Lanceslot: @tex dis ur pidgin get as e dey sound oo.... Anyway u dey try.

I have only been speaking it for a few months. I go learn.

@Flow, madam ifeoma awaits

"Flow where you dey? You dey house?" the caller asked.

"i no dey house, i dey work" my tongue slipped.

"you no tell me say you don dey work na, which work be that?" the caller asked.

"mehn, i dey work part time as Deputy Supervisor for one contruction company oh" I told a lie.

"which company be that?" he was asking too many questions.

"the name of the Company na.................." I was thinking of a befitting name.

"na Chinese company oh" I informed. "ehnnnnn! Wetin be the name of the Chinese company na?" he was curious.

"the name na MI Tupacokpatalico" I figured out a perfect name.

"MI Tupacokpatalico!! Which kin name be that?" he giggled.

"nahim make me first tell you say na Chinese company na" I said.

In such situation, forming a name wasn't difficult for me at all. The "MI" stood for "Madam Ifeoma", and since i told him it was a Chinese name, i thought it would sound Chinese if i combined "Tupaco" and "Kpatalico" to form Tupacokpatalico.

Tupacokpatalico!! A mouthful indeed.

Imagine a stammerer trying to pronounce "Tupacokpatalico", it would take him/her ages to pronounce, he/she might chew his/her tongue in the process.

Talking of "she", i have never seen a "she" stammerer before. If una don see, make una tell me whether she fine or she worwor. Or is stammering a "Male only" thing? because i had seen so many Male stammerers.

Notable amongst the Male stammerers i had seen was Emmanuel. Na una say make i no dey talk tori of wetin happen when i small na, if not, Emmanuel tori for make una laf tayah.


"i no know say Chinese company dey for this Owerri oh" He doubted.

"e dey na, na new Company wey just open" I said.

"okay oh, i just wan tell you say exam timetable don come out, and Phy412 na tomorrow" He informed.

"you mean am!" I was shocked.

"i mean am na, and you know say na only you dey write that one, i no dey write am" He said what i already knew.

"you dey read so?" He asked. "yes i dey read" I answered.

I was reading in Kponkpon Site, with empty Cement sacks as my books and Shovel as my Pen.

"no wahala, that laptop wey you sell for me, i go give you the complete money next week, e get money wey i dey expect" He concluded.

"no wahala, you be my man na" I said.

"okay na, write the exam well oh" Nas advised and hung up.

Of course the exam would be written well, written with the help of Mgbo reminder a.k.a chop and clean mouth.

"Flow why you no fit read your book? Read and you go pass" I know the bookworms amongst you would ask. Well, my answer to you guys would be; "e concern una? Shebi na my toroh".

"toroh" means Business. "shebi na my toroh" interpreted to English is "thats my business".

That was indeed my business. My business to fail Phy412.

God forbid!! If i could pass Phy411, then i would certainly pass Phy412 which was easier. Phy411 was the 411 of Physics.



I saw the call summary that Nas spoke to me for 7minutes. "this boy get money oh, see how many minutes wey him follow me talk" I tot. He had earlier told me he wanted to start Yahoo- yahoo.


I put my phone back into the pocket of my trouser that hung on the wall in the Changing room and went to join others working.

"guys we need to chop this s'hit well well oh" Man stated.

"you and who go chop s'hit?" I said to Man.

"na all of us na" He answered and smiled.

"i no follow una oh, how i go chop s'hit? I be Dog?" I queried.

"Mumu! Chop S'hit na the name wey dem dey call the plastering work wey we go do today" Man informed.

"Chop S'hit! Which kin name be that" I said.

"na the name wey all Kponkpon workers for Nigeria dey call plastering work, abi Igbakwambo no be so?" Man turned to Igbakwambo.

"naso na, na the name na, the s'hit dey dey two type; strong s'hit and soft s'hit" Igbakwambo answered.

"but today own na strong s'hit we go mix" He added.

"which one be strong s'hit again na?" I needed to know for the records.

"that kin s'hit na the s'hit wey you no go put plenty water when you dey mix am" Ochagbuorie answered.

"na strong s'hit Madam Ifeoma say make we mix oh" Man warned.

"where she dey sef?" I asked. "she say she wan enter bank go withdraw money" Brainbox said.


I ate Four bags of s'hit that day.



Brainbox ate Three bags of s'hit, and Ochagbuorie ate Seven bags. Man and Igbakwambo were dressing the s'hit for a more handsome amount.

emma_best2000: Flow I thought you are Igbo ?

Mr Emma_best go back to the page you quoted that from, you will see i said i was mistaking "Obata Ofuo" for another language. Nobody is above mistake.

Welldone Flowey!

Edit this place oga flow. Phy411 was the 411 of Physics.

Always a smile from me Flowey...

Who can say TUPACOKPATALICO 7x without blabbing..? @Flow we bn get one female stammerer like that when I bn de secondary schl sha... Very tall fine gal like that from Ikom in crossRiver state. Infact I jst confrm frm her frnd now now say d babe don marry with a son sef n dat she stl stutters when angry.

Habybullah: Who can say TUPACOKPATALICO 7x without blabbing..? @Flow we bn get one female stammerer like that when I bn de secondary schl sha... Very tall fine gal like that from Ikom in crossRiver state. Infact I jst confrm frm her frnd now now say d babe don marry with a son sef n dat she stl stutters when angry.

I do stammer wen am angry

Alhassanu: Edit this place oga flow. Phy411 was the 411 of Physics.

It wasn't a mistake, I meant "four one one". Meaning Phy411 is what is happening in Physics.

411 means "what is happening".

Thanks for noticing sha.

4kizo: I do stammer wen am angry

You be babe

Flow, me don see babe wey dey stammer ooo. Her own be say, she go close her eyes dey try find the word wey she wan talk. She dey Ok sha, she no worwor she no beautiful. My Guy go say; she's just there..

texanomaly:
I have only been speaking it for a few months. I go learn.

u dey try small small , but u need to put more afford and make sound like waffi pidgin.

Wizee: Flow, me don see babe wey dey stammer ooo. Her own be say, she go close her eyes dey try find the word wey she wan talk. She dey Ok sha, she no worwor she no beautiful. My Guy go say; she's just there..

She is just there!! Shey you go fit marry her?

Flow woman stammerer dey o, there own even worst pass man own self.

hmmmm!!! c as person phone take disappear o!!

fujirice:
You be babe

Am nt gal. Its natural, we gt dis brutal hot temper

4kizo: Am nt gal. Its natural, we gt dis brutal hot temper

How did you toast your current babe? Your English sucks man

Miss_Fibre:

How did you toast your current babe? Your English sucks man

Sorry, but I think you seriously do need help. SMH...
*toast = woo
*current = present
Thank me later.

Miss_Fibre:

How did you toast your current babe? Your English sucks man

Miss_Fibre that was harsh, pls apologize.

Nobody is above mistake. I just discovered that i have been spelling "fool" as "foul" all thanks to Niaraland moderating foul words. And none of una correct me. I don correct am sha.

That goes a long way to show that nobody is above mistake.

Lanceslot: u dey try small small , but u need to put more afford and make sound like waffi pidgin.

I'm here. You could teach me. Maybe you can create a thread called "Teach Tex Pidgin" LOL People could write phrases and interpret them for me. My friends will need to "shine eye", so no one tries to put dirty words in my mouth.
btw: happy birthday

flow1759:

Miss_Fibre that was harsh, pls apologize.

Nobody is above mistake. I just discovered that i have been spelling "fool" as "foul" all thanks to Niaraland moderating foul words. And none of una correct me. I don correct am sha.

That goes a long way to show that nobody is above mistake.

Apology my fair a.r.s.e.... Which apology... Did you see what Donigspain did?

Abeg free me jor...

I can't catch fun again ba....

Floweee, Floweee, Floweee: Make we get 2 updates today...Abeg...(raises hands and looks to the sky) "Make una hear." LOLz

miss fibre, u had a peck in ur eye and den u wan remove frm anoda's eyes. U bit him over a small omission and den u made a greater blunder. C ur life outside. Smh, catchin fun my foot. Correct pipu in a beta way dan insults

texanomaly: Floweee, Floweee, Floweee: Make we get 2 updates today...Abeg...(raises hands and looks to the sky) "Make una hear." LOLz

lols, tex, who u dey refer to as "una" in dat context? Na God or angels?

flow1759:

Miss_Fibre that was harsh, pls apologize.

Nobody is above mistake.I just discovered that i have been spelling "fool" as "foul" all thanks to Niaraland moderating foul words. And none of una correct me. I don correct am sha.

That goes a long way to show that nobody is above mistake.

LMAO@the bolded. I noticed that too,but because I was late to catch up with the thread,I couldn't correct you from the start. Am surprised,all ur followers just come,read,digest,clean mouth and go,without even pointing out one or two mispelt words(I knw I'm guilty of dat,but will try to kip an eye on ur updates.)

opeano: lols, tex, who u dey refer to as "una" in dat context? Na God or angels?

Does it not mean him/her...I refer to Flow...did I get it wrong again...also Flow already update 2x today...maybe he will make it 3
btw: @ opeano: how dey go dey go?

FLOW CARRY DEY GO

texanomaly:

I'm here. You could teach me. Maybe you can create a thread called "Teach Tex Pidgin" LOL People could write phrases and interpret them for me. My friends will need to "shine eye", so no one tries to put dirty words in my mouth.
btw: happy birthday

ok I will try, but I'm a new comer on nairaland, I don't know how to do some things here .... Maybe you should add me on fb let's start there...... Yeaaaaaahh its my birthdayyyy! thank.

Lanceslot: ok I will try, but I'm a new comer on nairaland, I don't know how to do some things here .... Maybe you should add me on fb let's start there...... Yeaaaaaahh its my birthdayyyy! thank.

hahahaha! isn't that what yahoo boyz say? Not accusing you...I'm just sayin' . I do have a question though...If you want to talk to someone outside of NL, how does one do this without giving your info to everyone here?

texanomaly:

Does it not mean him/her...I refer to Flow...did I get it wrong again...also Flow already update 2x today...maybe he will make it 3
btw: @ opeano: how dey go dey go?

"una" means u all. Its a plural pronoun. And d context in which u used it suggests u were prayin to God in d highest. I dey do well o tex, hw dat syd na. U shld b around 2pm. Hw work ?

opeano: "una" means u all. Its a plural pronoun. And d context in which u used it suggests u were prayin to God in d highest. I dey do well o tex, hw dat syd na. U shld b around 2pm. Hw work ?

Actually Texas is Central Time. It is 1pm. I'm a teacher. School is out for the summer. I am home. No school until August.