ileobatojo:
Coogar, would you be okay having spitfests with your wife every couple of days?

i only do shagfests.......spitfest is a bit too gross for me. if per chance, my wife turns to a spitting cobra, i wouldn't leave her because of that. i would have to find a lasting solution to her problem: kiss her every minute we are together to ensure she does not have any spittle in her mouth to assault my person.

coogar:
except that i heard through the grapevine you impregnated a fellow nairalander called "omo eko" in 2008/9 circa. however, you could be right - maybe if was a one night stand and not the conventional dating.

it could be true.

davidylan:

Believe me bro, the last time i dated a nigerian woman was 9 yrs ago. With women like jidegirl, i dont believe its been a bad decision.

Good boy I don't roll with guys like you either! For where..... levels na

davidylan:

I doubt he is anywhere close to my circle of influence. As they say, the internet is the greatest leveler.

Back to the thread.

E pain am he wan cry awwwww..... hahahaha circle of influence my bottom .....

na so all you 30-40yrs age range dey yap until you enter here and we slap them with dirty jobs ......

odę gbogbo big boys you wan steal am?....

davidylan:

dont you know that in nigerian culture, asking a woman to grow a spine = seeking divorce? Afterall a man should be able to run roughshod over his family with impunity.

Imagine. And this man too will proudly call himself the head of the home.

jidegirl12:
na so all you 30-40yrs age range dey yap until you enter here and we slap them with dirty jobs ......

odę gbogbo big boys you wan steal am?....

ok now. Abi what can we say to these things. Barack Obama began his ascent to power with a "dirty job".

I always say there is a reason a lot of nairalanders shy away from meet-ups. Some of us would be totally shocked.

***sniggers***

"...I don't hang out with blacks..."

Now that is the most myopic, dumbest, inferiority complex laden statement of the year! Uttered by a black for that matter.

What's so special about non-blacks if I may ask?

ileobatojo:
In front of your two kids no less?

we would start doing the spitfest behind our kids.

And by the way, it is not the first sign of trouble. She has already tried multiple avenues to try to resolve it over a couple of years.

it's the same trouble they have refused to fix.

davidylan:
it could be true.

busted!

Efemena_xy: ***sniggers***
"...I don't hang out with blacks..."
Now that is the most myopic, dumbest, inferiority complex laden statement of the year! Uttered by a [b]black[/b]for that matter.
What's so special about non-blacks if I may ask?

don't pretend, efe
i am sure there are some aspects of the black people you detest too. scenario 1 - you call your bank and a man with nigerian accent introduces himself as "wale adebayo" picks up the phone and asks you to supply your personal info including your date of birth and password, what would you do?

coogar:

i only do shagfests.......spitfest is a bit too gross for me. if per chance, my wife turns to a spitting cobra, i wouldn't leave her because of that. i would have to find a lasting solution to her problem: kiss her every minute we are together to ensure she does not have any spittle in her mouth to assault my person.

Sh'o tan! Meanwhile you are advising the OP to do spitfests. Go and sit down jo. Naughty boy!!

OP,first of all I have to say I kind of feel sad that a woman like me is going through this.Its just unacceptable and its good you are speaking up.

Just so you know,no relationship is devoid of its own challenges,but the most important thing is getting the right help and at the right time.God forbid me to tell you to consider divorce,not because I belong to the school of thought advocating enduring marriage but because you are in a better position to decide what's best for you and when the time is right at that.

Let me ask you a question,this husband of yours,has he ever attempted to hit you?If the answer is yes,you need to be very careful and seek help asap.If your answer is no you also need to be extra careful because violent people will tend to get to that point(first it starts with destroying items and trust me that stage of hitting others will come) because at that point when all such a person knows is blind fury,anything can happen and it will be blamed on the devil,that will never be your portion.

Let me tell you,forget about reporting him to church,friends and the likes.Get your parents and his to meet,except of course it was marriage of "no-choice" if not,if it indeed happened that they asked for your hand in marriage,please,ejo,biko ensure your parents tell his entire family that NEVER again must it happen.In this case,the two families are the parties concerned,serious family meeting must be held abeg.

I bet your husband didn't know that now,abuse,assult or domestic violence(whichever one) once reported is now regarded as a very serious offence purnishable by jail term.If you had ever called the police when he was throwing any of his tantrums,trust me he would never ever try it again,the next time,he feels like it,he would pick up his car keys and just go for a long drive to douse his temper (I know this because it happened to my cousin's friend here in London,infact the wife regretted calling the police because the guy was only allowed to speak to a lawyer,he escaped jail by grace,the wife begged and begged that she wanted her husband back and all sorts,infact she was asked if she would like a restraining order placed on the guy,if she wanted to be re-housed etc.and according to the couple it was just a little spat gone out of hand but he's NEVER abused his wife again since then,anytime they think WWE is about to occur,someone leaves the house asap LOL).
Again,this will never be your portion but just a heads up you need to seek help asap.

Then about your personal wellbeing,I think you need to speak to your GP.You might not necessarily tell them you are having marital issues because,they will keep suggesting you might be battling with depression(typical of them) and try to get you on some anti-depressants.Just talk to them and see if they can get you referred to support groups where you can get neutral,friendly advice and support,meet with people,build a network outside of your comfort zone which will help you boost your self esteem and morale.I purposely did not mention church because I know they way people are here,you tell someone about your issue and you can be sure sister something is indirectly making reference to it.

Asides that,if you don't work presently,please try to get a job,if there is anything a woman needs financial independence is one of it.You might not realise it but it goes a long way in a relationship.No matter how little,you know you are earning something for yourself and not depending totally on your hubby.

Lastly,don't forget that family meeting,its important,at least his parents will be able to talk some sense into him and make him realise the potential dangers he is embracing with his volcanic acts of eruption.

My sister it is well.
Thank you for reading my epistle too

dayokanu: Since you all dont hang out with blacks who would now be my friend?

Baby mama would you be my friend?

D one..... I like blacks .... or you wan Divorce our friendship ?

ileobatojo:

Imagine. And this man too will proudly call himself the head of the home.

Do you blame him? this is the norm in so many nigerian homes its sickening. When boys are raised with fathers who show them that it is ok to abuse your wife however you wish, when they are raised by mothers who teach them that you should take abuse in silence... when they end up with wives who would rather suffer in silence than go through the ignominy of being single.

Believe me, there are MANY who have no business being married. 80% of the threads in this section is proof that the book "marriage for dummies" would not be a bad idea.

ileobatojo:

Really? Show me where I advocated divorce please.

Ok. Sorry. 'temporal seperation'.

Instead of dis beating abt d bush we are all doing, can we all state in clear terms what we think is d way forward 4 d Op.?
Give Ur concrete advise pls...

P.S: B4 we confuse d Op, ourselves and every other person viewing dis thread!!

Efemena_xy: ***sniggers***

"...I don't hang out with blacks..."

Now that is the most myopic, dumbest, inferiority complex laden statement of the year! Uttered by a black for that matter.

What's so special about non-blacks if I may ask?

Efe since no one wants to hang out with my black asss, Who would be my friend now?

Efemena_xy: ***sniggers***

"...I don't hang out with blacks..."

Now that is the most myopic, dumbest, inferiority complex laden statement of the year! Uttered by a black for that matter.

What's so special about non-blacks if I may ask?

lol i tire for am o. these are the type who worship the very ground whites walk on. I am still in shock...

jidegirl12:

D one..... I like blacks .... or you wan Divorce our friendship ?

Ok. I feel a little better now

Efemena_xy: ***sniggers***

"...I don't hang out with blacks..."

Now that is the most myopic, dumbest, inferiority complex laden statement of the year! Uttered by a [b]black[/b]for that matter.

What's so special about non-blacks if I may ask?

May the good lord bless you o! Not a clever utterance in the least. Unsurprisingly...

Efemena_xy: ***sniggers***

"...I don't hang out with blacks..."

Now that is the most myopic, dumbest, inferiority complex laden statement of the year! Uttered by a black for that matter.

What's so special about non-blacks if I may ask?

So what's your point Efe? You've got a problem with that? Or you wan join in ? By the way where's my card for voting for you?

ileobatojo:
Sh'o tan! Meanwhile you are advising the OP to do spitfests. Go and sit down jo. Naughty boy!!

i advised the op to do spitfest cos her husband loves spitting. i find the act gross. till this day, i cringe whenever i watch football players spitting after working their lungs off....how much more spitting on another human!!!

Winneygirl:
Ok. Sorry. 'temporal seperation'.
Instead of dis beating abt d bush we are all doing, can we all state in clear terms what we think is d way forward 4 d Op.?
Give Ur concrete advise pls...

P.S: B4 we confuse d Op, ourselves and every other person viewing dis thread!!

the op has been advised already.
the choice is hers.....she either joins her husband in the spitting game or find other ways to prevent recurrence. divorce is the last option.....it's a very simple problem.

dayokanu:

Efe since no one wants to hang out with my black asss, Who would be my friend now?

It would be childish of me to judge a person based on their skin colour.

What matters is what lies underneath. You know, stuff like your personality, WHO YOU REALLY ARE, your likes & dislikes, what we have in common and all that...

But why d'you ask anyway? I thought we were e-friends??

OP,

Load your mouth with the most pungent smelling liquid you can ever find and wake him up and spit all over him. Then burst into incredible laughter that it feels like you are performing MouthAction on him

dayokanu: OP,

Load your mouth with the most pungent smelling liquid you can ever find and wake him up and spit all over him. Then burst into incredible laughter that it feels like you are performing MouthAction on him

that would work i guess.

jidegirl12:

So what's your point Efe?

What do you think my point is?

jidegirl12: You've got a problem with that? Or you wan join in ?

As a matter of fact, I do have a problem with such utterances. It reeks of falseness. You wanna know why?

For a person who claims to be "too much" to hang out with their race...(by the way, I call such people sell-outs)...what the hell are they doing on Nairaland then? Abi nor be blacks full ground for this forum?

jidegirl12: By the way where's my card for voting for you?

My dear, just chill. I actually got a couple of those and was going to create a thread on the Literature section for that. Just decided to stop by at the Family section first, till I found you in the "thick" of things (as usual). Methinks you didn't even miss moi sef! See as you just dey carry dey go...

Oh, and thanks for voting for me jor

coogar:

i advised the op to do spitfest cos her husband loves spitting. i find the act gross. till this day, i cringe whenever i watch football players spitting after working their lungs off....how much more spitting on another human!!!

You see yourself?! Can you see how much of a trouble maker you are? Imagine visiting their home one day when the spitfest begins?

Btw, I'm the same way too, I totally cringe when footballers on tv spit. I can't stand seeing people spit, hate seeing spit on the floor. I can't deal with anyone's spit but my baby's own; and only when he's a baby! I can deal with poop, I can deal with urine, but saliva!! No no no!! Totally disgusted by it. So there's no way this would have gone on more than once or twice in my home. Mba!

coogar:

don't pretend, efe
i am sure there are some aspects of the black people you detest too. scenario 1 - you call your bank and a man with nigerian accent introduces himself as "wale adebayo" picks up the phone and asks you to supply your personal info including your date of birth and password, what would you do?

~ As long as I made that call and not the other way round, then no wahala

~ Nigerian employees in British banks is nothing new, neither is it a big deal

But come to think of it, I think I like you better Coogar, ever since I found out that you aren't black.

ileobatojo:
You see yourself?! Can you see how much of a trouble maker you are? Imagine visiting their home one day when the spitfest begins?

it's not something they would do in the presence of their visitors. husband obviously finds spitting orgasmic so it's almost like sex to him.

Btw, I'm the same way too, I totally cringe when footballers on tv spit. I can't stand seeing people spit, hate seeing spit on the floor. I can't deal with anyone's spit but my baby's own; and only when he's a baby! I can deal with poop, I can deal with urine, but saliva!! No no no!! Totally disgusted by it. So there's no way this would have gone on more than once or twice in my home. Mba!

you see yourself?
the op has endured it for 2 years - it simply means she doesn't find it as gross like we do. we all have different thresholds to these cringeworthy acts. as far as spitting in concerned, the op's threshold is way higher than yours so it would be misguided to advise her based on your own reaction to spitting.

Efemena_xy:
~ As long as I made that call and not the other way round, then no wahala

na lie jor!
until i speak to a caucasian, i would keep hanging up and redialling. you would reel out your bank details to a nigerian customer care officer? i laugh in efemena.

~ Nigerian employees in British banks is nothing new, neither is it a big deal

of course it's nothing new - it depends on what role they play in the banks. personally, i wouldn't want any contact with any nigerian where personal banking details would be exchanged.

But come to think of it, I think I like you better Coogar, ever since I found out that you aren't black.

i don't doubt that. my white butt attracts black women.

Efe.... It's hubby not me and can't change his mind on that.... has his reasons don't you think..... he's a grown a ss adult as can make his own decisions .... there are some things to just leave alone when it comes to marriage .... he doesn't do Naija sites either so you know ....

Kay! as per the card I hear you ..... I missed you na but you don't seem to I thot..... I inherited 'I can defend myself' skills from una now so wetin ....

coogar:

the op has endured it for 2 years - it simply means she doesn't find it as gross like we do. we all have different thresholds to these cringeworthy acts. as far as spitting in concerned, the op's threshold is way higher than yours so it would be misguided to advise her based on your own reaction to spitting.

Isn't it clear she has reached her threshold now? Abi how many more ways do you want her to say it?

This thread reeks of saliva...

I'm out abeg. My tolerance level for spittle is very, very low...

baby_mama:

There is another man in Nigeria,a one time politician married to a friend of a friend
He not only beats her up but he urinates on her while she is wriggling in pain from his beatings

Wow! Apparently, there are many levels of psycho! Jesu Christi!

ileobatojo:
Isn't it clear she has reached her threshold now? Abi how many more ways do you want her to say it?

i can bet she would be happier with a spitting husband than being alone. there are children involved here as well. wouldn't it be a tad selfish to just quit with innocent kids in the middle of this? abeg na, this is not a boyfriend/girlfriend matter. until all the options have been exhausted, a woman must do everything humanly possible to keep her marriage even if it means seeking the services of ileobatojo(africa's most potent witchdoctor).

jidegirl12: Efe.... It's hubby not me and can't change his mind on that.... has his reasons don't you think..... he's a grown a ss adult as can make his own decisions .... there are some things to just leave alone when it comes to marriage .... he doesn't do Naija sites either so you know ....

Efemena and co have tried to skirt around this but i like to shoot straight... your husband is a 2-faced hypocrite and you are not much better. lol he doesnt hang out with blacks and he is married to one?

Lets call a spade a spade... your husband has issues with inferiority complex and OBVIOUSLY doesnt know that many professional black folks and worships the very ground whites walk on. Believe me... whites are no more smarter than you are... i work in positions where i have to lead professional teams with whites (most with second and third grad degrees) and have never thought of myself as inferior in any way. If he cant hang out with black doctors or engineers then i wonder.

coogar:

i can bet she would be happier with a spitting husband than being alone. there are children involved here as well. wouldn't it be a tad selfish to just quit with innocent kids in the middle of this? abeg na, this is not a boyfriend/girlfriend matter. until all the options have been exhausted, a woman must do everything humanly possible to keep her marriage even if it means seeking the services of ileobatojo(africa's most potent witchdoctor).

Oh please. This is a well-worn lie. Some women would be far happier alone than being with men who treat them no better than the scum on the soles of their shoes.