deols: @Efemmena xy


The role models for Muslims are the prophet and the rightly guided khilaafa who followed him.Not a harem keeping 21st century man.

I was born into Islam and in my 20+yrs on earth, relating most of the time with Muslims, I have never seen a harem.

Could an harem be a myth?




About role models, I have to ask you if reverend King is one to you, or the pastor who
got eaten at UI zoo.

I would even like to ask whether a pastor Kumuyi lifestyle or a pastor Chris Oyakhilome is the true Christian one.

Well, my conclusion remains that it is everyone to themselves, eventually.

Are you now claiming that harem is not real bcs it is not common practice today
That the old prophets n sultans did not have harems

ileobatojo:


Exactly! Just like you did here...




[b]How does being a key provider make you polygamous by default. [/b]So if a woman is a key provider, she will naturally desire to marry several husbands?


I do agree that legalizing polygamy to get to the end game of polyandry is not a worthwhile endeavor though I disagree with your biased reasoning for this. Neither should be legalized. Ms Keenan should take a chair and sit down abeg. Even if she doesn't have a bait and switch in mind, her position is very dodgy and it would show that she is not very bright.

Read my post again, I am never in support of polygamy and never stated men been key providers makes them polygamous. Instead I am implying that men by nature are polygamous and like to have multiple sexual partners." The key providers" point was to highlight how men in this present dispensation are still in charge making it more easy from them to embrace polygamy than bigamy even if both is legalized.

biolabee:
Are you now claiming that harem is not real bcs it is not common practice today
That the old prophets n sultans did not have harems

This 'harem' thing is just an abode for women in the household.

tbaba1234:

I had to clarify this:

The statement is untrue, Muslims are ONLY allowed to marry four wives in this age and time. I would clarify what i mean.

To understand this, you have to travel a few thousand years back. Slavery was a common practice in arabia before Islam and the slaves were essentially captives from war.

Islam inculcated these slave women into society by giving them freedom and made them equal citizens in society.

Therefore, a muslim man could at that time take these women (aside the four) as 'wives' (what you will call concubines).

They had the same exact rights as normal wives, their children had the right to inheritance. Imagine, the child of the slave girl could inherit. Many times, in kingdoms, the child of the slave girl became king.

There was absolutely no difference amongst the children. The slave girl becomes a permanent member of the home.

I don't see any slave women today in need of liberation.

Oga mi sir

Your post is not clear
The point is can muslims can have more 4 wives whether they're slaves or housegirl or concubines

If the old prophets had 4 wives and 5 slaves that he slept with now n then..... is that haram?

Answer carefully

tbaba1234:

This 'harem' thing is just an abode for women in the household.

So the prophets n sultans n rich people kept nubile nubile young women out of goodness of their hearts in their homes to play and mAybe do hospitality for others?

biolabee:

Oga mi sir

Your post is not clear
The point is can muslims can have more 4 wives whether they're slaves or housegirl or concubines

If the old prophets had 4 wives and 5 slaves that he slept with now n then..... is that haram?

Answer carefully

You want a simplistic answer that does not exist.

A muslim can have four wives , the 'slaves' have exactly the same rights as his wives. So they were not women just slept with now and then, like you put it.

And yes, in an era where slavery was common, the easiest way to liberate the slave was to marry them and bring them into your household.

Tell me where the child of a former slave woman also had the rights of inheritance as all women in the abode.

biolabee:

So the prophets n sultans n rich people kept nubile nubile young women out of goodness of their hearts in their homes to play and mAybe do hospitality for others?

Even if he has just two wives, it is still a harem.

Would you give your wives to other men to sleep with?

kulyie: are you ok? Did i tell you i am interested in men for a relationship. Anyway there is no need for replying you.your post lacks coherence,substance and point,i dont know what you are on about and sincerely,i dont care.your shallow mindedness is pathetic to say the least :/

That's good to know, am truly happy for your decision cos its 1 less future case of male molestation prevented.

tbaba1234:

Even if he has just two wives, it is still a harem.

Would you give your wives to other men to sleep with?

dude,,, the irony is being lost on you

You come here with a high horse trying to claim one religion is righteous than another when there is historical evidence that prophets or sultans ( who are descendents of people closest to the prophet) had more than four wives

If your point that that a true practitioner of islam should not have more than four wives,good i agree with this but if you say muslims have never had more than 4 wives, then my friend, you are being economical with the truth

Matthew briggs:

That's good to know, am truly happy for your decision cos its 1 less future case of male molestation prevented.

smh sicko :/


deal with what is giving you mental and attitudal issues first before you get bothered about another person :/

Efemena_xy:

Deols, Deols, Deols....

You contradict yourself, yet again.

You say you've corrected my assumptions about muslim men keeping concubines and yet in the same breath you say your understanding of harem "meant where concubines are kept"??

By whom na? (Muslim men)
And what for? (mostly sex)

So how is that any different from what this thread is about? But most importantly, what exactly is your point here? Which side are you on??

No.I didnt contradict myself and my stance has been made known and has not changed.

I quoted you only to correct the thought that men can have 4 wives and as many concubines as possible.But No. they can only have four wives and nothing more.

With tbaba's explanation, it appears the slave girls are termed concubines, which even in my dictionary is wrong.

So, again my post to you was to change the misconception that Muslim men can have concubines according to the Islamic law.


Now about the OP, I already stated that allowing polygamy is fine by me. I agree with some feminist views but I am not can never be a feminist.

Matthew briggs:

That's good to know, am truly happy for your decision cos its 1 less future case of male molestation prevented.

ouch

kulyie: that is a lie fabricated by men who lack self control.if all men are polygamous in nature,why are the likes of bill gates,obama,the founder of apple,i cant remember his name and the facebook guy,mark something. why are they not married to 4 wives.it is when you want to perform an action that is contrary to common sense and rationality you hide under the guise of religion (islam)

Lolz... See your level of ignorance

Those bolded peeps you mentioned are living in the west, how do you expect them to marry 4 wives where polygamy is illegal... Do you even know if they sleep with misstress outside.

kulyie: smh sicko :/


deal with what is giving you mental and attitudal issues first before you get bothered about another person :/

I don't understand that man. See the way he jumped on your case and started attacking and insulting you because you said you are not interested in marriage.
Hia! Na wa for some nairalanders and their inability to respect other people's choices.

kulyie: but it speaks well of human nature to encourage polygamy.face it you are just encouraging double standards and the world has moved past it.civilization and the new world order has created more opportunities for men and women.take it or live it.if you choose to remain in stone age,that is your cup of tea but there are more kinds of marriages available to people now and please dont give me that african culture crap,the culture has only succeeded in killing your thinking faculties.you use religion when it suits you and you use morality when it suits you.heterosexual marriages and polygamous marriages.there are more depending on whichever that rocks your boat

And the west doesn't kill your thinking?? SMH

deols:
Now about the OP, I already stated that allowing polygamy is fine by me. I agree with some feminist views but I am not can never be a feminist.

Salam deols, please what do you take the term 'feminist' to mean?

biolabee:

dude,,, the irony is being lost on you

You come here with a high horse trying to claim one religion is righteous than another when there is historical evidence that prophets or sultans ( who are descendents of people closest to the prophet) had more than four wives

If your point that that a true practitioner of islam should not have more than four wives,good i agree with this but if you say muslims have never had more than 4 wives, then my friend, you are being economical with the truth

What moral high horse are you talking about?

The only reason, I made a comment on this was to clarify a previous comment.

I think I did so for those with understanding. Take deep breaths, relax and read again. It might become clearer.

deols: @tintingz, do you really need all of these arguments.

Chauvinism doesnt suit you jor.

Like the op, I believe polygyny isnt only wanted by men. There are women who thrive in such unions. Allowing them that is good enough.



I must say that I agree with many of feminist views. There are other terms to describe women who don't want to keep to the real, men-hating feminism.They could be womanist or members of women organisations.

I am a humanist btw.

I'm NOT a chauvinist nor support chauvinism

What i dislike is when some women calling themselvs feminist hating men and generalize all men as rapist and animalistic creature... Reading from the feminist i quoted out about men you can see the hate in them

Feminism is a group of hate on men, imagine kulyie who poured hot water on someone's face because he broke her sister's heart, just imagine the scence... I pray i dont meet someone like kulyie!

kulyie: exactly illk love to see the looks on the faces of those pathetic and miserable judgemental chauvenists

I'm not chauvinist and i dont hate feminist but feminism the group that cause women to hate men

@tbaba1234
your comment was very clear... trying to prove muslims dont marry more than 4
correct me if i am mistaken

fellis:
I don't understand that man. See the way he jumped on your case and started attacking and insulting you because you said you are not interested in marriage.
Hia! Na wa for some nairalanders and their inability to respect other people's choices.

heheheeh you dey mind am when i no leave my mouth/fingers with laundary man.i know how to handle men like him na abi after i give him his answer,he tackle me again it goes to tell you that some people no gbojuboro.see the mouth sef,e dey do me like say make i slap am before he complete his mumu talk

tintingz: I'm not chauvinist and i dont hate feminist but feminism the group that cause women to hate men

hehehehehe yorubas talk say alfa dey burn,you still dey ask for im bear bear what is the difference between feminism and feminist.is it possible to to divorce a person from her beliefs. Is it possible to tell a pastor devil loves you or tell an alfa to follow you to a strip club :Dyou are just a clown deceiving yourself

tintingz: I'm NOT a chauvinist nor support chauvinism

What i dislike is when some women calling themselvs feminist hating men and generalize all men as rapist and animalistic creature... Reading from the feminist i quoted out about men you can see the hate in them

Feminism is a group of hate on men, imagine kulyie who poured hot water on someone's face because he broke her sister's heart, just imagine the scence... I pray i dont meet someone like kulyie!

o really? So what would you have had me do.ok if you were kulyie,how will you have handle such a guy.and by the way,dont pray for such because it will not be answered.one day you will meet or come across ladies like kulyie or even kulyie herself :p 8-)

tintingz: And the west doesn't kill your thinking?? SMH

on the contrary,it enhances my thinking faculties and given me a wide range of opportunities.imagine education and civilization wasnt brought to africa,people like you would have been using leafs of fruit tree tied with rope to cover your penis. Think about that :/ imagine what would have become of you if you were a stark illiterate.abi the peeps that make phones,tv,laptops electicity,planes etc,did they make it in africa.even if africans have innovation,its about magun,jazz,how to snatch someones husband or wife.abeg spare me joor :/

tintingz: Lolz... See your level of ignorance

Those bolded peeps you mentioned are living in the west, how do you expect them to marry 4 wives where polygamy is illegal... Do you even know if they sleep with misstress outside.

see your level of mental squalor.why are you always lying to prove a point.so akon who is known to be a polygamist and doesnt hide it hails from your village abi.smh.even the guy that they played out his life in the movie,'why do fools fall in love' whats that his name sef,cant remember it now.he hails from your home town abi.abeg stop saying what youre not sure of.everything has to do with self control and internal discipline

Is akon legally married to more than one wife or he cohabits with them

Madam you harsh oo

Intellectual squalor

biolabee: Is akon legally married to more than one wife or he cohabits with them

Madam you harsh oo

Intellectual squalor

plenty people dey vex my spirit for this thread starting with the op but i don cool down for now

@Kulyie, why don't you wanna marry?

tintingz: I'm NOT a chauvinist nor support chauvinism
What i dislike is when some women calling themselvs feminist hating men and generalize all men as rapist and animalistic creature... Reading from the feminist i quoted out about men you can see the hate in them

So in your mind feminism is the female version of chauvinism? Wonders shall never end.
And you quoted extremist feminists whose ideologies have nothing to do with feminism then started claiming that all feminists hate men.
As a muslim you should know better. What if I quote the things boko haram militants say about Islam and then claim that Islam supports violence because boko haram says so? Does that seem sensible to you?

Anyway your own no too consain me. Am waiting for deols to tell me what she thinks feminist means.

alutacontinua: @Kulyie, why don't you wanna marry?

because of the nature of my job which will most likely take its toll on the marriage it wont even give me the time for home management or a man (dont bother to ask me what i do for a living) and there are some certain life styles of mine that i am not WILLING TO SACRIFICE ON THE ALTER OF MARRIAGE or a man.am too strong willed.3 my freedom and independence to make certain decisions that will not need to put into consideration husband,my love for my freedom,privacy and space.my attitudal trait that cant accept no you cant do this from any man,the fact that i can have kids and other things attached to the institution and still live single,the fact that it is not uncostitutional and nobodys father will arrest me for it,i also make my rules.i find it difficut or impossible to subject my will to a man and so on and i am living peacefully and happily with my life which is not affecting anybody moreover kulyie is the law maker of her life not society

kulyie: because of the nature of my job which will most likely take its toll on the marriage it wont even give me the time for home management or a man (dont bother to ask me what i do for a living) and there are some certain life styles of mine that i am not WILLING TO SACRIFICE ON THE ALTER OF MARRIAGE or a man.am too strong willed.3 my freedom and independence to make certain decisions that will not need to put into consideration husband,my love for my freedom,privacy and space.my attitudal trait that cant accept no you cant do this from any man,the fact that i can have kids and other things attached to the institution and still live single,the fact that it is not uncostitutional and nobodys father will arrest me for it,i also make my rules.i find it difficut or impossible to subject my will to a man and so on and[b] i am living peacefully and happily with my life which is not affecting anybody moreover kulyie is the law maker of her life not society[/b]

On reading this, I apologise for coming hard on you, you are truly happy been single, I respect your decision and wish you the best. But please do tone down on your man hating that seems to fill every thread I see with your name. I might be wrong but I think you are a man in a woman's body, so I can understand your pain. (no pun intended referring to your extremely strong willed personality)

Enjoy your life. Men are not the enemy, the society is. There are good men out there, If you ever decide to settle down which I doubt you will, I pray the right man find you, one who will love you for you, For your strength and weakness. A man that will heal your wound and put smile on your face.

Cheers Milady.

Matthew briggs:

On reading this, I apologise for coming hard on you, you are truly happy been single, I respect your decision and wish you the best. But please do tone down on your man hating that seems to fill every thread I see with your name. I might be wrong but I think you are a man in a woman's body, so I can understand your pain. (no pun intended referring to your extremely strong willed personality)

Enjoy your life. Men are not the enemy, the society is. There are good men out there, If you ever decide to settle down which I doubt you will, I pray the right man find you, one who will love you for you, For your strength and weakness. A man that will heal your wound and put smile on your face.

Cheers Milady.

wonderful,i cant believe my eyes.so you are this pleasant. chisos




i had to remove the contact lenses i was wearing to read again,i thought it was my lenses deceiving me.intresting.so there are still pleasant men in nairaland.if that is the case,then i believe nigeria can be one of the top economies in the world beating america,france,germany and russia gdp put together with a sane and clean environment.

Abi shey i dey dream ni anyway thanks for understanding