nosike3: #clapping for you!!! Then stay the f*uck where u are.. Who gives a damn abt ur life there... By the way what do u do in south africa? Sweep the street? Sell fresh fruits? And most importantly... Is you wife 72 years old? Are those kids yours? Do you have HIV? Abeg stay for south africa and don't transfer one of your unseen problems here!! We have enough visible problem!!! Oloshe!!

nosike3: seee person wey dey correct person? If the dude is frustrated,mehn you are frustration!! You just lashed on the poor fellow that just said his opinion... Make ur point and stay clear of people's post!!!

playmode: I have lived in South Africa for close to 13 years but have been planning to return to Nigeria with my family for the past two years. Over the past two years i have sent money home to arrange a place for me and my family to reside in and have done a lot of research to determine what I will do when I get to Nigeria.

All my plans however have been put in disarray with the worsening Political, Infrastructural and Security problems in Nigeria. I just learnt yesterday that there has been close to 10 kidnappings in the lekki axis where i own a property and this just worries me.

Living abroad all these years has definitely "spoilt" me. Now i am used to constant electricity & water, good roads ,clean open market, parks , cheap ADSL internet, advanced security , strong currency , efficient service providers ,quick access to modern technology , world class medical facilities e.t.c All these things makes my life easy and enables me to earn a decent living. My wife is South African just as my kids are and they are also spoiled by the easy life in South Africa.

The recent state of kidnappings in Nigeria has scared my wife who was once eager to move to Nigeria to become reluctant to move. As everyday passes I see the hope of moving to Nigeria with my family fading away. My In laws have even made it clear to me that they do not want their daughter moving permanently to Nigeria because of the kidnapping situation. I have tried defending Nigeria in their presence but everyday news of bombing or kidnapping emanates from Nigeria.

My question to all Nairalanders especially the ones in Nigeria is this :

(A) If you were in my shoes what will you do?

(B) Is it worth it to come back to Nigeria at this time or should I wait a few more years till the security situation get better?

(C) Should I leave my family in South Africa, come back to Nigeria and visit SA once every two months?

Please only serious minded people need reply and please none of that “I am the first to comment” nonsense. This is a thread directed at mature adults with some level of intelligence. Thank you.

Rossikk:

Thanks my brother. I used to live in the US. That remains the only country where I've had a gun pointed at me, and TWICE for that matter. In the USA you'll see small boys walking around, armed with guns. Once, a group of guys burst into my apartment looking for what their father did not put there. Thank goodness I had left the place just 5 minutes earlier. It's by the special grace of God that one is here today typing this stuff.

Compared to these places, Nigeria is very safe... You would be very very unlucky to encounter such nonsense in Naija.

wesley80: @OP, Person wey no read your post well go think say you dey stay for Kensington Palace Gardens in London!
Any of these ring a bell? Marikana mine riots - 32 dead, Worse crime rate in the world, home of Soweto all stars, Rape more common than pure water sachet, ubiquitous male-nyash observers (homo thingz), Wetinnnnnnn no be South Africa again?
Truth SA is years ahead of Nigeria with great infrastructure and much different challenges but plase please please dont regale us with tales of superb everything cos we know that just like our dear Naija, not everything is superb. Dont use your 504 to remind me my Fathers beetle is crap - no be person dey ride Ferarri? Bros abeg park well jare.

nosike3: You weren't able to finish what you were typing.. Why na? Did you run short of mb? Ogbeni stay one place!! He is seeking genuine info indeed!! He is a sick man that got married to his grand mother's mate, got HIV from his adventures with south african whoress and he is about to be deported for fraudulent behaviour!! I knw him very well!! I can't just antagonize the poor man like that!!

Rossikk:

Thanks my brother. I used to live in the US. That remains the only country where I've had a gun pointed at me, and TWICE for that matter. In the USA you'll see small boys walking around, armed with guns. Once, a group of guys burst into my apartment looking for what their father did not put there. Thank goodness I had left the place just 5 minutes earlier. It's by the special grace of God that one is here today typing this stuff.

Compared to these places, Nigeria is very safe... You would be very very unlucky to encounter such nonsense in Naija.

Don Carlos: My guy, some years ago I made up mu mind the hit the exodus flight out of this country but as I was rushing to the airport, the Chinese, Indians, Lebanese, Koreans were rushing in from the airport with a smile. Meanwhile, the resident Americans and Europeans were sitting pretty, and refusing to return to their beautiful countries even when their services were no longer needed. A particular British man cried the day immigration people caught up with him in Lagos and told him his papers are expired and he's got to be repartriated. Then I looked back and returned home to discover what it was I have missed all these while and I never regretted my decision to stay back. Kidnappers, armed robbers no fit pursue me from wetin I don taste.

whitebrown: Firstly, It is very sad the way some people are so eager to swear and curse and insult, even if the poster's question seemed a bit insensitive, is it too much to respectfully reproach and correct? I wonder atimes the age of some contributors on nairaland. @ playmode I also reside in SA and have been for over a decade but I will share my experience with you. From your post, I can infer that you have been absent from Nigeria for far too long, you have lost touch with reality, the longer you stay away from home, the more difficult it is to return, over the decade, I have not ever for a period of 1 yr never visited home atleast thrice, not really visit in the real sense of it but from the onset , I chose a line of business involving trade between the two countries, moving back to Nigeria is not just about packing and finding accommodation and going there to start a business, Nigeria is a country with unique dynamics, definitely easier to do business in, and a great place affordability, SA is like most of the western countries, I do travel very very much and host friends who come down on holiday and we get to sit and talk and I promise you, if you don't leave sentiments and start looking home, you will be so so so lost and behind. First thing you need to do is decide whether you really want to and ready to return home, because if you are all the things you listed are not enough to deter you. Secondly I am not advocating relocating your family suddenly, but your wife needs to make up her mind whether she wants a husband or infrastructures, I believe wherever the mans goes, the wife follows, it's called love and support, lastly from my experience, people build their world and comfort around them in Nigeria, start your business and then you can always buy your comfort, if Nigeria is now growing economically at such a phenomenal pace, what would you be looking for anywhere else, just to finish off, fuel for your car?affordable;food, I mean great food?affordable; cash? We are a cash economy, I.e no credits, no accounts, no lawyers or debt collectors chasing you with phone calls and credit bureaus and blacklisting etc; lastly the most loving and amazing people, my wife comes to Nigeria with or without me and when I hear her talk of Nigerians and calls them 'my people' , it atimes takes me a while to even remember that she isn't Nigerian and she lets me in on what's happening in the social circle in Nigeria including the latest musics LOL, your wife needs to open up and decide!

Rimbaldi:

It is usually best to relocate home alone at first till u get to know how things work here. Ur family can join u if u still want after 6 months to a year.This gives u time to acclimatize with the practices here and provide a soft landing for ur family. U have been away for long and u need a little time to learn about present day Nigeria. Is ur wife white or black? Sometimes the way the western media paints the picture, it makes it look like there's pandemonium here by the second. If south Africans and other nationals are queuing up at our embassies in droves despite the security challenges just to come make a living here, how much more u a son of the soil?

Don Carlos: My guy, some years ago I made up mu mind the hit the exodus flight out of this country but as I was rushing to the airport, the Chinese, Indians, Lebanese, Koreans were rushing in from the airport with a smile. Meanwhile, the resident Americans and Europeans were sitting pretty, and refusing to return to their beautiful countries even when their services were no longer needed. A particular British man cried the day immigration people caught up with him in Lagos and told him his papers are expired and he's got to be repartriated. Then I looked back and returned home to discover what it was I have missed all these while and I never regretted my decision to stay back. Kidnappers, armed robbers no fit pursue me from wetin I don taste.

ndeepurity: No come back, all da people 4 9ja don die, stay more 13 years by den BK boys o don graduate. Aji amu

esanland: Souti and Naija which one is more secure? I have lived in South Africa, that was the only country I have ever live that ole boys put gun in my head, i was so traumatized that it took me months and the special grace of God before I recover from my trauma. I escape death twice, for the years I lived in Naija I never had that experience.

So what are you talking about? whats so special about South Africa where black people live in the shadow of whites? Even the United States is not as secure as Naija. visit South Side of Chicago, visit Detroit, come to East New York of Brooklyn New York etc you go tired brother. Africans/Naija in the disapora should please stop projecting Europe, America, overseas as if is heaven on earth.

The earlier you go home, put your foot somewhere the better. I live outside Naija but I am going back home soon. whether light dey, no road, I dey go home, is a matter of time, things will be settle in Naija. And Nigeria will become the industrial base of Africa in the very near future.

if you want to move to Naija, do it gradually, don't rush your family at home once, you go in there set up business once you are settle you can move your family in. Everything is about planning.

NLG_woodey:

That's because expatriates get more connections and rights more than Nigerians in Nigeria.

whitebrown: @nosike3
Did you not read that the poster said 'his wife' and 'his family'? How do you write such senseless utter rubbish about someone's wife? Even if you are 15 yrs of age, is that the way you have been taught ? Is that how much we respect the women in our society now? You are an embarrassment and disgrace to your society, culture and religion, I really weep for my country . Well you will find your match, certainly you will get married someday and you will know exactly how it feels for your wife to get insulted and washed down by some brainless idiot like you, anyway I doubt if you'll even care because its obvious that whichever jungle you're from, women are used as toothpicks! Just one of those we need to rid our country of and we'd have a better place to live.

Gbawe: @Playmode.



You must do what is best for your children and your wife. Forget yourself. You are a man and can/must 'rough it'. Don't put them in any gamble you want to make. Don't listen to the "Nigeria is paradise" charlatans here. Move back, alone, for a year and see if you can make it work and if the Country meets your expectations. If the move is good and productive then bring your family to join you.

look, let me tell you this for free since not many tell the truth here. The number of families (wife and kids) sent to the UK to be maintained by a husband in Nigeria is increasing frighteningly - especially among the wealthy class who can easily afford to maintain their family in Nigeria yet choose to send them here. I am telling you the truth.

Our political leaders are evil with how they say "Nigeria is safe and fantastic" while they are sending their wives and kids to live abroad as if Nigeria is about to be nuked. Nigerian political family can now even claim St John's wood and Hampstead in London. Through direct and extended association I know at least 20 families with this arrangement. My brother, no long thing. Move back on your own abeg. You are a man. You will be OK. Bring the family if you feel they can be happy and fulfilled. I am telling you this as a husband and father with kids.

Luvlagos: @play mode, since you have said that your wife is looking forward to move & she knows all things Nigerian then your problem is half solved. Please advise if you have family support back home, as your wife & kids will rely on that to settle. You have been out of Nigerian for a long time & things have really changed & they are getting better. I was in Nigeria last year & I had the time of my life, I guess just like going to any country in the world you need to be careful where & who you hang around with, i have travelled to a lot of places but when i advised hubby to let me be, he was worried just like you so when visited Lagos I did everything normal to just show that things aren't as crazy as you have read, we jogged everyday along the highway ( express), even forced hubby to abandon the car & we took a taxi to Oshodi as I wanted to experience the real feel of Lagos, drove to Yaba Market & yes they have malls ( spur, mug & bean, woollies, identity, mango, zara, movies & etc hey they have shoprite too ( I know shoprite is for the low income group in SA but hey it does the trick when you are in Nigeria), electricity was constant too. I wanted to experience Lagos for what it is & I am glad I did & if I listened or took to Heart to what other people were saying on Nairaland regarding Nigeria I would have not enjoyed it or i would have been paranoid, I will say this a lot of Nigerian are not good ambassadors for their country & the media out there is not helping as well, the Nigeria you read about or see on Tv is very different from the real Nigeria.
Wish you you all the best