread.

coogar:

my love is not based on boöbs...it thrives because of böobs otherwise i would be a flaming faggöt!

ileobatojo:

But doesn't this make you 'deluded that fiery romantic love must be everlasting'?

Sagamite: Let me hear people's views especially the people that are married and those that advocate love.

How do you see love? Romantic love is conditional and lasts as long as you both decide.

What is it? It's an emotional feeling which causes people to make stupid or smart decisions.

How is it embodied? in actions

How should it work? No formula.It's supposed to work anywhere,anytime,anyhow under any temperature or pressure.

Is it important in a relationship? Very. Love is an emotion which plays a vital role in relationships. Without Love,one fails to maximise their full potential.To me, it's the grease in relationships which stops the creaking sounds.It's impossible to give your all and be your best when in a dry relationship.

Is it sustainable? As long as you are BOTH working on it.

Can marriage be good if it is weak? Never! A single crack is enough to bring down a tower.Erosion works on weak points.

carefreewannabe:

You're very polite

What a coincidence you have just opened this thread. I discussed the question with a friend JUST yesterday.
I told her what I have just said to you.

I said: 'I love you' is a sentence that begins with the personal pronoun 'I' and in fact it is all about 'I' and 'ME'. I, in the first place, you follow but you're just " a means to an end".
People say they love others because they get something out of it or at least hope to get something and even expect to get something.
Ask people why they love their partners and you'll get answers like:

"He / she takes care of ME."
"He / she makes ME smile."
"He / She takes ME places I have never been to."
"He / She satisfies ME in bed".
"He / She completes ME."
"He / She makes ME a better person."

The list goes on and on and on.
Note: People have a combination of the reasons mentioned above and some others that are about 'I' and 'Me'.

Now, what is even more interesting is that people "love" their partners AS LONG AS they meet / fulfill their expectaions and needs. BUT what happens if the partner stops doing so? The person you called baby, honey, boo becomes a b.itch, an a.sshole and so on and in many cases bitter feelings and hatred evolve.

Bottom line: We "love" people because they do something for us, something we want and / or need, something that makes us feel good. Take it away and "love" will die, sooner or later.

Delfino: L.O.V.E -- Come in different ways and can be ingnited by different reasons.

It could be a function of seeing what you really cherish, like, fancy, adore, want, in a person or a thing.
We all have fantasies and sometimes we unexpectedly meet these things that we fantasize about and then a fire is ignited.
You become so attached and obsessed with that particular thing or person just because they satisfy some feelings or emotions in you.

It now does not matter if those feeling you exhibit are reciprocated, NO!
As long as you satisfy your feelings, emotions, by just beeing encapsulated by the thought of that thing or person, you are just OK.

Most times it doesn't make sense and the truth is --- It does not really have to make sense !
It is hard to explain sometimes but if you have been there and done that, you will simply understand.

True love is all about giving and expressing yourself for something without wanting anything in return.
Just as long as it makes you happy.

You can die for something or someone --- it is because doing so satisfies a feeling inside you.
You can sacrifice or give your last dime to save a situation or someone --- just because doing so makes you happy and you feel good doing that.

Where true love is being expressed, consequences are damned and prices can not be negotiated.
You will be ready to give it all it takes at just any cost and in the end, no regrets however it turns out.

Be it -- past, present and future, you will always cherish the moment with fond memories.

bumtos: As for me, I entered labour room with my wife when she delievered our first daughter.
If you come to Ajayi Hospital in Ikorodu. If u are around within lagos by the time ur wife wanted to deliever. It is must for you to enter with ur wife. Infact, women are trying o no be small.

Tgirl4real: What r u talking bumtos I think u posted on the wrong thread.

joe4christ: Putting my interest at heart when about taking any decission while i reciprocate same is the most romantic means of showing me love.