tpia:

is it just me, or is it always the same set of guys following hotfunmi around?

make una talk true o. All this I am fighting I am fighting- na so so emotion o.

oyb: hmmm. Men emotion no dey stable like that o- na pendulum wey fit swing from one extreme to another anytime.  Trust me.

[s]I just dey feel for that fine boy wey dey ya profile[/s]

Hot.Funmi:


I am now too cheap? expensive perfumes and chocolates, I can afford, what I literally need from a man is little little things that will please me. Funmi is not material crazy.

Hot.Funmi:

_{Funmi shakes head}, Nigerian men and their ego! How did you decipher my undertone? I think what you are feeling is your greatest fear: "women always want to command us".

Hot.Funmi:


I am now too cheap? expensive perfumes and chocolates, I can afford, what I literally need from a man is little little things that will please me. Funmi is not material crazy.

By Tpia,
is it just me, or is it always the same set of guys following hotfunmi around?

make una talk true o. All this I am fighting I am fighting- na so so emotion o.

oyb: hmmm. Men emotion no dey stable like that o- na pendulum wey fit swing from one extreme to another anytime. Trust me.

I just dey feel for that fine boy wey dey ya profile

Personally I cook, wash, clean, take care of my lovely son with passion and my wife do tell me that she find's me sexy when ever am cooking. And on several occasion I visited my boss house a man with €350ml euro worth of personal assets he sometimes wash the glass he used in drinking wine without calling for help, and that never made him inferior before his wife. and assuming that I happen to stay with any black I'll do so regardless of skin and culture cause it's how I'm.
When you give respect to who value it, you get passon doing it all over again.
I'll appreciate if our sisters do open up a little bit and stop living like a slave to men,
we naija men are not hearthless but mistaking our homely and kindness to weakness and cowardliness here we get problems, and I think that's why when with oyibo we do it with passion.

Hot.Funmi:


So you wash undies too ? Why can't you cook? You can learn it if you want to.

nwando:

oh Ozioma na true you get wife,oyibo wife plus pikin.
Hmmmmmmm
bless you.
why then were you salivating on reloaded's mount kilimajaros

My sister,if underwear washing was the problem with our Naija men then we have no problem.
You and I live here in America and I'm sure you must know or are friends with some divorced ladies.

The stories would make a single lady swear off Nigerian men.

Shall we start with the cab drivers married to women that eventually become nurses and inferiority complex sets in
or the "business men" that don't bring in shishi from year to year and the wife is slaving away at 3 jobs.
OR the ones that'll accuse their wives of cheating while they themselves are running around with little girls.
But come to all this kporakpo gatherings,these men are the loudest and would insist on being identified by their village titles.
The glitter on their chains and the the smell of their colognes can be perceived from across the hall.
And when you see some of them with their wives in the customary "uniforms".you'll be wondering what possesed such a beautiful elegant woman to marry such an uncooked man but suddenly you remember that his only qualification was living in America

Of course I'm not describing all Nigerian men in America but there are many of them that are a big disgrace and their families back home have no clue
that the mansion built in Mbano was from the wife's sweat and suffering.
Of course they'll never disclose that the wife is the one really working.
some of our men here need a real kick in the groins

almondjoy:

Like they do for the other "races"! Yes! Supported. I know it is a 2-way street. The guys just need to try harder since women have done that since time immemorial! The Nigerian guys do not even think not to try at all. That is the problem.

Hot.Funmi:

On the issue of nurses in America, I may disagree here because in as much as they claim they make big money, they may not be making more than their cab driver husbands. We women have a big mouth especially when we contribute to household expenditure. I know what I make right now as a pharmacist and there is no much difference with what I made as a truck driver. So, If my husband is driving a truck in America, one can easily conclude that I am the chief bread winner because of my profession and you know that nurses make way less than pharmacists here. A nurse that works 16hr/day x 6 days/wk may end up making 100-120K/PA (MAX)and face IRS with their arm and leg taxes. A cab driver that works at the same rate will not make less either.

A friend of mine who's a physician told me that her husband is a car sales man and makes more than twice her salary( he makes about 350K/PA) while my friend make about 130K/PA. So, you see.

[b]I am against those men that stay home doing nothing while expecting their wives to labour around to feed them and some even go ahead to use the money she makes on their secret wives in Nigeria. But, America has dignity in labour unlike Nigeria and we women shouldn't be biting our husband's or boyfriends because they are not nurses or doctors even if we make more than them. I know a relation here that went to nursing school on her fiancees bank account, she never worked for a day, graduated and got married to him. After a while, she's all over him calling him names and now they are divorced. She took their kids away and threatened to throw him in jail if he miss a single child support. I may be a defender of women, womanist etc but acts like that from a relation is way off the hook. If we clamour for our Naija men to respect and nurture us, we should also give something back. Don't use people to get to where you are because you'll pay for it someday. I know my cousin will one day face the music.[/b]

Hot.Funmi:

On the issue of nurses in America, I may disagree here because in as much as they claim they make big money, they may not be making more than their cab driver husbands.

We women have a big mouth especially when we contribute to household expenditure. I know what I make right now as a pharmacist and there is no much difference with what I made as a truck driver. So, If my husband is driving a truck in America, one can easily conclude that I am the chief bread winner because of my profession and you know that nurses make way less than pharmacists here. A[b] nurse that works 16hr/day x 6 days/wk may end up making 100-120K/PA (MAX)and face IRS with their arm and leg taxes. A cab driver that works at the same rate will not make less either.[/b]

A friend of mine who's a physician told me that her husband is a car sales man and makes more than twice her salary( he makes about 350K/PA) while my friend make about 130K/PA. So, you see.

I am against those men that stay home doing nothing while expecting their wives to labour around to feed them and some even go ahead to use the money she makes on their secret wives in Nigeria. But, America has dignity in labour unlike Nigeria and we women shouldn't be biting our husband's or boyfriends because they are not nurses or doctors even if we make more than them.

I know a relation here that went to nursing school on her fiancees bank account, she never worked for a day, graduated and got married to him. After a while, she's all over him calling him names and now they are divorced. She took their kids away and threatened to throw him in jail if he miss a single child support.

I may be a defender of women, womanist etc but acts like that from a relation is way off the hook. If we clamour for our Naija men to respect and nurture us, we should also give something back. Don't use people to get to where you are because you'll pay for it someday. I know my cousin will one day face the music.

nwando:

hotfunmi we are not saying anything different.
everyone in America knows the nigerian nurses work like Jackie to earn whatever they do.[/b]How many people in their right minds would agree to work an 80-96hr work week.
[b]Only Nigerians and some other immigrants do.
They'll pick up oyibo peoples time sef
most don't even spend holidays in their own beds.


and the primary reason our women work this way is because the husband is not doing so good financially or they're living above their means.
again this does not describe all naija men,speaking from my personal experience

I was happy reading the highlighted part from you.
at least now oyb knows your're not a man hater like you initially appeared to be.[/b]please keep up the new you.

[b]I love our men,I will never put all our men down.
because we have great men and lovers amongst them.
I've had absolutely no bad experiences with naija men

but I've had divorced friends with horror stories,one in particular sought refuge in my house for a few weeks.

nwando:

Almond,if you hear what our Nigerian men do for these women.
It's highly uncommom to come to visit a Nigerian couple and the man is the one running around serving the guests.
but come to these Nigerians married to Americans.

One we went to see was wearing an apron
I mean it
we wore an apron like Emeril Lagasse and was serving us fish peppersoup as appetizers,cheerfully.

Now which Nigerian woman wouldn't like a helper husband ?
I ask my man to help.
and it's usually manly things like cutting hen and sawing stockfish.
I don't mind it,he scrubs his shower LOL
(I'm a bathtub/jacuzzi person)

and I know he will not cook peppersoup,bake or wear an apron,

that day may never come ROFL

but our Nigerian men will gladly bake and cook for oyinbo

almondjoy:

Especially the kpali finding ones. Laff wan kill me oooooooooooooh! Apron ke?

Don't worry--train am well, he will learn to cook peppersoup. I could not eat Mr. Almond's food for the first 2 years. I'm no even sabi wash meat! Now he cooks moin moin and pepper soup like an "Iya Nuru"! Now, we are working on jollof rice. One thing I cannot trust him with is eggs. This man thinks an idea of eggs na to put snails and bushmeat inside as part of the omelettes of course. If you don't watch him--he will put cowleg and chcken wings inside the omelette, Gosh, I hate sardines--he loves them!

But I am grateful he enters the kitchen. Because I have cooked so much I hate it now. It is a relief to have help He will even broadcast to his friends that he has kitchen duties. Look it took like 5 years to drag him into the kictchen. But he gradually loved it. I had to give him a lot of stuff to bribe him into the kitchen--both cash and kind. Spoil him rotten too. Cooks the best egusi and okro soup! So all na hard work and communication. This guy even relaxes ma hair--So it is how you communicate. Because I give him what he wants too.

So, ladies if you want your Nigerian men to treat you like they treat the other races, treat them like the other races treat them.

_{Suck it up!}

In other words--pamper them. It goes both ways!

@hotfunmi
What do you say? You must agree too that our Nigerian ladies slack in that department of the art of "pampering" a guy. I am into manicure and massages. When that dude comes home--I gat his back and front!

Some weekends, if a got the power, foot soak/massages---and pimple lancing on his back! Or we both head to the nails place for foot soak and just yap away to the annoyance of those vietnamese peeps.

So ladies, find out what works to keep that Naija man chained to you! E no hard at all!

Uche2nna:

The only thing consistent about Nairaland is its stark inconsistency


Now Naija men dey do all the coooking and shopping and licking of arses of Oyinbo women. This is according to our Naija gals ooooo. But according to these so called Oyibo and AA women , Naija men are not romantic, they don't cook (which they attributed to our tradition), they don't even know how to make love (Naija men no dey go down south). Now two contrasting stories from two different groups of women.

E be like say tori still dey. I will just stay tuned

Uche2nna:

LMAO

@ Nwando, You are only married to one. There is no way You can pass judgement on the others u are not married to

Nwando, You are happy with your husband (a Naija man) , Almondjoy is also happy with hers (a Naija man, I presume ). We want to hear from the Naija girls that are not happy with their lot

nwando:

BTW,I meant to say he had apron not "we".
LOL.

One thing we have in common is that you're a die hard romantic like myself.
and true,it's so easy to please men,some women don't know that.
It's so easy to have him eat off your palms,the woman just has to know how to get him there.
I know that man would do anything for me.

Mr Nwando works much by nature of his job
He's a pathologist with an active research lab,teaches at a med school has post docs and technicians so I excuse him not cooking, he brings home a sizeable bacon
I know he can cook,I've eaten his food but I don't expect him to cook but he sometimes makes saturday breakfast.
But I know there are some stubborn men out there.
Those are the ones we're referring to @ Uchenna

Uche2nna:

LMAO

@ Nwando, You are only married to one. There is no way You can pass judgement on the others u are not married to


Nwando, You are happy with your husband (a Naija man) , Almondjoy is also happy with hers (a Naija man, I presume ). We want to hear from the Naija girls that are not happy with their lot

rjimid . . . welcome to the world of faceless Nigerian women who are more interested in your passport and cash than your professed love.

nwando:

Uchenna I told you I saw an Igbo man here in America wearing an apron and serving peppersoup in his own home
a man with an african american wife

@ hotfunmi,there's a huge difference between truck drivers and cab drivers in terms of salary.
Truck drivers make more money that many physicians for a fact.
I specifically said cab drivers because many Nigerian men are into it.

spoilt:

@ 4him do you not know how to not generalize?

Uche2nna:

@almondjoy

It is a good thing to hear that You worked for the joy You are experiencing in your marriage. Nothing good comes easy. It does not come easy for any woman, foreign or local. Going through posts of ladies like Simibrazil, Germanlady and a host of others shows that they too worked for their own marriages. On the same hand I believe the men also worked on them. So, if the naija girls think that Naija men are not all that, well guess what, the oyinbo guys are not even perfect. Just keep your ears to the ground and You go also hear stories about them.

And even come to think of it , the ladies that are dogging naija men (at least on Nairaland) are those that are still single and searching

D-reloaded:

yet you cry about women generalising. Osisi and AJ are married yet they too somewhat agree with the topic so what is your point? Your logic just blew up in your face.

By AlmondJoy,
But on the flip side, most Naija men would bend over backwards if they were with other races.