fellis: I just have one question for the men on this thread saying they believe ingender equality.

bring it on

Can a woman lead a home? Do you believe that women can assume positions of leadership over their husbands in the home?

Why not? It all depends on how she and her husband agree to live their lives. As long as it keeps them together living in peace, who complains? If my wife decides to cook all the time, or if I choose to wash my wife's underwear, whose business is it?

What happens inside a marriage is no one's business except domestic violence and I hope feminists won't want to use their ideology of "freedom" to disrupt peaceful marriages

Thanks for answering. Please try to base your answer on logical arguments and not religious scriptures.

You're welcome
Pls do not hesitate to ask me any questions with regards to this topic.

biolabee:

Sorry I will not respond....

Of course you won't respond, you don't believe women should lead the home yet you claim you to believe in gender equality and you're busy asking what feminists are fighting for.

I.Joan:


You keep giving me different labels...


What rights do you want? ? ? ?

black music needs to be wiped clean of its misogynistic content
sexu.al and physical violence against women need to DROP. the law is there yet the violence persist partially due to a culture that promotes violence against women through music and entertainment.

let's start with that. do you agree or disagree?

fellis:

Okay o, sorry. Let me rephrase the question, do you believe women can be head of the family just like men?

It depends on social, cultural setting. Where I come from and the values I was brought up with, the man is usually the head of the family. There are some men out there for some reasons unknown that don't think they can measure up to the standards of being the head of the family so they allow their partner while some it's 50-50 with the decision making. It all depends on who you're with in that relationship and what kind of values they believe in.

toshmann: bring it on
Why not? It all depends on how she and her husband agree to live their lives. As long as it keeps them together living in peace, who complains? If my wife decides to cook all the time, or if I choose to wash my wife's underwear, whose business is it?
What happens inside a marriage is no one's business except domestic violence and I hope feminists won't want to use their ideology of "freedom" to disrupt peaceful marriages

If your wife leads the home will you let your friends and family know about it?

You're welcome
Pls do not hesitate to ask me any questions with regards to this topic.

Can you bear your wife's name after marriage?

99cent: women aren't stupid. majority of women in USA are actually feminist. at about almost 60%.
an even larger majority are democrats. while the concentration of the anti-feminist women are republican.
this is why when sexist politics get into women issues, women are not so stupid as not to see it. in this case, women voted with their legs. literally!!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XLBKAS_AeBM

Keep switching .from Africa to America. I only hope your next stop is in Saudi Arabia, I beg you don't deceive the women living there they are waiting for you, the only problem is I really don't think men living over there will let you spitting trash the way we did .

fellis:

Of course you won't respond, you don't believe women should lead the home yet you claim you to believe in gender equality and you're busy asking what feminists are fighting for.

If u remember clearly you told me to gerrout...

druid06:
It depends on social, cultural setting. Where I come from and the values I was brought up with, the man is usually the head of the family. There are some men out there for some reasons unknown that don't think they can measure up to the standards of being the head of the family so they allow their partner while some it's 50-50 with the decision making. It all depends on who you're with in that relationship and what kind of values they believe in.

You, druid, can you marry a woman that will lead your house assuming she has better leadership skills than you? Can you bear your wife's name after marriage?

fellis:

So you are saying women can lead their husbands in the house? Good, thanks for answering.
Assuming a woman leads a man in his house do you think the man will be respected by his peers or do you think he will be ridiculed and reffered as an effeminate man for letting his wife lead him? Let's assume the couple lives in Africa.

I am waiting for biola and toshmann to answer before I mention the reason why I asked.

LOL. I am waiting as well. esp since this is the main reason that is being cited for high divorce rates. men unwilling to relinquish power even though many women are contributing just as much or almost just as much financially to the home as the men.
again, like I said, thing are changing with white families. not so much among blacks.

heard many a story of nigerian men especially killing their wives after they come to the USA and the wife gets a job and starts making more money than her husband. the controlling egocentric husband still think he is still in Nigeria and can abuse his wife as he wants

biolabee:

If u remember clearly you told me to gerrout...

[img]http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTd8L21Xb9SseUwHX-aFrzcyqogGX2JSHG63JhgLiH6A0ou3Ek[/img]

fellis:

Yea, so assuming you are the head of your family and you live in Africa will you let your friends and family know that you are the head of the house and you have authority over your spouse? Will you make it public or keep it hidden?



You will bear a compound name but you will still take up his name along with yours, he is not bearing your name. YOU ARE BEARING HIS, compound or not.

You miss the whole concept of marriage!!!
Is it supposed to mean having authority over your spouse? ? ?


I made the choice to bear my husband's name! It's nobody's business... What exactly is the big deal in changing my name?
There is a woman here who has been married for over 20 years and has never changed her surname!!! No one is killing her for it ... but I am gonna bear a compound name because I like it...it's my choice!

CAMEROONPRIDE:

Keep switching .from Africa to America. I only hope your next stop is in Saudi Arabia, I beg you don't deceive the women living there they are waiting for you, the only problem is I really don't think men living over there will let you spitting trash the way we did .

feminism pertains to all women. regardness of color. I focus mostly on blacks (someone here has accused me of focusing on blacks) and now when I include whites, I still get attacked.
abeg go and sit down.
there are black women in America too. I am a black nigerian woman living in America. woman being the keyword
feminism is about women's rights afterall

I will talk about saudi arabia too when I feel like it. feminism is a global issue. scandinavian countries are on top of the world in terms of equal gender rights. nothing is perfect but that is what I am aiming for.
@Joan, I hope this partially also answers ur question when you ask what feminists want.

fellis:

If your wife leads the home will you let your friends and family know about it?

Perhaps you would want me to also tell my friends about the latest style I used with my wife last night huh?

Have u heard of the word privacy? It's between me and my girl, period. Just to make you happy, when I lived with a girl, she personally banned me from entering the kitchen. Bc when I tried to cook . . . . .

Anyway, she cooks, I do the dishes. We don't compete. It's not a fight who is leading. We complement each other. We no de struggle anything.

Can you bear your wife's name after marriage?

No. And that is not discrimination. But remember, there's NO LAW that says a woman must bear her husbands name. The two can meet and decide what name they want to bear. It's just a tradition that says the wife would bear the man's name.

You can agree with your man to bear your name. You don't need to start a movement bc of it.

Next question.

@ fellis


When you learn to be respectful and appreciate dissenting posts and especially be logical
I will take ur kleenex


Remember im the cause for your impending pms and menopause

HahHahaha

99cent:

black music needs to be wiped clean of its misogynistic content
sexu.al and physical violence against women need to DROP. the law is there yet the violence persist partially due to a culture that promotes violence against women through music and entertainment.

let's start with that. do you agree or disagree?

start telling your sisters to stop featuring in those music videos. Don't know for u seems like they don't
care .
Yeaa and entertainment portraying men(black/African) as wives-beater is good right? Your double start will kill you. Why don't you ask your sisters to stop strip teasing ? How about prostitution?

I.Joan:


You miss the whole concept of marriage!!!
Is it supposed to mean having authority over your spouse? ? ?


I made the choice to bear my husband's name! It's nobody's business... What exactly is the big deal in changing my name?
There is a woman here who has been married for over 20 years and has never changed her surname!!! No one is killing her for it ... but I am gonna bear a compound name because I like it...it's my choice!

I had a hard time trying to figure out what the point was also. Women like her grumble that they want 50:50 in the home, now she is asking about a woman having authority over the spouse? Is that the agenda of feminism? Equality or merely switching the balance of authority in the female's favor? Like you said... Latin women do not bear their husband's name, Ghanaian kids bear the mother's name... some American's take compound names... it is all a matter of preference and nothing to do with rights or the lack thereof. But it is hard to convince the dogmatic.

toshmann:

Perhaps you would want me to also tell my friends about the latest style I used with my wife last night huh?

Have u heard of the word privacy? It's between me and my girl, period. Just to make you happy, when I lived with a girl, she personally banned me from entering the kitchen. Bc when I tried to cook . . . . .

Anyway, she cooks, I do the dishes. We don't compete. It's not a fight who is leading. We complement each other. We no de struggle anything.



No. And that is not discrimination. But remember, there's NO LAW that says a woman must bear her husbands name. The two can meet and decide what name they want to bear. It's just a tradition that says the wife would bear the man's name.

You can agree with your man to bear your name. You don't need to start a movement bc of it.

Next question.

Nice one.... seems feminism is all about the right to make ur hubby take your name

Laughable......

You lot should have told us thats what you wanted all this while

I.Joan:


You miss the whole concept of marriage!!!
Is it supposed to mean having authority over your spouse? ? ?

excellent response .
I tire o. Marriage na fight?

I made the choice to bear my husband's name! It's nobody's business... What exactly is the big deal in changing my name?
There is a woman here who has been married for over 20 years and has never changed her surname!!! No one is killing her for it ... but I am gonna bear a compound name because I like it...it's my choice!

E just be like say na me yarn this post.

I like 1000.

99cent:

black music needs to be wiped clean of its misogynistic content
sexu.al and physical violence against women need to DROP. the law is there yet the violence persist partially due to a culture that promotes violence against women through music and entertainment.

let's start with that. do you agree or disagree?

Black music is actually filled with how men love women and appreciate everything about them!

Sexual and Physical violence is actually on the low but their would always be exceptions and THE LAW is there to deal with such!

Example of such culture?

I.Joan:

You miss the whole concept of marriage!!!
Is it supposed to mean having authority over your spouse? ? ?

Where the hell did I say the whole concept of marriage is about having authority over your spouse?

I made the choice to bear my husband's name! It's nobody's business... What exactly is the big deal in changing my name?
There is a woman here who has been married for over 20 years and has never changed her surname!!! No one is killing her for it ... but I am gonna bear a compound name because I like it...it's my choice!

Abeg rest jor! You know very well that women are expected to take up their husband's names after marriage simply because majority of people believe that the default role of leadership in the home should be the husband's.
Many people, Africans especially consider it shameful for a woman to head her family, regardless of whether she has more sense than her husband or whether she has better leadership skills than him.
Attitudes like this is part of what feminists are trying to fight, the belief that women should always be subordinate and inferior to men. Fine there are laws prohibiting gender discrimination but have people's attitudes changed because of those laws? Do you want to tell me that an average African man sees his fellow woman as equally intelligent as he is or deserving of the same opportunities as him?

fellis:

You, druid, can you marry a woman that will lead your house assuming she has better leadership skills than you? Can you bear your wife's name after marriage?

I find it hard to believe there is a woman that has more "leadership" skill than I do except she's a dude (LOL). I was trained to be the head of the family from a very young age as I followed my father's footstep and learned grately from him so I find it hard to believe that there would be a woman with more guardian skills than I do and head the home better than I do except I am an invalid.

I can not take the name of my wife because adopting her name would mean I am adopting her fathers name. I am not getting married into her family, she's the one getting married into mine though if she want's to keep her father's name, I am cool with it so far our children keeps mine.

I.Joan:

but I am gonna bear a compound name because I like it...it's my choice!

that's what a lot of feminists do as well.
it's what I also plan to do.

davidylan:

I had a hard time trying to figure out what the point was also. Women like her grumble that they want 50:50 in the home, now she is asking about a woman having authority over the spouse? Is that the agenda of feminism? Equality or merely switching the balance of authority in the female's favor? Like you said... Latin women do not bear their husband's name, Ghanaian kids bear the mother's name... some American's take compound names... it is all a matter of preference and nothing to do with rights or the lack thereof. But it is hard to convince the dogmatic.

Shut the bleep up.You are more dogmatic and thoughtless in your take on matters on nairaland.

So feminists have already created the instrument which will measure leadership skills? I hail oooo.

And if the instrument shows that the woman is not fit to lead . They will still shout marginalization

99cent:

that's what a lot of feminists do as well.
it's what I also plan to do.

Good to know you hope to marry

fellis:
Do you want to tell me that an average African man sees his fellow woman as equally intelligent as he is or deserving of the same opportunities as him?

And why are you bothered with what an african man or any other man thinks. What matters is what the law says.

Remember that in the US marriage laws favor the women so damn well.

99cent:

that's what a lot of feminists do as well.
it's what I also plan to do.

And is anyone gonna fight you for doing that?NO
So what exactly is modern feminism about?

toshmann:
Perhaps you would want me to also tell my friends about the latest style I used with my wife last night huh?
Have u heard of the word privacy? It's between me and my girl, period. Just to make you happy, when I lived with a girl, she personally banned me from entering the kitchen. Bc when I tried to cook . . . . .
Anyway, she cooks, I do the dishes. We don't compete. It's not a fight who is leading. We complement each other. We no de struggle anything.

Please stop it with the pretending,just stop.
If you are the head of your family you would have absolutely no problems announcing it to your friends and family, screw privacy. If your wife heads your home you know very well that you will never tell anyone because of the shame and ridicule you will face as a result. You will carry thats ecret to the grave

No. And that is not discrimination. But remember, there's NO LAW that says a woman must bear her husbands name.

@bold, Why can't you bear her name?

99cent:

that's what a lot of feminists do as well.
it's what I also plan to do.

There are many non-feminists who bear their father's name or compound names.

druid06:

I find it hard to believe there is a woman that has more "leadership" skill than I do except she's a dude (LOL). I was trained to be the head of the family from a very young age as I followed my father's footstep and learned grately from him so I find it hard to believe that there would be a woman with more guardian skills than I do and head the home better than I do except I am an invalid.

I can not take the name of my wife because adopting her name would mean I am adopting her fathers name. I am not getting married into her family, she's the one getting married into mine though if she want's to keep her father's name, I am cool with it so far our children keeps mine.

this is what people mean when they say that a woman (or black) has beat the odds and risen above. clearly she must have MUCH MORE leadership skill than you if she can be a leader despite the fact that she wasn't given the same opportunity as you were due to the sexist misogynist society.

women are oppressed in society and you yourself have just admitted it. right from a young age, society tells them to take a subordinate position and all their leadership potential is being snuffed out of them.

I don't know how you plan on raising your daughters [if you (will) have any] but if you want to do them a favor, raise them to be leaders.

CAMEROONPRIDE: So feminists have already created the instrument which will measure leadership skills? I hail oooo.

And if the instrument shows that the woman is not fit to lead . They will still shout marginalization

Truth be told feminism struggle must continue. The marginalization by men like toshmann,davidylan etc against single mothers and parenthood is hideous.Tomorrow you will see them in dark corners bedding single helpless mothers.

toshmann:

And why are you bothered with what an african man or any other man thinks. What matters is what the law says.

Remember that in the US marriage laws favor the women so damn well.

If individuals do not have respect for non discriminatory laws then it will affect the way they think and act toward the opposite gender, they could end up disrespecting them because they think they are not good enough or they end up being prejudiced against women one way or another, for instance a man that believes women are inferior to men will most likely choose male employees over female employees when he is seeking staff for his company, thereby placing women at a disadvantaged position.