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do u have kids.. how many yrs of marriage so far

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angelhair: we have bn married 5yrs and have 2 kids. When I asked him to promise me he would cut off all times, it took him so long to accept to do it. I told him " I know you love her, but you have to move on". Was I being silly, should I have gotten a knife and cut him? I'm worrying I might have handled it all wrong.

you are right to feel hurt but u guys have to move together
maybe u both shd attend some form of marriage counselling.. its helpful

Abeg where can she get marriage counseling in this Naija because me sef I need it.

Well, you need to really talk to your husband o. This is not that he is shagging some side chic, he seems to be in love with someone else. I suggest real marriage counseling so that you both know where you are headed. There are kids involved so it is more difficult. Seek marriage counseling and prayers and communication. You obviously still love your husband so you need to help him forget this woman by spending more time with him if you can and talking about it. This is not the time to pretend as if all is well, or to close your eye to the problem. You should discuss it with him regularly and probably his family too. If he cannot promise you to your face he will stop seeing her then there are problems. Talking to the girl's husband should be the last resort but it is also an option. When they both realize they are destroying two homes may be they will stop talking.

You've handled it right so far. Infact,very well too.Counselling seems like the way out as it is obvious your husband's will to make the marriage work. He just can't help himself.

Pray tell which marriage counselling do we have in Nigeria? People just open their mouth to talk anyhow. Is it the pastor who will tell you to stay there and pray that all is well? Or the society who will tell u where do you think you are going? Endure oh, marriage is all about endurance. ? My dear, trust is already broken in your marriage, and trust is like a mirror, you might try to fix it, but you best believe you will forever see the cracks. You might never be able to trust your husband conmpletely, and the onus is on your husband to build up that trust. Did he meet this woman after the marriage? Or was it during the marriage they met? You two, take a trip and talk, let him know how emotionally broken you are, and try to remember why you two got married in the first place. An emotional affair is usually harder to deal with than a physical one.

Daresh: Abeg where can she get marriage counseling in this Naija because me sef I need it.

Madam u are not alone o///maybe debrief can help///professional one sef

biolabee:

Madam u are not alone o///maybe debrief can help///professional one sef

You can talk to me about it. You have handled it with maturity but you don't have to get tired about it. Send me a mail on this biodun_akanji@yahoo.com.

I assure you a total change will come by God's grace.

littlejoe8:


You can talk to me about it. You have handled it with maturity but you don't have to get tired about it. Send me a mail on this biodun_akanji@yahoo.com.

I assure you a total change will come by God's grace.

Are you a qualified/licensed counselling professional?

Mehn, women have suffered in this Nigeria o.
Your 'husband' is in love with a 'married' woman?

Hmm

ifegy:

Are you a qualified/licensed counselling professional?

Yeah dude, are you? @beloved1993 no be small suffer o! Oh well I'm sure she has the licence to cheat now, he no go fit get mouth if she does her own cos his sin is much worse.

edited

angelhair: First of all I wasn't searching his phone. I was wanted to use it to make a call and he handed it to me himself probably forgetting to delete the call. Th is cheating happened over a year ago and it's something that has bn a pain in our relationship. @biolabee we have bn married 5yrs and have 2 kids. When I asked him to promise me he would cut off all times, it took him so long to accept to do it. I told him " I know you love her, but you have to move on". Was I being silly, should I have gotten a knife and cut him? I'm worrying I might have handled it all wrong.

And wht is wrong with you searching your partners phone. there shuld be no qualms with tht except the partner has lots to hide.I am a guy and the moment my lady starts to hide her phone from me then there is something fishy.

If he is still confessing to you he loves her. It then depends on the both of you.You have to both have a serious sitdown to decide what you both want and the terms must be seriously spelt out.I cant stand my lady telling me she is in love with some1 and is finding it difficult to get over the person.I am out tht very scond.

angelhair: A while ago, I discovered my husband was having an affair. It wasn't a short term roll in the hay it was more of a relationship with another Lady.

Well to cut the long story short after all the trouble, the separation the quarrels and the tears and begging for forgiveness, we decided to give it another shot.

We moved on with our lives , until last week when I tried to use his phone and found a suspicious received call. Then I discovered he was still in contact with her. now this lady has moved on, she's married now and has a child and is fearful for her own marriage cos I did threaten her about telling her husband what she was up to, so I'd doubt she will try.

So I asked him, dude what is all this about? From our discussion I realized that their relationship wasn't just sexual that he loved her and now he has a hard time letting go of her.


It is tough for me you know. I told her if he loves her, he can go to her and I'll be fine. He says he doesn't but I know he's lying, I know he loves her cos I cld tell he was pained when he realized she was getting married.

It's all really depressing right now, should I give him space to get over it cos he keeps calling her just to talk to her. Honestly right now, I'm tired, I'm about to give up.

That woman is his soul mate.
He married you ,probably loves you ,but he found the one his soul desires.
I feel for you
Sadly that affair may never end
I know a lady here that was in the same situation
Her husband tried his best but could never let go of the other woman no matter how hard he claimed to love his wife
They went through counseling,he promised to be faithful but kept going back to the same woman
They would lose communication for a few months but then resume and continue from where they stopped
She is now divorced from her husband because she couldn't take it anymore,the husband is shattered by the divorce and didn't want to be divorced from her but at the same time cannot let go of the bond with his mistress.

Mtchew! If my husband falls in love with another woman then his ass is gone. What kind of man does that?

slimyem: You've handled it right so far. Infact,very well too.Counselling seems like the way out as it is obvious your husband's will to make the marriage work. He just can't help himself.

ifegy: Are you a qualified/licensed counselling professional?

++

Daresh: Abeg where can she get marriage counseling in this Naija because me sef I need it.

no b lie, na better qstn u ask o. Where person fit get counsellor for Naija sef?.

SniperInADiaper: Mtchew! If my husband falls in love with another woman then his ass is gone. What kind of man does that?

smh

I really pray the Lord gives you direction on how top go about it. I believe there are no perfect marriage and every good marriage is worth fighting for. It now or never to put a stop to the affair with this same woman

I tink I knw these couples...

SniperInADiaper: Mtchew! If my husband falls in love with another woman then his ass is gone. What kind of man does that?

Same here
But it happens
mark Sanford,the former governor of South Carolina left his beloved wife and the state he was governing and disappeared to be with his lover.He is now married to that lover
Prince Charles was married to Lady Diana and his soul mate Camilla Parker Bowles never left the picture till he finally got a divorce and married the mistress.

There is a difference between a man who sleeps around and a man finding a woman that clicks with him which is what this wife here describes
The sadness at losing her from what she writes tells me this is not just about SE.x
There is a soulish connection here beyond SE.x
I feel for this wife because I have seen it destroy a couple here

SniperInADiaper: Mtchew! If my husband falls in love with another woman then his ass is gone. What kind of man does that?

I wonder o. I thought they say women cheat with their hearts and for men its just physical.
What do the men have to say to this now?

Sanboy25: First, you shouldn't have searched your husband's phone.
Then, it's a good thing that the woman is getting married.
If your man really wants to forget her, he should cut the ties once and for all if not, he'll always have lingering feelings for the woman. Both of you should go on a week-end, spend time together in order to build up once more a 'intimacy' between you two.
Don't lose faith, things are only getting better as the woman is married to another man.
Their story will end here (I think... )

Why can't she go through her husband's phone?

Pitiable! Speechless! What more can I say? The only true friend you can ever trust in life is YOU!

Just take heart and find solace in reading your Bible and talking silently to your God.

feminine A: I really pray the Lord gives you direction on how top go about it. I believe there are no perfect marriage and every good marriage is worth fighting for. It now or never to put a stop to the affair with this same woman

Which affair? The man is in LOVE.

Funny thing is if the adultress's husband finds out, she will be kicked out immediately.

@yuzedo we give up

this is serious

DailyNews: Pitiable! Speechless! What more can I say? The only true friend you can ever trust in life is YOU!

Just take heart and find solace in reading your Bible and talking silently to your God.

Are you serious @ all?

Mistade Regal:
Why can't she go through her husband's phone?

forgive him, because I am sure he thought the poster was talking about her boyfriend! If only he knows what it means to call someone your WIFE!