Guys, i am a 28 yr old guy dating a 23yr old lady. I am in lagos and she is in Owerri. We have been together 4 3yrd nao. I completed my service in 2011 and ever since av been lookin 4 a job. I have promised marriage to her and but d thing here is am still looking 4 a job almost a year and half after service. I travel to owerri once every 2 months to check up on her and most tyms wen am der i either miss an interview or a test. She has managed wit me all thru these years. But just last month she said funny things, she started asking me wat i wld do if she was pregnant, or was dating sum1 else. I asked her if she was and she just said she wanted to know. I told her i was sure that wldnt happen because we wernt avin any problems in our r/ship so y wld she want out. Not until a few weeks back that she called me in d morning and asked me how my job search was going and if i had gotten a job. I am sure my answers were not encoraging enuf then she dropped the bomb. Said she was dating a guy in owerri, and dat shes in love with him, by d way d guy in question knows mw as her fiance. Even when i am in owerri, she still hangs with d guy till 9, 10pm at nite and i wld call and beg her to come home just 4 me to see her. I mean i left lagos to spend time with u in owerri yet ur busy with anoda guy? Wen i say dat all she says is am givin her a heartache and i was not making her happy. She accused me of alot of tinz which r true anyway, she said i abandon her because of a football match, but then i ALWAYA invite her to join me in seeing those matches but she refuses, she said she hates sport but she joins this guy to a sports club where they play snooker together. She just refuses to go on a fun outing with me but enjoys it wit dis oda guy. Wen i complained she said he is just a good friend, i mean i cld b with her in an eatery and dis guy wld call 4 close to 15minutes and she wldnt say sorry. I dont av a job yet, but i will get a job soon by His Grace. I have denied myself certain pleasures of life just to support her needs financially, i have missed potential jobs in lagos because i had to checkup on her, i made her a priority (big mistake) and now shes taking me for a ride. She even tells her new guy all d problems we have. When she promised with her own MOUTH that no 3rd party will be brot into our problems. I call her on d fone, its busy for close to an hour, wen she finally picks she tells me shes tired and dat she wants to sleep. I dont sleep, i dont eat, i cant even focus....i am so demoralised and destabilised....she is now strongly romantically involved with this guy and i mean strongly but she says she hasnt crossed the line yet. But i mean, kissing a guy everyday, isnt that cheating as well? And not just kissing, am sure there wld be loads of body smooching and all that. I asked her, why dint u just give me dat little honour i dont deserve by breaking off with me first b4 engaging this guy...she ignores me. Guys I am so tortured...i cld go and on and on. I have never had any oda girl aside her. I have beeen sooooo committed to his girl that even when shes dead broke i wld send her my last change only 4 her to use d money meant 4 her to buy perfimes for her new guy. I registered a biznes that she runs 4 me in owerri, we deal with nursery/primary schools. Between september and december we made 130k. I only asked her to send me 5k because i felt she needed the money more. Now she says i am uncaring, am not hardworking enuf dats y i dont have a job yet and other evryday problems couples regularly have. Those are my crimes. But i have never let our problems evceed 24hours b4 resolving dem even if i d offended have to say sorry i will. She says she has lost memory of our 3 years togeda. She doesnt remember anything worthy of note, that she loves the guy and wants to leave me. I have begged and begged but the truth is dis girl is toying seriosly with my emotions. I had to go meet her parents and told them wat was happening, they were shocked and said they wld wait 4 her to return and find out from her. But she had told her elder broda dat she wants out and dat it was her decision to make, no one shd force her to make a decision cos she wld live with it 4 d rest of her life. "people do change", she says. I am perplexed because i totally dont get it. I love this girl so much, shd i let her go or shd i keep fyting to win her back?

Lad, u knw what is good 4 u? Keep ur head up, face d challenges of joblessness 4 nw, gonna are those days when ladies are ready to suffer wit guys, in another word, the ladies of today are nt as captivating n tolerant as the divas of d past. If get a job, which l believe is on d way, they will surely come ur way uninvited.

Break up with her and give yourself peace bro

let go bro, u have ur life to live, if she is meant to b ur wife, she wldn't treat u dis way, imagine u get married to her n tins get tough, that means she would still leave u, its better she leaves u now dan later, she will someday regret and realise her lost but by then it will be too late.
guy u don try reach, there r still some ladies that would value n respect u and truly love u 4 who u r

What else do you want her to do b4 u get the 'memo'? To pour boiling water on you when next u visit?...dude,be a man,forget her and move on.btw,continue working/searching to make cash.Money prevents a lot of negativities.

Sorry guy, get sm money.

OP, so deep and provocative, your message come across as something many guys have experienced at on point of their life.

I will advice that you let her go. You cant really blame her much and I wont. She is probably influenced by people around her. Trust me, her friends and family members could have been asking her what are you doing with a jobless guy when someone else is available, do you know if he could be dating another girl over there and fooling you here ,etc? Bro, ladies are very good at poisoning another's heart when it comes to things like this. But sway that aside.

Bro, never put a woman as your number priority in getting a means of making a better tomorrow for yourself. I am a fresh grad and waiting for my NYSC already but I dont put a woman as a priority. What you need now is money, consistent money and that should be your focus.

To get a job in Nigeria is not easy but I can tell you that networking is the best way to go in a country like this. connect with people that are connected and please, do not throw away jobs that are hardly available.

You are not the first to go through this neither will you be the last. Long distance relationship, as far as I know, has never worked. When a woman wants to make her decision, she does not care about your sorry a55.

As she said, people do change.Bear that in mind too that change is the only constant thing in life.

Look, this is Nigeria and you have to start acting like one. The only language most this girls understand is MONEY. If you go the cash, they will come in drove and will want to tear you apart.I was on chat with a friend last night. He told me that in 2010, he was asking a girl out, she refused and even insulted him. Well by 2012 he exploded and guess what? He bought a BB touch 1 and the rest is history. He told me that if he wanted her, all he would do is just call her on phone. That is the reality for most this Nigerian girls. Except the very few that are well brought up. I can also give you 2 other instances with different friends of mind.

My ex class mate was dating a girl and it was also a long distance thing but the guy was doing his best to make sure that she close to him. But did that stop her from Fvcking a doctor? NO! But as God will have it, my friend got a job with Exxon Mobil as a permanent staff due to having under gone their training before that time. That was a the girl lost an opportunity. Now my friend can buy any car he want , bran new, build his house if he wants etc .

He had to change his line after the girl became a pest. To get a full gist of this. Google ===>" Nairaland.om: die minute"


Hunt that JOB down that is all that really matter--yourself and future. Networking is what I am applying to my approach and from what I am seeing, by God's grace, I may not finish my NYSC before getting a job.

Let her go. Period!

one of many disadvantages of long distance reletionship.

check it here


https://www.nairaland.com/811854/die-minute

Here is another one from a friend on Nairaland

https://www.nairaland.com/806457/shes-killing-me

Another

https://www.nairaland.com/803617/caught-cheating-day-marriage-proposal

This is not to say that women are bad... but just want you to know that some else have also experienced what you are going through now and they have moved on. That's why you should be brave enough to move on.

First go get a job, start making some money then you can at least keep a lady.
no finance no romance.

::Andrew:::
First go get a job, start making some money then you can at least keep a lady.
no finance no romance.

True...!

Guy,i culdnt read al ur epistle cos i bcame annoyd at a point..ao culd u mis job interviews cos of a gal?..gosh,ur parents musnt hear dis..i lyk al wat d gal did to u,she sees u av no future ambition..i'l advise u face ur lyf 1st,and al dis tinz shal b added onto u.

olumaxi: Guy,i culdnt read al ur epistle cos i bcame annoyd at a point..ao culd u mis job interviews cos of a gal?..gosh,ur parents musnt hear dis..i lyk al wat d gal did to u,she sees u av no future ambition..i'l advise u face ur lyf 1st,and al dis tinz shal b added onto u.

Gbam! and let me add that , women run after successful men while successful men run after money... that is it! Get you priorities right

get a job, and if u cant leave her jare, imagine u get a job today and in 19 yrs time u lose it, and ur married to dis kin gal, guy run, wen u hammer go look for anoda gal

I can't even make a snarky remark cos I totally relate to your situation.... Be strong brother. You know what to do..... Take the difficult, honorable decision for the sake of your pride.. You'll be happier in future.


.... All you NL babes, una dey see wetin una fellow witch dey do so?!

You can never lose a girl chasing money but you can lose money chasing a girl.Get your priorities right bro. Go get a job, make money. This should serve as an inspiration to succeed in life. Never forget this life lesson you have just been taught. I wish you well.
For some reason, this story is touching me deeply.

yuzedo:
witch ?!

You got a problem with us?

Be kiafu, some ppl arent what they seem. Spirits, witches, etc are on NL.

Ileke-IdI:


You got a problem with us?

Be kiafu, some ppl arent what they seem. Spirits, witches, etc are on NL.

Ileke, I suspect you and those your spiritually-fortified waist-beads that suck men's destinies!
I know they increase your nyashing prowess.. sooooo, wuz yo numba?

*lolz*



*winks*

Ileke, don't play with me, I'm serious! I've been begging u for punny now since last year, no show!
Ba mi soro.. I want that waist-bead-clad nyash of yours...

olumaxi: Guy,i culdnt read al ur epistle cos i bcame annoyd at a point..ao culd u mis job interviews cos of a gal?..gosh,ur parents musnt hear dis..i lyk al wat d gal did to u,she sees u av no future ambition..i'l advise u face ur lyf 1st,and al dis tinz shal b added onto u.

jeez, my guy d stroking is too much ooo

ednut1: get a job, and if u cant leave her jare, imagine u get a job today and in 19 yrs time u lose it, and ur married to dis kin gal, guy run, wen u hammer go look for anoda gal

duly noted boss.....

Blah blah blah.....same old s.h,ii.t! Get your priority right. You no get job na woman dey think of!

Go out there and make some money.

Meanwhile, for a yr and half, no job. Why not go back to owerri and handle the business you have over there. Na everybody go work for lagos?

^^^^

^^^ What does that mean? Just curious

dmcdad: ^^^ What does that mean? Just curious

I have just replied you, bro.

2sexy: I have just replied you, bro.

I just did the same...

Dude, you have to pick yourself up and move on with your life. From experience it's so hard to do that but you have to remind yourself everytime that you have just one life to live. It's the way we met the world, a lady will always put up such act. It's the way of the world we can't change it. All you need to do is adapt, get ur ass up. You just have to promise yourself you gonna make it that's the only time you can let the girl know she missed a lot by her impatience.
That your girl is no longer an option cos if she really still had something in stock for you she wouldn't av tried another guy at all. Don't make the mistake, she's gone. Don't spend fortune trying to bring her back

My guy girls don't wait for you to make it now adays, but i will like advice you to go and make your money and girls will surely come to you. Please and please don't let this push you into doing some thing bad as that will distroy you and justify her. Guy let her go cos a broken relationship is better than broken marriage.

@ Poster, although it may be hard for you now but the earlier you disentangle your self from the said girl the better for you. it's obvious she's no longer interested in you. she's even seeing another person and you are still there playing a victim and supporting her with your feeding money. pleas dust your shoes and move, you've tried. you sacrificed so many things but she didn't appreciate or reciprocate. if the one you love doesn't love you back and make you happy then what's the essence of being the relationship? Money is very important but you don't need to kill your self because you haven't got a job. As long as you know what you red and you are trying you best, you'll surely find a good job and i bet you, when she hears or see that things has turn around for good she'll beg to come back.

Man, If you GF is in owerri she be babi oku, Ukwu Nwanyi owerri. Forget her nigga and move on cause another nigga has been yanshing her all this while.