steve_cantrell:

Even if I'm 1year younger than the OP, I'm sure its too young for her. Besides, I'm not really into all that going to UK stuff. Been there and done that..

Amelian: God never promised that the road would be easy but he promised never to leave nor forsake us.
Life is a competition, let us learn to go easy on ourselves and trust that God is working it all out for good( even if it doesn't make sense now). I know that there's a time for everything but most importantly that IT WILL COME TO PASS., no matter the trial or challenges , yours will come to Pass in due course... And u will be up and strong again to lift up those who maybe down under...
Never lose hope..
YOU DIDN'T CREATE YOURSELF , NOR CHOSE THE PATH YOU WILL LIVE ON EARTH, LET GOD DO HIS WILL.. COS HE KNOWS ALL AND HAS ALREADY MAPPED OUT EACH AND EVERYONE'S PATH INLIFE...
Be patient, your time will come to marry...
Shalom.

coogar:

esere826:

women like travel well, well so that they can post picture in album
I dont think she would mind 1 yr younger if u are ready to settle down

steve_cantrell:

She's still kinda young for that, she's not that desperate yet. Besides, I look even younger than my age. Go 4 it dude.. U d man !!!

esere826:

shooo!!!
which kine plenty advice be this naw

we the male folks have decided to handle matters
and provide practical closure to Chima's desires

Amelian:


U may not need the advise, but there are people out there, who desire and had wish to read this advise.. It doesn't apply to the op alone, but anyone who is worried and unsure of where his or her life is heading to...so don't use your own to block other people from receiving true words.

esere826:

shooo!!!
which kine plenty advice be this naw

we the male folks have decided to handle matters our way
and provide practical closure to Chima's desires

esere826:

Ok ma
by the way, do u have any issues that need practical male solutions?

Tashamania:

Hey, do yourself good and stop playing around with someone's tory.
Didn't you read she doesn't fancy unsettled guys? Yeah, she actually said it.
If you think you are done posting some serious $hit and it is time for jokes, you know the section to visit.

esere826:

Ok ma
by the way, do u have any issues that need practical male solutions?

Amelian:

Thanks for the generous offer.... You are so kind but ... I don't have any issues that requires practical male solutions...

Am more than able through Christ Jesus ..

esere826:

U see,
You've got urself a man there dear

Acidosis: You are only 31, woman... Relax your mind and like you said, you can get your own apartment & make sure you live a decent life.

Giving yourself a matrimonial ultimatum is the surest way to fall in the arms of a barbaric groom.

If you believe in prayers, tender your requests to God and attend religious services, marriage seminars, reasonable events.. Don't go about clubbing else you'll only make a mess of yourself in the hands of small small chop & clean mouth dudes.

Resist every form of pride, now that we all know you travel to u.k everyday with a fat salary.

And make sure you dress well and in a responsible not so flashy way.

and then


invite me for your wedding on the 21st of September, 2013!

esere826:

All this ^^^ my dear is the issue
My guess is that the kind of men she;s looking for
only approach women who let their hair down
when men are finally in through jokes/ease/fun, thats when the ladies shld spring the 'serious' trap


Unsettled guys are the majority (settled single guys are scarce)
many of my smart female friends know ways of ensuring the unsettled guys get settled
and settled with them

Ask ur grand mum to teach u some man sense
(u can also try this classic https://www.nairaland.com/1265198/dwindling-pool-male-lovers-nigeria
it shld teach u a thing or two)

Tashamania:

What you just wrote made no sense and to that effect, I aint wasting my time on you.
You can run along now

esere826:

Except ur a teenager hiding behind that moniker
then u know perfectly well what I am talking about

I trust u'll sneak back to make sense out of it
when u finally mature
*straight face*

Tashamania:

And how old are you, elderly one? That you couldn't comprehend a simple post made by OP.
Go get new clothings for yourself and while you are at it, a luxurious house too. I refuse to settle for unsettled guys too. Get behind me

Happyness_Chima:

Jehovah!! What kind of rest-less married woman are you biko? You said no salary in Nigeria will afford 5 trips to the UK? that shows ur financial level. i have nothing to say but whats so special about this UK that has been biting you this woman since. I even apologized that I want others to understand what I do with my life and how I spend my time so they can advice because its biting u seriously. Flight ticket to London is only 90K. You claim to know everything abt wild girls and their lifestyle. How did you know all these if u were not one of them? I passed out from unijos by the age of 23. I'm not baby for you to boss around online. Is this how you treat your single friends. Show me one woman that has never had a suitor abroad. What have I done to warrant all this insults?

Danfo: @OP,

I have reviewed your initial post and subsequent comments and I think I have an apt response to your statement: but I don't know what I’m doing wrong.

From your comments you gave ample indications, thus I will use extracts from same comments to highlight what you are doing wrong, in my view.

Here we go:

1. I have a good job and travel to the UK often. (Deduction: Pride)

2. All the men that approach me either are unsettled yet or one problem or the other. (Deduction: Pride)

3. Sorry if I offended anyone by mentioning UK. What I meant to explain is I'm always on holidays to London to relax and expand my search for a husband. I work in rotational shifts so when I get 4 weeks off, I like to use it to travel which is like 5-6 times a year. I'm not bragging or showing off. I don't even go for shopping or live lavish when I visit there. Maybe it wasn't worth mentioning so I'm sorry. (Deduction: ….even in apologising for showing pride you convey pride)


4. Jehovah!! What kind of rest-less married woman are you biko? You said no salary in Nigeria will afford 5 trips to the UK? that shows ur financial level. I have nothing to say b[i]ut whats so special about this UK that has been biting you this woman since[/i]. I even apologized that I want others to understand what I do with my life and how I spend my time so they can advice because its biting u seriously. Flight ticket to London is only 90K. You claim to know everything abt wild girls and their lifestyle. How did you know all these if u were not one of them? I passed out from unijos by the age of 23. I'm not baby for you to boss around online. Is this how you treat your single friends? Show me one woman that has never had a suitor abroad. What have I done to warrant all this insults? (Deduction: Your reaction to criticism is self-justification and loss of decorum; Pride is present)

5. Is it wrong that I mentioned UK? I even came back to clarify. She wants to ridicule me for no reason. If I knew how inconsiderate people can be, I won't open a topic like this. (Deduction: your reaction to criticism is self-importance and loss of decorum ; Pride is present)


6. When you meet a man that's not settled, they usually bring their baggage to me and as a single woman I don't think I should be feeding any man. (Deduction: Pride)



My sister, I can deduce from this distance that you are a very independent young lady. Let me even go as far as saying that you are been modest when you say you are employed, I would say you are self- employed. You are worth millions of Naira and you certainly have a large circle of friends at home and abroad. This standard of living has made you become prideful and given you a sense of high expectations in your relationships and quest for a husband.

I can surmise that you have an ideal man in mind, and the ideal man has to be successful, perhaps ‘settled’ like Tyler Perry but definitely not a Spike Lee type because looks is also very important to you. Your social status has made you create an elusive Eldorado (a man in shining armour riding a resplendent white horse). But know those are the stuff fairy tales are made of. An elusive Eldorado only blinds girls, temporarily, to present realities and the result is rancour and wistfulness at age 30+.

I sincerely think that you have this instinct and pride which have made you to build a secure unit/prison around yourself. So you exist in a state of schizophrenia where you are both the guard and the prisoner. And having been lobotomised by these double roles (unreal duality) you no longer have the capacity to leave the prison that you made, or even see it as a prison.

Thus I bring you release today. I bring you release by saying set it free! Set pride loose in the name of Christ Jesus! Damn it, let it go!

You are not in this world to live to no one’s expectations. Stop thinking people expect you to manufacture a perfect man to marry because there is no such. If you are sincere in talking about marriage you cannot be prideful or boastful regardless of your success so far. Your search for a lifetime partner should not be based on material success. Rich people have been known to become poor and vice versa. For marriage you must look for someone who will love you for who you are and not for your money or popularity, and you also must do the same. Presently, your expectation seems too high. Too high that you even went international in the search. Forgive me if I am wrong, but most likely your father was not wealthy when he met your mother, and yet your mother loved him enough to marry him, and look at what they produced, an independent and prosperous lady.

If you find a man with a good heart and love for you, you can build him up if he has nothing of his own, and he in turn can bring you satisfaction and peace, and happiness in ways that money can never do.

I want you to know that if your desire for a man is guided by GOD then the ideal union will arise between you and a worthy man. But if you choose by what dominates you now (materialism); then you might regret it.

Finally, know that all things have their time and from hurry comes harm. So take your time, let prayer, humility, due diligence, and sincerity guide you in your search. Do not disregard any suitor just because they are not ‘settled’, but by means of prayer let GOD reveal the heart and mind of the suitors to you so you can make a creditable shortlist of suitors to work on to find the man for you.

I pray that my words will be meaningful to you.

I close by saying that, I sincerely wish you the best. May GOD hear your prayers and bless you with a good man that will truly be a worthy lifetime companion for you under all circumstances as you journey through earth-life. Amen

babyosisi:

Shebi na husband u dey find eh kwa
He may just be reading so keep it all prettied up Nne
He could be reading
FYI,people have found husbands on nairaland
This year shall not pass you by

Vikin:

Let the lady be Biko!

You dey pray for her, same time laughing at her ....

I see nothing wrong with what she just typed. Yes, she might sound proud to the penniless but not to people like me(the wealthy kind)

babyosisi:

What are you waiting for?
You may be the man she has been waiting for
The story is funny na,somehow
Forgive me
@ the poster,I wish you all the best

Gboliwe:
You are 31 and you still live with your parents