Depends on who the friend is and why?And my reasons are not cos hubby might eye the friend cos that is so absurd.I might as well be going to work with him in that case.

I have a couple of friends who are like sisters and i would not hesitate having them over in a heartbeat.But of late some family members sef have been house guests from hell so kinda rethinking the whole always extending invitations to every one to stay thing.

I wonder when not being comfortable with strangers in my home now equaled not trusting my husband. I just dont like people in my home period. My friend is a stranger to my husband and so are his friends. There is no one size fits all, everyone will do what is best for them. Personally, i would rather not start something i dont like. . Besides, i wonder if oyinbo's do same out of trust? They will tell you straight up to make sure you get your own accommodation. No body likes to hear stories. Nigerian's as we know are normal mooches. So am i surprised? No. When you come a place, make sure you have accommodation.

chaircover: As banks like to know their customers . . . . so should a woman know her husband.

If the husband is a dog who has no self control and is attracted to everything in skirt, then keep your friend away. . . but then again, seriously though, if he is the type that has no restraint and is going to sleep with your best friend, you shouldn't really stop her from coming cos he probably has already slept with all your other best friends, all the girls on your street and all the ladies in his office anyway and so another one wont really make much difference

If he is not the type to cheat and he is a decent and morally upright man, then if i were the husband, I will feel very insulted that my wife cant trust me around her best friend.

So once again its back to "know your husband" . . .and act accordingly.

it then begs the question - if a man is this morally-bankrupt why would any woman marry him?

baby_123: I wonder when not being comfortable with strangers in my home now equaled not trusting my husband. I just dont like people in my home period. My friend is a stranger to my husband and so are his friends. There is no one size fits all, everyone will do what is best for them. Personally, i would rather not start something i dont like. . Besides, i wonder if oyinbo's do same out of trust? They will tell you straight up to make sure you get your own accommodation. No body likes to hear stories. Nigerian's as we know are normal mooches. So am i surprised? No. When you come a place, make sure you have accommodation.

Well said.
I for one will not even allow my family stay more than two days in my matrimonial home.

But then a friend
You don't even know her motives of coming around.
Forget this hubby seductn tin and focus on other things she's capable of doing. She could be there to harm anyone. People change, that's not new.
What if she's commited a crime somewhere and she's seeking refuge in ur house.
Well since u r the good friend with the kind heart then you shouldn't be afraid of been in jail for aiding and abetting a criminal too.

Your matrimonal home is meant for u and ur hubby with kids as they come. Not ur family or friends!

Tell her motels are cheap if she can't afford a hotel. Or better still be nice to pay for it.
If she's a good friend of urs, she will def understand and respect ur decision.

It depends on.......
1. The type of hubby one has.
2. The type of friend she is.
3. Her reason for coming over.
4. How long shes gonna stay.
5. Our type of apartment.

And if i reject such visit, its definately not because of trust issues, maybe other factors are or could be responsible for my refusal.
However, no one can prevent a man or woman from cheating, if the person really mean to cheart on his/her spouse, its a thing of the mind, if a person really want to cheat on his/her spouse with a friend, he/she will definately do, no matter how many times you wake up in the night to follow him to the loo or how one is smart enough to be following him/her to everywhere that is to be. Its a thing of the mind, not how careful one is.
May God help us all.

baby_123: I wonder when not being comfortable with strangers in my home now equaled not trusting my husband. I just dont like people in my home period. My friend is a stranger to my husband and so are his friends. There is no one size fits all, everyone will do what is best for them. Personally, i would rather not start something i dont like. . Besides, i wonder if oyinbo's do same out of trust? They will tell you straight up to make sure you get your own accommodation. No body likes to hear stories. Nigerian's as we know are normal mooches. So am i surprised? No. When you come a place, make sure you have accommodation.

and how has this method worked for the oyibos? they still cheat more than a beaver!!! i would personally be insulted if my spouse cannot trust me around any woman.

candygosh:

Well said.
I for one will not even allow my family stay more than two days in my matrimonial home.

But then a friend
You don't even know her motives of coming around.
Forget this hubby seductn tin and focus on other things she's capable of doing. She could be there to harm anyone. People change, that's not new.
What if she's commited a crime somewhere and she's seeking refuge in ur house.
Well since u r the good friend with the kind heart then you shouldn't be afraid of been in jail for aiding and abetting aa criminal too.

Your matrimonal home is meaant for u and ur hubby with kids as they come. Not ur family or friends!

Tell her motels are cheap if she can't afford a hotel. Or better still be nice to pay for it.
If she's a good friend of urs, she will def understand and respect ur decision.

Friends really change. This robbery incident, has happened to two people i know. Another one saw a best friend looking destitute, decided to take her in and help her. As is normal, friends will go through all your stuff. When you go to party you will lend them gold, shoe and lace. A week after this woman left, armed robbers came to their house and went directly to where all her valuables were. Till today, that woman hasnt seen, heard or been able to call the friend. Not all friends are bad, but i prefer to keep a respectable distance when i comes to my family. I like to protect that unit, and in keeping a respectable distance we are better friends. If i have a guest house, maybe. And it will be for a little while.But until then, no. If its really pressing, i would rather the couple come together. Otherwise, get a motel. My oyinbo friends will recommend hotels in the vicinity. They will not even give you chance to say you want to sleep in their house. LMAO.

coogar:

and how has this method worked for the oyibos? they still cheat more than a beaver!!! i would personally be insulted if my spouse cannot trust me around any woman.

What has having friends in your house for sleep over got to do with cheating? If both want to meet outside your home wont they? Oyinbo's refuse to do it, why? Because they understand that good fences make good neighbors. You cannot say what you did not see.

baby_123:
What has having friends in your house for sleep over got to do with cheating? If both want to meet outside your home wont they? Oyinbo's refuse to do it, why? Because they understand that good fences make good neighbors. You cannot say what you did not see.

the only reason you wouldn't want a female friend around is because of your hubby. if you are single, it would be no issue having a fellow friend around. so it's more of a trust issue than a security issue!!!

baby_123:

Friends really change. This robbery incident, has happened to two people i know. Another one saw a best friend looking destitute, decided to take her in and help her. As is normal, friends will go through all your stuff. When you go to party you will lend them gold, shoe and lace. A week after this woman left, armed robbers came to their house and went directly to where all her valuables were. Till today, that woman hasnt seen, heard or been able to call the friend. Not all friends are bad, but i prefer to keep a respectable distance when i comes to my family. I like to protect that unit, and in keeping a respectable distance we are better friends. If i have a guest house, maybe. And it will be for a little while.But until then, no. If its really pressing, i would rather the couple come together. Otherwise, get a motel. My oyinbo friends will recommend hotels in the vicinity. They will not even give you chance to say you want to sleep in their house. LMAO.

this s interestin

coogar:

the only reason you wouldn't want a female friend around is because of your hubby. if you are single, it would be no issue having a fellow friend around. so it's more of a trust issue than a security issue!!!

When you live alone and are single, you are responsible for yourself alone. And even at that, i wont have liked extended stays. In case you missed my post, i also would not want strange men wandering around my home. It goes both ways.

^^^^ myself I don't go to my friends house to say I want to sleep there.
I just don't like inconveniencing. Others.

Sometn similar happened too but not even hubby related.
Just university friends who knew each other well and were best of friends.
She just got jealous of her success added some substance on her shoes.
That lady was saved by prayers ehn, till today when I see her, those big black sores remain on her feet. She's still pretty tho.

This is Nigeria where u should only trust God and urself.
Even the bible says and the servant applied wisdom

baby_123:

When you live alone and are single, you are responsible for yourself alone. And even at that, i wont have liked extended stays. In case you missed my post, i also would not want strange men wandering around my home. It goes both ways.

no woman want strange men wandering around the house! man is technically different from men.....

coogar:

no woman want strange men wandering around the house! man is technically different from men.....

Oh my bad, i thought you said man is different from women.

baby_123: What happened to a hotel? Is she destitute? She doesnt have a family If it is as a couple, yes. But as an individual, no. Same for the hubby. I just dont like the idea of people having access to my house anyhow. And also, your friends do change you know. Especially the ones you havent seen in a long while. You cant vouch

So how would staying as a couple stop them from stealing your gold or how would them invite robbers

baby_123:
Here we go again. The sexist arguments. When all else fails, you can count on coogar to pull out his winning card...

it's not a sexist argument, can't you see? i am letting you know you can't trust your friend around your partner or you can't trust your partner around your friend - and it shouldn't be so.......

coogar:

the only reason you wouldn't want a female friend around is because of your hubby. if you are single, it would be no issue having a fellow friend around. so it's more of a trust issue than a security issue!!!

Exactly. Why would she be okay with them coming as a couple and not single females

dayokanu:

So how would staying as a couple stop them from stealing your gold or how would them invite robbers

Because definitely, i am not left with a particular gender of spouse in the house. And should anyone come up with any claims, their would be someone else as a witness. It also, at least lends credence to the fact that i would only do such in pressing circumstances. Normally, i wouldnt allow sleepovers. As for friends i havent seen in a while, it will help me at least get to know they have some roots somewhere. Not just one rolling stone that will reappear and disappear at will.

coogar:

it's not a sexist argument, can't you see? i am letting you know you can't trust your friend around your partner or you can't trust your partner around your friend - and it shouldn't be so.......

Well, the fact of the matter is, how many people can you trust No one. So it is not about trust, some people will rather deal with others when it comes to family and their space with a respectable distance. I am one of them. Period.

[quote author=candygosh]^^^^ myself I don't go to my friends house to say I waant to sleep there.
I just don't like inconveniencing. Others.

Somwtn similar happened too but not even hubby related.
Just university friends who knew each other well and were best of friends.
She jusst got jealous of her success aed some substance on her shoes.
That lady was saved by prayers ehn, till today when I see her, those big black sores remain on her feet. She's still pretty tho.

Thos is Nigeria where u should only trust God and urself.
Even the bible says and the servant applied wisdom[/quote My sista you av spoken wel

baby_123:
Well, the fact of the matter is, how many people can you trust No one. So it is not about trust, some people will rather deal with others when it comes to family and their space with a respectable distance. I am one of them. Period.

but only a trusted friend would even suggest passing the night with you.

coogar:

but only a trusted friend would even suggest passing the night with you.

A trusted friend. Yea sure. You really do know human beings that well. And no, i have friends i havent seen in 10years that will hear i live somewhere and decide to crash with me. Besides, how many of your best friends are still best friends How many times do you see them

baby_123:

Because definitely, i am not left with a particular gender of spouse in the house. And should anyone come up with any claims, their would be someone else as a witness. It also, at least lends credence to the fact that i would only do such in pressing circumstances. Normally, i wouldnt allow sleepovers. As for friends i havent seen in a while, it will help me at least get to know they have some roots somewhere. Not just one rolling stone that will reappear and disappear at will.

If the couple work together to steal your gold or if the couple work together to organize robbers?

I am curious what difference it makes with either individual or couples like you alluded to in your first statement on this topic

baby_123:
A trusted friend. Yea sure. You really do know human beings that well. And no, i have friends i havent seen in 10years that will hear i live somewhere and decide to crash with me. Besides, how many of your best friends are still best friends How many times do you see them

friends that haven't seen you in 10 years? hell no! anyone i have not seen in 2 years cannot even come that close.

dayokanu:

If the couple work together to steal your gold or if the couple work together to organize robbers?

I am curious what difference it makes with either individual or couples like you alluded to in your first statement on this topic

I have already answered your question. You are reaching ...

coogar:

friends that haven't seen you in 10 years? hell no! anyone i have not seen in 2 years cannot even come that close.

How many of your best friends have you seen in the past 2years? Note, most of our best friends are childhood friends. Most friends we make as adults are acquaintances.

Na wa oo./// so now it is becoming part of our culture to move our friends to hotels...

civilisation indeed

baby_123:
How many of your best friends have you seen in the past 2years? Note, most of our best friends are childhood friends. Most friends we make as adults are acquaintances.

i only have one friend, i see him twice a week and i have known him since age 3. others are just acquaintances and none of them can ask to pass the night in my crib!!!!

biolabee: Na wa oo./// so now it is becoming part of our culture to move our friends to hotels...

civilisation indeed

Ah! What's a whole day without a pointless underhanded comment per your usual MO?

coogar:

i only have one friend, i see him twice a week and i have known him since age 3. others are just acquaintances and none of them can ask to pass the night in my crib!!!!

So have the many people that have been used for rituals by their best friends. Yoruba adage goes "Eni la mo, a o mo inu" or something like that. You know the person, you do not know what his inner thoughts or motives are. In all, i guess i have made my point. . And oh, i have not had the priviledge of spending that much time with my best friends. We catch up by phone.

ileobatojo:
Ah! What's a whole day without a pointless underhanded comment per your usual MO?

my honourable witchdoctor, would you send a friend to a motel cos you can't trust her around your vineyard?

ileobatojo:

Ah! What's a whole day without a pointless underhanded comment per your usual MO?

and whats a whole day without a brainless riposte from u.. tragic really.. u cant just help yaself