this na fact

I can totally fault ladies that re still single at the age of 30,bt they shud share a larger percentage of the blame.

The Nigerian society has not helped matter.The orientation they get from parents,friends and loved ones abt dating and relationship is inadequate. Those dat got adequate orientation were misled.

It sound somehow when ladies say most men out there re not ready for marriage and that they re only interested I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ their body.There may be some iota of truth I̶̲̥̅̊n̶̲̥̅̊ this,bt d fact that all birds can fly doesn't mean they ve equal feathers.there re men who re ready,they jst want to find U̶̲̥̅̊ in the right place and with d right character.

U̶̲̥̅̊ carry ur shoulders up,find it hard to stoop,drag pencil jeans with under 20,full of ursef n U̶̲̥̅̊ re blaming sm1 4 ur being single at 30,re U̶̲̥̅̊ a learner? At 30,its nt too late if u can right d wrong.

lastpage: She finished SS3 when she was 18yrs

Due to "incomplete Result and Jamb wahala", she eventually gained University admission when she was 20years. Not bad.

Student Riot, Lecturer's Riot (Senior and junior Staff Union of ASUUU ) all extended her school calendar by 2yrs, over a six year period.
By the time she graduated, she was 26years!

Then the school did not compile result on time and she could not go with "batch A", so she wasted another six months and went for NYSC batch C!
by the time she finished NYSC, she was clocking 28years!

Being the eldest in her house, she cant just ignore her siblings, so she promised to look for work so she can help out a little.....and you know, job scouting in Nigeria is man-know-man, even with a good grade (over supply of Graduates without adequate industrial and infrastructural base). The jobs are just not many anymore

So she was 30years by the time she eventually landed that one-man business that pays her a miserly 45K monthly!

To compound the matter, the man she wanted to marry, her lover-boy from Jambito-days has vowed that he would not marry unless he lands a good job that can cater for his family (wife and children to come) and even then, he is not the type to look up to his spouse for "handouts".
Good man, thats why they call you "man of the house".

Well, his own job was not forthcoming that quickly and "his sweetheart" is clocking 32yrs now!

Wetin make she do? marry herself or what? What has she done wrong, please tell me?

All l am trying to say is that, the fact that a lady is 30+ yrs and not married, does not mean she is aiming too high or is digging for Gold or still playing around (l know some do ) but by constantly nagging her or staying on her neck and reminding her of that "Biological Clock", you're probably doing her more harm than good.

Dont forget we live in a society where everybody is O.Y.O (on your own) and you have to look properly before you dive! ...less you land on a hard rock!

if it were "abroad" (l hate to use this kind of example!), apart from the fact that jobs are being created actively EVERYDAY by their own govt and the "infrastructures" are there (stable power, secondary industries, e.t.c) to go into private or self employment, the govt also assists in a way that even non-working peeps can start a small family while they grind-out their job-seeking options.

Again, dont forget that Money (or lack of it) is the root of all evils.
Nothing breaks a family quicker than when the basic things of life are not being met, especially by a man who was not ready for marriage (financially) but had to marry his lady who was clocking 33+ (God forbid! ), when she would not let him rest till they get married.

Summary: Leave them alone, everyone has his/her own time and clock.
Its the end that justifies the means. Our Mothers situation is not the same as the times we are now.

Back then, even as late as 1984, my eldest brother who graduated from Unilag Computer Sc. had three job offers, (RT Briscoe, Leventis, First Bank) all with a brand new Peugeot 504 Saloon car in-tow, begging for his signature, even before going for NYSC (they want him to serve and work with them afterwards)...
... not the current "Dangotte graduate driver scheme" peeps have to be facing now! Dude was riding two "tear-rubber cars" within one year of Graduation (as old man honored his first graduate son with a car as well!) ...and he is just an ordinary Graduate from an ordinary middle-class, working family.

How many Graduates are that fortunate like that since 1999?

Times have CHANGED.

Lastpage!

You ve spoken so well.
There are two things involved why some are still single @ 30+

{1} 25% have lived a very wayward life during their early twenties
{2} 75% Personal issues
- proper packaging
- human relation
- personal standards

Truth be told, if a lady is still 30 nd unmarried, something is wrong somewhere.........
Take time to check yourself
Actually the truth is bitter but the truth is always the truth

betadaz: @OP simple answer: Supply pass demand, yet price refuse to fall... hence continuous rise in stock.

Time for promo! Get 3 for the price of 1...

Lngkm

one of the reasons 'just one of them ooo' is that most of our girls don't wanna settle down with boys/men that have not arrived. Another reason is d effect of modernization.

THey want readymade. They should wait, Jesus is coming soon.

Their MAIN PROBLEM B SAY DE NO WANT SHARE MAN WITH ANY1 OR MAK DEM DE SAY DE NO FIT MARI MAN WEY DON GET WIFY 4 HOUSE ALREADY AND WETIN MOST OF DEM FAIL 2 REALIZ B SAY WOMEM AR LIK WATER,DE AR EVRYWHER MEANING WOMEN AR JST MCH EVN IF ALL D MAN WEY de DIS WORLD MARRY ECH WOMAN,de WIL STIL TRILLIONS OF WOMEN WITHOUT A MAN AND DIS UNMARRIED WOMEN NIDS A MAN 2 bcoz ANODA PROBLEM B SAY NO TYME ON THEIR SIDE.

engrtee: Girls are the cause. They flex life when they are 20 ,date difrent guys önly to wake up in their 30s

I totally agree with u. Worst of it is that virginity is no longer a priority to them.

DDNICE: I totally agree with u. Worst of it is that virginity is no longer a priority to them.

GBAM, yet they want to make you sweat for their stretched and teared 30 yo pu-C

Another Major reason dat is responsible for high level of 30+ single ladies in Nigeria is this - CURSE/ BEING UNLUCKY
I have a friend who's been decent right from teens ,she was always openminded and cheerful amongst other qualities... But the issue is she rarely gets a guy to ask her out...talkless of talking of marriage ...how can such a girl deal with dis fatal issue?

This single mother syndrome is d result of lack of sensitization on d part of parents, society, religious leaders who now tk money for d truth dey fail to preach morality nd fear of God rada dey r majorly interested on preaching prosperity md dese young lady's don't mind wat dey do so long as dey can meet up to societal needs nd d religious leaders don't mind so long as dey reciv tite

Na dem dey du demselves joor..all dey want is a man dat will be performin miracle wit money buh av dey forgoten dat nuffin gud comes easily??wen dem don rust for house dere parent go carry for marriage for dere head

Da gr8tosyn: You all have made good points, but to my best of knowledge, Ladies that fall within these age range deserve no preferential attention and should not be reckon with in their plight because it's weakling that put blames on others for failure. Looking for or waiting for the best? It won't come if you are not make one! Aside from up growing influence from single parent; Greed, Over exposure, pomposity, not God fearing and not following God's will for their life put them in the mess...therefore any lady above 30yrs of age should seek the face of God and change their ways(hypocrisy, pretence and fake life).May God help we men who seriously want and look forward to the better woman to marry.

so automatically there is something wrong with any woman over 30 and women over 30 are hypocrites, pretentious and lead a fake life ? what circle of women are you moving in?

Its quite easy for a lot of men to come out here and spew thrash because in most failed marriages, the woman is mostly at the wrong end, especially in contemporary African societies. In marriages, it's almost as though women are in bondage and here, I am talking the odd 'normal' unions, talkless of an 'ungainly' one. She says something nice, complimentary or friendly about some other man and tongues start wagging, fingers start pointing...she is seen as too cosy or comfy around another man and all hell is let loose!
While, a lot of married men on the other hand, flirt and keep extra-marital affairs on the side and we don't here a thing.

I feel sorry for the women who have, against their heart desires, gone on to marry the 'next available man' when otherwise it would have been safer and saner to stay single.

Bottomline, not everyone will marry; so make the best use of your life as it is!

Naija men are saints and angels..they are talking as if they don't have mothers and sisters.So much bitterness in this thread,and they will still end up with Naija babes,even the ones living outside naija.

I dont mind if a woman wants to marry me because of my wealth,but she must definitely meet my own expectations..who wants to marry a liability anyways.

If she is nice they expect her to put up with cheating,if she is a virgin,she is not experience enof to satisfy me in bed-he now has a concrete reason to cheat.If she cheats all hell breaks loose because she is a woman..for men it is normal.If you marry a poor man you were desperate because of age,and If you marry a rich guy you were desperate because of his wealth,all this wahala na for woman wey from Nigeria-and the useless list goes on and on.

Guys please,this generalization is dangerous,whether we admit or not it's affecting our psych and the way we see naija women,and with this behavior even when you see an angel you may never recognized her-in most cases these complainers almost always end up with the wrong women.

If you want a perfect partner make sure you are one,and if you are one and you were cheated on, move on and stop being bitter-men cheat,women cheat,its a normal thing.the economy is bad,it is a NATURAL THING to look for the best option or partner,its written all over nature,nobody wants to marry someone with no prospect,sorry its painful,but failure has no friend,that's the bitter truth,naija men learn to live with that,its natural.

What about the fact that, there are more women than men in terms of population. How about the fact that economic harshness has made it difficult for men to settle down on time due to their desire to acquire some material possessions before marriage. Some men find it difficult coping with successful career ladies, so they simpy avoid them.The ladies are not just to blame, but the society and some bad men who were wicked to ladies that loved them with their hearts.

Girlz need to be ladies and boiz need to become men.....

luvmijeje: Oops am seeing this late.I said it,most people on NL have been programmed to think one way.So immediately u see less,it means settling for a rich guy.
Fine,money is an important ingredient but is relative as far basic necessities of life is met.
Now,at this stage due to alot of influence,people get marry for the sake of I want to get marry.When I wrote 'less' I mean settling for a guy that is abusive,a wife beater,irresponsible etc.A guy u know u wont settle for if not for the pressure.

dats not wot u mean stop lying

They are the solution to their problems.
Let them be realistic for once.

√Materialism: This is one of the major cause, ladies are after material things, turning who ever comes their way a source of income, no reasonable man will marry such b1tch.

√Unemployment: This also contribute the increase of unmarried ladies, some ladies are too lazy to find some thing reasonable doing instead they cross their legs looking for one man to marry them and which they knew that no man want to marry an idle lady. They forget to get a career first before jumping into marriage. Marriage should NEVER be a priority.

√Date rate of men: Another thing that may bring such situation is those dudes being killed or jailed due to the offense they comitted, by so doing increasing the number of unmarried ladies.

√Christianity: Christianity made us to understand that a man needs one wife only this also contribute because those that would have been married are now single. Remember during the time of our fore fathers, they married many wives but now the case isn't the same.

√Honest: Some ladies aren't honest at all, some don't even have upto 10% if measured in percentage, which is very bad. Too many lies are been told over the cell phone, which I personally hate most.


To men;

Many guys out there aren't trying at all, you have to be someone in life before talking about marriage, don't just marry because others are doing so.
Find something meaningful doing that can atleast put sufficient food on the table.
Work harder if possible, no lady want to marry a poor dude and that is right, I won't advice my sister to marry a poor dude because I know her worth because she has got a career.


God bless us all.

Double post.

sunny t:

Hey dear, who doesnt know wat "LESS" means? Iv neva seen a case wia LESS was used like u claimed, dats y i said u gave us a new definition of "fantasy"

And is dia any living thing who dosnt know d mindset of a typical Nigerian gal? We know wat a gal means when she says she wants a God fearin man.

you are der my broda she dey use defensive mechanism

How many of these ladies are virgin s. If they can find "the right man or men" to sleep with regularly, why can't they find one of them to marry.
This is the result of imbibing wrong cultures.
Many of them will end up marrying Jesus since there will be little or nothing left in "their shop" to attract the right customer again.

Wise+Judge:
What about the fact that, there are more women than men in terms of population. How about the fact that economic harshness has made it difficult for men to settle down on time due to their desire to acquire some material possessions before marriage. Some men find it difficult coping with successful career ladies, so they simpy avoid them.The ladies are not just to blame, but the society and some bad men who were wicked to ladies that loved them with their hearts.

you are talkin rubbbbbish shut up

This problem is only in some part of 9ja not everywhere anyway. In northern 9ja you can only find widows of this age, in Yoruba land they are very few because yoruba woman does not wait for the husband to build the home, they dont mary for wealth. But from Edo to Enugu,....... you can complet my story

9lifes:

Naija men are saints and angels..they are talking as if they don't have mothers and sisters.So much bitterness in this thread,and they will still end up with Naija babes,even the ones living outside naija.

I dont mind if a woman wants to marry me because of my wealth,but she must definitely meet my own expectations..who wants to marry a liability anyways.

If she is nice they expect her to put up with cheating,if she is a virgin,she is not experience enof to satisfy me in bed-he now has a concrete reason to cheat.If she cheats all hell breaks loose because she is a woman..for men it is normal.If you marry a poor man you were desperate because of age,and If you marry a rich guy you were desperate because of his wealth,all this wahala na for woman wey from Nigeria-and the useless list goes on and on.

Guys please,this generalization is dangerous,whether we admit or not it's affecting our psych and the way we see naija women,and with this behavior even when you see an angel you may never recognized her-in most cases these complainers almost always end up with the wrong women.

If you want a perfect partner make sure you are one,and if you are one and you were cheated on, move on and stop being bitter-men cheat,women cheat,its a normal thing.the economy is bad,it is a NATURAL THING to look for the best option or partner,its written all over nature,nobody wants to marry someone with no prospect,sorry its painful,but failure has no friend,that's the bitter truth,naija men learn to live with that,its natural.

dangote

Miss Ope: Another Major reason dat is responsible for high level of 30+ single ladies in Nigeria is this - CURSE/ BEING UNLUCKY
I have a friend who's been decent right from teens ,she was always openminded and cheerful amongst other qualities... But the issue is she rarely gets a guy to ask her out...talkless of talking of marriage ...how can such a girl deal with dis fatal issue?

she av a spiritual husband

My take on this issue of late marriage by ladies has always been this; men became too "cold feeted" when sex became too cheap. You see whether you believe it or pretend its not true, men like sex naturally and can sell a country for half a penny to have it with a lady they really like. But do they have to sell anything now to have it ? NO. Its absolutely free and cheap. Ladies no longer strike a bargain or any deal of " sorry I dnt have sex without marriage". So guys are no longer in a hurry to wed ladies and since they everything married men get from their wives while single. A lady cooks, washes his cloths, cleans his house and sleeps with him and u think he ll be serious with marriage? If a lady want to get a guy serious, let her close her legs.

indecisiveness, greed, lack of self-confidence and many more....

[quote author=seyibrown]Decent men are scarce in Nigeria! The thought of a life with a man who sleeps with anything that moves is enough to put any sensible lady off marriage to them. Majority of Nigerian men have no idea what loving, honouring and respecting their spouse is.

Marriage is wonderful but not compulsory. One does not need to marry someone who would make their life a hell just to save face within society. Many women (and men) are dead today because of the person they married. It is wisdom to wait for a quality partner (and be happy as a single person while waiting); It is folly to rush into marriage and later regret.[/quoteYou dnt Bleep too abi? Well, i wish u Happy waiting

dmcdad:
You are right anywayz... And like someone rightly said, they tend to be more materialistic than realistic... I think that defines why most remain unmarried at such age...

Good point. But i beg to differ slightly. It is a fact that most ladies who are willing to 'marry' (cos not all single ladies desire to get married though majority do)remain singles @ that age because they are materialistic rather than being realistic. Yet,lets not see that as the only reason( thus aportioning all the blame on them). There are good realistic girls @ that age who are yet unmarried. Not because they are materialistic but because they met boys(playerz) who would rather want to see them as a pawn in their 'game of love' as such chop,clean mouth and tell them bye-bye. In this case u see that the blame would not be the girl's. Please lets not always forget some of these materialistic girls and seemingly unfaithful boys are a product of their past experience( especially their first relationship). It is well known that when a good girl goes bad its very difficult to get her back-rehabilitate her to her initial morally upright state. So lets try to recognize the fact that there a series of reasons that could lead to a girl being single @ 30. We pointing fingers 'may' even be the reason why our ex is not yet married @ a ripe age of marriage. All wounds are not physical we also have psychological wounds which even poses more danger than the physical ones in oue lives. I may be wrong, correct me please where necessary.

Nairarealman: Seriously son u need to grow up DANG

You are a person and that would not be too hard for me to prove soon.

There are many 30+ single Nigerian ladies in the UK too I just feel many Nigerian ladies have issues that cause them to remain single at 30 years old. The main cause of this problem is our ladies expecting too much from guys. Many of them are not willing to build wealth from the ground up with their men. Materialism is destroying many Nigerian women. Another factor is that good and responsible men are hard to find nowadays. Nigerian men should also share the blame for using women as they like. However, Nigerian ladies should strive to be morally upright and focused concerned their life and goals. A good lady will find a man that will take care of her if she is also prayerful. Cheers.