bjcole: Some f our women stil behave in this their fishy brain actitude, even going 2 d man's house can be dangerous, if he is alone. I ve seen too many things among bank ladies that i always ve little respect for d married ones. Lots of our married women r compromising these days & its annoying. D other lady working thruout d night wit her colleague in a hotel, more grease 2 ur elbow. As a married woman, there things u cant do, common sense.

Kobojunkie: WOW . . . . I guess there are tons of married INSECURE beings out there. So the wife can't go to an uncle's house, but she had no problems going there before she met her husband? ROFLMAO!!

If the man wanted to ra_pe her, he waits until she is married to do that? ROFLMAO!!!! Funny enough I used to know someone who was suspicious of his wife to that extent. She had to report everything to him and he essentially went most everywhere with her. He would not even allow her visit her friend's place unannounced. He was always paranoid that the friend's husband, a man he did not even care to meet, would take advantage of his wife, if the friend was not home at the time. MY gosh!! And the wife, she claimed the man was being "Protective" by doing so. Seriously might as well put a burka around her and chain her to the fridge. ROFLMAO!!
Silly people . . . everyone wants to take advantage of your wife, even those who knew she looked way better before she married you.

Ujujoan: I don't get it . . . . Is she going to sleep with him Is she not going jut for the cheque

What exactly is the problem here? The fact that the meeting point is a hotel

Na wah oh . . .

My dear Joan, you want me to go dig out my cane?

The problem is glaring - presenting a cheque for deposit should be done in the bank or office, during regular working hours. I can't see any man being pleased with this set-up. The setting is totally wrong, and the woman would be well within her rights, if she insisted on a chaperone of her choice.

Ujujoan:

What is an 'appropriate location'
How does 'desperation' come into this
Are hotels meant for just sex and sex-related activities
Seriously, we need to stop with these annoying stereotypes o jare . . .

free2ryhme:
Being a married woman carries a high level of respect .. it is not going there dat is the problem but the misinterpretation of those who might see u there by accident.. By then it might be too late ... Junkie ask ya sef y didn't the uncle go to her house to give her the check?

Sisi_Kill:
[size=13pt]Everyday I marvel at the strange idea some people have that they can control what someone else does by laying down rules. [/size]Instead of praying to get a good spouse who is dignified enough to actappropriately, they wanna give DOs and DON'T. Like my granmomma loves to say when one embarks on a fruitless effort. . .E pe ni be. (I hope that reads right)

Kobojunkie:

So, being married means you do not go to visit your uncles anymore? You don't even go to see your cousins at all because somehow, after marriage, they all become monsters? If the uncle is older than she is, and is trying to help HER, why should he be the one to inconvenience himself?

Here's a better question for you. If you need help from someone(and you are single), do you expect that person to come to your house?

Now, the same question (this time you are married), what changes?

And another question, What is it that can happen at the uncle's house that can't happen at your house(single or married)?

Oooh, and here's another one? What if the uncle is also married? Why should he be the one to come over to your house? I mean what about his own respect?


Why do you folks like to think like crabs??

Ujujoan:
Not realy . . .
I've worked in short project where the office was actually a hotel room!
It's the only sure place to get constant power supply. No extra costs since you are already paying for lodging! When you think about it, it actually makes the most sense!
Also, the last time I was in my head office location, I had deadlines to meet and had to work with a male colleague (who's also married), in my hotel room till past midnight!
Could we have worked in the lobby or bar or reatauant, YES. But we chose to work from my room. Quite convineint and I could check up on my kid sleeping nearby and work at the same time . . . kini big deal

free2ryhme:
B4 you jump into conclusion pls read my comment .. I said y cant the uncle take the check to her house .. payin them a visit show that he is a matured individual. Y make your make ur niece come to you in an hotel? No matter how young she is to him he must understand that she is married an deserves some respect..and Dont get me wrong an "hotel" sends a different and wrong signal altogether from an Nigerian mentality ..

Siena:
My dear Joan, you want me to go dig out my cane?
The problem is glaring - presenting a cheque for deposit should be done in the bank or office, during regular working hours. I can't see any man being pleased with this set-up. The setting is totally wrong, and the woman would be well within her rights, if she insisted on a chaperone of her choice.

stillwater:

Wow you trust Nigerian men like that? You're brave! I understand restaurant, lobby not room.

coogar:

especially in a society where if you dial 9-1-1 - it would take 4 hours before you get a police response.....why do some women put themselves in harm's way where there's no law that would protect them. this is nigeria for feck's sake - there are no specialists in the station dealing with räpe cases - the whole report is done over the counter with the police throwing demeaning questions to the victims like they are armed robbers!

stillwater: I don't think we should be seeing the issue where the 'man of the house' has to allow you to go or not. As a female, living in a country where rape issues are not taken seriously, let's analyze this, is it a matter of him coming down to the lobby to handover the cheque, or over lunch in a restaurant at the hotel, yes I can do that, definitely not hotel room.

Kobojunkie: Yes, all business deals made in hotels are suspicous? abi?

Siena:

In the Nigerian context, an "uncle" who would rather a female banker / marketer, married or single comes to his hotel room to pick up a cheque to fund HIS own account is more than suspicious - it's way out of line.

We're not talking a hotel lobby, where there'll be others present, which would be a better option. How long does it take to hand over a cheque? It's not like we're talking the reading and signing of a whole bunch of documents, which could be time consuming. This cheque could have been handed over in the lobby. As a gentleman, he could come down to meet her in the lobby, and hand over the cheque.

But no, he wants to hand over the cheque, on HIS own terms.

Siena:

In the Nigerian context, an "uncle" who would rather a female banker / marketer, married or single comes to his hotel room to pick up a cheque to fund HIS own account is more than suspicious - it's way out of line.

Siena:
We're not talking a hotel lobby, where there'll be others present, which would be a better option. How long does it take to hand over a cheque? It's not like we're talking the reading and signing of a whole bunch of documents, which could be time consuming. This cheque could have been handed over in the lobby. As a gentleman, he could come down to meet her in the lobby, and hand over the cheque.

But no, he wants to hand over the cheque, on HIS own terms.

Kobojunkie:

The mere mention of hotel auto-magically means HOTEL ROOM to many of these INSECURE beings though. That here is the problem I am having with this.

That Nigeria has a general crime problem is not enough reason why, a woman should be shackled AFTER marriage(not even before married) in the same country. How does this solve the problem, or any problem?

The same woman probably went anywhere she needed to, and developed protective instincts before marriage, enough to help her survive in the same country, even with all the stories of ra_pe and what not. But after marriage she suddenly becomes INCAPABLE, even around her own uncle? Never heard that the Nigerian woman looses her brain after marriage.

Kobojunkie:
The mere mention of hotel auto-magically means HOTEL ROOM to many of these INSECURE beings though. That here is the problem I am having with this.

That Nigeria has a general crime problem is not enough reason why, a woman should be shackled AFTER marriage(not even before married)

Kobojunkie: Next time, rather than lie that it has anything to do with the Nigerian context, please make sure to state that it is the context of your mind you refer to here.

Kobojunkie: When I am in town, and lodging at a hotel, I have my cousins and nieces come in and show up to my hotel or my room. They are my cousins, nieces and nephews, and I don't have a problem with them showing up where I live(even if temporary) to get what I have for them or hang out with me.

Kobojunkie: The @OP mentioned nothing of a hotem room in his post. Please go back and re-read to be sure you have your details right. He mentioned HOTEL.

Kobojunkie: Also he is helping her. So, I still don't see why you all EXPECT HIM to come to her.

igaro: Is it proper for a guy to allow his wife, a God fearing woman, the leeway to go meet an uncle (not related o, just family friends) at a hotel he's lodged in, simply because he wants to assist her with a deposit into his account which will inturn reflect as a boost on her own target in the bank for that month?

Sisi_Kill:

Uju haba naa, an appropriate location is a car, yeah because no one has ever had sexxxxx in a car. Oh Oh I know, what about a mosque or church? Now those place for sure sure have not had sexxxx. . .had in them (that English get as e be. . .then again, the whole topic get as e be, so I am in good company) Or the child's daycare center, yep. . . no one has ever cheated with their child in close proximity.

Everyday I marvel at the strange idea some people have that they can control what someone else does by laying down rules. Instead of praying to get a good spouse who is dignified enough to actappropriately, they wanna give DOs and DON'T. Like my granmomma loves to say when one embarks on a fruitless effort. . .E pe ni be. (I hope that reads right)

maclatunji:

So in your estimation, going to the hotel by this wife is "appropriate". This thread is becoming classic, you ladies are providing us with "uncommon wisdom". After the deed is done, she will be looking for the husband's understanding- abi?

stillwater:
I would like to walk the streets at night to go buy something, but I don't. Is it because I can't do it? Nope, but because I have studied my environment. I have my senses to know that based on the statistics on crime, there are certain things I cannot do as a female first. I know the men try to dictate what wives should do and what they shouldn't, but without this overbearing nature and personally judging this issue I don't think it's something I'd jump into.

armyofone: As usual

people do business in the hotel which is a neutral place as least she didn't go to his home to collect the money. Okay granted the english hassles here . . . hotel bedroom, hotel lobby, hotel lounge etc not the same thing now.

it must be tough being a person with TT in nigeria.

I will be going to an holiday party-the party will take place at the Ritz hotel by the Beach. so you see OP, hotel has many use not only for what you had in mind, common.

Sisi_Kill:

Uju haba naa, an appropriate location is a car, yeah because no one has ever had sexxxxx in a car. Oh Oh I know, what about a mosque or church? Now those place for sure sure have not had sexxxx. . .had in them (that English get as e be. . .then again, the whole topic get as e be, so I am in good company) Or the child's daycare center, yep. . . no one has ever cheated with their child in close proximity