Everyone knows me for being blunt and saying things as they are. Caution: This may hurt.


What were you doing when your age mates were getting married to their suitors at 24-27 yrs. I guess you were busy championing the cause of how independent woman can be and how women dont really need men to be happy on NL. I guess you're enjoying the fruits of that now. You also like to travel up and down to the Uk (really there's no bad in that) but has that gotten you a husband. Even all the pictures of you in fine background you took. Where did it end you up.

Did it get you that man you're looking for? I also smell pride in your post but i will not dwell on that. I'm sure some good men came for u when you where much younger but I'm sure u still said they were "unsettled" forgetting that in life, we settle down as we go. I'm sure some women already have wonderful marriages to some of the men you rejected but you were busy looking for the most "settled" guy. Now that you're over 30, the age where your body begins to show the effects of growing old and the suitors have reduced, you now run to us. What do you want us to do? Do you want us to rewind time to 6 yrs ago when you should have acted with more wisdom? I see women get married everyday fighting for the most "successful" men. The guy that has rich father. They forget that a guy is not his daddy and if he doesnt work hard like his father, the family wealth and his will dwindle. In five years time, trust me, you will be willing to date even a divorced man or a man with kids already. Yes, many men are irresponsible. Yes, many men have no sense. But there's something about getting married and having a baby that makes a man grow up or atleast want to grow up. Keep looking for that "settled" man. I tell you, you will find him in 5 yrs time but he will be already married, or a divorcee or a man with a f.u.c,ked up attitude to life. Any man that is 28 and is not already thinking of marriage except he has financial issues isnt really a sensible man. Many of such men exist. You will find them and they will find you too because in reality you're all one and the same. "Unsettled" people looking for a "settled" person to marry.

My advice: Better pick one of the best of the suitors you have now and love him like your life depends on it. Maybe he will take you out of ur problem and decide to marry you (afterall why should any man marry someone over 30 when there are many 25 year old single girls). Or you can decide to keep doing what you're doing expecting different results or listen to the advice of other women speaking live and direct from their husband or fiance's homes that you're still young and you still have time on your side. Or better still follow the person championing "women rights" that women shouldn't take "sh.i.t" from men - Oprah winfrey (no wonder her marriage crashed). In marriage, a lot of sh.i.t will be taken by both the man and the women and they will learn to tolerate Poo taking and love themselves regardless. Or you can just join the nearest convent and become a nun.

Amelian: A close friend of mine sent me, this message:
There's no Absolute Finish line for everyone in the race of Life.
Our tracks are different and Durations are different. The only thing We have in common is the Empire.
For instance, One person graduates @ age 20 and struggles for another 5 yrs to get a job;
Another might graduate @ 27 and get a job immediately.
One can marry a Virgin and wait the next decade to have the blessings of children, another lady probably after taking series of pills not to get pregnant after sexing different series of guys in her past becomes A mother almost immediately after 9months of marriage.
A fellow becomes MD @38 and dies @56... Another becomes MD @ 55 and lives to 90...!
What a Life!....life is full of twists, turns , ups and downs with many more surprises and disappointments .. It's up to us to each one of us to prepare patiently , wait , recognize and utilize every opportunity.. We learn on the way.. No one knows it all OR has it BETTER, no one .
There's a reason why we all don't fall or rise at the same time. It's so that when one is down, weak and discouraged , The other who is Strong can encourage and Lift the other person

This is true

babyosisi:

I hope there is a settled young man here to take the bull by the b.alls

I pity the man that intends to do such. Everybody has one baggage or the other. Her own baggage right now is MARRIAGE. Lets be honest, the lady in question is not yet marriageable. Any man who marries her is in trouble. I will not go further to break it down cos I no get that time. I also know that she wont be married this year (no be curse but based on her attitude).

tonididdy: hmmm...i would never marry a girl i met in a night club or beer bar(unless shes taking soft drinks)
so happyness i advice u start attending a populous church,attend weekday programs be popular for the good reasons.

Are you kidding me?
You are one of those that believe that all girls that go to church are the best and those you meet at parties are the worst. I pity you. My dear, its not always like that. You can refer to this thread in this same section. I'm sorry am on phone, so I can't go through the stress of copy and paste. The title is

"Is this what is called marriage?"

If you go through it, you would see that the OP met his wife in one of the church fellowships and this marriage is one big headache to him. Well, that's one out of too many. What would you say about that? It's not always a guarantee that you find the best of partners in church. It could be anywhere. Besides, I don't see how clubbing right is ungodly. Attending "populous church" in the world is not quite the answer. The most important is that, anyone you attend, you should attend with full submissiveness and prayers too. I don't believe in jumping from one church to the other. It is one and the same God everywhere.

Happyness_Chima: I'm 31 And Nobody Is Asking My Hand In Marriage

Good day nairaland. I'm 31 years old female, single and unmarried. I want to get married by the end of this year by Gods grace. All the men that approach me either are unsettled yet or one problem or the other. At first I wasn't desperate, but I don't know what im doing wrong. I have a good job and travel to the UK often but still haven't met any man that's prepared for marriage. When I go out to have fun, my siblings start complaining that im attending parties and staying out late too much. Is it in our parlour a man will marry me? I'm trying to enjoy life by looking on to the bright side but still feel empty inside of me. What else can I do to get married at least by the end of the year? Any others I my shoes can input as well.

Hey dearie! You seem to be too hard on your self and only focusing on the negatives side of life!
U have a very good job, you are very comfortable and can afford to travel to the UK anytime, mehn, some people envy you oooo, do you know that?
The Yoruba's say that it is only those that wear the shoe that knows where the shoe pinches...Do you know some married folks wanna be single like you too? They want to be able to decide what to do by themselves and not be under the control of any man. Not that I am saying that getting married is not a good idea, but think of those who aren't enjoying their marriages and realize how privileged you are.
I understand the pressure you may be going through, but I do not want you to give in to the pressures. Remember, if you allow your self to be pressure, you would be the one to live with whomsoever you choose for the rest of your life.
The mind is really very tricky, it starts to put doubts in your mind (am sure you had that) and tells you perhaps you can never get married, from there, it makes you believe your doubts, because afterall at 31, you are seeing the clear signs...from there, it goes on to play out the result of such signs, U begin to see your self not getting married early, not having kids early and been a mother at a very late age...All this are very false...It the devil playing tricks with your mind, He is a liar and always would be. Such thoughts are not from God at all...
You do not have to allow your mind play all the scenes, you own the remote control, change the channel! Fix your mind on God's good plan for your life.
If you are a Christain, you would know that God has good plans for you and makes everything beautiful in His own time. What of if you got married early, say 23 and by 31, u are regretting such marriage? What of if you got married years ago and today your husband is no more? Perhaps this is what God is preventing from happening to you!This are things I want you to think about. Everyone would say God forbid, but we cannot see beyond our noses!!
Thirdly, please understand that no matter how much worry you do, there is little or nothing you can do about it by worrying! Worrying does not change anything. Its makes life worse that it appears to be...It makes you see life from a very blurred view. It put fears in your mind and remember the common definition of FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real) However, is there any thing you think that makes men repel you?? Are there character flaws you need to work on? If yes, this are the things you can control..Please work on them.
On the other hand, if there is nothing of such and you are striving to be your best at all times, then do not worry( I know it is easy to say because am not in your shoes) but then you still make the choice to believe God for the best and believe that he has your best interest at heart or believe the lies of the devil)...Keep been your best and someday a man would come your way.
In conclusion, I wanna encourage you with this words. "Everybody's race in life is different. Even siblings do no have the same race with each other, same with twins too. Yours is not an exception too...Your time would definitely come and when it comes, it would not tarry. God makes all things beautiful in His own time and the right man would come wherever you are"
Be complete in who you are, secure in who you are, marriage or not, keep been your best, see each day as a day nearer to your miracle, keep loving God, and don't let internal pressures (the devil through your mind) and external pressures (friends, family and well wishes) make you make the wrong choice!
I pray for you today! I pray that your blessing would not tarry and your heart desires would be granted...Please don't forget to invite me for your wedding oooo...Regards!

NB: Am sorry it is a long epistle, I hope you have been able to get my point!

Danfo:

Laughing out loud....you just disqualified yourself for being too lazy to rotate the pic....you expect the OP to strain her neck?..

Jokes apart, you look 'un-settled'..sorry..

Hahahahahaha, my man which one come be unsettled, she need husdand and am 100% ready 2be her husband. @happyness chima, pls drop ya number

12 inches!:
Everyone knows me for being blunt and saying things as they are. Caution: This may hurt.


What were you doing when your age mates were getting married to their suitors at 24-27 yrs. I guess you were busy championing the cause of how independent woman can be and how women dont really need men to be happy on NL. I guess you're enjoying the fruits of that now. You also like to travel up and down to the Uk (really there's no bad in that) but has that gotten you a husband. Even all the pictures of you in fine background you took. Where did it end you up.

Did it get you that man you're looking for? I also smell pride in your post but i will not dwell on that. I'm sure some good men came for u when you where much younger but I'm sure u still said they were "unsettled" forgetting that in life, we settle down as we go. I'm sure some women already have wonderful marriages to some of the men you rejected but you were busy looking for the most "settled" guy. Now that you're over 30, the age where your body begins to show the effects of growing old and the suitors have reduced, you now run to us. What do you want us to do? Do you want us to rewind time to 6 yrs ago when you should have acted with more wisdom? I see women get married everyday fighting for the most "successful" men. The guy that has rich father. They forget that a guy is not his daddy and if he doesnt work hard like his father, the family wealth and his will dwindle. In five years time, trust me, you will be willing to date even a divorced man or a man with kids already. Yes, many men are irresponsible. Yes, many men have no sense. But there's something about getting married and having a baby that makes a man grow up or atleast want to grow up. Keep looking for that "settled" man. I tell you, you will find him in 5 yrs time but he will be already married, or a divorcee or a man with a f.u.c,ked up attitude to life. Any man that is 28 and is not already thinking of marriage except he has financial issues isnt really a sensible man. Many of such men exist. You will find them and they will find you too because in reality you're all one and the same. "Unsettled" people looking for a "settled" person to marry.

My advice: Better pick one of the best of the suitors you have now and love him like your life depends on it. Maybe he will take you out of ur problem and decide to marry you (afterall why should any man marry someone over 30 when there are many 25 year old single girls). Or you can decide to keep doing what you're doing expecting different results or listen to the advice of other women speaking live and direct from their husband or fiance's homes that you're still young and you still have time on your side. Or better still follow the person championing "women rights" that women shouldn't take "sh.i.t" from men - Oprah winfrey (no wonder her marriage crashed). In marriage, a lot of sh.i.t will be taken by both the man and the women and they will learn to tolerate Poo taking and love themselves regardless. Or you can just join the nearest convent and become a nun.

You have really spoken the truth in a clownish way. Whoever regrets marrying late missed it sometime earlier in life... I missed mine at 27... I tot it was too young for a guy with a new job.

CAMEROONPRIDE: Are u all right?

I'm alright

CAMEROONPRIDE: that's for the people giving their #

Whoever asked you to be their mouth-piece?

CAMEROONPRIDE: lmao, I'm not interested

Are you married yourself?

I am still waiting for you to ping me on 234EF841. May the Lord

This is why I'm hooked on this site... has a lot of reasonable people

StateOfMind:

You are indeed a very restless woman. What do you stand to gain by mocking this poster. You think your life is better just because you claim to be married?

You keep going on and on about her preference for someone settled. Is there a crime in that? She has worked hard enough to become settled in life and she deserves a good man to complement that.

In as much as she has been advised to lower her expectations and be more open minded, which I agree with, I do no wish her a marriage to any unsettled guy just because she wants to be a mrs. She has to be wary of irresponsible unsettled guys who will just come into her life to squander her money.

Don't make it seem as if all unsettled guys are good and responsible while their settled counterparts are not.

Op, live your life and be on the look out for good, decent and responsible men, settled or unsettled. Your priority should be making yourself happy and approachable. Be open minded and very observant too.

All the best.

31 It's over!!!
If you were below 26 I could hook you up with a Ghanaian man but 31?? Forget about it!!


Just joking

Marriage is not for everybody! As long as you are happy with yourself everything will work out in the end. The fact that you are taking all these fancy vacations suggest you are already rich and we all know very few men want to marry a woman much richer than them. It is clear most men will be intimidated by you unless they themselves have a lot going for them. The problem is, if a man has a lot going for them they ain't looking for a 31 year old


Take what part of that seriously that you choose to but please don't be offended.

if u r a virgin, contact mi

Hey dearie! You seem to be too hard on your self and only focusing on the negatives side of life!
U have a very good job, you are very comfortable and can afford to travel to the UK anytime, mehn, some people envy you oooo, do you know that?
The Yoruba's say that it is only those that wear the shoe that knows where the shoe pinches...Do you know some married folks wanna be single like you too? They want to be able to decide what to do by themselves and not be under the control of any man. Not that I am saying that getting married is not a good idea, but think of those who aren't enjoying their marriages and realize how privileged you are.
I understand the pressure you may be going through, but I do not want you to give in to the pressures. Remember, if you allow your self to be pressure, you would be the one to live with whomsoever you choose for the rest of your life.
The mind is really very tricky, it starts to put doubts in your mind (am sure you had that) and tells you perhaps you can never get married, from there, it makes you believe your doubts, because afterall at 31, you are seeing the clear signs...from there, it goes on to play out the result of such signs, U begin to see your self not getting married early, not having kids early and been a mother at a very late age...All this are very false...It the devil playing tricks with your mind, He is a liar and always would be. Such thoughts are not from God at all...
You do not have to allow your mind play all the scenes, you own the remote control, change the channel! Fix your mind on God's good plan for your life.
If you are a Christain, you would know that God has good plans for you and makes everything beautiful in His own time. What of if you got married early, say 23 and by 31, u are regretting such marriage? What of if you got married years ago and today your husband is no more? Perhaps this is what God is preventing from happening to you!This are things I want you to think about. Everyone would say God forbid, but we cannot see beyond our noses!!
Thirdly, please understand that no matter how much worry you do, there is little or nothing you can do about it by worrying! Worrying does not change anything. Its makes life worse that it appears to be...It makes you see life from a very blurred view. It put fears in your mind and remember the common definition of FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real) However, is there any thing you think that makes men repel you?? Are there character flaws you need to work on? If yes, this are the things you can control..Please work on them.
On the other hand, if there is nothing of such and you are striving to be your best at all times, then do not worry( I know it is easy to say because am not in your shoes) but then you still make the choice to believe God for the best and believe that he has your best interest at heart or believe the lies of the devil)...Keep been your best and someday a man would come your way.
In conclusion, I wanna encourage you with this words. "Everybody's race in life is different. Even siblings do no have the same race with each other, same with twins too. Yours is not an exception too...Your time would definitely come and when it comes, it would not tarry. God makes all things beautiful in His own time and the right man would come wherever you are"
Be complete in who you are, secure in who you are, marriage or not, keep been your best, see each day as a day nearer to your miracle, keep loving God, and don't let internal pressures (the devil through your mind) and external pressures (friends, family and well wishes) make you make the wrong choice!
I pray for you today! I pray that your blessing would not tarry and your heart desires would be granted...Please don't forget to invite me for your wedding oooo...Regards!
NB: Am sorry it is a long epistle, I hope you have been able to get my point!

Tashamania:

I'm alright




Whoever asked you to be their mouth-piece?



Are you married yourself?

are u saying they are not interested in op's contacts?
the op wants something and I gave her a way to do it. Easily. That's all

saemmanuel: if u r a virgin, contact mi

you are a sick sick man!!

saemmanuel: if u r a virgin, contact mi

LOOOOOOL !

Happyness_Chima:

please what else can I do. When everyone in ur family is getting married. If I step outside they say i'm perambulating everywhere. Party, wedding, nightclub is a problem. Im thinking maybe I should rent my own place since I can afford it. I haff tire for the matter.

If u rent a house is going to be another problem, I will advice u
If u ve a car park it, if u re too flashy, reduce it. Put u ego
Some where for now. And most importantly pray always.
U can mail me on this for further details bankyblue@ymail.com

U can also learn from this pix

elebua: I am still waiting for you to ping me on 234EF841. May the Lord keep you out of danger as you search. I am not after sex but plain and genuine.

Funny guy. So you would really drop you contact details to someone who talks the way she does. Loool

@ Poster you need to re-evaluate yourself. No meaningful single guy would date you except the ones with the baggage you are running away from.

smoothcrim2014: 31 It's over!!!
If you were below 26 I could hook you up with a Ghanaian man but 31?? Forget about it!!


Just joking

Marriage is not for everybody! As long as you are happy with yourself everything will work out in the end. The fact that you are taking all these fancy vacations suggest you are already rich and we all know very few men want to marry a woman much richer than them. It is clear most men will be intimidated by you unless they themselves have a lot going for them. The problem is, if a man has a lot going for them they ain't looking for a 31 year old


Take what part of that seriously that you choose to but please don't be offended.

As in... If they were going out already accepted. But to start a new relationship with a 31 year old lady . We may need to defrost her ovaries . God forgive me for my mouth

truelove.com:



bizzy body the number is not for u. dont call him again. he dropped his number specifically for happynes chima. Una no dey take eye see guys wey dey abroad

Heeeheeee @ abroad......Where do you think I am?Your village huh?
See his orange head You actually went all the way to Lekki, just to pose and snap in front of a new house.Then advertised on nairaland, to attract OP.You'd better lift your lazy backside from the bench, and go n find something useful do with your life.

FYI,I called the guy with an unknown number, cos I didn't wanna establish any communication.

In as much as I would like to say @danfo is wrong, he is not.
He hit the nail on the head in terms of the ladies character , she is full of pride.
She judges men from a distance.

You can never get any1 100% , you will have to make some compromises, but never compromise on something that means a lot to you and you can't live with

Finally, don't get married because soceity demands it from you, else when you get married, with any issue you encounter ( which always happens in a marriage ), instead of working out a solution , you start saying you don't blame the guy, na condition make crayfish bend.
God help you, if you tell the guy this in marriage and he becomes successful, you've just condemned yourself to a second class citizen and he will always treat you as thrash.

Get to know guys in your church and neighbourhood, decide if they are husband materials and potential success. If you are lucky and the man decides to marry you, say yes and work with him, if he becomes successful , there is a 90% chance that he will forever cherish.

You are busy fasting asking for a husband, but the ones around are not financially stable for you as you wouldn't want to be feeding any man
Have you forgotten those days when you graduated and was begging God for a good job, now he has blessed you and you forgot you were once like them
This is the reason God does not bless many people
If you were still struggling in the labour market or had a little job, you probably would have had many people who fit into your category and maybe married

That's my 2cents - and I mean no disrespect

Cold blooded: Hmmm! Ok, make I tok in pidgin, firstly- e nobi ur fault say u stil dey single
Secondary- no dey desperate at all e nogo lead u anywhere
Thirdly- pray if u trust in God(but no waka say u dey go meet any spiritualist or man of God cos dem sabi complicate tins)
Fourtly- if d level wey u dey keep dey high too much, try reduce ur class cos tins like dat dey scare potential hubby away(cos of d fear of maintaining u).
Fifth-dont give urself date( as u say u wan marry by d end of d year)cos na God dey giv gud husband.
Lastly sis, if u go club a lot with hope of meeting a potential suitor dia, I don't fink it's d right place, most men chose to go clubbing for fun but time for marriage, dey wil luk for a cool-headed girl somewhere else.
Sixth- 31yrs neva dey too old, my sis married last 2yrs at d age of 35yrs n she dey enjoy d swt marriage now.
Wish u d best!

I agree wiv no4 wella.......... Modesty is d word. Everyman no matter ow rich or poor want to take care of his woman,not vice versa. Except lazy men. God will give u ur heart desire dear.

truelove.com:



Am available, if your serious. Thats my pic below(remember that love aint about number)

Gigolo!!!!!

It better late dan never. People av said it all. Never rush urself into marriage & pls do away wit any pride u may av in u. Dnt give urself marriage ultimatum, it dangerous. Its beta u wait 4 d man who wil luv u & take u 4 who u are dan ending up marring a fustrated man who wil make life unbearable 4u & who might even kill u, story abound. In all believe nothing is impossible wit God and ur ideal man wil surely come. Best of luck.

Thank you all for the replies.

Permit to me say this to some of you. Just because I'm looking for a spouse does not make me your comic toy. I will fight back if you come at me rudely. I work too hard for myself and give respect to others in all situations. 12 inches, your comment didn't hurt. You are unmarried so we're in the same shoes. Unless you feed a woman, clothe and house her, your ridicule points back to you. I dated a man for 5 years and I know he's in God's hands smiling at me whilst shaking his head at some people here. Is it easy tomove on? Tell me is it? Have u ever worn my shoes? Some of you just talk anyhow like we're all unserious people in our lives. I found solace in my achievements and turned to partying more with my friends but i realize its time to grow up and adapt to change. Only broke men that think i'm proud because of your poor self-esteem.

I'm the go-to person for organizing baby showers, wedding events and children'd bday parties. I'm a God mother to 3 children. Everybody loves me. The reason I opened this topic on this website is because last night one of my friends called me that she and hubby have been praying for me to get hitched that im so nice but why am i unmarried. It broke me to tears so i decided to come and seek advice here. As soon as I mentioned Uk, some people almost died on top the matter. If i tell u that im in SA right now on official duty, they might even have heart attack.

All these attacks are inconsequential. You cannot diagnose and analyze the life of a person you've never met with so much confidence and rudeness as if im a baby. Many women are in my shoes but fear wil not let then open a topic like this. For all those that had something beneficial to say, God will locate you.

esere826: *Folds worn out shirt*
who's next?

Esere i really like you. You seem like a jovial person with good character and loves to make others smile. I have 35PM's how can i find you from all of them? Anyways have fun.

Yeap everybody gat pride,we all take pride in something or someone but it also depends on what you take pride in, but you can't take pride in superficial things because they pass away with the using

Dreamflyin:

Abegii, u self get d pride, even a bigger one. U tinks dat u ar on a higher moral/intelligence pedestal above everyone.
Bro, pride is an innate tin in every human being. We all got it. Who wants to knw if u ar a professional wat.(analyssss, abi analysian, someone shuld pls teach me gud englisss).
We all got PRIDE!

saemmanuel: if u r a virgin, contact mi

Babalawo! Poster, RUN!!!!'

Awwww! honestly i dey feel for this OP. How i wish i could make her dream comes true but, as you can feel, i'm still young and UNSETTLED as usual. I'm really sorry but i pray you'll send us your invitation card here on NL as you've proposed before this year runs out. PEACE!!

Idowuogbo:
Babalawo! Poster, RUN!!!!'

lol my sister. They said i should step down so my options are now open.