Abeg do what gives you joy and happiness. Forget bad belle people because they will always complain/talk

gboss4sure: Abeg do what gives you joy and happiness. Forget bad belle people because they will always complain/talk

femmy2010: What matters is what you both want.
It would work perfectly well if you both learn not to allow 3rd party view matters.
Best of luck.

Yes o.... And that's wat we are doing...

Amelian:

If you like see me as desperate, if you like , see me otherwise with tantrums, oh ohhhh......that's your own cup of tea...I don't care... I know what I want and how well it's working for me... If its paining you, that a younger man can have a conscience? Close your eyes from reading my post.... It's not byforce to read and reply on my post.......I dey paddle my boat, the way I see it...and it's working well for me ....


And at Olumaxi, who needs your cursed prayers, abeg park well... Go and pray for yourself , not me.

you sounds harsh and furious. If you don't care, why sounding this way and cursing people? It means you really care and its hunting you. Infact if you don't care you won't take people's thought into consideration

follow your heart, since your previous relationship was unflexible, he might just be the right guy for you

dannysteve99@ya:
Are we doing plus & minus here?She should go ahead i mean.a girl of 3 years are u trying to tell me when she see someone who love her she will nt know? She must hv dated some guys b4,she never come here to say it,but for her say this nw,i feel she loved him.

Yes, but she dumped him. Why didnt she marry him then? It will only lead to heart break.

I think for this OP to open this thread is that she is having double thought and want to know people's opinion.
@OP, the worst mistake you will do is to ask for people's consent in anything about your relationshp. Its yours and your happiness.
Even from your points, I can read double mind and you need assurance from people. That's wrong. Me myself won't advise my guy marry a lady with 5yrs gap.

.

Its so easy to throw around the word 'desperate' wen it cums to a woman dating a younger man, but it becomes an achievement wen its the other way round.
Personally I wld not like to date and marry a younger guy for any reason. But if it makes another person happy, why not. Meanwhile some younger guys amazingly appear to be more matured than some older ones when u deal with them.

Amelian: Yea, I told him my age when immediately he told me his.. He looked confused and says but I look less than 30, cause of my baby face...that am lieing to scare him away... That was when I shook my head and walked out on him, before he traveled 2 Yobe.

[color=#770077][/color]
From my own perspective,I'll say that from your understanding,age iS a̶̲̥̅̊
barrier not just a̶̲̥̅̊
number.because that was T̶̲̥̅̊ђε̲̣̣̣̥ notion why you left him when you discover his age.now you are desperate because age ȋ̝̊S̶̲̥̅̊ no friend of ladies....my lady,youmust master your weakness S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ that ΐτ̅ ll nt b use as a̶̲̥̅̊
Weapon against you.talk t̶̲̥̅̊ợ̣̣̇̇̇ him very well about T̶̲̥̅̊ђε̲̣̣̣̥ age deference S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ as t̶̲̥̅̊ợ̣̣̇̇̇ grand T̶̲̥̅̊ђε̲̣̣̣̥ issue,S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ that he will not same reason of letting you go like you've done before.my dear,I̶̲̥̅̊
Wish. ญr̶̲̥̅̊
L̶̲̥̅̊
♥̸̨
v̶̲̥̅̊
will swim ashore.

pweeryambre: Its so easy to throw around the word 'desperate' wen it cums to a woman dating a younger man, but it becomes an achievement wen its the other way round.

But she is desperate. She was not ready to continue dating him when she first found out about his age but lo and behold, a few years later, after she has had numerous failed relationships, she now wants the guy back. Is that not desperate to you.

Thank you, all for the various advises.... Av heard... ...different spice for different people..

Thanks a lot.

Op stop pretending u are happy with him..cus u know u are not comfortable with him...at dsame time I wnt advice u 2 leave him cus u must marry dis year..u grab??k

Amelian: Ok, it goes like this.. Am in my early 30s , good looking, building my career to a nice level, the kind of guys am attracted 2 are cute tall chubby guys.. I don't settle for less ... I guess that's y am still single...ok , fast forward.. I was at a BUSSTOP waiting for a bus, when a car slowly drove close to me and this handsome dude, lowered his head in his car to say hi, and if he should give me ride... I looked at him, was skeptical abit, but I noticed his baby face and the way he beckoned on me softly, I sighed and I hopped in.. He introduced himself, but he looks kind of young..especially his face which I secretly liked.

We got talking, he was like he is in town to assist his dad in their family company.. I was like,,oh ok..that's cool. ..... We started dating, thenafter few months , he dropped d bombshell that he has a confession to make...And we have to meet, I was like what's wrong.. He says he is actually working for his dad , part time, though but he is in his Finals in the university and he is about to go his NYSC Programme. And he is posted to Yobe state! ... I was like wat! Why didnt u tell me , yur a student!.. I felt so bad, that he could conveniently omit that info , of being a student! The question , I was dreading to ask him, now came up... I shook my head and asked how old are you? He looked down and says he is 26 yrs..oh my God! ... I somehow knew he was younger, but not that young...and at then, I was 31. I felt so bad , I just told him , to go and leave me alone.. I felt so hurt, I felt so alone... Cause av gotten to love him so much... I never imagined, I won't see him for a whole yr!

He tried calling , texting... I ignored him... I just want to get over everything and move on.....did i eventually move on, yea but i was not satisfied with two other relationships, i had...He eventually travelled to the north..and I moved on... After two failed relationships again with guys my age bracket and older too... I just decided to forget abt guys and focus more in my career .

After a yr, I received a text message from my once Prince Charming, he is back to town, and wants to meet with me...
Then he called my line, I felt so soft listening to his voice... And we agreed to meet... He asked , how far av gone with work... I told him, av just bought a car a month ago .. So we are now car owners,, not only him ... he laughed and said that's cool, what brand ... I told him..

Now , av forgiven him, we started dating again.. But my friends are like he is younger, he's just done from his youth service ..why do I want to be serious with him?. They don't know his prospects and I can't keep on explaining that he has potentials. One of my frnd a guy even said, he hopes, my bf is not back because I have a car! ...
Can u imagine? And that I shud be careful and he is after my money...I was like, listen to yourself, becos am living well, does not mean I shud be wary of guys and see them as opportunists?

I know there r bad guys , also there are bad girls too..But pls don't judge him, he is with me.... Just for me and he has great dreams and strong potentials, which I know deep down , he will succeed....he is branching out from his dad's company, and has great plans he is working on...why shud I allow suspection to creep in? He has never asked me for money, cos he is ok.

Yea , we do av little issues like most couples do.... But we make up quickly and we understand ourselves better ...pple shud stop creating doubts in couples mind...

It's not good, it's not fair.... ...stop judging the intentions of a seemingly good guy... Or what do u guys think?
Cos, I don't want doubts about him loving me truly to creep in... And he is so handsome : and bubbly with life...

Have you ever really calmed down to consider that what all your friends are saying might actually be true and they are not just hating? (unless of course, you have terrible friends that don't wish you happiness). All I hear you talk of, is how you guys love each other and how much you are in cloud9 when you are around him. But this is Marriage we are talking about here, Love is a constant, but it's not all that is needed to foster a good marriage. there are other variables like Respect, Understanding, Peace e.t.c I think the major reason why people dread this kind of marriage is because of the variable "respect". When a man is younger than his wife, The man tends to demand more respect because he feels inferior(age-wise). you cant blame him if he does, he's 5 years younger than you. If and when he proposes, You should know that the success of your marriage lies in your ability to humble yourself and respect him, like he was your father (which is somfin you would not need to do if he was older). The truth is, people cant predict or estimate the success of any marriage. Only the couple can make their own destiny. If you think you can keep up with whatever comes out as a result of your decision, then Cool. Wish you Happiness tho

@OP first settle d doubt in ur mind, then have a REAL talk wit him. Don't struggle wit it, don't force urself into it. Pray n God'll lead u.

Still don't know where you are driving at, except you haven't finished your story yet. If you haven't, say so so that we all can know why you think Nigerian guyz are pessimistic coz there is nothing pessimistic about Nigerian guyz from your story here.

@OP: Still don't know where you are driving at, except you haven't finished your story yet. If you haven't, say so so that we all can know why you think Nigerian guyz are pessimistic coz there is nothing pessimistic about Nigerian guyz from your story here.

Hmmm I'm a Strong believer of love;but I'll tell you that 98% of this type of r/ship dnt end well.because todays diamond is tomorrow's copper....there are things you must put in question: does the Parents know you?;do they love you?do they love you like their daughter or just a daughter-inlaw?.....if they do..do they know your age deference?..i fear that your friends maybe saying the truth,for none of us online will be there to feel your pain if it happens like you never expected,you still have your friends...the best advice you can get is verbal,from your friends(male/female),parents that have seen the guy."A MAD MAN SEES WHAT HE SEES".those you think did not wish the best may sees beyond what you are seing.

AGE IS NOT A BARRIER..!!!

Why cant we be happy for her and wish her well??

@op, Go Girl..!!! Am solidly behind you.

nyere84: AGE IS NOT A BARRIER..!!!

Why cant we be happy for her and wish her well??

@op, Go Girl..!!! Am solidly behind you.

Age can be a barrier of many sorts. The age is not the problem. The Mind and the society is. If she's determined to love the guy no matter what turns up 2moro. And she sees the reality of what she's going into, the better for her. We cannot come and wish her well, it's not yet too late. Maybe if she was already married, we would just wish her well. But now we got to tell her the bitter truth, so that she knows what she's going into

When you spit out saliva, you are not expected to go back and lick it. True love my foot!

basilo101: When you spit out saliva, you are not expected to go back and lick it. True love my foot!

hehehehe. Judgey much?

my advice...be with whoever makes you happy and stay happy...it is quite important...

@Op , Get this straight, it won't work .
You are suffering from infatuation unfortunately at 34,
You are either interested in the good s*x he gives you or blinded by the fact that he is from a comfortable home.
In any case, look out for guys who are ready to settle down and not sugar boys.



And how did your infatuation story translate to the heading you gave it?

I am a typical Nigerian guy,
dating a girl a year younger than me,
I met her in my faculty in 2006,
Asked her for serious '' courtship'' in 2008.......
I graduated in 2008 and she did in 2011,
I served in Far North and residing there now,....
She served in Lagos and resides in Lagos now.
We trust, respect and value each other.
We visit each other when convenient, and we have perfected plans to sacrifice our present locations and settle down next year.

I will tell you this, ..... My fiancee is not the young, skin glowing, year one, girl that I saw in 2006, She is a lady now...... But my love for her has gone beyond appearance and stronger than then.

NOW, RELATE MY OWN LOVE EXPERIENCE WITH THE HEADING YOU GAVE YOUR UPDATE AND SEE WHETHER YOUR GENERALIZATION IS TRUE!!!!

It is clear that you are in love. It is also clear that even you were / are disturbed by the age bracket. Else, why the breakup in the first place or why get so defensive and upset with your friends and comments here. For me, I would say live in the moment. I have had a recent bad romantic experience and to me, true love is dead. But u seem to have found it so enjoy sis!

Age isn't just a number when it comes to relationship however, if you're happy with him which you seem to be, then go for it. There are way too many complications and problems in life to be doubtful when you know you love someone. Rather try and fail than not trying at all.

oh between, your topic doesn't even match the content.

What's the point of this thread anyways?

You don't need anyone's approval or opinion to do what you gotta do for yourself, what you eat don't make others sh1t.

fiolaP: my advice...be with whoever makes you happy and stay happy...it is quite important...

Extremely important....good advice.. .... At this recent times, is not about age , but character and responsibility .

Amelian:

If you like see me as desperate, if you like , see me otherwise with tantrums, oh ohhhh......that's your own cup of tea...I don't care... I know what I want and how well it's working for me... If its paining you, that a younger man can have a conscience? Close your eyes from reading my post.... It's not byforce to read and reply on my post.......I dey paddle my boat, the way I see it...and it's working well for me ....


And at Olumaxi, who needs your cursed prayers, abeg park well... Go and pray for yourself , not me.

remember, whenever you bring an issue or topic to be discussed on nairaland, be prepared to read: destructive criticisms, constructive criticisms, comforting words, demeaning statements, and attack!!! Just take the good counsels, use some to amend things u can amend, be nice, don't exchange swear or curse words...listen, read more than you type...

As for me, I see no problem with what you are doing based on your story. I would only advice you to indirectly get him talking about settling down not because you are too old but because it is the best thing to do- marry him now before distractions starts to set in, you know, there are plenty women distractions nowadays- from internet to real life, it takes the special grace of God for a man to be completely faithful and flirt-free.

Still wishing you good luck in your relationship.

You are also right Dailynews, people with different opinions, I appreciate the constructive advises and best wishes,but , I don't even waste my time answering stupid destructive comments.. Everyone have their life to live...I have mine to live.... Just wanted to sample pple opinions , now I understand the mindsets of pple better....thanks for the best wishes..

First of, I'm speechless! You r dating a guy u r at least 5yrs older than? Girl, u r BOLD. Real bold. Way out of my naija league bold.
I don't know what kind of opinion u r looking for ... But somehow ur gfs have got a point, he's real young n u r in ur 30s. Can u two make it? Have u thought about ur future 2geda? Does his family know about u? Ur family about him?
Am all for love conquers all but can it conquer this?

First of, I'm speechless! You r dating a guy u r at least 5yrs older than? Girl, u r BOLD. Real bold. Way out of my naija league bold.
I don't know what kind of opinion u r looking for ... But somehow ur gfs have got a point, he's real young n u r in ur 30s. Can u two make it? Have u thought about ur future 2geda? Does his family know about u? Ur family about him?
Am all for love conquers all but can it conquer this?

I don't know much bout love but I can remember what my dad always say,which to me,makes perfect sense..."marriage is not boyfriend n girlfriend,its a higher commitment. Love alone can not make it stand the test of time.it needs more than love." so this is what I'd say...try to find out if d other things marriage need to wax strong is available in the relationship. All the best.
. Yours truly eighthsin.