Hello. I have been with my guy for five years now. We are getting married next year. The thing is we are going to live in his family house, with his extended family. I didn't like the idea but I found a way to accept it seeing as its quite comfy and it means we won't have to worry about rent. Its basically a two bedroom apartment. The only thing I share with the rest of the family is back yard and staircase. He said we would do three years while he is building his own house.

His elder brother who is married lives in that same building. It's the maid THEY hired this year to take care of their sick dad, that worries me. The mom is late. She is very disrespectful to me. So many things happen and when he speaks to her about it, she won't bulge. All because it was the elder brother that interviewed her so she doesn't listen to almost anyone else. I spoke to my guy that I would not live with a maid that has not greeted me for almost a year or has no regard for my home or wouldn't obey him. He said he can't tell her to go because she is close to his brother's wife and she takes care of his dad.

This may sound petty but it's serious. All this family house wahala, if I tell him to rent a house he would say I'm not appreciating all his efforts to make sure we marry next year. I did laundry the other day came back and met the clothes soaked on the clothing line with all the rain that fell, meanwhile she brought in every other persons cloth inside. It might not be a big deal, but I don't want to resent any body I live with in my future home.

I need that maid gone, how do I get rid of her? The worst part is that since they all live together, he needs his brother's approval before he does almost anything, if I complain it would seem as if I wanna cause friction between both brothers. But there has been cases where changes were made by his brother and my guy wasn't even consulted. The maid before her was paid by my guy for two years straight, she didn't insult anybody. She left cuz his brother told him to sack her. That their father needed better attention and she wasn't a good cook. Na so my guy sack the girl. No question. They brought this one now and my guy paid for some month's and stopped because she was rude to him and me. His bro has been paying since. But my guy still pays nepa bills and those other things to run the house. Yet when he talks to this maid she won't listen.

How do I get her go? I don't like her one bit. She just basically work for the brother and his wife. I can't even send he to buy me matches. She calls me by name, would not greet. My guy told her to stop all these things, she still didn't listen. Please.

Can you focus more on your intended marriage?


*modified

Finally i am FTC. For those trying since 200Bc, i say keep the hustle. I dedicate this to Mtn and other FTC wannabe

You should be concerned about living in a family house as a wife. It's not as juicy as you think. As for the maid, show her some love. You two might end up being best of friends.

Hmmmm!..............my candid advice is that even if this current maid leaves, what is the prospect of getting one that you will interview yourself or one that will be better of. Since it's just two years your husband promised. It's not too long the clock is already ticking. Even folks who are serving jail term in prison know that they will come out some day. Patience is the key ............... Runs to call lalasticlala....... We need a ride to lalasticlala

ima30:
Hello. I have been with my guy for five years now. We are getting married next year. The thing is we going to live in his family house, with his extended family. I didn't like the idea but I found a way to accept it seeing as its quite comfy and it means we won't have to worry about rent. Its basically a two bedroom apartment. The only thing I share with d rest of the family is back yard and staircase. He said we would do three years while he is building his own house. His elder brother who is married lives in that same building. It's the maid THEY hired this year to take care of their sick dad, that worries me. The mom is late. She is very disrespectful to me. So many things happen and when he speaks to her about it, she won't burge. All because it was the elder brother that interviewed her so she doesn't listen to almost anyone else. I spoke to my guy that I would not live with a maid that has not greeted me for almost a year or has no regard for my home or wouldnt obey him. He said he can't tell her to go because she is close to his brother's wife n she takes care of his dad. This may sound petty but it's serious. All this family house wahala, if I tell him to rent a house he would say I m not appreciating all his efforts to make sure we marry next year. I did laundry the other day came back and met the clothes soaked on the clothing line with all the rain that fell, meanwhile she brought in every other persons cloth inside. It might not be a big deal, but I don't want to resent any body I live with in my future home. I need that maid gone, how do I get rid of her? The worst part is that since they all leave together he needs his brother's approval before he does almost anything, if I complain it would seem as if I wanna cause friction between both brothers. But there has been cases where changes were made by his brother n my guy wasn't even consulted. The maid before her was paid by my guy for two years straight, she didn't insult anybody. She left cuz his brother told him to sack her. That their father needed better attention and she wasn't a good cook. Na so my guy sack d girl. No question. They brought this one now and my guy paid for some month's and stopped cuz she was rude to him n me. His bro has been paying since. But my guy still pays nepa bills n does other things to run the house. Yet when he talks to this maid she won't listen. How do I get her gone? [/b]I don't like her one bit. She just basically work for the brother n his wife. I can't even send he to buy me matches. [b]She calls me by name, would not greet. My guy told her to stop all these things, she still didn't listen. Please.

I laugh in Swahili

True true, you be new bride. Shior

You are about to start your married life in a family house with a brother-in-law and his wife as well as your sick father-in-law and the only thing that bothers you is the maid because she doesn't greet you

Hehehehehe sorry o, madam the madam

Do you have a job? Pls get busy with work such that you won't even have the time to notice who is greeting you or who is not. If you were living alone, who would have taken your clothes off the line?

My dear, get your priorities right. The maid is not yours, face your husband and stop behaving like madam in a house that's not yours.

***modified - I went back to read your post, I honestly think you have bigger issues. You are not even married to him yet and you authoritatively want the maid gone cuz she calls you by name I just hope you don't scatter that family before you finally get married to him sorry for my harsh words oo but you have personal issues you need to resolve asap

Please divorce him

Oh you never marry sef oya break up with him and save both parties future headaches

h

OP u sef get ur own for body..

U can't send her?
She does not bring in ur cloth?.
She does not greet u?.

Abeg make I ask you this queshion, if u were leaving in a tenant house will u send ur neigbours wife to buy matches nd if she does not greet u nko..

Don't know why u ladies have got issues.
Can't u live ur life without thinking she exist.

U just the Bossy type, once u accord her respect she will reciprocate..

This shouldn't be a problem.

Just put her where she belongs and have nothing to do with her.

the way I see it you just need to ignore her. at least she is not looking for you trouble. lol why are you worried about someone greeting you? there is nothing much you can do because to them you are still a "girlfriend" you are not yet family. just throw away ya face. act like she doesn't exist

op the maid wants you out just as u want her out....

I bet There is something fishy goin on in that house that the maid dosnt want you to know...maybe she feels threatenend by you...

You sure say either your guy or ur brother in-law to be no get something intimate with her?

Do your investigation...over to u, I rest my case

I will see a new topic and just comment blindly without readin it, jus to make ftc yet, I wil stil meet chairmen n chairladies already their b4 me.....una no get work...mtcheeeew!

Firstly, you should approach her, bring up gist a couple of times and watch her reaction. Im guessing its just a lack of communication, maybe she isn't much of a talker. Nothing more.
But if its affirmed that it's you she doesn't like, then get your bf to talk his brother into sacking her. Sack her! Your brother in law being a married man himself, should understand you guy's concerns.
Do this, otherwise, she will dent your image before his family as she doesn't like you.
And if your brother in law refuses, it will only mean that he has a thing for her hidden somewhere...
No sane person will sacrifice family over some maid he isn't even sure where her loyalty lies.

Mumu wan send maid to buy matches. Mumu is looking for greetings from the maid. Mumu wants maid to bring in her clothes when it is raining.

Mumu does not pay maid's salary.

Only prayer can help oooo.

Great

See gobe

SORRY TO SAY BUT YOU SEEM LIKE A TROUBLE MAKER I KNEW WHEN YOU SAID YOUR GUY DOES NOT DO ANYTHING WITHOUT HIS ELDER BROTHERS KNOWING I SEE NOTHING WRONG THERE... IT'S HIS ELDER BROTHERS UNLESS YOU WANT TO BE THE ONE TO bring TROUBLE IN THE HOUSE AND IT'S NOT YOUR MAID SO FOCUS ON YOUR OWN LIFE... Biko... The way you narrated it... Looks like everything was going smoothly before you came.. Calm down and adapt... A real woman uses wisdom to act

Hmmmm

See this one o

Women and wahala
You can stay with a guy for years no issue but once a woman enters wahala burst.

From experience, whenever a maid is getting stubborn, it means someone is getting laid

Seems the problem here is that she is a 'maid' and you are a 'wife' in that house. Let's just skip the part where you should not be living with someone you are not yet married to for now and focus on the one you brought up.

She is human too and someone's daughter and in the future a lovely wife to a wonderful man as well. If her present conditions say she would be in your 'house' for now it does not justify her being treated as a slave just because you pay her fees. She was brought in for a reasona and she is fulfilling that part dutifully.

ima30:

His elder brother who is married lives in that same building. It's the maid THEY hired this year to take care of their sick dad, that worries me. The mom is late. She is very disrespectful to me. So many things happen and when he speaks to her about it, she won't bulge. He said he can't tell her to go because she is close to his brother's wife and she takes care of his dad.

If she had helped you packed your clothes from the blues wouldn't you be scared? Shows there is a love vacuum between you both.

I did laundry the other day came back and met the clothes soaked on the clothing line with all the rain that fell, meanwhile she brought in every other persons cloth inside.

There is no rule that says she must greet you first and she is not meant to serve you for that matter.

How do I get her go? I don't like her one bit. She just basically work for the brother and his wife. I can't even send her to buy me matches. She calls me by name, would not greet. My guy told her to stop all these things, she still didn't listen. Please.

Why not call her closely without any attitude whatsoever and have a heart to heart talk with her and know what is bugging her and you explain your issues with her. You see a terrible maid, she sees a terrible oga's wife. Ask her what she feels you are doing wrong and tell her hers. Find a nutral ground and let bith parties commit to making positive changes. As nawtibownie said you guys could just be the best of friends.

Lastly you do need to get a home of your own at least your parents are not rejecting you. Plan a future of a great matrimonial home with your bae in your own place to avoid friction with others in the future. Let me say this, you are lucky it is the main and not your future sis-in-law you get issue with. Remember to talk to her she o gbo dear (the maid).

Wishing you well - Teemy

nawtibownie:
You should be concerned about living in a family house as a wife. It's not as juicy as you think. As for the maid, show her some love. You two might end up being best of friends.

gbam!!!

Nelsizzy:
Can you focus more on your marriage?

May I please buy you:one bottle of Schnapps, a bundle of kolanuts, 3 kegs of palm wine, one complete native outfit from any culture of your choice, 2 bearded catfishes, 1 ram,10 white chicken, 5 tubers of yam and a black-and-white nanny goat as my thanks for writing this beautiful and succinct answer?

This reply was so filled with wisdom, that Wisdom itself came out of my laptop and shook hands with me just for reading what you wrote for the OP.

ok

If she doesn`t greet you, greet her. If she doesn`t want to buy matches for you, go out and buy it yourself (Afterall you no get two legs)

If you want your image in the mirror to smile at you, smile at it first and it will smile back. I hope you understand what I just wrote.




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